Unrequited
by mattlukejess
Summary: Would it really be a second chance I'm asking for when we'd barely had a first? Growing up life was hard, but we always stuck together like we were the three musketeers, her monsters too, Luke Sully, me Mike with Ana our Boo. One night was all it took for three best friends to become two, and she was gone before I could tell her the truth. HEA as always and never any cheating.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, I'm back. **

**I've had a busy January and an even crazier start to February so I decided to write most of this story before posting it in case life gets busy again.**

**As always E. L. James owns everything fifty, I'm just having my fun. **

**This story like all of my others is Un-betered so all mistakes are my own.**

**Enjoy.**

CPOV

The water from the shower beat down on my now heated skin as I ignored the water that fell from the sky outside.

Seattle had recently been enjoying two weeks of uninterrupted sunshine which had been a welcome bonus when I'd returned from a very hot South Africa on business. I think I'd spent more time out on the water sailing in those two weeks than I had in the past two years. I even had a tan for a change instead of the pasty white skin I usually had as I'm always busy inside.

Now though, the sun felt like a distant memory as the rain had returned with a vengeance and was angrily trying to get inside as it knocked loudly against the windows.

Leaving the shower, I dried myself off as I walked into my closet to pick out my suit for the day.

I had a busy day ahead of me before I met up with Luke for dinner this evening now he was back in town. My day was full of meetings just like all other days that had come before. There was one meeting that I wasn't looking forward to though and that was one I'd felt bulldozed into taking by Ros. If Katherine Kavanagh was as bad as her father then I can see this meeting being cut very short with her being removed from the building. Good PR, Ros had told me it was for at the time when it had been scheduled in and at that time with the reputation that my company had for being one of the best to work for and work with in the country, I'd questioned why this interview needed to take place.

It's only now after years of attending various society parties around town, each one with a different woman that I think it's me she thinks needs a better image before it starts affecting my company especially after the last event I attended before Africa when I was nearly arrested after giving someone a black eye. I do what I do, I show up, give money when it needs to be given. Those women are a means to an end as I refuse to turn up to an event on my own. All are paid to be on my arm with a smile, of which very few over the years see me past that night.

Leaving Escala, I caught up on my emails that had come in overnight. Being the owner of a company that had its toe in the water of over twenty countries, means no matter, day or night, someone wants my attention.

"Mr Grey, are your dinner plans still set," Taylor asked me as I looked away from what I had been reading on my phone to give him my full attention.

"Yes, unless I hear from Luke otherwise. He may be here for only a couple of days before he's jetting off again so this may be the only evening when I get to see my friend" I replied with a smile.

Luke Sawyer, who would've thought that the skinny kid that I've known since Kindergarten would become the quarterback of the Seattle Seahawks, I certainly didn't, considering he was more interested in books back then than trying out at sports. High school brought forth his interest in girls too, but still no interest in sports until his final years. With his good looks, his infectious personality, he could charm the ladies back then when he wanted too, now they are eating out of his hands. Especially when he's on billboards in his underwear like the one we've just past.

"I will make sure the reservations are confirmed and that they know who will be arriving. I might need to have Welch add extra security to keep the women away."

"Luke can handle himself" I replied, seeing Taylor's nod.

Girls can scream at Luke as much as they like but if they don't have the brains to go with the beauty, they're fighting a losing battle with my friend. Only one has ever had both as far as Luke is concerned but just like with me, he saw her as his best friend.

A smile filled my mind then, a quiet giggle that turned into a laugh. I pushed all thoughts of her away when the tears appeared on her beautiful face because of the pain I had caused her.

"Sir, we're here" Taylor spoke, bringing me from my thoughts as I looked down to where my hand was laid upon my chest. I had been unintentionally rubbing my chest as if I could rub not only my pain away but also hers.

"Thank you, Taylor, I have no plans to leave the building today until I visit with Luke so if you want to, you have time to pick up that gift that you've ordered," I said, of the bracelet he had ordered for his daughters birthday.

"Thank you, sir. I will check in with Welsh to make sure everything is in order and then I will slip out and pick it up."

I nodded, getting out of the car as we both rushed towards the doors of my building that were being held open for us, ignoring the press and their questions that had gathered there. Once inside, we shook our coats off before heading towards the elevators as Taylor told security to remind those outside that they were trespassing and to move them on.

The ride up to the twentieth floor was swift as this elevator was just for me and would stop at no other floor but mine. As Taylor and I went our separate ways, Andrea followed me into my office before taking a seat opposite my desk, tablet in hand ready to start the day.

We went through the schedule for today as I informed her what paperwork I would need for each meeting I would be in. Like the professional that she was, Andrea had everything ready for each one, all except for the last meeting of the day.

"I don't expect it to run over" I stated. "In fact, I'm hoping to have it over and done with as soon as I can. I'm not exactly happy that I have to waste time doing this interview" I grumbled.

"It's good P.R.," she said. "The Times published a story about you this morning, about you marrying some socialite. Having this interview already in place will give you the chance to dispel the rumours floating around."

"That explains the leeches waiting outside. Honestly, Andrea, I don't give a shit about what those rags say." 

"You should" she replied as I looked up into the concerned eyes of one of the very few women who I consider a friend. "You should let them see you. You're seen as Seattle's playboy, you play the part so well that no one can see you as anything else. No one sees the work you do to help the worlds hungry, how much money you put into new ventures to help the homeless and the poor. All they see is one of the countries richest men who likes fast cars and even faster women."

"People aren't interested in anything other than that Andrea. I have my reasons why I choose to live the way I do and having some spoilt brat write up a story on me, one who had to beg daddy to keep asking me over and over to do the interview isn't going to change that."

I heard her sigh as Andrea got up from the chair to get me a cup of coffee. I needed a strong cup to get me through this long day.

…

My first meeting was productive, my second, I spent most of it shouting at the incompetent people around me who had fucked up a deal. Thankfully I was able to take lunch in my office and it was quiet until I received a call from my sister.

"Ball," Mia said as the call connected.

"Balls to you too Mia" I replied, hearing her chuckle down the line.

"You know what I'm talking about, the Coping Together ball. Mum asked me to call, to one, find out if you were bringing a date, and two if Luke was coming this year." 

"To answer question one, don't I always and two, I'm not sure. I'm having dinner with him this evening."

"Ok, I will tell her that. Now, who are you bringing with you, please not that god awful Gia again."

"Not likely" I replied as I thought of last years ball and the vapid intern I took from here. Do not mix business with pleasure I learnt after that night as I heard she'd been telling others around the building that we were a serious couple and it would not be long before I proposed. She just like the woman on the front page of today's paper would have a hell of a long wait for that.

Me, married, never.

"I'm not sure who I'm bringing yet Mia but make sure there's a seat for her."

"You could find someone you actually like to bring brother or come on your own. Either would be preferable than bringing a gold-digging wannabe who is looking for a ring."

"Bye Mia," I said, not wanting to get into this with her.

"Pain" she grumbled. "Love you, brother."

"You too" I replied before ending the call.

I finished my lunch, not realising until I pushed the plate away that I had spaghetti sauce on my white shirt.

"Shit" I grumbled, getting up from my chair before I headed into my private bathroom where I removed the shirt, trying and failing to get the sauce out by placing it under the cold tap. Leaving it in there to soak, I opened the small closet, before pulling a clean shirt down and put it on.

It was when I was about to close the door, it caught my eye. I knew it was there but I always found it too painful to look at, but thinking of her in the car, for the first time in so long, I pulled the photograph down.

It was a photograph of Luke, and me and sandwiched in-between, all of us laughing was her, Ana.

I always wondered about what she looked like now and where she was, before the horrible thought crept in of if she was still even alive. Thinking that brought back the pain in my chest almost winding me as I cursed at my stupidity for thinking such a thing. Ana was alive, she had to be, there was no other option than that.

She left, left us, left me and it was all my fault.

"Mr Grey, your next appointment is here" I heard Andrea say over the intercom.

Walking over to my desk, the photograph still in hand, I replied for her to show them into the conference room and I would join them in a few minutes.

Heading back to my bathroom, I ran my finger over Ana's face before I placed a kiss upon her smile. Putting it back where it belonged, I placed it besides what was left of the rose I had given to her long ago.

…

I was back in my office, long before my final meeting of the day, ending the call that I'd just had with Luke. Hearing that he would be back for longer than expected, even if that longer meant just a few days brought a smile to my lips. Dinner was still on and so was his attendance at my parent's ball.

Hearing a knock on the door, I looked up when Andrea entered and seeing the roll of her eyes could only mean that my final visitor of the day was here.

"She's very eager and has a list of questions a mile long so getting out of here early might be out," she said.

"Just because she has a lot of questions doesn't mean she's getting any answers" I replied. "Make her wait a few minutes and could you bring me a cup of coffee please."

"Of course," she replied before leaving the room.

Once my coffee cup was in my hand, Andrea showed Miss Katherine Kavanagh into my office. She looked a little like her father as she approached me, sticking out her hand for me to shake, although, from the look on her face, she didn't appreciate being made to wait. I run everything around here so she will wait as long as I want her to if she wants this interview to take place.

"Miss Kavanagh please take a seat," I said, upon releasing her sweating hand. She was nervous, I liked that, maybe she hadn't inherited her father's arrogance after all.

"Thank you, Mr Grey, shall we begin," she asked.

"Of course, I'm sure we both have better things to do than this."

She didn't say anything to my reply, she just set up her recorder before removing the papers from the folder she had on her lap. Then the questions started, the usual crap.

To what do I owe to my success. What businesses do I invest in, in Seattle, around the globe and many more, all questions I have answered before, answers she could've just looked up herself and saved both of us some time. They were all questions that I doubt she was interested in knowing the answers to either. Only one question she asked did I believe warranted a real and honest answer.

"Your company works with Washington State University, you're stated as being its largest donor, can I ask why that is."

"It's a good cause, investing in one's future" I stated.

"Really?" she questioned.

"You don't think to invest in the future is important," I asked. "I put money into the agricultural sciences department there, a department I might say that has shown some amazing results over the past few years. We all need food to survive no matter where we are in the world so the team there research sustainability and growth, find ways that help crops flourish in environments that might have once been barren or toxic to them."

"Isn't that science?" she asked sounding bored with my answer.

"I suppose there is a little science in everything."

More inane questions followed, most I gave basic answers too as I was eager to end this interview now.

"Are you gay?" she asked, bringing me from thoughts of being anywhere but here.

"Excuse me" I spat at her, my anger showing.

"I asked you if you were gay" she repeated a little quieter now as she realised she had overstepped the mark.

I picked this mornings newspaper up from my desk and tossed it towards her to which it cleared the desk before landing on the floor at her feet.

"Does that answer your question."

"So it's true then, I didn't believe," she said picking up the newspaper, smiling as if she was gaining an extra exclusive to a story that had already been run.

"No, it's not true" I replied, "You shouldn't believe everything you read."

"She's a very beautiful lady," she said of the women on the front cover who had attended an event with me a few months ago. A woman whose name I couldn't even remember before reading the article that had been put out, as I'd informed Sam in PR to have this story shut down.

"Yet you ask if I am gay" I laughed humourlessly.

"Mr Grey, you are constantly being photographed with women but none you seem comfortable with. The only person I have ever seen you with besides your family who you are relaxed with is Luke Sawyer, hence the question."

"Miss Kavanagh, Luke Sawyer has been my best friend since kindergarten. He's seen me at my best and my worst and is the person I can always count on to have my back. Naturally, I'm going to be comfortable around him. Now did you not come here to speak about the good work of my company and what I have done with it."

"Hardly, we both know that I came to write about the real you" she laughed.

"Then you are wasting your time and mine. My private life is just that, private. Now I think this meeting is done."

"But, but" she spluttered. "I have so many questions to ask you, about your company, the shipyards here in Seattle."

"A wasted opportunity for both of us then because instead, you chose to pry. Good day Miss Kavanagh, Andrea will see you out."

"Mr Grey.."

"Good day," I said, sitting back at my desk before picking up the papers that were there.

She would get nothing more from me and with a huff and a slammed door, it announced her departure from my office.

I sent a message to Taylor to let him know I was leaving soon. Before I left my office though, I called Andrea in, knowing she would only appear once that woman had been sent down in the elevator with no way to return.

"Can you clear my schedule on Friday afternoon, move around whatever I'm supposed to be doing and what can't be moved, get Ros to take it."

"Is there a problem?" she asked me.

"No, no problem. I'm flying down to Vancouver that day anyway so I thought I would leave earlier and see for myself what my investment at WSU is doing. I will be flying straight back Saturday after I give the commencement address at the graduation ceremony so if there is anything urgent that needs my attention, email it to me or send the paperwork over to Escala and I will look through it on Sunday."

"No day off," she asked.

"Is there ever" I replied.

"Do you want me to call the university and alert them of your arrival." 

"No, I get to see the real results when they don't know I'm about. I may sign the cheques for the university and receive reports on their work but it's been a few years since I've been there and seen for myself what they're doing."

"Alright, I will sort your schedule out before I go home," she told me.

"In the morning will do Andrea, go home."

"I will. Enjoy your dinner with Mr Charmer" she laughed.

"I will tell him you called him that," I told her.

"Please do."

I smiled, watching Andrea leave my office before I got my coat on. Thankfully it hadn't gotten too wet this morning so was now completely dry.

Leaving the building with Taylor, I was surprised to see Miss Kavanagh still here. She was stood close to the door, an umbrella over her head as she tried to shelter from the rain.

"Loitering on my property is not allowed Miss Kavanagh, especially after you have been told to leave," I said as she spun around, sending some of the rain that had been on top of her umbrella our way.

Thankfully Taylor who had been holding an umbrella over the both of us brought it down in front to block the spray.

"Loitering, hardly. I'm waiting for a friend of mine to pick me up. Don't worry, I wouldn't want to be in your presence a second longer than I need to be" she stated, turning her back on me before she started to walk toward the steps and a car that had just pulled up.

I ignored her, walking towards my car which with the places being taken up in front of my building was further down the street. I could wait for it to pull up as I'm sure the others will move on soon especially with security heading their way to let them know they can't park there but I was already running late after that disastrous interview.

It was only a split second that I heard her laughter, that I saw her as Kavanagh was about to close the door, inside the car still light compared to the dark and gloomy outside

"Ana" I spoke, my voice but a whisper as I felt frozen in place. "ANA" I screamed as the car started to drive away.

"Mr Grey," Taylor said startled at my movements as I abandoned my path to my car and started to run.

It was stupid, I knew that as I should've gone to my car. We would've been stuck like all the others though going at a snail's pace so my mind was shouting at me to run, carry on. The lights had turned to red up ahead so I had it in my mind that I might catch up to her, stop her before she could leave.

I could hear those following me although who those were apart from Taylor who was calling out for me to stop I didn't know. I just ran. As the lights turned to green, with a car narrowly missing me when I ran across its path, I knew it was too late, once again she was gone and my frustration was visible for all to see.

It was a flash from a camera going off that brought me back to my senses.

"Mr Grey is that another one of your lady friends," An arrogant reporter asked, one I had seen waiting to the side of my building when I had come out. I ignored him and did as Taylor said as we headed back up the street towards my building and the car.

It was some of Grey House's security who had followed as well and I heard as we moved away, what sounded like a camera being knocked to the floor. An accident it would be put as, accidentality on purpose. I didn't care how much I would have to pay him for my heavy-handed guards, he shouldn't have been there in the first place.

Ana, Ana, Ana...my mind was all over the place, had it really been her or had I just chased a stranger down the street. I had spent so long once I had the funds put in place to look for her, coming up with no information. Anastasia Steele seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth not long after she left and even though I know Ray Steele had a number for her back then, he refused to give it to me.

Sitting in the back of my car as I sent Luke a message to let him know that I had to go home first and change before meeting him, my mind was filled with Ana and the fact that I might have just watched her leave my life again only seconds after she had re-entered it. Was it really her or was I clutching at straws desperate for any sign? If it was her that meant that she was alive, that was all that should have mattered to me but I had questions only she could answer. I know I screwed up back then but she didn't have to leave.

She was my safe place, the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams, the one who knew all my secrets, some even Luke didn't know about. She saw me at my best, and held me at my worst but then she was gone.

"Ana, I will find you," I said aloud to no one but myself. "I will find you."

**Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. **

**Christian will find Ana again but in the last place, he would think to look.**

**Until next time, take care. **

**Caroline. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, I was originally going to post this story today but as valentines was yesterday, I decided to bring it forward. To say thank you for all your lovely reviews and messages, here is chapter two. Chapter three will be up during the week.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

APOV

I knew there was a chance I would see him there as soon as Kate had told me about the interview and I did, standing on the steps in front of his building as Kate started to walk my way. I couldn't let on how nervous I was seeing him in person again when she got in the car, seeing him standing right there instead of in the many magazines and newspapers I had seen him in over the years as Kate had no clue how close the man she had just interviewed and I had once been.

Christian had done well for himself, I always knew he would do, I also knew back then that I could never be a part of that.

He'd been my best friend, the one who held me when I cried, Luke too. Christian had been my first crush also and the first I really cared about, to break my heart. I'd idolised him back then, daydreaming just as teenagers do about a future that would never come. My fault really as being starved of affection and attention by those around me, I didn't stop him when it came my way. Had things been different, things wouldn't have ended the way they did.

We were two different people growing up, him seen as the bad boy to most, me, the good girl. And just as we're two different people now, like then, I refuse to be treated as second best.

"Earth to Ana, are you alright," Kate asked me bringing me from thoughts of the past.

"I'm fine Kate, you scrub up well" I teased, seeing her all dressed professionally when I knew she preferred to live in her jeans. That's all she owned in college and seeing her in a dress now is a bit of a shock.

"Unfortunately, one has to blend in to do one's work if one wants to do well in daddy's company."

"Shut up and speak properly" I laughed.

"It's good to see you Ana, good to see you when you're not knee-deep in mud and shit and look at your tan."

"Mud and shit is all part of the job, the tan, I've just returned from working in Africa" I laughed.

"I hope you going over there, it was not just work and no play."

"You know me" I smiled.

"Yes, head in a book if you're not at work."

"I explored, I got to meet and help some amazing people out there and took a great team of people with me. I played hard but not the playing you're thinking about."

"The hundred-year-old-virgin" she groaned, having no clue about the truth. "They will make a TV show out of you, I'll write the script" she laughed.

"As opposed to the twenty-seven-year-old slut."

"Bitch" she laughed.

"Back at you."

We parked up outside the restaurant we were eating dinner at, both getting out of the car still laughing.

"Whose car is this anyway, I thought you still drove that little red sporty number."

"I do when it's not broke. Its been in the garage for over a week because of engine trouble so I borrowed grandma's car. It gets me from A to B and she wasn't using it."

We entered the restaurant, being shown to the table that Kate had booked. I didn't look too bad against the upper-class that were seated having dinner and the only reason for that was because I had been to visit a client on behalf of my grandmother and I had to dress up for that.

I thanked the waiter who gave us the menu, opting for water as I still had to drive home. Kate though was straight on the wine.

"Are you sure you can't just crash at mine tonight?" she asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"I have work in the morning, a busy week ahead," I told her. "Besides if I'm not there in the morning to give Barnard his breakfast, he will wonder what is up."

"How's is the gorgeous Barnard doing, is he sexy as ever," she asked, causing me to nearly spit out my drink.

"Sexy, I'm getting worried about you Kate" I laughed. "Barnard is, Barnard. He has the ladies falling over themselves for his attention, especially considering he's got two of them pregnant already."

Our attention was focused on the table next to us then and the woman who was having her back patted as she choked. That will teach her for listening in on other peoples conversations.

"He's a good boy" Kate laughed before smiling at the woman.

"He is that" I replied as the waiter returned for our order.

…

"How was he," I asked when we were halfway through dinner unable to stop myself anymore.

"Who."

"Christian."

"What, you know Christian Grey," she asked.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you stop when you picked me up, he was there."

"It was a long time ago Kate and I doubt he would've remembered me" I replied

"Why do I think there's a story here," she asked.

"Maybe because you're a reporter and you think there is a story in everything."

"There is" She stated. "What was he like, back when you knew him."

"Kate, I'm not giving you an exposé on Christian Grey as a teenager" I sighed.

"A teenager, ok, off the record then, friend to friend because I can tell by the way you speak about him that there is a sadness there."

She didn't know the half of it.

"By what I read in the papers," I said. "He's pretty much the same. Christian was always a person of two halves."

"What do you mean," she asked.

"I mean the person I, Luke got to see and the person he showed everyone else."

"You know Luke Sawyer as well," she asked.

"We were all neighbours. I lived in the middle house of three with my mum and stepfather, Luke lived on the left and Christian on the right. The boys are a couple of years older than me and as they used to walk through my back yard to get to each other's houses I got to know them well or so I thought. I thought they were just ordinary boys until I went up to high school, there I saw them in a different light."

"How so," she asked.

"The boys I knew from home, the boys who would sit on my porch with their guitars, laugh and smile were the same boys at high school that left a trail of broken hearts behind. They didn't like that, me knowing what they were like with everyone else. They would speak to me different in high school, only letting on when no one else was around. They had an image there, a life within those walls that they didn't want me to be apart of and believe me, I didn't want to be apart of it. They would always apologise of course and for a while, I ignored them at school and just focused on the time when I saw them at home. He had everything Christian, a real family, not a broken one like my own. He had money and plenty of it but he could never relax like he was waiting to self destruct. I used to wait for him on the back porch, Luke too but the times they did come around, Christian especially became few and far between, probably spending time with one of the girls desperate for his attention. The only time he did come was when he needed me."

"How would he need you," she asked. I just shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to go into it any more as it was bringing memories back of that night. "I'm sorry Ana, I didn't mean to upset you," she said squeezing my hand.

"It's ok, I miss the friendship that we had then but we all grew up and it's been years since I've seen either of them."

"Did you leave, or did they."

"They did at first, going off to college although they came back for the holidays. It was me who made a permanent move and although I spoke to Ray often back then, I didn't go back as he always came to see me" I said, sadly of my late stepfather. "My mum had moved onto her next victim, husband by then and the offer was there to move too and although I said no originally as I was settled where I was and living with her and all the mess that surrounds her was the last thing I wanted to do, I needed a clean break, a change of scenery so I left."

"I asked if he was gay," she said, amusement in her voice at what I had just told her as she tried to lighten the mood. Her comment made me choke on my drink as I let out a laugh.

"No, he's certainly not gay," I replied.

"Are you sure" she teased, receiving silence as her answer. "Ana did you and him..."

"A kiss" and more. "He told me it was a mistake and then left."

Him ignoring me in the days that followed was all the answer I needed to the question I'd asked myself over and over, I was just like all the rest.

"Bastard" she spat.

"Kate, it's in the past, please let it rest."

Throughout the rest of dinner, we spoke of anything and everything but Luke Sawyer and Christian Grey. When I arrived back home, late that night I was surprised and happy to see my car had been returned and that someone was waiting to see me.

"You should be in bed" I spoke, running my hand across his head before I felt his nose, his face against my cheek.

"He was waiting for you" I heard as grandma joined me.

I continued to stroke Barnard's fur as we were approached by the others.

"I'm glad to be back" I sighed, giving the girls some attention.

"The city that bad" grandma asked.

"No, not really."

"Penny for them then."

"I saw him when I went to pick up Kate."

"Did you speak to him?" she asked.

"No, there was no need to do that."

"Really."

"We've all moved on grandma, grown-up and dredging up the past would do none of us any good," I told her.

"You could have seen him and given him a clip round the ear from me," she said, making me laugh as we patted the Alpaca's one last time before making sure they were locked up for the night.

Making our way into the small house, I was too tired for the tea that was offered to me. Kissing grandma on the cheek, I said my goodnights before I headed upstairs to bed.

I washed up, brushed my teeth and got into my comfy pj's. Instead of getting into bed, I got comfortable on the window seat.

My life has changed so much since my high school days, since being with Christian and Luke, mostly for the better, and for a while, a little for the worst. I no longer had a relationship with my mother, although come to think of it, I don't think I ever really did. She was all for herself and I was only brought forward in her life when it benefited her.

Texas was where I found myself when I left, living in a grotty apartment with my mother as I tried to finish high school. When I had arrived there she had already gotten married to husband number three and boy was he a creep. The only good thing she ever did back then was to listen to me when I told her he made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't realise at the time that she used me as an excuse to leave the man when in truth she had already set her eyes on someone else.

Moving around the country, husbands number five and six arrived although I never saw a ceremony or a ring. Had she married them, three either or was she still married to Ray, the only man I ever knew as my dad. I didn't know because I refused to stick around because with husband, boyfriend, whatever he was number six, came the back of his hand. Taking with me the little money I had hidden that Ray had sent me over the years, I left to go in search of my real family and the truth.

My mother had always told me that my real grandparents, my birth fathers parents were dead. My grandfather was, Grandma's second husband too but she, she was still alive and with many tears shed, she welcomed me into her home.

Carla Adams or whatever her name was now had lied to all of us, even telling my grandmother that I had died as a baby so she could sever contact completely with her. Grandma knew the second I knocked on the door who I was because I look just like her son.

Grandma is a country girl and even though she only has a small plot of land compared to some of the larger farms in the area, it was still large enough for chickens and old Spot the cow. That was until I had told her about the alpaca's I had helped look after, volunteering on a community farm. Two weeks later, Barnard and his harem appeared.

...

Morning soon arrived and I was up early to feed the animals before hopping in the shower and getting ready for work. I enjoyed the cooked breakfast that grandma made, taking the sandwiches and hot flask of soup that she had made for my lunch with me.

The drive into work took about twenty minutes, the car park already filling up. Heading inside the building, I said good morning to all that I passed, receiving many good mornings back.

Stepping into my room, there were many here that had already taken a seat, the last few quickly joining us. It was at their suggestion that we met today, even though I knew in an hours time they all had more important places to be.

"Who's going to take the floor," I asked of them, this was their show after all.

Standing up, it was James and Oliver that approached.

"We just wanted to thank you" James spoke.

"Yes, thank you because without your constant kick up the backside but more importantly encouragement, I doubt some of us would pass. I took this course to help my old man out because I felt pressurised into helping out on the farm. I never wanted to work the land before but you've shown me that I can find enjoyment in what I do, pride also at what I have achieved and from what my dad said last night, made him proud. I will bust a nut to pass that exam" James spoke earning a few laughs and smiles from the rest of the class.

"We all will" Maisy replied, "Although I don't have any nuts to bust."

Her comment made me laugh as the group stood in a circle, arms around each of their shoulders as I was pulled within the group.

"To the class of 2019" was shouted around the group. "And may we long continue to be friends" Oliver added.

I thought that was it as the time for their final exam approached but no, they brought out a bunch of flowers for me. Along with that came a cup for my tea with my name engraved upon it.

Not many people wanted to take on this class as even though they all scraped through the admission stages, all coming from poor homes and gaining a full scholarship meant they were looked down upon by some.

I relished the challenge even if I was only teaching them about dirt and what goes into it, and how to feed themselves.

"Professor Lambert" I whispered, running my finger over my name on the cup. I took my own pride in that title because I too once arrived at this university with only the clothes on my back, my intelligent mind and a full scholarship and not a lot else.

**Thank you for reading, and thank you to those who had followed and favourited too. **

**Until next time when a reunion will take place. **

**Take care. **

**Caroline. **


	3. Chapter 3

CPOV

My footsteps were loud on the tiled floor, echoing all around me. This floor, this corridor, this building had been so familiar to me once upon a time, that it felt more like home than home had been.

No, that was a lie as home was more the people that I was close to than a building so why was I back here now.

I headed in the direction of the cafeteria, but as I approached something dawned on me, I was alone and there was nobody else around.

"Hello" I called out, my voice echoing as I entered the large empty room. "Hello is there anybody there," I asked, before hearing a giggle from outside. "Ana is that you."

I followed the sound of laughter, out into the schoolyard, this place also empty except for the girl sat in the branches of the old tree. Ana looked too young to be in high school but here she was.

"Christian" she called down to me as I stood below her. "Don't let me fall."

"Never," I replied, holding my arms out to her before she landed safely and I held her tightly to my chest.

"You caught me" she smiled, placing a kiss upon my cheek, her hand over my heart too.

"I will always catch you, Ana, always be there for you when you need me to be."

The atmosphere around us changed then, my reflection that I caught in the window that of me in my late teens. I was still outside but where was Ana as she was no longer in my arms. Was she hidden by the crowd of students that were now all around me? I started to walk amongst them before jumping when a heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

"You're too late," Luke said, his voice barely a whisper. "You should've told her."

"What are you talking about," I asked, ignoring the girls that we passed, desperate for attention as I continued my search for Ana.

"Ana, she's going on a date with Liam Pierce."

"What the fuck, no she's not," I said, spinning around to face him before he nodded over my shoulder.

"Apparently, she is" he replied.

I was angry, my body shaking when I saw her. Pushed up against the tree where I had held her what felt like seconds ago it was Liam's arms Ana was in, his lips pressed against hers. Running over to them, I pulled Ana away before knocking him to the ground.

"What the hell do you think you're doing" Ana shouted at me.

For a second, my steps, my words faltered as I took in the beautiful girl, no, the beautiful young woman that was standing angrily in front of me now. My words quickly came again when Ana hit me on the arm as I tried to pull her to me.

"I'M STOPPING YOU BEFORE YOU MAKE A MISTAKE."

"I'm not the one who makes mistakes Christian" she replied. "You are."

Ana quickly walked back to the cafeteria, Luke rushing behind her to keep up. As they both went inside, I turned to Liam who was being helped up from the floor as I addressed not only him but all the others who think they can touch her.

"No one and I mean no one touches Ana, DO YOU HEAR ME, NO ONE."

"Why, what's it to you Grey," Paul said to me. "So what if you live next to her, that doesn't give you a right to say who she can and can't date."

"Stay away from her" I spat at him as I knew too, he liked my girl.

"Or you'll do what," Liam asked. "You're not the only one who can have fun with girls. I'm sure eventually I can persuade Ana to go all the way."

My fist hit his nose with an enjoyable, albeit sickening crunch as they all learned what would happen to them should they try anything with Ana.

…

"She has a crush on you."

"Who does," I asked Luke. "Apart from half the school."

"Ana."

"No, she doesn't" I replied, dismissing what he said.

"All I'm saying is just be careful with her feelings Chris because if you hurt her I'll..."

"You'll what" I replied, trying to figure out if he was teasing me or not.

"Let's just say you will have a matching black eye to the one you got beating the shit out of Simon the other day."

…

I had been back wandering that corridor searching for Ana when I woke with a start as I had managed to knock my alarm clock off the bedside table with my hand and its contact with the floor was what woke me up. Placing my hand on my chest which felt like my heart was beating out of it. I tried to think back to high school to remember if any of that happened or it was just a horrible dream. Luke telling me that Ana had a crush, that was true but that was before Ana had even started high school and there was no verbal threat from him. He didn't punch me, although sometimes I wish he had done when I told him of our kiss as the pain would've been nowhere near as bad as what it felt like being told by Ray that she'd gone.

I thought staying away from Ana in the days after would be best for us both even though she was on my mind every second of the day. I was embarrassed to think that I had kissed Ana, kissed her on a night when I'd had too much to drink, not forgetting everything else I'd taken. To be able to kiss her, I'd want to remember every detail but I could barely remember my name that night and I was terrified after that my actions had ruined everything between us. I never got to tell Ana that I'd had feelings for her for a long time before that night but selfishly her friendship, her comfort, her words were what I needed more at that moment so the love I felt for her was pushed aside.

My dream, the rest, I remember warning others away from her but there was no Ana and Liam kiss, no Ana and anyone kiss except me. Was that my subconscious telling me what I already knew, that all mistakes made were my own. That despite me telling her it would never happen, I had let Ana fall.

Shakily I got out of bed, heading straight into the shower. The warm water was nice but turning it to cold, I shivered under the spray wanting it to wake me up so I could at least have some energy to start the day.

…..

"Mr Grey, Mrs Lincoln is here to see you. I have explained that you are very busy but.." Andrea announced over the intercom as I let out a frustrated groan.

Why she had chosen today of all days to visit, I don't know. If I'm honest after the nightmare this morning I'd had, I just wanted her and everyone else to go away.

"It's alright Andrea, please send her through" I replied though, knowing I would not hear the end of it if I sent her away now.

Soon enough the door opened and my mother's friend entered. She had also been a friend of myself in the past, a business partner too but not now so she must have another reason for being here.

"Christian, darling, it's lovely to see you" she spoke, approaching me as I walked around my desk to greet her, holding my hand out to shake hers instead of receiving a kiss upon my cheeks which she liked to give.

"You too Elena, please take a seat" I replied, pointing to the chair in front of my desk as I returned to my own when she had stupidly looked at and ignored my hand.

"Straight down to business, no offer of coffee, no other greeting than that" she grumbled.

"Elena, I'm very busy, now what is it that you wanted to speak to me about today."

"Your parent's ball, of course. I have some ladies that I'm sure would love to be your date for the night. With regards to a longer arrangement, I have brought information on some potential submissives for you to look over."

"Elena" I complained. "I have told you, I have no interest in that any more. I appreciate your help with regards to arranging women to accompany me to the functions that I have attended but with regards to BDSM, my days of being a Dominant are done."

"It's such a shame, Leila has returned and is eager to contract with you again. You know what an amazing submissive she was, she won't stay without a dominant for long" she replied.

"I don't care Elena."

"You were, are one of the best. If I could only match you with the perfect submissive, maybe you might change your mind." 

"ENOUGH ELENA" I shouted, losing what little bit of patience I had with this woman. "Arrange the most suitable candidate for the ball for me, make sure she's signed an NDA and send Taylor the details. With regards to anything else, take that information with you."

I knew I had angered her when she got to her feet, leaving my office and in the process, slamming the door. She left just like I knew she would, the information on available submissives, that information was immediately shredded, along with all the other papers she had left with me. Elena knew my standards so no matter her tantrum just now, I know come the day of my parent's ball, the best candidate will be waiting for me.

"Taylor can you come to my office please," I said as he answered his phone and within minutes he was with me. "What do you have."

"Nothing on an Anastasia Steele. I found a little on her mother, married eight times, each marriage besides her first two lasting less than a year. She's changed her last name so many times including to match those that she's only just dating, that we're having trouble finding out just where and who she is or with now."

"Her mother was always like that back then, had no worries about leaving a teenage girl behind" I stated, feeling immediate sadness for my girl.

Ray, I know had been close to Ana but my parents only found out after his funeral that he had passed away from cancer. Would Ana have been there, of course, she would have been as they were as close as any father and daughter could be. She may not have been his blood but he protected her as much as he could, even her heart from me. Without her mother being around, I hope to god Ana has someone else in this world other than just Katherine Kavanagh.

"The car, she left in is registered to a Rose Thewell, age 76, does the name ring a bell," he asked.

"No, do you have an address."

"Yes, it's in this very state, close to Vancouver, do you want me to send someone down."

"No, We're flying down to WSU tomorrow, we'll take the address with us, visit this woman once the university business is over. Hopefully, she can let me know where Ana is. I will let Andrea know that I might be away a little longer than planned. Ana may not even be there and if she is, she may slam the door in my face but this is the first break I've had in my search, I need to know she's ok."

When Taylor left my office, I sent a message to Luke to see where he was. Training as always as well as the usual press he had just finished.

I had met up with Luke last night, after going home to get changed out of my wet clothes first. He was just as shocked as I had been to learn there was a chance Ana was here.

"_You look stressed," he said, nodding to the bartender to get me a drink. _

"_Stressed, worried, you name it I'm feeling it at the mome__n__t as just the thought of Ana, my anxiety peaks."_

"_Why did she leave," he asked me as we moved away from the bar to find a quiet booth in the corner. I could feel his pain as he asked the question, one I had asked myself many times too._

"_I upset her" I admitted._

"_I know that, you told me about your drunken kiss but that wouldn't be reason enough to just up and leave. Maybe it wasn't you at all, remember she was_ _getting all that shit from her mum."_

"_I know, I hope you're right, I also hope I find out. Taylor and Welsh are looking for information on that car, to see if they can link it to Ana."_

_"__You will have to let me know. If you find her, I want to see her too__" __he replied._

"_I know, I just hope if she's there, she speaks to me."_

"_Christian the Ana we knew was sweet, kind, caring and protective of those that she cared about. I know it's been ten years but I don't think she __would've lost any of those traits."_

"_I agree, she had all that and more. Ana dealt with so much of our shit back in high school though, got so much crap from girls we left behind when they found out outside of school, that she was the only girl that we allowed to come close."_

"_Boo's one in a million, a billion," he said before knocking back his drink as I placed my now empty glass down beside his. Calling the bartender over to __re__fill_ _the__m__, as my __filled __glass clinked his, __a toast to our absent best friend,__ I could do nothing but agree._

….

The flight down to Vancouver on Friday afternoon was smooth, the sun finally reappearing after the rain as we landing safely not far from the campus. A car had been arranged for us here, one that would not only take us to the university where we were heading to now, but will also be with us for the duration of our stay.

It had been nearly three years since I had been here, having others to visit in my place. I'd been happy signing the cheques, happy reading the results they had sent, today though I hoped to see the results of the work they had done first hand.

Stepping into the university, I knew which direction I was heading in so I quickly declined the giggling female students offers to be my guide. Standing in front of the startled assistant of the Dean soon after, I asked her to announce my presence.

Only moments it was before the door opened, the Dean making sure his suit, his tie was on straight. I didn't really care if he emerged in his pyjamas, I was here to see the project that I was investing in, not him.

"Mr Grey, how wonderful to see you. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow" he spoke quickly as I shook his hand.

"I decided, as I was arriving today anyway to come early and see for myself the results of the project I'm funding."

"Of course, please, if you would like to follow me, I'm sure if Professor Richards is not in his office, then Professor Lambert will be able to show you the amazing results they have achieved down there."

I had spoken to Professor Richards many times in the past, this Professor Lambert though was new to me. We crossed the campus towards the buildings that held the agricultural and horticultural departments. Here we met up with Professor Richards who unlike the Dean, didn't seem flustered at all about my early arrival.

He spoke excitedly about the project, showing me many different papers on the results they had received from rejuvenated soil samples to crops that had started to grow in environments that would have once been barren to them.

"This latest part, the credit has to go to Professor Lambert, her determination to make sure that no matter what environment we live in, that something should be able to grow knows no bounds."

"Her" I spoke, knowing from my last visit here that it had been an all-male staff.

"Yes, she came here as a student many years ago before returning to us to teach what, it must be nearly three years ago now, not long after your last visit."

"I look forward to meeting her then, especially if her enthusiasm for this project is as much as yours."

Leaving the offices, we made our way toward the greenhouses, some which were occupied because even though the school year was coming to an end, all things grown inside still needed to be looked after.

"Professor Fielding is Professor Lambert about," Richards asked an elderly man I had seen before.

"Yes, she was in the far greenhouse tending to one of the banana plants when I saw her about ten minutes ago, you can guarantee she will still be there" he smiled.

"Thank you" he replied as we walked through the tunnels of glass as I removed my jacket on the way. Taylor who had been with me throughout the day opted to stay outside of the hothouse on this already warm day.

Entering the furthest greenhouse, I couldn't see anyone around, then again there were many trees, plants inside here blocking my view of most of the glasshouse. Most belonged in hotter climates, from different countries around the world.

We could hear someone moving about at the other end of the greenhouse and with a smile on his face, Richards led us that way.

"Always knee-deep in the dirt," he said as a woman's back came into view, her head and shoulders hidden under the giant leaves of the plants closest to the one she was working on.

"You know me" she replied, abandoning what she was doing, as she got up from the floor and turned around, the smile she wore, quickly falling from her face.

"Ana."

"Christian."

"You know each other" Richards asked but neither of us answered him as we took in the other. It was Ana who eventually spoke as seeing her here, all other words seemed to have left me.

"We went to high school together. It's good to see you, Christian," she said, holding her hand out for me to shake before she remembered they were full of mud. As she went to pull her hand back, my own shot out to meet hers and I gripped onto it tightly. High school, I knew Ana from more than just within those walls. She said no more to him about it though and neither did I.

It was seconds, although it felt like hours that I held her hand before she managed to tug it away. I tried to focus on Richards then as he informed Ana that I was the donor for this project and then spoke about Ana's accomplishments here, telling me all that she'd done. I wanted to hear it from her but she was as silent as me at the moment.

"Professor Richards, there is a phone call for you" a young woman called out, getting his attention.

"If you would both excuse me, I will return shortly." 

"There's no rush, I'm sure Ana can show me around," I told him.

"If that's alright with you Ana," he asked, receiving a nod of her head and a nervous smile.

When Richards left, Ana turned her back on me for a moment as she picked up the tools she had been working with. With them in her hands, she must think that I can no longer hold hers.

"We've been working on enriching the soil samples that we've taken on our trips, learning what grows best in each, and what takes the nutrients out of it."

"Why did you leave," I asked, not really caring about soil at the moment.

"Our last trip was to Africa" she continued as if I had not just asked her the question I did but I would have none of that.

"Ana, why did you go," I asked, standing in front of her now.

"I had to" was her reply and that wasn't good enough for me.

"Had to, no you didn't."

"Look, Christian, life was complicated back then. School had become hell and with what happened between you and me, I needed a break. She was pressurizing me to go and join her. I needed to get away, for me, so I did just that."

"You left without saying goodbye to Luke or me, you just upped and left without even leaving a number so we could know you were ok. After all, we went through together, we're we, I, that forgettable that you didn't even think to look back" I asked angrily. 

"I was" she replied, confusing me with her answer. "Look, Christian, I can't change the past and neither can you. Just know that for the first time in my life, I selfishly put myself first. I did think about you and Luke often, followed both of your careers. To go back there though was too painful for me."

"Painful how," I asked, taking her hand again which caused the tools she was holding to fall to the floor.

"It doesn't matter now," she said sadly.

"You were my best friend" I whispered.

"I know but being your friend back then wasn't always easy."

"I'm sorry" I spoke, reaching my hand up to brush a tear away that had fallen onto her cheek.

"It's done, we've both moved on" she spoke, taking a step back from me and picked the tools up from the floor. "We're both different people now Christian, both grown up, well I have anyway, I'm not sure with the way you and Luke were if you would ever grow up," she said trying to lighten the mood.

"We've grown up in the real world, in our world though of joking and winding each other up, you're right, we're still the same."

"I'm happy for you Christian. I only ever wanted to see you happy, Luke too."

"Did Ana go through our progress with you?" Richards asks joining us again as Ana turned her back on us for a moment to wipe any remaining tears away.

"Yes," I replied. "I'm very pleased with the results and would like to sponsor the department for the next five years."

"Oh, Mr Grey, that's wonderful to hear, isn't it Ana," he said.

"It is, we've come so far with what we've learnt here but still have so far to go" she replied quietly.

"I will leave you now and go and check into the hotel. Ana if you're not too busy, could you please show me out of this glass maze."

"Of course" she spoke, joining me at my side.

As we left Richards behind, there were two questions amongst the hundreds I had running around my head that I wanted to ask. Both seemed easier than the others, both might just get me the chance to see her tomorrow if she is going to be here.

"Lambert, why that name, Professor," I asked as she led us through the greenhouses and towards the exit in the distance.

"It was my birth fathers surname. My mother, well if you can call her that, she moved from husband to husband, man to man and for a while, I tagged along but with each new one came a new name she wanted to call us. I'd had enough by number six, three also when they started to pay more attention to me than her" she said which sent a chill down my spine that someone would try and touch her. "After we'd moved in with six, I'd had enough and left. I'd already applied to come here, many others too which were far across the country from where she was. Being offered a full scholarship, I didn't look back, not to my life with her anyway. My birth family on my father's side, I had been told by her were all gone. That was a lie, my grandmother was still alive."

"Rose Thewell."

"Yes, she's an amazing woman who welcomed me into her life and home with open arms. Being with her, I found the real me."

"Why agricultural, why not computers, literature, I remember you and Luke had a love of books," I asked as we reached the door of the greenhouse and stepped outside into the sunshine.

"I had a friend once who had often gone hungry in the early years of his life and although he was hungry through neglect more than lack of available food, it made me want to do something."

"You did all this because of me," I asked, stunned.

"You were my start, anyone who is helped either here or abroad due to the work we're doing, they're the future."

I wanted nothing more than to hug her at the moment but as she took a step back to get out of the sun which was sparkling against the glass, as Taylor opened the door of the car he had brought over, I knew our time was up.

"Will you be here tomorrow?" I asked Ana.

"Of course, with my students, we have a lot of celebrating to do."

I nodded, taking a deep breath as I willed my legs to move away from her. As I approached Taylor and the open door, it was him who spoke.

"Are we going straight to the hotel or as it's still early, would you like to try that address now?" he asked.

"There's no need, I know exactly where Ana is and where she will be tomorrow," I said, looking back towards the door of the greenhouse where Ana stood waiting for us to leave.

**Thank you for reading. **

**While looking at the campus map at WSU Vancouver, I couldn't see any greenhouses, only at WSU Pullman so you will have to imagine them there if you have been lucky enough to visit any of these places. Maybe there are some at Vancouver, I just couldn't see them.**

**I have been asked about a posting schedule. I'm hoping to post Monday and Friday as I have done before. Although most of the chapters are written with only the last few yet to do, I still need to edit them and that can take longer than writing the chapter in the first place so twice a week it is. **

**Until Friday then, take care**

**Caroline**


	4. Chapter 4

APOV

I don't know who was more nervous, the students who were about to graduate and hopefully go on and have successful careers or me. I was nervous for another reason entirely though and that was because at some point today, Christian would be here again.

"I don't know what you said to Mr Grey yesterday but please continue to encourage him to sponsor more of our University" The Dean spoke aloud to me in the staff room, gaining everyone's attention.

"I didn't do anything except show him the work we've been doing here," I replied, embarrassed by the attention.

"He must have been very impressed then, plus Professor Richards said you knew Mr Grey personally" he replied as Michael Richards started to protest as the Dean had obviously twisted what he'd said.

"We grew up in the same town and went to school together. Before yesterday, I hadn't seen Christian in ten years" I spoke aloud so all could hear, putting the point across that I hadn't done anything special to get the money the department earned.

"Maybe you could put a good word in for us then," the football coach said who had gatecrashed what was supposed to be a quiet department meeting in search of the Dean. "I'm sure we could all do with new uniforms."

"The sports department gets the lions share of funds" Professor Fielding spoke up and soon everyone was talking over the other as to who deserves the highest percentage of the budget more.

Not wanting to be a part of this, I got the nod from Michael that the meeting was over so I took my tea and left the building, making my way across the campus, to enjoy the peace of the greenhouses.

It was here where I was found an hour later as I was informed all family were being seated and soon the ceremony would begin.

I entered the auditorium where the graduation ceremony was taking place, speaking quietly to some of my soon to be former students as I passed to find my seat.

When the Dean came onto the stage he wasn't alone as certain faculty members were with him and our guest speaker, Christian Grey.

Listening to the introductions, I was on my feet, as were many others when it was one of my students, Marcus who gave the valedictions speech. I was so proud of him, brushing a tear away when he spoke about opportunities going forward and to build on those that had passed.

When he introduced Christian, I was not the only one who was silent in the room when he started to speak.

"Thank you for bestowing upon me the honour this day, to be a part of the start of your future," he said, sending unwanted butterflies around my stomach.

Listening to him speak about being happy to have the opportunity to sponsor the work we were doing here to help feed the poor, that he had once been that hungry child made me want to hold him as I had done many years before.

I couldn't though. Christian was a dangerous person to be around when feelings were involved and I know I couldn't handle being hurt by him again.

I watched as the class of 2019 walked across the stage, I cheered each one of them on, cheering especially loud when it was one of my own students. As the last person received their diploma and the Dean once again took to the stage, caps were thrown into the air before we all covered our heads when they came back down.

"I'm prepared this year" old Mrs Peacock spoke, as I turned around to her and let out a loud laugh. She had a football helmet upon her head, prepared as always for whatever came next.

"Mrs Peacock, are you trying out," James asked, making her laugh as he helped remove it from her head. Mrs Peacock works in student services and was always a friendly face I could speak to when I had attended here myself. I dread to think of the days when she will be here no more because as she says she's been here so long, she's like part of the furniture now.

"Not this year, maybe next" she replied, taking his offered arm as the auditorium started to clear out. The stage was clear also now, so I decided to follow the crowd.

I was outside, approaching the refreshment tent that had been set up when I heard my name shouted. Turning around, I didn't really need to look to see who it was as I would know his voice anywhere. As Christian approached at speed he was not alone as he was accompanied by the man who I had seen him with yesterday.

"Hello Christian, I enjoyed your speech."

"Thank you, I had a lot of inspiration when writing it. Are you going in" he asked, nodding to the tent.

"Yes, I'm looking forward to getting a drink."

Together we entered the tent, ignoring any looks or comments aimed our way. Making our way towards the refreshments, I took an orange juice, ignoring the wine as I needed to drive home.

"You live close to here," he said.

"Why does that sound like a statement and not a question," I asked, seeing a sheepish smile.

"The car, the one you were driving. My staff were able to find out who it was registered to and the address."

"Rose Thewell" I stated, knowing he'd had to have found my grandmothers name out from somewhere. He had mentioned it yesterday and at the time, I had been so nervous at seeing him again, it didn't register to me to ask how he knew her name.

"Yes."

"Is that legal?" I asked him. "I mean, I can understand the police looking for the details if I had run a red light."

"I was desperate" he admitted.

"What, why, I don't understand."

"Ana," he said, taking my hand and led me out of the noisy tent. "You were gone, I had no clue where to look for you. When I saw Kavanagh."

"Kate."

"Yes, Kate, Katherine Kavanagh, rude is what I call her. When I saw her get into the car and saw only a glimpse of you, at that moment I was unsure whether it was really you and I was not just seeing things. For the first time in years though, it was a glimpse more than I'd had so I did what I could to find out for certain if it was you. Your address, I was going to go there last night, or once the ceremony was over, hoping to find you there. I never expected to find you here."

"This is my home, my real home. I stopped running and hiding the day I found my real family, my grandmother."

"Mr Grey, could I please have a photo," one of the guest photographers asked who had been hired to take photos of the graduates and their families.

"Of course" he replied.

As I went to step away from Christian he wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me back, before tucking me close into his side.

I was about to protest when we were told to smile by the photographer who then happily went on his way.

"Christian you didn't have to do that" I complained.

"What, have a photo taken with a friend of mine."

"Really, you think that is what anyone who sees that photo will say, that we're just friends."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I should've asked, it was a split-second decision… Look can we talk, somewhere away from all this noise?" he asked.

"Later, believe it or not, I'm working at the moment."

"I can wait" he replied, smiling for the first time.

We were joined then by some of my students, although really they weren't my students any more.

"Do we still have to call you Professor," Scott asked.

"No, I'm sure it will be fine if you call me Ana now" I replied, seeing a smile come on the groups face, Christian's too.

"Well, Ana," Scott said, "As you are no longer my teacher, how about you join me for dinner tonight," he said, making everyone laugh, everyone except Christian who didn't see the funny side of it.

"Sorry Scott, I have a very strict rule, not to date staff or students and that includes ex-students too."

"Damn and I've been waiting all year to ask you" he teased, making me smile.

"I'm sure there is a nice young lady around here who would jump at the chance of having dinner with you, one who has probably been waiting all year too for you to ask her."

"Who," he asked, completely oblivious to Lisa who has been trying to get his attention all year.

Putting on the charm, I watched as Scott soon walked away with Lisa on his arm.

"Men, they're a breed all of their own" I mumbled, not realising Christian had heard me.

"Why do you say that."

"Just an observation" I stated, knowing all too well that I had seen Christian charm the girls in school on more than one occasion.

He didn't say anything, probably knowing where my thoughts had gone.

Moving back into the refreshments tent, I spoke to some of my now past students, their parents as well. I think by the time the party was starting to break up, I had spoken to all of them, some more than once as I passed.

I hadn't seen Christian for a while as he too had been swallowed up in the crowd, probably being bored by the Dean and other faculty members who I know would be keen to be sponsored too. Stepping out of the tent when my phone started to ring, I was surprised when it was my neighbour Robert's number which showed up on the screen.

"Hello, Robert," I said, not able to disguise the surprise in my voice. He had only called my number once before and that was after being asked by grandma to inform me the baby alpaca's were here. Now the tone of his voice was not celebratory as before.

"Ana, you need to come home, or at least meet us at the hospital."

"Stop fussing" I heard grandma call out in the background.

"Robert, what's going on," I asked, my walk already turning into a run as I headed in the direction of my car.

"Your grandmothers has a fall, she's got a nice lump on her forehead and is complaining that her hand hurts. I found her in the barn surrounded by alpacas. They were making a racket so I came over to see what was wrong."

"I'm on my way Robert" I spoke, calling Jill Martin over, a fellow professor here. "Where do you want me to meet you."

"The hospital, her ride has just arrived."

"I'm on my way" I spoke before ending the call. "Jill, can you please tell Michael that I had to go."

"God Ana you're shaking, are you ok."

"My grandmother's had an accident, a fall is all I know of at the moment. I need to go and see that she's alright."

"Go, I will let him know."

"Thank you" I replied, opening the car door before I got inside. "Jill" I called out as she turned back to me. "Do you know who Christian Grey is?" I asked.

"Of course, that sexy man who practically every female in the auditorium was drooling over, a few men too" she smiled.

"Yes, the very one…. Tell him I'm sorry and that I had to go."

I was thankful that she didn't question me further because I needed to leave now.

Taking off towards the hospital, it didn't take long to get there and I found the first available space I could.

"Rose Thewell," I said upon entering the reception area.

"One moment please," she said, looking on the computer before letting me know that she wasn't here.

"I've just had a call from my neighbour to inform me my grandmother's had a fall and she was being brought in here. She has to be here somewhere, the place isn't that big."

"Miss, let me check emergency admissions."

Upon checking that, I was told my grandmother had arrived only moments ago. She was being assessed and I wasn't going to let her go through that on her own. Following the instructions the woman gave to me, I found myself outside of the cubicle and I failed to hide the smile as I heard my grandmother inside, ordering everyone around.

"Do as you're told young lady, especially when it comes to your health you always told me. That goes for older ladies too" I spoke, entering the cubicle.

"Young ladies can enter as long as tears for the elderly are left at the door" she replied.

"For once then, I will be a rebel" I spoke, placing a kiss upon my grandmothers head.

"I'm having Deja-vu," Robert stated.

"How so," I asked him, taking my grandmother's hand in mine once I had looked at the bump she had on her head.

"It's like Frankie's here, he was fiercely protective of you too."

"She is her father's daughter," Grandma said, a smile filling her face.

"I am" I agreed, proudly.

My grandmother's hand was assessed the bump on her head too. She said she hadn't passed out from the fall, she only felt a little nauseous but that was from the pain in her hand, not her head. Upon receiving the x-ray, a small fracture to her middle finger was found.

"I could start up boxing," Grandma told me as I pushed her in the wheelchair towards the reception area and exit beyond. "I have the start of a glove."

"I think you've had more than enough excitement for one day," I told her before we both turned our heads when my name was called.

"Christian," I said, shocked to see him sat here in the near-empty waiting room with the man I had seen before. "What are you doing here."

"Waiting for you. I was speaking to Professor Richards when a woman came over to inform him that you had left and the reason why. She also gave me your message too. We went to your house but it was obvious once we arrived that you weren't there so came here."

"You didn't have to."

"Of course he did, he came to see me" Grandma interrupted, holding out her uninjured hand to him. "Rose Thewell and you young man are," she asked, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Christian Grey, ma'am, its a pleasure to meet you, I'm sorry it's under these circumstances though" Christian replied as he shook her hand gently before bringing it back to his side.

"Christian Grey, mmmm," she said, looking to me and then back to him. She knew exactly who he was before he had given his name so I implored her not to say anything to him. She smiled and replied that it was good to meet him and the man I now knew as Taylor too.

"Come on grandma, let's get you home and settled," I said, getting ready to say goodbye to Christian. I wasn't surprised when they followed us out though and helped grandma get settled in the car.

"We'll follow and make sure you get back ok."

"There's no need Christian, I've driven these roads a thousand times."

"Humour me," he said before leaving to get in his car as I frustratedly got into mine.

Leaving the hospital behind us, I could see the lights of their car following behind. Seeing that it was now close to ten at night, with grandma being checked over, x-rays, and everything else they wanted to be certain she was fine of when the stubborn woman refused to stay in there, the time had gotten away from us.

"I need to check on the animals," Grandma said, her voice making me jump in the quiet of the car as I had been completely lost in thought.

"I'm going to sit you down with a nice cup of tea while I deal with the animals and once I'm back, I will put you to bed. Once there you're going to have the pain medication that was given to you."

"When did you become so bossy," she asked.

"The second the only family I have got hurt."

"I'll be fine sweetheart, I'm as tough as old boots and have no plans for slowing down yet."

"I'm glad but for tonight, please take it easy and let me deal with everything."

Seeing a nod of her head, I finally relaxed as I stopped in front of the house, only for my anxiety to peak once again as the car pulled up behind us.

I helped grandma inside, surprised actually that she had not asked about Christian on the way. She knew who he was, we had spoken about growing up in Montesano and every other place I had moved too and all those I had met upon the way. I had no secrets from this woman but I knew as I stepped out of the house to tend to the animals with Christian not far behind, that the questions from her would come at some point.

"Where are we going," he asked as we headed across the yard to the stables, the barn and the buildings beyond.

"I have a few things to do, I would suggest you head back otherwise your clothes and shoes will be ruined."

"Ana, I don't care about shoes, I was hoping we could speak after the ceremony."

"I was hoping we could too Christian but it's getting late and I have to tend to these first."

"These?" he questioned before stepping back from the fence that I had just climbed before I'd jumped down into the field beyond. The reason for his caution surrounded me now.

"You have camels," he asked, his shocked words making me laugh.

"No, they're alpaca's" I replied, getting bopped on the side of my head by Barnard's nose. "This is Barnard and here also are Flopsy, Mopsy and Cotton, or Cotton-tail."

"If I remember correctly, those are the name of rabbits," he said, coming closer to the fence now.

"They were originally, now they're the name of Barnard's harem, his girls" I called out as I led them over to the barn where they would shelter for the night.

Christian had walked around the edge of the fence, keeping up with us, the mud covering his shoes and the bottom of his trousers now. He didn't pay them any attention though as Mopsy let him touch her head.

"Did you say harem?" he asked as if just realising what I had said.

"Yes, Barnard is the only male. Flopsy and Cotton are both pregnant."

"I would say lucky man but that just sounds like a headache."

I didn't reply as I made sure they were all locked up for the night and checked the chickens and other animals as well. It wouldn't do to wake in the morning to find the vegetables eaten or trampled on or one of the animals to have been hurt by a wild visitor in the night. Only once everything was safe and secure, did we start to walk back to the house.

"Ana" Christian said, reaching for my hand as he stopped us in the middle of the yard. Turning me to face him, he reached out his hand to touch my cheek.

It was instinct as I flinched away from his hand stepping back from him. I knew I had hurt him with my actions but to protect my heart, I couldn't let him in.

"Please don't" I whispered.

"Why won't you let me close to you. We used to cuddle up on Ray's back porch under the blanket, we'd even slept out there on many occasions, Luke too. Did someone hurt you?"

"Many people in the past, some I hated, others I cared about and their pain hurt more than any other. I've had to build a new life for myself, leave those behind that want to hurt me" build a wall around my heart.

"Ma'am, my apologies for interrupting but Mrs Thewell is asking for you," Taylor said, leaving the house.

"Thank you," I said, before turning to Christian. "Friendship is all I can offer you Christian but friendship with a guarded heart. Please don't ask me for more because I can't go back to the way we were before."

With that, I placed a kiss upon his cheek with the whispered words of "Be happy" as well. As I entered the house, about to close the door, I watched Christian head over to his car, the sadness on his face mirroring mine.

"Ana" I heard behind me.

"I'm here grandma, is it the pain," I asked, reaching for her medication once I had closed the door, hearing the car depart.

"No, I need to pee."

With a giggle, I helped grandma up the stairs and into the bathroom before putting her to bed. As she lay there waiting for her medicine to take effect, she spoke to me.

"Do you know the first time I met you, it wasn't just that you looked like my son that I knew you were my family, it was also that you share my Frankie's heart. I can see your heart is hurting now, do you want to tell this old woman why."

"I miss my friends, miss the ease at the way we used to be able to talk when it was just us two, even us three. I want that back but so much has changed."

"Did he say anything about that night?" she asked.

"No nothing, not one word apart from asking if someone had hurt me. I wanted to shout, YES YOU."

"But you didn't" she stated, knowing me very well.

"No."

"You should've done. Laid it all out on the table, tell him exactly how he made you feel. Only then will you both know where you go from here."

"It was easier when he didn't know where I was, I keep expecting Luke to appear too."

"Would that be bad?" she asked as I shook my head.

"No, he gave the best hugs too...You saw the Christian I know, you've also seen the other side of him, you were commenting on him in that rag you read only weeks ago. There were always two sides to the both of them, the calm and the storm. I've seen both and believe me, seeing the masks slip in place, the act of them both needing to fit in coming at the cost of those around them, the storm is not a nice place to be."

"If you see them again, as I've told you before, give them a clip round the ear from me and tell them to grow up and sort their shit out."

"Grandma, language" I laughed.

"Didn't say anything, these tablets must be affecting your ears" she spoke, some of her words slurring as the tablets finally started to take effect.

She will be ruling the world again come morning, keeping her troupe of animals in line. Until then, the old lady can sleep because the sun will be up soon enough.

Leaving grandma to sleep, I headed to my room once I had checked the house was locked up, looking in on her again on my way. I had just gotten into bed when my phone started to ring. I was quick to answer it, not wanting to wake grandma up, although I don't think anything will wake her now.

"Kate, it's nearly midnight, you don't normally ring at this hour."

"I know but it's important," she told me.

"What's is it," I asked.

"A few things, one you should know that you will be on the front cover of The Times come morning, our paper and a few others too and two, I need to tell you a little detail I've just found out about the ball we spoke about at dinner the other night."

"Hold on, why the hell would I be on the front of The Seattle Times or any other paper," I asked.

"Pictures were taken of you and Christian together at the graduation ceremony. Even though other pictures are being published, with him being there and you both standing as close as you are, ridiculously it makes the front pages."

"Wonderful, yet again I become one of the masses" I groaned.

"What do you mean," she asked.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter. Your dad's paper, what did he say seeing me with Christian."

"I told him before he could jump to any conclusions that you were in high school together and it was the first time you'd seen him since then. I didn't tell him anything more than that Ana, I would never betray your trust like that."

"I know Kate, now what did you need to tell me about the ball."

"Dad only told me tonight, it's being hosted by the Greys at their home."

At her comment I flopped back against my pillows, my groan heard by us both. Could my life get any more complicated, I should say no, that I doubt it with what I've already been through but this is me and nothing has ever been easy and I don't expect that to change now.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Things come to a head next chapter as the truth about that night is finally revealed, truth Christian finds painful in more ways than one.**

**Until then, take care**

**Caroline.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, I don't normally give out a tissue warning but this chapter I felt needed one. Maybe it's just me but I found this hard to write.**

CPOV

My mind has been on Ana and nothing else over the past week, causing many especially when I'm at work to question what was wrong with me.

I wanted to go back to where she lived, demand that she speak to me but I also wanted the friendship that Ana had offered and know that should I go back there now with the mood I've been in all week, that offer would be quickly taken away.

The photo that had appeared in the papers the day after the graduation ceremony had quickly come with a statement from my company stating that the woman I appeared with had been a friend from school. Of course, more questions were asked but they received no answers from me. The only question answered was one asked to Luke to which he confirmed she was a friend of his too.

He had studied the picture closely of Ana and me, taking in how she looked now. He had even driven over there, telling me that he would camp outside her home if that was what he had to do so she would speak to him.

They had talked a little, more than a little, a lot more than we did only for him to return with red eyes and the same offer that I received of friendship.

"Mr Grey, Miss Lily Evans is downstairs in the foyer asking for permission to come up," Taylor told me.

"Who, I don't know anyone by that name" I replied.

"Miss Evans is the lady who will be accompanying you to your parent's ball this evening. Her details were sent over from Mrs Lincoln and all checks came back clean."

"Shit, I'd forgotten" I replied. "Give her my apologies, a tip and send her on her way please," I said, seeing his nod in the mirror.

Only seconds after he had left my dressing room did I realised what I'd said, before calling him back, my mind fighting with myself to send him away again.

"Are there any other instructions you want me to give to her?" he asked. 

"Yes, to wait downstairs" I replied, seeing the knowing look on his face that I would not turn up to an event like this on my own.

I needed to get through this night for my parent's sake, needed to be the person everyone knew me to be so I let the mask of the man I had begun to hate fall into place, hiding yet again the real me

…

Leaving Escala behind, I wished I had left this woman behind also as her excited chatter grated on my nerves.

"Lily, this is a high-class event we are going to. Please curb your excitement and blend in. Taylor has gone over what is expected of you this evening."

"Yes, Mr Grey."

"Christian. If you are to be my date for this evening, that is the name you should use, but only when necessary. If anyone should ask where we met, just state through a mutual friend."

I don't know why I was telling her this as my family will see through any lies that I tell. They know that I would not turn up alone so will be expecting me to bring a guest.

The drive was quiet now, my warnings of how to behave no doubt going around in her head. Mine though was filled with the woman I really wanted to be here. What would Ana say upon seeing the photos of this evening with this woman by my side, would she comment, would she even care. I'd like to think that Ana cared for me, loved me as I did her even after all these absent years but with the few stolen moments we had spent together, I just didn't know any more.

Upon reaching my parents home, we walked through the throng of press before posing for photographs at the door. Lily stood by my side smiling for the camera and unlike the photo where I had held Ana close, there was no contact between us. Once inside the marquee, we found our seats before I excused myself and headed over to the bar.

"One of these days" I heard behind me the knowing tone of disapproval in my sister's voice.

"I came didn't I" I replied, downing my first drink.

"Of course you did. Would you rather face our mother's wrath?... Starting on the hard stuff as soon as you enter the marquee, doesn't exactly give the impression that you're happy to be here though."

"I am happy to be here Mia. I get to spend an evening with my family, eat delicious food and drink copious amounts of wine and whisky. My date, her job for the evening is already done the second we entered the marquee."

"Send her away then" she taunted, knowing that would be the last thing I would do.

There were a lot of famous, influential people here tonight and despite me being the richest man in the room, I had an image to upkeep.

"Are you two bickering again" We heard behind us as I turned to my friend, smiling.

"We never bicker" I spoke, pulling my sister closer to me before she poked me in the side when I went to mess up her hair.

"Don't you dare" she complained, pushing away from me. "Lovely to see you, Luke," Mia said, receiving a kiss to her cheek. "No date."

"No, I came on my own" he declared.

"You did, maybe you could convince my brother to start doing the same."

With that, she left us to it as I grabbed two glasses of Champagne as Luke and I made our way back to the table where the young woman I brought was now speaking to my mother.

"And here he is now," my mother said, as I kissed her cheek once I had placed the glasses down on the table. "You shouldn't leave your date alone for too long son, someone else might steal her from you" mother teased.

I wish someone would as Lily tried and failed to play the loving girlfriend as she sipped her drink.

…

The marquee was filling quickly, my groan thankfully heard only by Mia when the Kavanagh's approached. If Eamon starts speaking about business this evening then I will be getting them moved from their table next to ours.

Luke had escaped from our table or was that from the old woman who was on the table closest, one who kept calling him Alfred and touching his leg. My mother said she's losing her eyesight and deaf as a post, personally, I think she's an old perv who just wants to cop a feel.

"Good evening, this is just beautiful," Mrs Kavanagh said to my mother, making her smile.

The marquee was exquisite as always and a comment like that coming from an interior designer, my mother replied that she was proud at what she'd achieved.

"Will there be only the two of you this evening," my father asked, shaking their hands.

"No, Katherine is here" Eamon replied.

"Don't forget about Ana too?" Katherine Kavanagh added, coming over to join our group, her comment halting my drink just as it reached my lips.

"Yes, my daughter was supposed to bring a nice young man" her father complained.

"But I decided to bring my best friend, a much better choice."

"I would have to agree," Mrs Kavanagh said.

I had drowned out what they were saying, especially the looks from Katherine when she said Ana's name. Instead, I looked for her, unable to find her for a few moments before I spotted her wrapped up tightly in Luke's arms.

"Son, did you hear what I said," my mother asked touching my arm before her focus and all others went to where mine was. "Oh my goodness, is that" she spoke, her hand coming to her mouth as she recognised the woman who along with Luke, nervously approached.

I had seen him hold her, seen them chatting away before they started to come over. Why can't she talk to me like that, what the hell besides kissing her did I do wrong?

"That's Anastasia Steele" my father spoke as surprised as my mother that she was here. Both of them turned to me, I knew it as I could feel their eyes upon my face. My own eyes were on the beauty that was now stood in front of me with our best friend by her side.

"Look who I found," Luke said excitedly to our group.

"My my, Anastasia, what a beauty you grew into" my mother spoke, reaching out to take Ana's hand, probably to check she was here before her.

"Thank you, Mrs Grey."

"Grace please, I was never Mrs Grey to you back in Montesano and I won't be that to you now."

"Grace" she smiled before looking at my father. "Carrick" she spoke receiving a nod and a smile.

"Ana" Mia smiled, as she stood by Elliot's side, both of them looking at her. They both knew just like Luke how hard I took her leaving us, they just like my parents knew what her mother was like, my own mother having many arguments with her at the way she treated her daughter. Pressure from Carla is the reason they put it down to as to why she left back then, so they were all just happy that she'd returned.

"It's good to see you, Mia, Elliot, it's good to see all of you" Ana spoke looking to me before her focus went to the woman who now stood beside me and gripped onto my arm.

"I'm Lily Evans, Christian's… friend," she said, holding her hand out for Ana to shake. She had seen the way I had been looking at Ana and was probably thinking she could get one over on my girl. That idea I could see was quickly extinguished with Ana's next few words.

"Professor Anastasia Lambert, it's nice to meet you."

"Professor" Lily stuttered.

"Yes, I teach as part of the agricultural science department at Washington State University."

"Agriculture, is that really a thing for a girl to be doing" we all heard as Elena this time joined our group, probably backing up my date who seemed to be lost for words.

"Yes, it is something I enjoy and do well. Women can farm the land just as well as men can, my grandmother is proof of that."

"That's not for me, I would never get the dirt from under my nails," Lily said, showing the nails as fake as the rest of her.

Ana herself put her hands forward, nails perfectly shaped and natural and not a chip in sight.

"The dirt as you call it doesn't bother me, soil, dirt it's an amazing thing. I can guarantee your plate would be empty tonight without it."

"How so," Mia asked, putting her arm through Ana's showing that she was standing by her old friend.

Mia is about five years younger than Ana and although they never hung out together as we did, they always got on. When Ana left, my little sister didn't say anything to me but I know she knew the reason wasn't just Carla as she had heard my conversation with Luke about the kiss. With Ana here now, tonight I'm going to find out why she keeps pushing me away and not Luke and I want the truth because this has to be about more than just that kiss.

I still stood as Mia took a seat at the table next to ours as Ana explained to her what her work was about. She was not the only one hanging onto every word besides myself, Luke and my parents were too.

"You were always outside in the garden with Ray, knee-deep the in the mud. I should've expected for you to find a job doing something like that," mum said to her.

"Too many people are going hungry in this world, I just wanted to do something that would help feed them," Ana told her.

"Fish" Lily spoke up, gaining everyone's attention as we wondered what the hell she was going on about. She wanted to put her two pence worth in, telling Ana that the food grown in the ground, the cattle that graze upon it, none of that is needed for fish.

"Not directly but the concept is just the same" Ana replied. "Just like with the nutrients in the land, if you take too much out without putting anything back, eventually nothing will grow. With the ocean, if too many fish are caught, too many species become rare, extinct eventually there will be nothing left to catch. There has to be a balance in everything,… sorry, I'm boring you now" she said, embarrassed that she had the attention of some at other tables as well as ours.

"No, you're not. You're just passionate about your work" Luke said with a beaming smile upon his face.

"I am because at the end of the day we have to eat something, we can't just live on air."

As the marquee started to fill up, I tried to get a word alone with Ana. I should've known it would be useless as they were all keen to speak to her, Luke especially. He told her he was still mad at her for leaving, her answer of her having to didn't wash with him either.

He left it at that, hoping she would tell him one day whereas I was desperate for those answers now.

"First dance auction, Ana, Kate you have to join in," Mia said, excitedly pulling on their hands when the plates were all cleared away.

"What is that," Ana asked her.

"You get to auction your first dance for the charity."

"Mia, I don't dance" Ana complained.

"I beg to differ" I spoke up. "I remember you doing the cha-cha slide in your socks in the kitchen."

"I remember that" Luke laughed.

"Yes, so do I" Ana grumbled. "I remember turning around to see two ridiculous faces mashed up against the glass, scared the crap out of me."

"Good, you can dance," Mia said pulling Ana to her feet.

"What about me," Lily asked.

I watched as Mia looked between Lily and me, Kate and Ana doing the same thing too.

"Sorry, single ladies only. It seems you have a date" Mia replied before she turned away from us, pulling Ana and Kate behind her.

"Yes I have a date but he's paid no attention to me" I heard Lily say.

"Remember you are being paid to be here, paid to smile and be nice to all the others. If you want to get up and dance, do it on your own time" I angrily told her.

"Fine, if I'm here as your date, then I don't have to worry about you bidding on others, I hope they get some greasy older men."

With that she sat down with her arms folded, sulking like a toddler. She was right, a normal man would sit here with his date and not look at any of the others, me thought with the reputation that I have outside of this family it meant my date if that is was you could call her was sent on her way and I stood up with the others ready to bid.

"Did you ditch the dumb bitch?" Elliot asked me as I joined him and Luke.

"Yes, she was a mistake, one that should not have happened. Who are you bidding on?" I asked him.

"Kate." 

"Do you have a death wish?" I asked.

"What, she's nice."

"If you class nice as swimming with the sharks and waiting for them to bite, then go ahead."

"Don't worry, I will" he told me, stepping forward as the bidding for Kate begun.

"You going for Ana," Luke asked me, knowing that I wanted to say yes. Instead, I told him to bid on Ana and I would make sure that none of these men who had stood up to bid got to dance with my sister.

"Swap, halfway," he said as the bidding for Ana begun.

I had to hold my hands together behind my back so as not to bid on Ana even if that meant bidding against my best friend. When he helped Ana down from the stage, I could see the relief on her face that she didn't have to dance with anyone else.

…

I danced with my sister who at first wasn't impressed that it was her brother who had won her dance. There was a young man here who had been smiling at her all night and although I know how stubborn my sister can be and she would dance with him at some point, none of us would make it easy for her, or him as no one would ever be good enough.

"Swap," Luke said after a few rounds of the dance floor and I was only too happy to oblige. With Ana now in my arms, the silence between us started.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" I asked after a few moments.

"It's nice, although being dressed up like this is not really my thing," Ana said quietly, running her hand along the silk and lace of her dress.

"You look beautiful." 

"I look out of my depth" she admitted.

"No, no you don't. You had some here hanging off your every word earlier, myself included. You were always the intelligent one of the three."

"Yet I'm the poorest" she laughed.

"You see riches in things other than money, you can see the beauty in things that others either can't or don't want to see."

"Sarracenia," she said with a smile.

"Yes, a few twigs in a pot, that and those other ugly plants that you grew" I smiled.

"I still grow quite a few of those ugly plants as you call them. They all do their jobs around the house, especially getting rid of flies."

We continued to dance for a few moments longer and when the song ended and a slow one started to begin, I brought my hand up to her cheek.

"Please don't" she whispered, stepping away from me.

"Why," I asked.

"You know why" she replied before heading back to her seat.

For a few moments, I was stood on my own in the middle of the dance floor, stunned at what had just happened. When I did reach my table, Ana was being pulled back onto the dance floor by Luke. They had an ease at the way they moved together, her laughter filling my ears as he spun her around. When she had danced with me there was still a distance between us but there was none of that with him. When they finished, Ana did not come back this way, she went outside so I followed her, determined to get to the bottom of the way she was different with me.

"Why can you dance with Luke like that, Elliot too but you keep me at arm's length," I asked, not able to hide the hurt in my voice as I approached her.

"Christian" Ana whispered my name before other words followed, those that said they had not hurt her.

"How did I hurt you, what did I do," I asked as she walked away from me, stepping down onto the path that split the lawn, leading down to the water's edge.

"You know."

"IF I KNEW, I WOULDN'T BE ASKING" I shouted, not caring if anyone else heard, although I doubt they did over the music coming from the marquee.

"I knew it was a mistake coming here when Kate told me who was throwing this ball, I should've stayed away."

"What would that have accomplished," I told her. "I know where you live now, where you work, it would've been only a matter of time before I would've been back seeking that friendship that you offered me."

"You don't want friendship though, that's not the way you are with girls Christian," she said, getting angry herself now as we stood by the gate that led to the dock, the marquee and those inside feeling miles away now.

"How do you know what I want when you won't even let me in."

"I did once and look where it got me."

"Is this about that kiss, if it is then I'm sorry. If that's why you left."

"YOU THINK I LEFT BECAUSE OF A STUPID KISS" She shouted, shocking me at how angry she was.

"IF NOT THAT, THEN WHY."

"I LEFT BECAUSE I GAVE YOU MY VIRGINITY, I gave to you the only thing that was truly mine, only for you to tell me what a mistake it had been. Leaving after that was easy because no matter how that woman behaved when I was around, the pain was nothing compared to how you hurt me."

I reeled back from her as if she had slapped me.

"Your.. what.. No, I don't.." I spoke, gripping the sides of my head.

"What, you don't remember, you don't remember what to me was the perfect night after such a shitty day. I don't know if that is better or worse."

"Ana," I said, reaching for her arm but she pulled it back from me, turning to walk away.

I wasn't letting her leave me now so ignoring the scream that came from her lips, I picked Ana up, throwing her over my shoulder before taking her into the boathouse.

"Christian let me go," She said, angrily trying to push past me to get to the door when I had put her back down once we were upstairs.

"No, not until you listen to me."

"What would be the point," she said, walking to the other side of the room before taking a seat on the old couch. "I doubt you've listened to anyone in your life, so why should I."

"I listened to you, back then before it all went to shit. You were the one who told me to follow my dreams, achieve my goals and not let anyone stand in my way. You said the only one who could ruin it was me and I would unless I stopped the drinking, smoking and everything else. You were my safe haven back then."

"I was your security blanket, your safety net but who was there to catch me when I fell, no one. Our friendship back then was always one-sided, you proved that when you took the only thing that I had to offer and then proceeded to ignore me in the days after."

"I'm sorry, when I woke up on that porch, all I remembered was your lips on mine and the rose I had given you the night before was now in a puddle in the middle of the yard. I wasn't in the right headspace back then."

"Isn't that what you told all the girls, that you were messed up, only to move onto the next. I left because I refused to be one of those girls. I thought I meant something to you but I was wrong, I was just like all the rest. Over the years, I had seen their tears at your indifference, saw them turn into a shell of their former selves when you tossed them aside for the next best thing. I was even blamed by a few of them myself at the way you behaved. You played with their feelings, I refused to stay around and let you play with mine."

"I'm not the same person I was back then Ana."

"Really, the fact that you had to hire someone to come here with you instead of coming alone proves that you are. It was always about the image Christian, the mask that you put in place. You show the world what you think they want to see when instead they would much rather see the real you."

"Ana please," I said, reaching for her as she got up, walking past me to head for the door.

"Please what" she whispered, turning around to face me, tears falling down her cheeks. "Do you have any clue how your actions affect others Christian, every word you say, everything you do. I didn't only lose you that night, I lost Luke as well and two months later, I lost a part of me too."

"What are you talking about," I asked, stepping closer to her.

"I was pregnant" she whispered. "I didn't know it at the time as my cycle was always irregular then, didn't know it until after I had started to bleed heavily. I lost our baby and instead of having people I loved around to support me, I had her vicious comments that I was nothing more than a whore" she sobbed.

I walked over to her, pulling Ana to me as I let my own tears fall. She tried to push me away like I knew she would do but I held on tightly as the enormity of her words crashed down on me.

I was a father to a child who I couldn't even remember their conception because I had been so messed up in my head. Boy or girl, they may not be on this world any more but Ana and I had created them.

When Ana removed herself from my arms and walked past me, I didn't stop her leaving. What would be the point when she was right about everything she said. I had hurt her more than even that woman had and to know that, hurt more than anything. I had taken for granted the hand she held out for me and the one chance to prove to her how she made me feel, I had let her fall losing the part of me she was carrying too.

I didn't go back into the marquee so I had no clue if Ana was still there or if she had left, I went home instead. Opening my desk drawer to pull the bottle of Bourbon out that I had in there, the photo below I felt was there to taunt my stupidity of what I'd lost.

It was taken on one of the few trips our families had taken together, this one of us stood beside a totem pole as we made our own. Luke was in front with his old dog, Cola before him and then behind, I stood with Ana sat on my shoulders, all of us even the dog making silly faces. It was a good trip, a good time, the last before Luke and I left for college.

It was on my last visit home from college, the visit where I told my parents that I had quit that I lost the person above all others that I loved.

"What the hell are you doing here, "Luke asked as he entered my office, seeing the now empty glass beside the photo on my desk.

"I couldn't stay."

"You too, Ana and Kate left quickly as well."

"Ana" I whispered, wanting to sob out her name.

"What the hell happened between you two," he asked, pouring himself a drink as I turned my back on him, looking out the window at the dark streets below.

"Everything, I learned the truth about why she left."

"What, why did she go," he asked, abandoning his drink as he came towards me.

"I fucked up" I admitted, turning to face my friend.

"I know, you told me about the kiss but it has to be about more than that."

"It is. Not only did I kiss Ana that night but I also took her virginity, getting her pregnant in the process. I fucked my best friend creating a child that she would lose two months later and if that wasn't bad enough, I'd told her it was all a mistake."

I knew it was coming, I also knew I deserved it too.

As his fist hit my face, I welcomed the pain hoping it would eclipse if just for a moment, the pain of my broken heart.

**Hello, you survived this chapter just as I did. **

**Having had three miscarriages myself over the years, writing this chapter even with the barest of details was very emotional for me.**

**I apologise if reading this has triggered bad memories for anyone, I did think about putting a warning at the beginning of the chapter but then debated with myself over whether giving the reveal of what happened to them would ruin the chapter. **

**Right decision, wrong decision I'm not sure but it's done now and I can't change it. Once again I apologise if this chapter has brought back painful memories for some. **

**For Christian and Ana, the road to healing starts next chapter ****with a lot of tears ****still yet to be**** shed****.**

**U****ntil then, take care. **

**Caroline.**


	6. Chapter 6

APOV

I ran my finger over the tiny tattoo that I had on my shoulder, that of a pair of angel wings. I didn't want it to be there, I wanted to be playing ball with my son, or doing my daughter's hair or vice versa but instead, I was left with painful memories of the day they left my life.

I didn't blame Christian for losing our child, I had no clue that I was pregnant either until I started to bleed. I didn't blame him either for what happened that night, we had both shared the drink he had, which for me was the first time I'd ever had alcohol. We had both been willing participants in what happened between us, both needing the comfort that the other brought or so I thought. He was willing enough when he kissed me, made love to me so that come morning when he woke, I expected a smile upon his face, not the shock that came.

He had shot to his feet, gripping his head as if it hurt, shaking his head too as if trying to shake images from his mind. When he faced me, he was still trying to focus whether thorough the fog of intoxication or if not believing it was me before him and not some random girl. I'd only had the one drink that night, that was more than enough for me to feel the effects of it, he drank long after the deed had been done as he held me and now I think about it, I'm sure he took something else too.

"Stop it Ana" I berated myself, for going over and over that night in my head.

"Are you alright Ana?" Kate asked, entering the guest bedroom where I had spent the night in her apartment.

My original plan had been to drive back home again especially with grandma's hand. She had called in some of her friends to help look after the animals though and ordered me to enjoy what was a rare night out. Now though after last night, I wish I had just gone home.

"I'll be alright Kate" I replied as she took a seat by the side of me. "Thank you for letting me stay over here."

"Any time Ana, you have a key. It was like old times again, spending the night chatting away, drowning our sorrows on ice cream and putting the world to rights."

"I know, I miss this. It's just a shame we live so far away from each other."

"It's not too far that I can't get to you when you need me," she said as I rested my head upon her shoulder, her whispered words of "tell me what's wrong" filling my ears.

"Do you remember when I told you about knowing Christian, about growing up with him."

"Yes, he remembered you, his eyes were everywhere when I mentioned your name."

"We didn't just kiss that night I told you about, I slept with him too."

"Sex" she replied.

"Yes, my first time," I said, lifting my head from her shoulder. "I found out I was pregnant two months later when I lost the baby."

"What, Ana, you've never said anything about this before, why didn't you tell me."

"Everything was always so raw, it was a little piece of my heart I had to keep locked away because I know opening it, the tears would never stop. I opened it last night" I said, ignoring the tears that fell now.

"He said what happened between you was a mistake, his own child. What a bastard" she spat.

"He didn't know Kate, not about that. That night, he said he didn't remember anything of it except our kiss."

"And you believe him," she asked as I closed my eyes as images from that night and the following morning flashed once again before my eyes.

"I don't know. He'd been drinking beforehand but not enough that he didn't know what he, what we were doing. After, he continued to drink, I think he took something too."

"Did you feel anything for him at all during high school, I mean for things to end up the way that they did?" she asked.

"I loved him, loved Luke too but I'd convinced myself that it was the love a sister should feel for a brother. I think I was fooling myself because the way I loved Christian was a different way entirely than the way I loved Luke. We were both vulnerable that night, my mother had been pestering me to go and live with her, the phone never stopping whereas I could hear the arguing coming from Christians house that he was home having quit Harvard. We both needed comfort from the other so when he started kissing me, I didn't stop him. We made love on the back porch of Ray's house, I gave myself freely to him and if I'm being completely honest with myself, I didn't regret a second of it."

"But you thought he did," she asked, brushing my tears away.

"Besides panic and telling me what we shared was a mistake, I had no clue as to how he was feeling because he ignored me in the days that followed and then I saw him as I was on my way to school, kissing a girl outside of his house. She didn't come from the town where we lived, so she was obviously his girlfriend or some fling he had at university. I was stupid to expect to be treated any different than all the others so I shouldn't have been surprised that he would treat me just like them and showed that I'd meant nothing to him."

"You need to talk to him," she told me.

"What else is there left to say. Anything more will be dredging up the past and we did enough of that last night. He knows the truth now, knows the reason why I left and about the child that I lost. I told grandma that I missed his friendship and I do but I don't think the pain is worth it to go back to that."

I jumped then as my phone rang beside me, panicking that it was about grandma for a second as not too many people know this number. Seeing it was Luke who was calling after I had given him my number just the night before, I hesitantly answered the call.

"Boo, how's your head this morning," he asked.

"My head is fine. I can't believe you're still calling me that" I replied unable to stop my smile.

"It was my nickname for you back when we were kids, I have many years of calling you that to make up for."

"Ok, Sully" I replied hearing him laugh, as I laughed at the look on Kate's face, as she's probably wondered what the hell we were talking about.

On one of the nights when the boys came around, with a storm outside we moved inside off the porch. Being asked to put a movie on, one I thought would drive them mad because they were all about action movies back then, they sat through Monsters Inc. and then proceeded to call me Boo. I was the tiny thing that was tougher than all the rest, maybe on the outside but my heart has taken a battering over the years.

"That's me, Sully, the big cuddly one" he declared bringing me out of thoughts of movie night. "I have a lot of hugs owed to me too."

"I always have those."

"Good because I intend to collect them...Where are you. You didn't drive back home last night did you," he asked.

"No, I stayed at Kate's" I replied.

"Here in Seattle?"

"Yes."

"Will you meet me for breakfast then," he asked.

"Can you give me an hour as I'm not even out of bed yet and I kinda stink."

"Of course, we'll have brunch instead. Meet me at Tilikum Place Cafe, if you need me to pick you up, that's fine."

"No, it's not that far from here I can walk. I will see you in an hour" I replied.

"Ok, love you Boo."

"You too Sully."

"You ditching me," Kate asked as I ended the call, letting the phone fall onto the bed.

"Sorry, I've not been good company."

"Don't you dare apologise. I was only asking as Elliot called before I came in to ask me out for lunch but I don't want to leave if you're not ok."

"I will be fine Kate, please don't worry about me. Elliot's nice, and he's good enough for my friend. Let me know how it goes."

"I will do."

After Kate left, I started the shower and while waiting for it to warm up, I called grandma to check she was alright. I got a rundown on everything she had done before I called and I could tell by the noise, just where on the property she was.

"I hope you're not trying to clean Barnard and the girls out," I said.

"No, I'm just out here giving them a treat. I will save the mess for you when you get home."

"Fine by me," I told her.

"I was kidding" she laughed. "I have help here remember so don't worry, now how did last night go."

"Honestly," I asked.

"Of course."

"Christian and I had an argument and I told him the truth."

"Good, he needed to be told, Ana."

"He didn't remember Grandma" I whispered.

"From what you told me of the way he was, always drinking, filling his body with poison, are you surprised."

"Not really, he may not have been drunk when we made love but he certainly was after. I told him about our baby."

"How did he take that," she asked.

"He was upset, I was too. We both cried and then I left."

"Did you give him a clip round the ear from me before you left?" she asked, excitement in her voice which made me laugh.

"No, I didn't, grandma you're so violent."

"Only to those who deserve it" she replied.

"Do you think you could do without me there for a few more hours, Luke wants to meet up before I leave."

"Take all the time you need sweetheart, although maybe Barnard might be better behaved when you're here," she said before I could hear her telling the loveable animal off.

"I will deal with him when I get home, I will see you later. Love you."

"You too sweetheart."

Ending my call with grandma, I showered and then was soon on the way to meet Luke.

…

For a late Sunday morning, the Cafe was busy, every table taken from what I could see. You had to book in advance at this place but with who and how popular my friend was, I wasn't surprised to find him stood by a door which led to a private dining room, not surprised either that he was taking photos with other guests as I approached.

"Thank you, Luke," one woman said, who was having her napkin signed. Luke looked up and at my eye roll, he smiled.

"Surrounded as always," I said approaching the group.

"Luke's just giving us his autograph, taking a photo with us too, you will have to get in line," another said as the waiter tried to get people back to their seats.

"I don't think so" I replied, making my way around the group before kissing Luke upon his cheek before I entered the room and took a seat.

"Are you his girlfriend" a man called after me, one who I could barely see behind my friend now blocking the door.

"No, she's my sister" Luke replied.

"But you don't have a sister" the woman who had told me to get in line stated.

"Oh but I do" was all the reply she got before everyone was shooed back to their seats and Luke joined me after closing the door and a kiss was placed upon my cheek.

"How are you doing Boo," he asked.

"I'm ok, looking forward to getting back to normality. I don't know how you can attend events like that all the time."

"I don't, I attend only those that I need to, the rest, the invitations are ignored," he told me. "And I wasn't asking about last nights ball, I was asking how you are, I spoke to Christian, he told me."

"Did he tell you that I'm one amongst many, a fact he said he doesn't even remember?" I asked, before apologising for the way it came out.

"You never were like that to him Ana, you were always his number one girl."

"I was his safety net Luke, the gullible one who always pushed her own feelings aside as long as he was alright. I'm sorry that I didn't contact you after, I needed a break, a clean one and you were one half of a pair."

We were interrupted then by the waiter who was quick to leave again once our order had been given

"We were never a pair Ana, I'm one-third of a trio" he declared, taking my hand that had been shaking into his. It was then that I saw the bruise upon his knuckles.

"What have you done."

"The third member of our trio is now sporting a black eye."

"What, you hit him, why."

"Why do you think. When we first met you, we vowed to protect you from our bullshit no matter the cost. No amount of alcohol or shit he'd taken should've made him put you in a position like that."

"Luke, what happened that night, I don't regret, it was his indifference after, the way he quickly moved on kissing a girl only days later, treating me just like all the others that made the decision to leave easier."

"Would it make any difference if I told you it was her that kissed him, stalked him when he was in college and then followed him home. He didn't kiss her Ana, if its who I'm thinking you mean, she was the one who kissed him. Just like with the newspapers, the magazines now, what you see in them isn't always the truth."

"Everything was so messed up back then" I sighed.

"I know…. He panicked when you left, and has pretty much looked for you ever since, we both have but were obviously looking in the wrong place and for the wrong name. Ray refused to give us any information on you, just said to leave you be."

"I miss Ray so much, he wanted to adopt me but she would never let him. Maybe things might have been different if because of her, I hadn't felt so vulnerable back then."

"Did Ray know, about the baby?" he asked.

"Yes but not for a long time after. He always knew there was something and it had to do with Christian, it was a part of me though that I kept locked away. I never confirmed it though until the day I lost him too when I asked him to look after my angel" I whispered, unable to halt the tears once more.

"Oh Ana, come here," he said, wrapping his arms around me tightly, placing many kisses upon my head. "You should've reached out to me, if you felt you couldn't to Christian, I would've never turned you away."

"I was seventeen Luke, I had moved halfway across the country, moving so many times I had no clue where I was. She said she was going to come back, have someone charged with rape just so she could make some money out of my misery only I refused to tell her just who the father was."

"God that bitch, she needs to rot in hell for what she did to you."

"She has no power over me any more Luke, I'm not that scared kid I was back then. If I saw her again now, I would just walk past her as she is nothing to me, just like she meant nothing to me then."

I barely ate any of the food we ordered which I berated myself over because food is not something we should waste. Instead, I just spent the time talking to my friend.

We spoke about everything and anything, catching up on some of the time we lost. Christian's name did come up during our conversation, how could it not when he was still a big part of Luke's life and he just like the man I sat by now had been my whole world back then. Luke told me how his playing sports at college had led into the career he had now. We also spoke about my work and the fact that just because the school year was ending didn't mean that my work was now done. I would be going back to Africa at the beginning of July for a month, checking up on the project I had started before I came to work at WSU. I was excited about the trip ahead but leaving without speaking to Christian, felt like once again I was running away.

I knew there would come a time when I had to speak to him but today was not that day. We shared a past, no we shared more than that and despite the dark days that tore us apart, the good days, the time we spent together, I know if I think hard, pushing aside the pain he caused me, those good days eclipsed the bad.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Some have asked if Ana and Luke will hook up in this story, the answer to that is no. He is and will always remain their best friend, the sounding board that they both need at the moment. **

**Christian is back next chapter as he tries to sort himself out. **

**Until then, take care.**

**Caroline. **


	7. Chapter 7

CPOV

One, two, a hundred, a thousand, maybe a million. It's amazing how many things you see when you really look, look at something other than yourself.

That's how many dots I can see in the ceiling tiles above me, give or take a few thousand.

"I'm sure my ceiling is of interest to you but I'm also sure you didn't come here to look at that" I heard as I looked over from where I was lay on the couch, to John, my psychiatrist. He has been more than that to me over the years, a friend, a mentor but for now, he's doing his day job, his job today trying to get me to speak.

"I don't know what to say," I said quietly.

"Something simple then, one word that brought you to ring me in such a state that had me opening my doors at 5 am just for you to look at my ceiling."

"Ana" I whispered, not even bothering to brush away the tear that fell.

"Montesano, Ana?"

"Yes."

"I did see the photo like everyone else in the city taken at that university graduation ceremony you attended. Rhian told me also that you and Luke had replied stating that she was a friend of yours from school."

"She was more than that" I replied.

"To you both," he asked.

"Yes, but in different ways."

"How so."

"Luke and Ana, they're brother and sister in every way that counts beside being related by blood. They are both an only child so they had that bond that siblings have, one that said you can annoy me to hell and back but I will always protect you."

"I know you see Luke like a sibling too but did you never see Ana like that?"

"No."

My mind went to Ana then, the way she held me and I her, the little kisses upon the top of my head she would give me when she was called in and told it was time for bed. When called by Ray it was with happiness that she went to him. When she called her in, those kisses lingered longer than all others as if she felt safe with me and not her.

Safe, I had been her safe haven as she had been mine and I let her down.

"Has seeing Ana brought back that feeling of being out of control that you once told me you felt?" he asked before groaning that trying to get blood out of a stone would've been easier when I didn't answer him.

"I hurt her," I replied after a few minutes. "I hurt her more than my thoughts, my feelings can comprehend. I called because I felt like I was on that edge again and this time I didn't care if I jumped off."

"Speak to me then, tell me what you did to her that made you feel like this. You know me, Christian, I don't judge, I won't interrupt just stop looking at that bloody ceiling and speak."

He asked, so I did just that telling him everything that he didn't yet know. He already knew about the fear of touch I had, about not being able to get close to anyone in high school making me become someone I was not. What was new to him were the feelings I revealed that were of a love more than friendship I had always had for Ana, about that night, what came after and our lost child.

"I was so selfish John, I take and take and take from others without barely giving anything back. For a while I felt I was owed it with the start in life I had, I had been taken away from that life though, grew up with a loving family while Ana was pulled from pillar to post, living with a bitch who treated her like nothing and when she needed me, I wasn't there for her."

"What happened the night you lost her then," he asked.

"You know."

"No, I know the story of you kissing her and then keeping out of her way because you thought you'd ruined everything. That's a different story entirely to what really happened though if a child is involved."

"I told my parents that I'd quit Harvard that day, only to be told by my dad what a disappointment I was to him. Back then, my relationship with him was always fraught, he had one career path planned out for me while I had another and I was told should I stay on my chosen path to open my own company, I would receive no help from him. I was so angry when he stormed out of his office, leaving me alone as my mother followed him, I could hear them arguing too that he was too hard on me so I left the house, not wanting to be the reason that they had fallen out."

"I have met your parents many times Christian, they're as solid as any married couple I know."

"I know but when you're struggling, when you're fighting your own mind on what's best for you to do, it's easy to see the negative in everything, embrace the dark instead of the light."

"What happened then," he asked.

"What I remember."

"Yes."

"Before leaving home, I grabbed the unopened bottle of whisky that dad had on the shelf in his office, taking that with me. I walked past Ana's house but she was still in school, I could hear Ray on the phone to someone, a heated argument just like the one I'd had at home."

"Where was Luke."

"Still at Uni. He stayed, finished his course and graduated top of his class."

"What brought you back to Ana's then," he asked.

"I think I had walked around the whole town while I drank a little from the bottle, keeping to the back streets so I didn't get picked up for having it in public. Whilst on my walk, I bumped into a friend from school, well he wasn't a friend, more like the person you could go to if you needed something."

"And did you get anything from him."

"Yes, drugs," I said, wiping my tears away again. "Taking something just to get me through the day back then had become the norm. That day especially, I wanted to forget, wanted to forget the stress, the pressure, I felt was being put upon me. I also wanted to forget the person who I had begun to hate, the person the town knew me to be. It was my fault, I should've been myself from the start but thoughts in my head of being the son of a crack whore made me want to be more than that….. When I got back home again, I remember seeing Ana sat on her back porch, she'd been crying so I broke a rose off of my mothers rose bush and took it to her, wanting to cheer her up."

"What happened then," he asked.

"I don't know, don't remember. I'm missing so much of what happened that night"

"Don't remember or don't want to remember."

"What the fuck are you asking John," I said angrily. "Do you think I wouldn't want to remember making love to the woman who means more to me than anyone else in this world, wouldn't want to remember every second of it."

"Did she consent to what happened between you, did you," he asked.

"What, you think I…. no, god no."

"Christian calm down," he said as I shot to my feet and started to pace the floor. "I'm only asking because if you say you were so drunk that you didn't remember what happened..."

"Ana said it had been the perfect night when we spoke, no argued. When we were on Ray's porch that morning she'd asked me how my head was and if I was ok. I looked at her, there was something different about her, no tear marks down her face like I had seen a lot recently, she had a smile, a beautiful smile on her face, one that was there just for me. Looking at her smile I remembered, brushing my fingers along her cheek, wishing for once I could kiss her. I remembered our lips touching, of holding her close only for my dad to come out, shouting for me to come over before another argument ensued which ruined it for me, so I had once again reached for the bottle. The bottle was lay on its side and empty when I woke, the bag the pills had been in empty too. Knowing I had kissed Ana the panic took hold and my words of what a mistake the kiss had been was out before I could stop them."

How many times had I kissed a girl before, slept with them and then told them it was a mistake before I made my exit.

Only walking away from Ana in a blind panic, knowing I had treated her just like all the others, did I realised what I'd done. What I'd done, I didn't know the half of it.

"You said the bag was empty, had you taken the drugs," he asked.

"I must have done at some point, I could still feel the effects of them come morning" I spoke my voice monotone as if all emotion had left me now. The more I spoke about things that happened, the more I remember the look on Ana's face when I left the next morning. It cements in my mind what a fool I have been all my life, what I've lost, Ana and the life we created.

"What is it you want Christian. When we've spoken in the past, the goal has been to move forward, set a target for what you want to achieve and work towards that. What is it you want now" he asked, as I turned my focus away from the window as the sun came up outside to the man sat in his chair, pad and pen in hand ready to write things down.

"What I want…. What I want is whatever Ana wants," I said before retaking my seat. "What," I asked, seeing the smug smile on his face.

"Nothing," he said before writing something down again.

"John, what."

"Do you know that's the first time since I've known you that you want something for someone else. Please excuse my language but you can be a selfish bastard sometimes."

"Really, I never would've guessed" I replied sarcastically.

"Christian, loving someone is putting their needs, their wants above you're own. When we've spoken before, it was always how you wanted things to be, what you wanted, your needs especially when it came to women. Despite how much money you have in the bank, the luxurious lifestyle you lead, you need to realise that you can't always have what you want. Now tell me this, if Ana turned around to you and told you that she didn't want to see you again, hated you but she still wanted to remain friends with Luke, how would you feel."

"Heartbroken to think that she hated me but also, I wouldn't call it happy, more like relieved that she still had Luke."

"That's good," he said, putting his pad and pen down before he looked to me as a friend. "Going forward from this Christian, you need to do what Ana wants, what she wants to do. I would say go and see her, try and speak to her but only when you get your head right."

"My head has never been right John, I've been fighting demons for years. If my head was right I would have no use for you."

"And my bank balance would be a lot less but at least I wouldn't be woken up so early that I have to leave the comfort of my wife's arms…. On a serious note though Christian, if you do see Ana, even if that's to grieve and speak about your child, if she turns you away initially you have to accept that. Give her time, I know Ana has had ten years to grieve and you only a matter of days but going off what Rhian and I went through after losing our first to miscarriage, even after having successful pregnancies after, no matter how long the child is with us, they were conceived, they were alive, a part of us if only for a short time and will still to this day, be imprinted on her heart."

I left John's office, saying nothing to Taylor as I got into the car before he started to drive us back to Escala. I had meetings all day today in the office but I could face none so I told him to head over to my parents where I hoped at least one of them was still home.

Stopping outside of the house, I could see my dads car still here, my mums gone, probably on the early shift at the hospital. Despite how much money they had, she refused to give up the job that initially brought me to her long ago.

I opened the front door, heading towards my dad's office where I could hear him speaking on the phone inside. Speaking to John about what happened that night, it's strange to think that back then, I could've never imagined coming to my dad as I did now but I had learned long ago that he would be there for me when I needed him, protect me as a father should, even if that's from myself. I also knew he would know how I'm feeling now because of the many miscarriages that my parents went through making them eventually choose to adopt.

I knocked before I entered, not wanting to disturb his call. Upon seeing me though, he quickly ended it.

"Son, what is it, what's wrong. Tell me son" he said.

So for the second time today, I explained what had happened and what I'd learned at the ball before breaking down as he held me. It was while being held that I realised Ana had none of this, no support, no one there for her when she cried which made the tears come even more.

I would go to her and I would leave if she told me to, leave until she called me back, if she ever did. Until that day came though, I would get my head right, work on myself and wait.

**Thank you for reading and reviewing. **

**Their second reunion will be next chapter. For those few guest reviews, I've had that want them to get over the past and jump into bed together, remember they've already done that and look where that got them. Their time will come but it and I won't be rushed. **

**Until next time, take care.**

**Caroline. **


	8. Chapter 8

APOV

"Why are we here," I asked Luke as we stopped outside of the building where my life had changed once again over a month ago.

I had come back to Seattle for Kate's grandmothers funeral two days ago and even though I have things to do back home, people and animals that need me, I had been reluctant to leave again having unfinished business back here. Grandma told me all about Christian's visit to my home, how she had seen him sitting in his car which was parked across the street as he had been too reluctant to approach through fear of upsetting me. Time is what she had told him to give me and time is what I received. Now though as I listened to what Luke was saying to me, I believe my time for hiding was up.

"He's up there, working, hiding away from the world. You said you wanted to speak to him at some point, I was thinking as we're here anyway, you might want to go up and say hello."

"Here anyway, you said let's go for a drive and we stop here."

"Yes, you told me you were nervous to speak to him Ana, that you keep starting to dial his number that I gave to you but you never finish it. You said that you wanted to speak to him on his birthday last week but were afraid he might not want to speak to you. How you came to that conclusion I have no idea because he's just as desperate to speak to you as you are him. If you're here, there's no number to bother with, no excuses or barriers in your way. I get from both of you that you want to talk but are waiting for the other to make the first move. He won't Ana because if he does and you're not ready he's terrified he will ruin everything again. Plus Rose told him to wait for you and he's doing just that. Talk to him please Ana, that man is in turmoil at what he's done and how much he's hurt you. You're his Boo just as much as you're mine, you're hurting just as much as he is inside. Go see him before you go home, even if that's just to call him an arse and every name under the sun. Let him apologise, give him that, it's the only way any of us are going to move forward from this because I know if you don't, he never will and I for one refuse to lose you again."

"If I go in, will you be coming in too," I asked him, nervously wringing my hands together.

"No, I'm meeting some teammates at the gym, I think I need to work off the lunch that I've just eaten besides I think it's best if you speak to him alone. Call me when you get home" he said before pulling me into one of his bear hugs.

I had missed this over the years just like I had missed my friends and that included the one inside this building.

"Are you saying that I can just walk in there, up to the CEO's office and no one will stop me. If so, he needs better security around" I asked when he released me enough so that I could breathe.

"No, but you will get in there with this," he told me pulling out a gold card. It had his name on it, VIP written as well and in bold at the bottom,** Access All Areas.**

"If I get thrown out."

"Trust me, Ana, you won't and when asked, the answer will be obvious."

"What" I called out to him as he started to walk back to the car.

"See you later Boo."

I walked towards the doors of the building, ready to speak to the guard who was patrolling inside. As I reached the doors, I turned around, calling Luke back.

"Hold on Mr Sawyer, you drive me halfway across the city and now you're going to desert me, how am I meant to get back to Kate's and my car."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Christian can give you a lift" he called back before getting into his car and then he was off.

Shaking my head, I walked into the building showing the card to security on the way. Maybe he had seen Luke outside but he said nothing about me being there or using the card in another's name, he just pointed towards the elevator and wished me a good day.

Once inside, I looked at all the numbers, having no clue what floor Christian's office would be on.

"The best Ana," I said to myself, looking towards the buttons and finding one that had a card slot beside it that would take me to the top floor.

"Please enter the correct code" an automated voice spoke, scaring the crap out of me.

"Code, Luke didn't give me a code, why didn't he give me a code," I said, talking to myself hoping to god no one was listening in. "When asked, it's obvious," I mumbled the words Luke had said before I started to input combinations hoping that the elevator didn't lock itself with me inside if I didn't get it right.

"0618 – 0413" not Christian or Luke's birthday, maybe it's a different code for each card. Putting the only other four-digit number in that I knew of, my birthday, I was shocked when the elevator started to move swiftly up, letting me out on the top floor.

It was eerie up here with no one around. No lights on in the small reception area although it was lit with the natural light from outside. I walked past a large empty conference room, stopping outside of a door with one occupant inside. Taylor was sat looking at the monitors before him, one of them the now empty elevator, turning to me with a smile, he pointed down the small hallway to a door at the end, letting me know that Christian was inside.

"Does he know I'm here?" I asked.

"No, he doesn't. Would you prefer it if I announce you" he replied.

"No, no thank you."

He nodded his head as I made my way to the door at the end, seeing it was slightly ajar. Should I knock, would that startle him more than if I just walked inside. Not wanting to make him jump, I knocked lightly hearing his surprised words for whoever was knocking to come inside.

"Ana," he said, getting to his feet upon seeing me and immediately came around his desk.

"Hi Christian, I apologise for intruding."

"No, no your not, please take a seat," he said, nodding to the chair behind me before gesturing to the couch, letting me know I had a choice of where to sit.

I took the couch and he nervously sat beside me.

"Happy belated birthday," I said quietly looking to him.

"Thank you."

"I had lunch with Luke, he asked if I wanted to go for a drive after so he brought me here before ditching me. Your eye, I told him off for hitting you" I mumbled nervously.

"It's nothing I didn't deserve. I… I..."

"You what, you've never been stuck for words before," I said.

"Words, I don't think I could ever find the right words that I want to say to you, words that could even come close to expressing how sorry I am. For everything back then, what I said at the ball and for not being there when you needed me."

"You really didn't remember," I asked him as he shook his head.

"No, It was the kiss I told you I regretted, only because I didn't want to lose the one thing that meant the world to me, you. You're right with what you said though, I did use you as a safety net. You were the only light in my dark days and hurting you extinguished that light. I was so ashamed at what I did for putting you in a position like that, so angry also at the world when you left."

"I had to" I spoke, focusing on my hands that I was wringing together before one of his covered mine. "I don't regret that night Christian" I admitted startling him. "What we did, maybe I should've stopped it when you kissed me as I could taste the drink but you didn't seem drunk especially nowhere near as I'd seen you before. We were both desperate for comfort though, both needing to be held by the other and things went further than it should've done. It was after, being ignored, seeing you kissing another girl only days later that hurt and made me realise that I couldn't stay."

We sat there for, I have no idea how long, still holding hands, both lost in thought as there was only silence between us. When he did speak, the words he spoke ripped open once again the locked away part of my heart.

"They would be ten, nearly anyway. They would look like you, beautiful, with a stubborn streak they got from me. Our child would be as smart as his or her mother with the world at their feet."

I looked up to him, his eyes meeting mine as the tears fell down his face. Reaching my hand up to brush his tears away, he pulled me into his arms.

We cried then, cried for our child up above and the time we'd lost. We cried for the children we once were, for the pain we both suffered before the only words heard was his mantra that he would not lose me again, that he would make everything right.

"I can't bring them back Ana."

"I know Christian, they're always here," I said, placing my hand over his heart. "And in here" I spoke, moving my hand over to my own heart where his joined mine. "We have to look forward, we never forget but life always moves forward, forcing us to move on."

"Move on… How, where do we go from here" he asked me.

"I don't know, so much has changed since I was in high school, we've both grown so much and believe me I had a lot of growing up to do. Grandma helped me see that, she showed me that I have a voice I can use, the word no should be used most of all and above all other things, I don't have to do something that I don't want to do. Like you, I struggled to fit in, that's why besides you boys, I kept to myself."

"I still need to grow up a lot as still to this day I allow what has past to dictate how I am now" he admitted.

"How so," I asked.

"In high school, in college, I always felt the need that I had to fit in. I was the son of a crack whore who had been rescued from that life but that life, what she put me through was always there so I had to prove to myself that I was better than others, better than her. I'd gone from that life to one of having a perfect family, that too brought it's own problems as it's hard growing up in a perfect family when you're not perfect especially when you fear their touch so pushing them away came naturally to me. So I hid my fears and started to play the part others wanted to see at home, doing anything at school, work now to be seen as the best, to fit in and in the process, I've lost the real me. I only found him when you were around, Luke too. We were the three musketeers when we were together, putting the world to rights. Being without you, it was never the same again. Luke and I are as close as we always were but there was always something missing, Boo."

I didn't realise I was crying again as he said my nickname, I was sobbing then when he pulled me closer, wrapping me in his arms once again. I had been right when I told my grandma that I missed the friendship we shared but I missed more than that, I missed him.

We broke apart then when a knock came on the door and I got to my feet, turning away for a few seconds to wipe the tears from my cheeks. Christian did not do the same, his cheeks still wet when Taylor entered, telling him he had a visitor.

"Sir, Mrs Lincoln is on her way up," Taylor said.

"What, what the hell is she doing here on a Sunday, let alone any other day" he complained.

"I know sir, as she is still on your pre-approved list, security has granted her access to the elevator."

"Shit, I informed Olivia to have her removed from the list" he complained. "Taylor, once she leaves, make sure it's done. I don't want her to be able to gain access to the foyer again never mind up here."

"Will do sir."

I was quiet as he spoke to Taylor, no doubt angry that he was being disturbed. Christian was not angry that I had entered his office but as he apologised, excusing himself for a moment to deal with this problem, making his way back to the reception desk, I followed. As the doors of the elevator opened, I realised just who this Mrs Lincoln was.

"Why are you here Elena" Christian asked as I came to stand by his side, his smile nervous as he quickly looked down at me before his anger returned when he looked back at her. He stepped closer to me now, waiting for her to speak as if he was worried I would disappear again.

"I wanted to speak to you about a few things. You weren't at home and I didn't expect for you to have company… what is wrong with your face" she asked, commenting on the tear tracks that were still there.

"Never you mind, if this is to do with the salons then I have told you before I will not be investing any more money in them."

"No, it has nothing to do with them, do you think we could move to somewhere more appropriate than a dimly lit foyer and I can speak to you in private," she asked, her eyes on me as if trying to stare me out. It was her who broke away first, a little victory for me.

"I have a guest Elena and I am not about to ask her to leave just so you can speak to me uninvited."

"A few minutes of your time is all I ask."

"Five minutes, that's all I will give you and you can speak to me here."

Christian gestured for me to go back into his office but instead, I took a seat on the large couch although it was the last place I wanted to be with this woman. I had seen her and Christian's date speaking at the ball, the looks of disdain from both of them when he looked my way. I felt a need to stay and protect my friend, I also had a feeling that whatever she said wasn't going to be good and I was right as Christian stood in front of the reception desk waiting for her to speak.

"Talk."

"Lily, she told me you were unhappy with her at the ball. I've been calling you for over a month to speak about it but my calls have gone unanswered or when answered have not been put through to you."

"She was paid to behave however I told her to and she could barely do that, that is why I was unhappy with her. Now if there is nothing else" he spat.

"There is, Leila will not wait forever and then there is Susannah, she has been in touch wanting to contract with you again."

"Elena" Christian said menacingly as if telling her to hold her tongue. She didn't though as she continued.

I had no clue what she was speaking to him about, my brain ready to explode with the back and forth between them as if they had forgotten I was even there.

My standing gave them the clue that I was ready to leave, Christian stepping forward as he realised that I had witnessed the show between them.

"Get out, and don't come back" he spat making me flinch.

For a second I thought he was speaking to me before he took his eyes from me and once again told her to leave.

Watching Taylor stand in between Christian and her, her frustration that she could no longer get to him would've been comical if I didn't have to hear her loud complaints as she was sent down in the elevator with Taylor escorting her. It was time for me to leave too as I had a long drive ahead of me but just like when we were kids, it was so hard as I could see the pain he was in.

"I have to go," I said.

"Ana, please don't… her."

"Christian, what she was speaking about, although I have to admit I didn't understand much, that is your life and the way you choose to live it. Despite the history we share, what you do with regards to women has nothing to do with me."

"So much has happened since you left Ana. I have so much to tell you, so much I need to explain."

"One day, when you're ready and maybe I will tell you what I've been up to too, friend."

"Best friends, Sully, Mike and Boo, the three monster musketeers."

"The best," I said, kissing him upon his cheek before I was once again pulled tightly against him for a hug.

When he let me go, I wrote my number on the pad that had been left on the reception desk, leaving it up to him if he wanted to call.

I had only just reached the foyer downstairs when my phone beeped in my pocket with a message.

**Stay where you are, I've just remembered the monster abandoned you here and you need a lift x – Christian. **

I sent a reply telling him where I was and I would wait for him down here.

Rereading his message, I smiled. I'd had lots of monsters in my past, some you look for under your bed at night in the dark, others that will hurt you even when its light.

My real monsters were special though as they could protect me in the dark and light, love me through both too. My monsters I know despite the past would protect me from anything if I asked, as I was their Boo.

**Thank you for reading. **

**The talking continues next chapter, including about Christian's time as a Dominant. Even though the bitch troll is in this story, there is no sexual history between them as she's not the one who introduced Christian to that lifestyle, you will find out more about who did next chapter.  
**

**Until then, take care.**

**Caroline.**


	9. Chapter 9

CPOV

I was normally surrounded by thousands when I sat up here but today, I sat alone. The noise that was usually deafening came now from the few down on the ground as I watched one of my best friends run down the field, slamming the football to the floor just past the line.

He wasn't here to play the sport he did, no this was for an ad campaign for one of the brands that sponsored him and just like the photos he did not long ago, his shirt was soon off, followed by his pants which left him in the boxers he was being paid to advertise.

We'd planned to have dinner together but he had to cancel when this was brought forward so instead of sitting at home immersing myself in yet more work, I found myself in the suite I had here at CenturyLink Field, one that my company or more like I owned. Often when the games are played I had sat here in solitude, wondering what it would be like for Ana to be here cheering Luke on by my side. Now I sat here imagining my child's excitement also as they shouted and cheered on their uncle.

It's been a couple of days since Ana had left and I had to admit she was on my mind every second of the day, our baby too. Speaking to her on the phone for a few moments after entering the suite didn't alleviate my need to see her, speak to her again now.

I had driven her back to Kate's apartment, a place she told me she stayed often when she was here. That made me think how many times had I missed her on the streets of my home city, how many times had she looked upon Grey House or the stadium where I was sat now and we didn't know she was here.

Ana had followed both of our careers, celebrated both of our successes from afar. It was Ana who had achieved the most out of all of us though, she had found a way to feed those in need and helped give them the skills to feed themselves. My money Ana had said was what had made the work possible but I didn't believe that. She had been doing what she did now long before she joined the team at WSU.

I continued to sit in that suite, long after they had finished, long after the lights in the stadium had gone out. I was calm sitting here now, being able to see the stars up above without being ruined by unnatural light.

"Have you turned into a creature of the night?" Luke asked, entering the suite, his arrival also bringing with it the light that came in from the corridor outside.

"Have you stopped showing the world your arse" I replied, making him laugh.

"Not while it pays the bills and they're willing to pay a pretty penny for a few hours work. So you, up here alone in the dark" he questioned.

"I was just enjoying the stars. I only get to see them when I'm out on the water so it's nice to see them here."

"Penny for them then. I have a few spare penny's after getting my kit off before" he stated, putting a light on at the other side of the room which gave us just enough light to see as he pulled two beers from the fridge.

"Ana's ok, she was putting the animals to bed when I called" I stated. "I forgot to thank you for bringing her to see me the other day."

"Do you really think that Ana would've gone to see you if she didn't want to be there."

"No" I replied. "Elena turned up, opened her mouth and started sprouting shit about potential submissives she had for me."

"Shit, what did Ana say," he asked.

"Nothing apart from it's my life and what I do has nothing to do with her."

"Can I ask you something?" he said. "And don't punch me although you may think you owe me one."

"I deserved the black eye, so ask away."

"When we were in high school, you liked Ana and I don't mean in the sisterly way that I did. Why did you never tell her, why continue to move from girl to girl. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you, I had my dick in a different hole every chance I could get too but I didn't have a special one, you did so why didn't you drop the act and tell Ana how you felt."

"She was always too good for me."

"That's bullshit Christian and you know it. You would've been perfect for each other, she is the only girl you ever let touch you, the only one you ever let close apart from Mia."

"I was selfish," I said. "Ana was my safe haven, my home. I didn't want that to change which it would've done if we had gotten together and it hadn't worked out. I needed, more than wanted her at that moment, needed her support more than her love. It was always about me and what was best for me back then, now when I look back on what I did and how I treated her, I'm surprised she would ever want to speak to me again."

"She does though," he said, bringing a smile to my face.

"She does and I will make sure I don't lose her again."

"Are you going to tell her?" he asked.

"What, that for a while I liked to whip women and all the women that I have been photographed with over the years have been paid to be at my side."

"You can start with that but I meant, are you going to tell her that you love her." 

"She knows that" I stated, seeing the roll of his eyes.

"Do you want a punch to your other eye giving you a matching pair, I mean are you going to tell her that you're in love with her, not just love her as I do."

"I don't know" was the whispered words that left my lips. "After all, Ana's been through, after all, she had to deal with on her own, I don't know if me telling her will make it worse for her, knowing that should I have told her back then, I would've been with her the day she lost our child and went through hell. All I do know is that I will never hurt Ana again."

Leaving the suite, we headed through the stadium and out to my car, which was one of the very few that were still here. Luke had plans to meet some of his teammates at a bar down the street before getting a taxi home and although he asked me to join him, I declined his offer, ready to go home.

"Will you see Ana before she leaves?" he asked me as I was about to open my car door, his words making me spin around to once again face him.

"Leave, what are you talking about."

"Not forever, so you can stop panicking."

"I'm not panicking" I lied, trying to hide the panic I did feel.

"Yeah right, this is me you're talking to remember Christian. Ana's off to Africa next week. Did she not tell you about her trip."

"No, I was too busy apologising and then the witch turned up. Whenever I have spoken to her on the phone, she's usually outside busy with the animals."

"Ana said she started a project some time ago before she started to work at the University, set up a garden close to a local school which is also attached to an orphanage. She was helping the locals there not only by showing them how to grow their own food but she reluctantly admitted she bought tools for them as well."

"Why would she not want to admit that."

"You know Ana, always so humble. She could never take a compliment back then so I doubt she would want any thanks or recognition for what she's doing now."

"I will speak to her, find out how I can help," I said.

"That's a start" he shouted before heading off in the direction of the bar as I got into my car and headed home.

….

I pulled off the road and into the small car park, nervously parking up outside of the farm shop that was positioned to the side of their house. RoseAna's was emblazoned on a sign over the door and I could see people happily coming in and out. This would be the first time I had been back here since Rose told me to give Ana time. Getting out of the car now, I just hoped she didn't tell me to give her more.

I could've gone to the house but with Ana telling me her days were either spent out with the animals or here in the shop when she wasn't working at the university, I ignored the house for the moment and entered the shop.

"Hello, I'm looking for Ana," I said, walking towards the counter.

A woman who must be in her early twenties turned to me but it was the elderly woman who had my attention.

"Hello young man, it's good to see you again," Rose said, smiling at me.

"You too, Mrs Thewell, how is your hand."

"Rose please, and my hand is much better which is good because I have too much to do around here."

"Grandma, do you need more out or do you want me to put these away" I heard Ana say as she emerged from the back of the shop, in her arms were blocks of cheese that looked like they weighed quite a bit.

"Just place them on the counter sweetheart, we have a visitor."

"I see," Ana said to her grandmother but her eyes were on me. "Christian, how are you." 

"I'm ok, I apologise if I'm intruding," I replied, making her smile as she had said the very same words to me not long ago.

"No, you're not, come through I'm just finishing off," she said leading me to the back where there was a butter churn, one that looked at least a hundred years old and everything she would need to make cheese.

"You make butter and cheese but I only saw one cow when I was last here," I told her.

"Spot is more of a pet than used for milk now. Robert, who is our closest neighbour he has the cows, hundreds of them. We get all the milk we need from him, never paid a penny for it either as grandma trades him with the eggs and vegetables we have here. His main income comes from the supermarkets but always has some milk available for us, whether that's to use to make something with or to sell in the store. We have a couple of goats here too, you never got to meet them the last time you were here as they had already been put away. We make cheese from their milk too or more like grandma does but with her hand still out of action, I've taken over that part of the operation."

"She said her hand was better," I said.

"That's grandma for you, keep calm and carry on. Her hand is getting better but she still has to rest it, grandma being grandma though still tries to do everything and then tries to hide how much pain she's in with it at the end of the day."

"What will happen when you leave," I asked her.

"Luke told you."

"Yes."

"I would've told you that day in your office," she said. "But we were interrupted."

"I know Ana, I'm sorry about that."

We left the store behind, moving out past where the goats were grazing and into the fields where the alpaca's were waiting for Ana. They were all desperate for her attention as she put out their food and If I'm honest, so was I.

"I would give you a shovel but I don't think you're dressed for it. Really Christian if you want to come here more often, you need to dress the part" she smiled as she started to shovel up alpaca shit.

"I'm in jeans, hiking boots, what more do I need," I asked, taking my jacket off and leaving it on a bale of hay, or was it straw. I was out of my depth as I opened the gate and entered the alpaca pen but as this was her life and I wanted to be a part of it, I was here to learn and try.

"A hat," Ana told me, disappearing into the barn before coming out with what looked like a cowboy hat, although this one was made of straw. "You will fry in this heat after too long, so hats are always needed, look after that one, my dad made it," she told me as I held the hat in my hand before putting it onto my head.

I helped shovel shit, put fresh bedding down all the while Ana and I spoke. I told her about my company, what I did and what future plans I had, before she told me more about her work at the university and where in the world she'd been.

There was one thing that I needed to speak to her about, one thing I would be happy to never have to mention again. After revealing that the women that I'd been seen with had been paid to be there, a fact she said she already knew, there was only that one thing left.

"What's running around in that head of yours Christian. You were always a deep thinker, an over-thinker too just like I suspect you're doing now."

"You know me so well" I stated with a smile.

"I used to think I did," she said, laughing when Barnard bumped his nose into the side of her head. "Behave, boy, go and eat."

As if listening to her, the alpaca's all started to eat whatever Ana had placed in the buckets for them that were attached to the fence. With no distractions now, I had Ana's attention as she waited for me to speak.

"Have you heard of BDSM?" I asked and from the look on her face, I think she was expecting me to mention it at some point.

"I read that kinky book just like many others a few years back, is that what you're talking about."

"I suppose but there is a lot more to it than that. Do you remember back in high school that big party at Bobby Northerns place."

"I remember people speaking about it for a long time after but I wasn't invited, not that I would have gone anyway. They weren't the sort of people I would be friends with and I think I was only sixteen at the time anyway."

"I went," I told her. "It was a party for his older brother, his twenty-first and as I was close to my eighteenth, Luke and I were invited to go. A couple arrived, I remember thinking at the time that it was weird if they got him a stripper, why would the guy need to be there unless he was her guard to keep the horny teens away. Neither was a stripper, he was a Dominant, the woman was his submissive and they were there to put on a show."

"That's what that Lincoln woman was speaking about, Dom's, subs."

"Yes, watching that show, how he was in control, not allowing her to touch him, there was something about that that appealed to me at the time as to touch me was something I didn't allow unless it was you. I forgot about it all after though as college was looming, the outside world was waiting for me to take my place in it, my dads words, not mine. After I quit, after you left, it was like the world was falling down around me, any control I had over my life was gone and I needed to get it back again so my dad recommended I see a psychiatrist. I had seen many over the years but fed up of all the constant complaints from him I made my own appointment with one in Seattle, refusing to see the one he had gotten me."

"Did it help?" she asked.

"For a while but not in the way you may think. Whist speaking to my shrink about my lack of control, he broke protocol and spoke of his adolescence and what had eventually as an adult helped him. He was a Dominant, originally learning from books and videos before getting frustrated with the lack of true knowledge out there. He visited a club, met his teacher, his mentor there and never looked back. His wife was his submissive originally, now they have the best of both worlds, a life together, children and not forgetting the kink."

"He taught you," she asked me.

"He did but his most important lesson was that although it was control that I was looking for, I would never have it until I freed myself and let go. Through John, I did learn control but it was more with having control over touch, or more, not allowing others to touch me than how I was feeling inside, because apart from when I was with Luke, with you, who I really was continued to remain hidden.

"I can understand why you don't want people to touch you, why you keep everyone at arm's length."

"Not everyone Ana.

"No, not everyone" she agreed. "I never understood why you hid though, why you felt you needed to be someone else. I mean even now, why not turn up to your parent's ball on your own. It's not like you're going somewhere you won't know anyone, you're family were there."

"I would say it's easier, to live behind the mask. So many people see me as the womanising bachelor, the king of business in Seattle who got to the top by knocking the smaller fish out of the way. To show someone different now after all these years, I doubt anyone would believe that it's me."

"Why are you worrying about those who mean nothing to you, you should only be listening to those who do. Luke told me about the charity work you do, about the people you help anonymously. It's time to stop hiding Christian, and start showing people who you are."

I pulled Ana closer to me, burying my face into her hair, so grateful that she held me as tightly as I held her and no longer pushed me away. I wanted to show people the real me, starting with the one who I loved the most.

"I will," I told her. "It's time to start living the life I should've always been living," I said, placing a kiss upon her forehead as she pulled her face back from me.

"Good, I'm glad, you deserve to be happy," she said before placing a kiss over my heart.

As we walked back to the house, Ana told me about the trip she will soon be taking and what once she arrives she will find there. Ana's trip is to feed the world and to help those in need. I think its time I took a trip of my own, one to find my true self, find the person I want to be.

**Thank you for reading.**

**Until next time, take care.**

**Caroline.**


	10. Chapter 10

APOV

My department here at WSU was buzzing even though no lessons were being taught. All here now were here for one reason and that was to make sure everything we were taking with us on our trip in the morning was packed up and everything that wasn't here yet was traced and those responsible berated for their lack of urgency.

We had seeds and grain to take with us, tools to help those there plant them. Clothes were also essential to take and I've had many of them donated too from staff and students at the university. Even though I started the project in East Africa years ago, there are still always those who go without, always those desperate for help to feed and clothe their families and to keep them healthy too.

I always remember seeing those advertisements on TV for charities when I was a lot younger, of children starving in far off countries, those in power more interested in the weapons they could purchase than feeding those in need. I remember thinking why if that is the situation you were living in would you want to bring a child into that. As I've learnt often on my travels though, women, girls are put in those situations through no fault of their own while the men, the animals who hurt them go off on their merry way, having no care to what they leave behind. Not all children born into hunger are there because of abuse though, I've met many a family man also who is desperate to feed his wife, his children and just needs the tools to. That is why the vaccines that we're taking are important because no matter how each child came to be on this earth, they have a right to live.

A right to live, but my child didn't. I find that hard to bear sometimes but I have to continue, make what I do something they would've been proud of, Ray too even though neither of them is here to see it.

"I wonder how the vegetables are growing," Libby said as we closed the door on the truck that was filled to the brim, all ready to leave tomorrow for the airport.

"Very well," I replied, pulling the photos up on my phone that had been sent to me by Dembe, the director of the school and orphanage where she lives.

The photos showed the vegetables growing in ground that would have once been barren. The nutrients added to the soil as well as the work we did with it making it now a perfect environment to grow food. It is so much hard work for such a small area but it's a start.

Leaving the university behind, I headed home for what will be my last night here for a month. Bypassing the house for just a few minutes, I made my way into my own vegetable garden. This is what I want all land to be like, what all children should grow up to enjoy. Being able to eat the peas from their pods, to make a meal that means no child goes to sleep hungry. I know most will see it as a pipe dream but it's my dream and I will continue to look for new ways for food to grow, new ways for it to flourish as long as I can. My dream originally was to help one child but now, I can help many more.

"While you're daydreaming do you think you could pick us some corn for dinner," Grandma said, making me jump for a second as I turned to her with a smile.

"It's not a daydream, or maybe it is."

"Whatever you're thinking of or planing, I'm sure it will be a reality soon enough" she spoke as I pulled up some corn for us to eat, a thing that she nodded to. "Remember what you told me your first year here that you would like to eat your favourites all year round. If you can get corn ready to harvest here at this time of year, you can do anything, my dear."

Grilled corn, steak and potatoes made a delicious dinner and that was followed by grandmas home-made cheesecake. I will miss grandma so much when I'm away but I know she will be here waiting for me when I return with open arms just like she always has done since the first time I stepped through the door.

"Have you spoken to the boys?" she asked as we sat on the porch as the light started to fade once I had put the stubborn alpaca's away for the night. They knew something was up, Barnard especially, they would only realise what that was when I didn't come to see them the next day.

"Yesterday, but not today," I replied, before taking a sip of my tea. "I sent Christian a message to let him know that I will send him a full report from there as technically it's his company and the university that are funding the trip this time."

"Sweetheart, they may have funded your research and gave you the equipment to play in the mud for the past few years. What you've been doing abroad though you've been doing it a lot longer than that. What seeds, medicines and tools you take, that all comes from you and those silly days you had at the university to raise money for it."

"Yes, who knew sitting in a bath of cold custard could do wonders for your skin," I said, making her laugh.

"I will take your word for it" she replied.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright with me gone, your hand?" I asked, carefully taking it within my own.

"I will be fine sweetheart, you've made sure that I have enough help here, more than enough so that I could put my feet up the whole time that you're gone."

"If you do put your feet up, take photos because I won't believe it unless you do" I laughed, moving out of her way so she couldn't poke me in the side.

"I will be fine Ana, I look forward to seeing the results of your work and I suspect there will be a lot back here eager to get those results too."

Before I went to bed that night, I spoke to Luke who was on his way to Miami to see his parents who live there now. I've done the hot weather of Florida, Georgia at times I felt was hotter than that. Neither are places I want to visit again and a few others, places that I spent months in hell with her. I told Luke that, he replied that if he saw her again it would be her life that would be hell then.

I also sent Christian a message as he hadn't picked up his phone when I called, not realising until I woke the next morning that he had sent one back during the night.

**Sorry, I missed your call, I will speak to you soon. Sleep tight Boo xx – Christian**

…

Arriving at the airfield that afternoon, I was surprised to see the plane that was being loaded up with supplies had Grey Enterprises Holdings written on the side. Turning to Michael, I asked him what was going on.

"With all the supplies that you're taking, it was thought that you might need a bigger plane," Michael told me but my attention, my eyes were on the man who had just stepped out of the cabin and now stood at the top of the steps with a nervous smile upon his face.

"Christian, what are you doing here."

"In my message, I told you I would speak to you soon."

"Yes, but I thought on the phone. Shouldn't you be at work."

"I should be but I took some time off" he replied, walking down the steps towards me. "I know this is your project but I thought I could tag along, see what you've been doing out in this big bad world."

"Have you had your vaccinations?" I asked, unable to control my smile.

"Yes, don't worry about me. They're all up to date thanks to a business trip I made to South Africa not long before I saw you again."

We both looked to my left when we heard a cough, and a flash of light, seeing my three companions, Libby, Hannah and Jasper all with smiles on their faces and Libby holding my camera in her hand.

"First photo of the trip done, now are you going to introduce us Professor, Lambert," Libby asked, making me roll my eyes at the teasing way she asked.

"It's Ana, I've not been your professor for a while Libby, and anyway you all know who this is as you were teasing me about the graduation photo yesterday. If you have forgotten in your clouded thoughts of sun and getting away, this is Christian Grey."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all" Christian laughed, standing by my side as each of my former students introduced themselves.

I noticed the smile on Hannah's face at how close Christian and I stood together as once again the click of the camera was heard, she would never know we had been a hell of a lot closer than that.

"Give me that camera Libby before the memory is all used up before we leave the ground," I said, holding my hand out for it.

"Just documenting the start of our trip" she teased, giving it to me before she took her bags onto the plane.

We loaded up the hold with what we were taking, all moving out of the way when the pallets of rice, grain and seeds were put on. Stepping into the cabin after I had hugged Michael goodbye, I wanted to whistle as Jasper had done with how luxurious it was.

"You certainly know how to travel in style," I said, finding an aisle seat before I stood again so Christian could take the window seat.

"You still don't like to fly," he asked, smiling at me.

"I've gotten used to it over the years, I've had to if I want to continue my research. I was in Britain earlier this year, speaking at a conference about sustainability and product growth and the work we've been doing at the university and how it compares to other work done around the world. Every day is a school day my grandmother always says and I took just as much information away from that conference as I gave out."

"Why haven't I heard about it," he asked quietly before shaking his head.

"Michael said information was sent to the company funding our research just like all reports are," I told him.

"I'm ashamed to say although those reports are received, they're passed straight to the department I have at GEH who deal with donations and the companies that receive them. They go through them and let me know the basic details and if my investment is working or not…. There is always something else to read."

"Something more important," I stated.

"No, not more important, just more demanding. I find out how the work at WSU is progressing but obviously, details of conferences and the day to day work in the departments are left out. I'm proud of you Ana, for not just what you do at the university but for where we're going now."

"One person can always make a difference, even if that difference is just to one life," I said, repeating something that Ray had said to me long ago when the first vegetables we planted in his garden started to flourish. I had told him with just those few seeds we had planted that I wanted to feed the world.

"He was a good man," Christian said, brushing a lone tear away from my cheek as he knew just who had first spoken those words.

"He was, the best."

Feeling the plane start to move and hearing the pilots voice through the cabin letting us know that we had clearance for take-off, like always I gripped the arms of my seat.

Yes, I had to fly for work but that didn't mean that my stomach wouldn't be in knots and I enjoyed being propelled into the air in a tin can. I watched as Christian released my hand from its hold on the armrest closest to him, taking it into his as we left the ground behind us.

…

The flight was smooth, I mean how could it not be in the luxurious plane we were in. I slept for a while, waking with my head against a hard shoulder, soft lips though kissing my hair.

I had always been comfortable sleeping against this man, although he had been a boy, a teenager back then. Now as I sat up in my seat, apologising for the none existent drool that I may have left, he laughed, happy and carefree as he had always been in my presence and for the first time, Christian did not hide away from others seeing him like that.

"Who's meeting us there," Hannah asked as we ate the delicious meal the flight attendant brought round.

"Dembe will be at the school so I suspect, Sanyu or Akiki will be there along with officials who are guaranteed to make us wait" I groaned.

"What's wrong," Christian asked me.

"Nothing, just the usual hoops we have to jump through to feed the people these officials are supposed to represent. We took aid earlier this year to another area."

"That was terrifying, I thought you were going to be shot," Libby said.

"What, what happened," Christian asked her, shock filling his voice.

"We had a shipment for Darfur."

"I know about Darfur, it had to be airdropped," he told her.

"Yes eventually but only after Ana went toe to toe with an official there. This guy kept talking over her, wanting to speak to Professor Richards instead because she was a woman and when Richards spoke to him, the ignorant official had no interest in anything he had to say" Libby said, making exaggerated air quotes on the word woman. "So Ana being Ana, got in his face" she continued. "She told him to shift his arse so the grain and food we had on board didn't go to waste. She also told him that if one child died because they didn't get the vaccinations that we had brought with us, their death was on him. He pulled a gun on her because he didn't appreciate being spoken to by a woman only to be shouted at by someone higher up when they saw the video camera we had with us. We managed to convince them that we were recording our trip and sending live pictures back to the university and the conversation was being broadcast too. They told us we could leave or die, obviously, we chose to leave."

While they spoke I sat there biting my lip, an indication of nervousness I'd had since I was a child. Was I embarrassed with what Libby was saying, maybe a little as I was usually the quiet one but I was proud too that I had stood up to the bullies.

"Let's hope we don't have any of that this time," I said. "Otherwise, forget words, my finger will be ready to poke."

…

When we landed on the airstrip, it was like landing in a dust storm because of the dust the plane picked up. This place wasn't used that often and when it was, it was usually by us.

There were three cars and two large trucks waiting for us, two of those cars filled with friends, the other with those that could grant us safe passage or try and make us leave. From the crowd of locals that had gathered to help unload the supplies from the plane, I suspect should they deny us access to this land, they would have a riot on their hands as some of the food and clothes brought would be left with them to distribute to those in need who lived close to the airstrip.

"Passports and papers," the first official asked when he entered the plane.

I did worry for a second when he asked if Christian had thought to bring his passport as I hadn't seen it when I had shown the official back home mine. I needn't have worried as his quickly joined ours that were thoroughly checked along with the papers that stated why we were here.

"Who's in charge," another man asked.

"I am," I said, stepping to the front of our group before I was asked to follow him off the plane.

The hold was opened and only being able to hug Sanyu briefly as we passed, the official checked everything that was removed.

I was relieved when the official granted us permission to leave the airfield, telling us that our plane and papers would be inspected again when it was time for us to go home. I would worry about that when I need to but until then, I was looking forward to meeting up with those I call dear friends.

…

We travelled close to thirty miles from the airfield but on these bumpy roads, with the breeze, our vehicles were causing, picking up dust and debris and sending it our way, it felt like many more. Those in the trucks and the other car would be protected from this dust but as Christian and I travelled in what I can only describe as an ancient open-top jeep, I think once we arrived, his eyes were as sore as mine.

I quickly forgot about sore eyes as my focus went to the happy cheering children inside the grounds that were waiting for us just inside the gates. Outside were people from the village, all waiting desperately for the aid we had brought. Throughout our journey and now as we got out of the car, Christian had remained silent.

"It's a lot to take in," I said, quietly to him, receiving a nod before a loud voice parted the crowd and Dembe approached before pulling me into her arms.

"Beautiful, Beauty is back."

"Does that make me the beast then?" Christian asked, watching as the elderly woman hugged me.

"No beast here" she spoke to him. "Not while beauty is around."

"I agree," he said, smiling at me once I had introduced them before Dembe led us towards the buildings, leaving the staff to distribute the food, clothes and supplies, the medicines taken to their rightful place too from one of the trucks while the other drove through the gates and into the grounds. The school and orphanage would take their share because at the start here was where all the aid was originally meant to be, there would also be some leftover for the outer villages that would be distributed over the coming weeks.

"Ana, Ana, Ana" was called out by all the children here, all excited for our visit. Christian was caught up in the excitement too as he soon had many children hanging off of him.

"Just remember, they're innocent children, they can't hurt you," I said, not wanting him to panic at their touch.

It was me who was surprised when he picked up two small boys so they didn't get crushed in the crowd of children, chatting away happily to some of the older boys too as we made our way into the main school hall and out of the blazing sun.

Dinner that evening, some would think was a meagre affair but to these people, it was a feast. They had always welcomed me with open arms and that welcome was extending now to those who had come with me.

As the sun went down, I helped Dembe put some of the younger children to bed. I always bring some new books with me to read, adding them to the library I had started on my first visit here. As sleep claimed them with a little wish from me that for them tomorrow will be a better day, I looked out into the dusty yard and over to the patch of artificial grass that had seen better days, to the boys and men who were kicking a ball around.

I could hear the excitement in the boy's voices at being allowed to stay up later than normal. I could hear the laughter from the men too and especially from my best friend.

"That is a nice picture to have," Dembe said, placing her aged hand on my shoulder.

"It is," I replied, taking a photo. "It's nice to see them relaxed."

"Your young man especially."

"He's not my young man Dembe. He was a friend to me when I was a child, a teenager also and we've only just found each other and that friendship again."

"Is he _that_ friend?" she asked, looking across the yard to the trees in the distance. "Or is he the other one."

"Yes, he's _that_ friend" I whispered.

"I see" she spoke, squeezing my shoulder gently. "Are you happy with him being here."

"I am actually. For a second I was nervous when I saw him stood at the top of the stairs to the plane but it was more with which Christian was coming with me."

"There is more than one" she teased.

"You know what I'm talking about. Ever since they've come back into my life though and I mean properly, like as my friend again I have not seen that other side of him."

"Well you can never have too many friends Ana, especially one who looks at you like that," she said.

"Like what," I asked.

"As if he would follow you to the moon and back, as if he would walk over hot coals just to be by your side. My late husband used to look at me like that, still does from above."

"Dembe, you know the history between Christian and me and besides that night, he's never looked at me like that, as more than his best friend," I told her.

"Are you sure about that" she replied as we left the sleeping children behind.

While she continued to check everything was right within the orphanage I moved outside, taking a seat on the porch. One of the children, Fynn waved at me gaining the attention of all the others around.

"Ana, we're going to get some sleep," Hannah told me, with a sleepy Libby stood by her side.

"Don't take the best beds" I teased, making them laugh.

Our beds would be basic by some standards, to those here the best around, The only thing resembling a curtain in the room would be the mosquito nets that I brought on a previous visit and if my memory serves me correctly, we would all be in the same room.

"Do you have any idea where we're sleeping tonight?" Christian asked me as he approached with the boys before we said goodnight to them all as they were ushered inside.

"Yes, they have a room here for us," I said, taking his offered hand as I got to my feet. "It's basic and if you want hot water, you had better start boiling it in the pan."

"I don't mind a cold shower, do they have showers here," he asked as I laughed.

I pointed over to the bathtub in the corner of the yard and the bucket beside it.

"Only baths here and you will find that if you get in there you will be sharing someone's bathwater and more will be sharing it after you. Water is precious here, not to be wasted even though we do have access to a water supply, it has to be purified first so whatever water you do wash with, don't drink it."

"I have a lot to learn," he said, shaking his head as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we made our way inside and to the room where we will be spending the first of many nights.

Once here, I learned something too. Only four of us were originally supposed to come so there weren't enough beds.

"Do they have no more?" he asked.

"No, not unless one of them gives up their own and I would rather go without than they do that."

"I will sleep on the floor then," he said going over to his bag which was beside mine, both placed just inside the door.

"Christian, we have mosquito nets for a reason, you will be bit to buggery by the morning if you sleep on the floor."

"Bit to buggery, what's that" he laughed.

"Oh, something I learned from Edmund, a Brit I met last year when I was working."

"This Brit, what was he like, did he want to share a mosquito net with you" he teased although there was something behind his eyes as if should I say something had gone on between Edmund and me, he wouldn't like it one bit, so I told him the truth.

"Edmund was an upper-class snob, one who wanted to visit the poorest neediest areas just to make it look like he cared. He did nothing but complain about the lack of food, the lack of hot water, the lack of everything. Being bit to buggery was what happened to him and thankfully he didn't last for the full trip, being sent home by his tutors for embarrassing them and his university. I doubt he would ever be back to a place like this and I think if he did, it would be the animal troughs he would be sleeping in.

"Is it comfortable?" he asked.

"Is what comfortable Christian."

"The animal trough."

"I wouldn't know, I do know though that I wouldn't sleep in them, bathe in them either."

"I will take the floor then" he once again said.

I looked around the room, seeing what was available to make him comfortable. Besides a few spare blankets in the corner, none you would want to cover yourself with as it was so hot, there was nothing. Seeing what I was looking at though, he collected them, placing them by my own bed as he made his own on the floor.

I got ready for bed in the toilet before Christian did the same. I didn't like these sleeping arrangements especially as there was no net above him but besides asking Christian to sleep beside me, I didn't know what else to do.

"Christian" I whispered after what must have been ten minutes of tossing and turning by both of us, as I looked over the side of my bed to his uncomfortable nest on the floor.

"Yes."

"Do you remember camping out by Silver Lake."

"Yes, you, me and Luke all sleeping in that two-person tent, we were like sardines squashed in a tin."

"Yes, none of us slept as we were too busy laughing as you competed as to who could tell the shittiest joke as well as who could gas us out."

"I think you took that victory Ana, Luke looked like he was going to hurl" he laughed quietly as a giggle escaped my lips.

"I was just getting you both back" I replied. "Luke may not be here now and if he was he would have to sleep under the bed but if we sleep like sardines, we may fit on."

"Are you sure?" he asked me. "I'm ok here."

I had to push away how nervous I was at my suggestion and remember the fun times I'd had with my best friends. Knowing it was one of those best friends that I would be sleeping beside, I smiled, nodding my head.

As he climbed into the bed, the mosquito net around both of us now, it made me realise how close we were.

There was no room to move on this bed as we lay side by side, a quiet giggle leaving both of our lips as we reached for the other to make sure no one fell out. Deciding the best way to sleep was to cuddle closer, I lay my head on his chest, a favourite place of mine to sleep so long ago.

We were both tired, it being a long day and with the temperature now, even at this time of night, we were sweating before I even closed my eyes. I was comfy though so comfy that I soon started to drift off.

"Love you, Boo" he whispered, placing a kiss to the top of my head as his heart became a soothing lullaby.

"I love you too" was the words I replied as sleep took me and I meant each one of them too.

**Their trip will continue next chapter as feelings are finally revealed.**

**I know some of you want them to go their separate ways, have their own trip before coming back together again, some from the messages I've received don't want them to get together at all. **

**Sorry, I could never do that to them and with them not seeing each other again for the month Ana would've been away it would've just prolonged their agony and mine.**

**I thought placing Christian in a place and situation so alien to him, so out of his control as he gets to see first hand how others have to live away from comfy beds, hot water and food whenever he wanted it was the best place for him to be. **

**Until next time, take care.**

**Caroline. **


	11. Chapter 11

CPOV

Waking up the next morning, I felt a little disorientated as to where I was. I was warm, no I was hot, the temperature seeming to rise more every second. I was also aware that I wasn't alone.

The reason for some of the heat was the body lying half across my chest, the beautiful woman whose body it was, calm and relaxed for what seems like the first time since she'd come back into my life.

Ana was always running here and there, checking everyone was ok, checking her animals had everything they could need. For just these few moments she was settled.

"Make the most of her like that" I heard Libby say, as I looked over to the girls who were sat on their beds, smiling at us. Jasper was nowhere to be seen.

"Yes," Hannah added. "Once she's awake, she won't stop."

"I was just thinking the same thing," I said, placing a kiss upon the top of Ana's head, hearing a little murmur from her before she continued to sleep.

"You're close" Libby stated.

"They have to be otherwise they would fall off the bed" Hannah giggled.

"No, I mean close, close."

I knew what she was getting at so I just nodded, hoping I wasn't tempting fate and the closeness we shared would last for longer than this trip.

"Ana and I have known each other for a long time, since high school although we lost touch for about ten years."

"You didn't know she was the brains behind the project you were funding," Hannah asked.

"No, if I did I would've been at the campus sooner."

"Ana's behind more than just the project at Uni," Libby told me. "She set all this up, I don't mean the orphanage although she's the reason they have the new school building as the original one was deemed unsafe. The food that now grows out in the garden, the aid that comes this way, she's behind it all. She's always one for doing something for charity, whether that's doing something silly for water aid to get water to places like this or the hike she did late last year to raise money for a cancer charity. She was exhausted after that hike, feet full of blisters, skin chapped and torn but she was determined to raise the money because it meant so much to her."

"Her stepfather passed away from cancer," I told them.

"We know, she did it in his memory," Hannah said as she got up, pulling Libby with her as they left to help make the children's breakfast, myself I continued to watch Ana sleep.

…

"Good morning" Ana mumbled about thirty minutes later, taking a few minutes to open her eyes before she could focus on anything. "You're hot."

"So are you" I laughed as she finally sat up before trying to wipe away the little bit of drool she had left on my top. "Leave it alone, I suspect it won't be the last time" I teased, moving out of the way as she tried to poke me in the side.

Moving out of her reach on the tiny bed we were on, left me lying on the dusty floor.

"I will have a look around, see if they have any broken beds we can fix or unused mattresses because we can't spend the next month sleeping like this."

"Ana, it's fine, I didn't mind and as you said last night, it's not like we haven't slept that close before."

"I know, I just don't want you feeling uncomfortable having to share with me every night."

"Uncomfortable" I laughed. "Believe me that's the last thing I was feeling last night."

She didn't say anything more although I did detect the hint of blush on her cheeks. Maybe it was the heat because even at this time of the day I was starting to sweat or maybe it was the way she made me feel having her this close to me, the only woman who I have ever truly wanted by my side.

We left the room behind, my morning wash with the same cold water Ana used. Considering how much I had refilled my water bottle last night from the tap just outside of the orphanage, gotten in line just like all the others to get something we took for granted at home, I realised how precious each drop was.

"Will the tap ever run out," I asked Ana as we entered a large room which doubled up as the school but at the moment was being used to make sure everyone was fed.

"I don't know, I hope not but with very little rainfall what water they do get comes from under the ground. Our world is changing day by day so what we may have now, come tomorrow may be gone. With that, the work I've done here will also be gone because even the food I have managed to start growing needs a little water"

"We will have to make sure it doesn't then" I stated, receiving a smile.

I helped clear away once the meal was finished before I was faced with something I can't remember the last time I'd done, washing dishes and they would only be done after the water had been made safe. This building had water, but it wasn't safe to drink, unlike the tap that had been placed on the street outside for everyone in the town to use. Having it to a building was a major achievement Sanyu told me, having toilets even more than that so watching as he dropped what looked like a large white tablet into the sink that was filling with water, a tablet he told me would clear the water, kill all germs and get rid of anything that would make us sick, could the dishwashing begin.

No dishwasher, not that I knew how to use it anyway but not having water that was even safe to wash a dish in never mind drink had my mind all over the place.

When the dishes were done I felt a little out of place as everyone had a job to do here, everyone except me. Dembe soon found me something to do though, helping out with the maintenance of the building and grounds, that was until the bell at the gate sounded and everyone stopped.

"What's going on," I asked Sanyu.

"An arrival" was all he said as we watched Dembe make her way across the yard towards the wall that separated the orphanage grounds and the town outside. Seconds was all she spoke to whoever was there before ushering them inside. "At least they stayed," he said.

"What do you mean."

"This place was set up by Dembe many many years ago as a school. She had grown up in an orphanage a few towns over before finding a home with a family from your country. When she was old enough, had a little money behind her she came back only meaning to spend a year as she wanted to educate the girls she had come across as only the boys in the family were deemed important enough to be sent to school. She never went back to America apart from to visit her parents or they came here to see her. With them now long gone from this earth, she has stayed here, teaching the children, boys as well as the girls, giving them all the knowledge they need to hopefully help them survive outside of these walls. Children, girls especially are protected here, not married off, no chance of being raped as many who enter that gate have been. Most leave their child on the steps hoping that here they will have a better life, or do not wish to deal with a child with a disability and then just walk away. Whoever has just walked through those doors with a babe in her arms, I can guarantee had a start to life that you would not want to wish on an enemy. With Dembe, with people like Ana, what was her start will not be her end."

"You're very passionate about what you do here Sanyu."

"I have to be, you see my sister was one of those girls, sent away by my father to be married when she was nothing more than a child and I've never seen her since. I looked but was unable to find her, I suspect if I do find her though it will be her grave now that I see. She would've been Ana's age now, they would've gotten on very well as they have the same heart."

Upon hearing her name and knowing what she had been through on her own made me want to reach out to Ana, hold her if only for a second just to make sure she had not disappeared again. When I did find her, I let her be as she comforted the young woman whose baby at the moment was being tended to by a doctor as he was struggling to breathe.

I tried to keep myself busy for the rest of the day, helping the children with their school work before helping Dembe collect a few vegetables from the garden, which will be put with the basics for tonight's meal.

Watching her pull up the carrots from the ground, each one carefully placed into her trug as if it was the most delicate of things, I tried to emulate her gentleness when I pulled a few potatoes up too.

"Maybe we have apples one day," she said to me, pointing to what looked like the start of two trees.

"If Ana's planted it, I have no doubt you will," I said, smiling. "Are those fruit trees as well?" I asked, nodding to two trees that were in a walled-off area of the garden.

"No, they were here before I was, have grown even though until Ana came here nothing else would. That's our memory garden" she told me as I stepped closer to the wall, seeing crosses in the ground along the far wall and also what looked like pebbles around the base of the trees.

"What is this" I whispered.

"As I said, a memory garden. Not every child that comes through our doors survives and that can sometimes include their mothers too. Some are too sick when they arrive that no matter how much we try, there is nothing we can do. Some never have peace in their lives but we try at least to grant them peace in their death."

I didn't realise as we had been speaking that Dembe had taken my arm and led me through the small gate and to the base of one of the trees. It was surrounded by stones, pebbles all with a name engraved upon them, some with a date too. These were the for the babies who never got to take their first breath she told me, never got to spend a day on this earth. Born sleeping, even those who never had a chance to grow fully inside their mother were remembered here. It was hard seeing this here before me with my child no longer on this earth, hard as well to imagine what these women had gone through just to find themselves here, knowing my Ana had gone through hell too.

As I was about to turn my head away from them and follow Dembe back through the gate, one stone caught my eye.

T. R. Grey.

It wasn't an African name and there would only be one reason for a stone to be here baring my surname. As I knelt down, running my finger over the letters, I heard a sob behind me.

I turned to see Ana stood on the other side of the wall, tears now falling down her cheeks. Leaving the stone for a moment, I leapt to my feet and ran for her as she wept before pulling her tightly to me.

I held Ana as she cried, having no doubt that the stone was there to represent our child. Cradling her face within my hands as I brushed her tears away ignoring my own, there was only one thing I asked.

"T R."

"Yes," she whispered.

"Why T R."

"I didn't want our child to be nameless, they were alive even if only for a short time. I would never know what sex they would become so I chose letters which would mean something to you and me. Theodore Raymond for a boy as you were always close to your grandfather, he stuck up for you back then more times than I can count and you know what Raymond meant to me... and Tilly Rose."

"Tilly Rose Grey, why Tilly Rose," I asked.

"It's silly," she said shyly.

"No it's not Ana, it must mean something to you if you chose that as a name for our child. I understand the Rose as it's your middle name."

"It is, and I loved the name Rose although at the time I didn't know it was grandma's name too. Tilly came from Tillandsia," she said, smiling sadly as she looked over to our child's initials engraved in the stone. "It was the first thing I ever grew with Ray beside the vegetables, the first thing he let me grow on my own with his guidance of course. It is not something that we can eat but just like with all the other things I grew with him it started my love of plants and everything that we can grow."

"It's a beautiful name and I'm sure whichever name they received they would've loved it," I said.

"I hope so," Ana whispered wrapping her arms around my waist, her head resting against my chest as she closed her eyes. I placed a kiss upon the top of her head, holding her as tightly as she held me. It was many minutes later when Ana let go as she looked up into my eyes. "If they had been born, I would've told you. I would've never kept them from you Christian no matter what was going on between you and me."

"I know Ana," I said, placing a kiss upon her forehead as she once again closed her eyes.

"I came out here to see if you needed a hand not to once again wet your shirt," Ana said when we eventually parted.

"Tears, drool, bogies, my shirt is always ready to wipe them away."

"Ugh, not bogies" she giggled.

"Yes, even them. Now, you've been on your feet all day," I told her. "Why don't you rest."

"I'll rest when I'm sleeping, we all do so what can I help with."

Dembe who had been sat on a bench in the garden told Ana we had all the vegetables we needed for one meal so we followed her into the kitchen as I held Ana tightly to my side.

…

My days here seemed to continue the same. Wake up with Ana and make myself useful while she and the others tended to the food that had already been planted before planting new crops and seeds. I also left the orphanage when Ana did as she visited some of the many tin houses, sheds, shacks, no they were homes, nearby. Here Ana gave help to those who needed it with planting their seeds and, showing them how best to get the most out of their land. While I did help a little, I watched Ana constantly, never feeling prouder of anyone more in my life.

One thing that did change was how closer we were becoming and I don't just mean when we slept. Little touches between us, smiles that were meant just for the other, they all added to the love I felt for this woman

I'd had contact with GEH back home, mostly with Taylor who wasn't happy that he had been left behind. He'd not had the vaccinations that would be safe for him to travel here having missed my previous trip to Africa due to a bug he had caught off his daughter. He had protested then and recently before I came here but just like when I went on my last trip, I was nobody of importance to these people in monetary means, just by the help I gave them.

"Are you up for a trip out of here today?" Ana asked me the week before we were due to go home.

"Of course" I replied, "Where are we going."

"Philipe travels to some of the more remote villages twice a month and does a clinic there. He has already left as he has many stops on his way but I said I would meet him at the larger of the towns to help out, we won't be back until tomorrow evening though so you will be spending the night under the stars."

"No hanging onto each other in that tiny bed," I asked making her laugh.

"Not tonight, unless you want to stay here then you can have that luxurious bed to yourself."

"No, I will come," I told her.

"Then tonight's bed will be the back of the flatbed truck."

The back of that truck would have to be cleared out before anyone slept on it, I thought as Ana started to drive. It was full of rice, grain, seeds and tools at the moment that Ana said we'll be giving out to the villages we pass on the way.

"Are you looking forward to getting home, back to civilisation?" she asked me as the town we had spent close to a month now in was far behind us and we were surrounded by barren land.

"Honestly," I said, seeing her nod. "Not really."

"Why."

"I don't know, being out here with you, being me, I don't want to go back to how things were before."

"They don't have to Christian besides I have enough evidence to show the real you. I'm sure a few of those photos getting out would shatter any image you had before this trip."

I laughed at her words, as she once again took a photo of me before her hands were back on the wheel. That camera of Ana's had gone everywhere with her on this trip, not only documenting the results of her work with what she's grown and what has not done so well but the smiles, the laughter too.

Smiles and laughter of the children as they learn something new, taste something new they had grown here but for us, there had also been tears. Those had not been documented with a photograph but would stay with us long after we had left this place as they had been imprinted on our hearts and our minds.

Tears for a sick pregnant girl who had stumbled onto the orphanage steps who upon delivering the baby, we had lost them both. Holding Ana that night as she cried in my arms had been one of the hardest moments of this trip only matched by seeing my child's name in stone. The girl had been one amongst many, too many as far as I was concerned and now the memory garden had a new cross added beside the others. After speaking with Dembe last night, I assured her whatever she needed here, whatever the cost to make these girls, these young women feel safe, would be done. We can't save them all but we can at least try and save many, give them a safe place to stay.

We arrived at the village, well it was more like a city, a city of huts, of metal buildings as far as the eye could see. At first, it was the children who ran to see us but seeing what we had upon the back of the truck, we were soon surrounded by those desperate to get their hands on what we had brought.

"Now the fun starts," Ana said, getting out before climbing onto the back of the truck. She shouted out, being drowned out by all those shouting at her to give the food to them before a whistle left her lips.

What I thought would be carnage, with the help of some of the locals turned to calm. We had brought a lot of supplies with us and they were soon given out, revealing to us our place to sleep for the night.

"Thank you," Ana said to what seemed the leader of the group who had come to help us.

"No, thank you, once again" he replied before he too left us alone.

"Everyone has a little food I hope, what about us, are you hungry," Ana asked me.

"Sure, but where and what are we eating," I asked.

"There is a little delicacy in these parts, its called rice and beans, would you like to try it" she laughed before starting the truck and drove us away from town to an area where we would be on our own. We would be back in the morning but for now, it was just us.

I hadn't been nervous being around those people, they came for the food we had brought with us. I had noticed the way some of the younger men watched Ana though as if she was on the menu too. They would have to get past me first, but being away from them now though means I don't have to deal with them.

I watched Ana as she made our dinner, brushing any stray seeds and grain from the back of the truck into a pile. Waste nothing I had learned while I'm here because even if it was not food for us, it would be a meal for another.

"It's strange being here, like I'm sleeping under a different sky, different stars than at home," Ana said as we bedded down for the night, after removing the small mattress and blankets from inside the truck. We had a mosquito net above us that we had secured to the side of the truck. One that thankfully didn't block the view.

"I suppose we are. Being here, compared to the luxury's we have at home is like being on a different planet, never mind a different continent." I replied as she turned on her side to face me.

Tentatively, I moved my hand to her face, pushing a stray piece of hair from her cheek. I had wanted to touch her, hold her all day that I was unable to stop myself now.

At my touch, she closed her eyes, a smile coming to her lips. Upon opening them again, she brought her face closer to mine.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked, hoping that my question wouldn't mess up the progress we had made.

"Yes," she whispered before I brought my lips to hers.

As they touched a shiver travelled through my body as if awakening every feeling I had pushed aside for this woman over the years, not daring to believe I could hold her again. I was holding her though, pulling her close to me as she pulled me closer too, our lips expressing what our words had been yet to say.

I had told Ana I had loved her so many times over the years but to her, she may have thought that was the love of a best friend. I was in love with her and had been for so long so as the words left my lips in-between the kisses we shared, I made sure she understood each one.

"I love you, I've been in love with you for so long, I couldn't honestly tell you when it started because it's always been there" I spoke as I hovered over her, in our need to hold each other, we had moved so she was under me.

"The others" she spoke and I know what she was asking, how could I be in love with her and still act as I cared for no one but me.

"Stupidity of a teenager that continued as an adult, ignorance of what I was feeling and the need I felt to hide. I lost myself for so long Ana that when I found you again, I found me."

"I'm glad because I love you so much Christian Grey, and I don't just mean as my best friend. I'm in love with you too and have been for so long."

I crashed my lips to Ana's again, the passion between us nothing I had ever felt before. Upon breaking apart to take a breath, I looked longingly into her eyes, trying to express without words that no more mistakes, no more misunderstandings would ever happen and tear us apart again.

Under the canopy of stars then, I kissed Ana, telling her over and over again how much she meant to me.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Until next time, take care. **

**Caroline**


	12. Chapter 12

APOV

One night, I could ask how one night could change things between us so much but it had been just one night that had changed things so long ago.

I had always loved Christian, been in love with him that's why his actions back then had hurt so much. That was the past though and that and those in it except those that we care about could stay there otherwise we would never move forward, move on.

Waking up this morning, I could hear the noise of the locals in the distant starting their day at first light, it was the man whose chest I lay upon whose sound was loudest though, his heartbeat so soothing as were the kisses he placed upon my head.

"I love you" he whispered, probably unsure if I was awake. Upon hearing my declaration of love to him, Christian moved us so I was laying on my side facing him as his hand came up to stroke my cheek. "I will never tire of hearing that" he stated.

"I should hope not. I've been telling you that I love you ever since I was a child."

"I know that Ana, telling you now though, it feels like so much more."

"I agree," I replied, placing a kiss upon his lips before I attempted to get up.

He would have none of that though as his lips, his body soon held mine in place, underneath him.

We had to meet Philipe soon but for just these few moments it was the two of us as our kiss continued. Would we make love again, I hoped that we would and I knew that come the morning after there would be no regrets. To make love here though with no protection to stop a pregnancy from occurring, we would both need to be sure that that was what we wanted or decide it's better to wait.

"I caught sight of the bottom of this when you fell asleep on me on the flight over, I never knew what the image was until I got to see it first hand the second morning we were here as you slept," he told me, running his finger over my tattoo.

"I wanted something so that wherever I was in the world, they were still with me. Despite the pain of losing them, I never want to forget that they were there" I told him as he smiled sadly before nodding his head.

Upon kissing his lips once more, Christian finally let me sit up, the sun already beating down above us. There would be no morning wash in the cold, albeit used water. Today it was straight to work, breakfast would have to wait.

Once we had arrived back into town, I call it that because no matter what the homes were made of, this was a community all trying to survive together. Meeting up with Philipe, I started to help him in the clinic, losing sight of Christian for a while.

I worried about him being here because at the orphanage Christian had Sanyu and Akiki as back up should trouble start. Despite welcoming us or more the aid that we brought, out here in Keffi, Christian was at the mercy of those around should anyone take offence to what they would class as a stranger, one they may think was here to try and take their food.

"Ana, take a break," Philipe told me later that day. It must be afternoon now as the sun had moved over the sky and with weighing babies, young children too and seeing many malnourished despite the aid I had brought not only now but before, with making sure vaccinations were given while Philipe tended to the sick, a job I had panicked over in the past as I am no doctor or nurse, the time had gotten away from us.

I emerged from the tent, seeing the flatbed truck empty except from some of the children now using what had been my bed last night as a seat. The cab was empty too and I could see no sign of Christian either.

"Mariat, have you seen Christian," I asked an elderly lady, one not much younger than Dembe. She was trying to keep the children playing outside her home together although she would probably have much more luck herding cats.

"He,… he down there" she told me pointing to further down the hill we were on before I felt a pull on the hem of the shorts that I wore.

"Hello young man, what can I do for you," I asked, squatting down in front of a boy who couldn't be more than four.

He held his arms out for me to pick up so looking to Mariat to make sure it was alright, I stood with him in my arms. With all the children running around, it is hard to know who has a parent here and who has not. I didn't want to offend anyone by holding their child, seeing the smile that was now on his face though would've been worth any trouble if it came my way.

Ekon, I found his name was, was happy to cling to me when I went in search of Christian as Mariat confirmed he was one of the many children she looked after, some whose parents had left in search of food, of water or were hard at work already planting the seeds that I brought. I found Christian like I had seen him most of the time while we've been here, helping out with the locals and doing anything he can.

Anyone can sign a cheque and think they've helped out with a cause but being knee-deep in the dirt as he was now, helping to mend the side of one of these houses even though he was surrounded by children and the woman whose house it was, it didn't stop him from achieving his task.

"How long have you been stood there for," he asked, turning to me with grubby hands and mud smears on his face.

"Only a few moments, long enough to know you belong here more than in an office."

"Out here," he asked taking hold of Ekon who held his arms out to him.

"Out here, out anywhere. Living instead of hiding away."

"I like living," he replied before placing a kiss upon my lips before a laugh left his own when Ekon started to play with the mud on his face.

I loved the Christian that was stood before me now, the one who didn't hide away, didn't care how he looked. The one who wanted to help with no chequebook insight.

The woman thanked Christian profusely for fixing the hole in her house, one that should we ever be gifted with rain, would've let it in.

"Have you eaten?" Christian asked me.

"A little that was brought in to the hospital tent for us by some of the locals, sharing their own food what little they have is such a big thing here," I told him as we walked back in the direction of the truck, Ekon still held in one of his arms while the other was wrapped around me.

"I know, the lady whose house I helped fix, gave me a bowl of rice. At first, I thought about telling her to eat it herself as I didn't want her to go hungry but I thought I might offend her if I refused her gift."

"They have so little and what they do have is precious. When I get back to uni, the fundraising will start again to get more aid over here."

"Ana, this sounds strange even to me as I've been away from it for so long but I have money, so much of it that I didn't know what to do with it before, now I do. I don't want to take anything away from your fundraising but I can send whatever they need back here."

"I know, and I don't have a problem with that, it might save me from sitting in a bath of cold custard all day. You could do it instead, or even better a bath of baked beans, no that sounds stupid when I think of the waste. All I'm saying is that even you've seen while you've been here that sometimes all they need is encouragement, a little help to fix their homes and the knowledge of the best way to prepare the earth and plant their crops as money here is useless with no stores and nothing to buy. You will also find should you want to take part, that fundraising can be fun too."

"I look forward to it then Ana," he told me, placing Ekon down who then ran towards the others, gaining his bowl of food too while we both received back his smile.

Christian stayed with me for the remained of the afternoon, helping Philipe and I pack up before the two of us were soon on our way back to Dembe's for our final few days there.

…

"Where are we going," I asked as the walk Christian and I had been on started to become a climb.

There were no ropes involved today, not like when I had abseiled or bungee jumped for charity. Today's climb led us up to the top of the large hill behind the town, leaving my team with Dembe in the distance.

"Have you not been up here before?" he asked me as we took a seat on the blanket we had brought, one that made the thinnest of barriers between us and the soil and dust beneath.

"No, I usually stick to the town," I told him. "It's not advisable for a woman to go off on her own around here."

"You were going to go and meet Philipe on your own" he stated.

"No, I wouldn't have. If you had chosen to stay behind, Jasper was going to come with me."

"I'm glad I came," he told me before placing a kiss upon my lips.

"So am I" I mumbled before our kiss continued until we needed to take a breath.

"Two more days" he stated sadly.

"I know, it feels like a lifetime since we've been home. I miss Grandma even though I've spoken to her often and she tells me she's doing well. We might have some new additions when we get back."

"What, who," he asked.

"The girls are due to have their cria soon."

"Cria?" he questioned.

"Yes, the alpaca's babies. Grandma said they have yet to give birth as the weather's been miserable and they will only give birth when it's fine."

"How can they choose when they give birth," he asked.

"Alpaca's only have teeth on the bottom. Unlike a sheep with a lamb, or most other animals, alpaca's cannot lick clean their young so for the cria to survive they have to be born during the day, a nice day is preferable and be dry long before night-time otherwise they will need bringing inside. Our girls could predict the weather because when they've had cria in the past if they're not interested in giving birth, it's going to rain."

"I wouldn't mind a bit of that rain now," he told me wiping the sweat from his brow.

"I don't think you will be the only one here who thinks that."

Christian opened the package he had brought with us, pulling out our water bottles and a little food.

"When we get home I will treat you to all of your favourites, especially dessert but for now, this is what we have."

"A feast then" I stated, taking the little tub of boiled rice from him that had some of the vegetables mixed within. This had been our meal most nights while we've been here, and even though I was looking forward to going back especially to grandma's favourite meals, I told Christian to take it easy as his stomach will take a while to get used to rich foods and if like me, too much too soon could repeat on him.

"Dembe said something about our last night."

"Yes, a celebration," I told him.

"What does this celebration entail," he asked as we lay back on the blanket.

"Food, a little music, dancing, a few tears because we will soon be saying goodbye, those are usually from the children as well as me. Telling these people here no matter how old they are that I will be back as soon as I can may be months to us but to them when you live like this it's a lifetime away. That's why the fundraising must begin because even though I might not be here, they still need to eat."

"I've already spoken to Ros, the next shipment of aid will be arriving on the plane which we will be leaving on. I sent it back last week."

"Have you told Dembe?" I asked unable to control my smile at what he'd done.

"Yes, I made her cry."

"Me too," I said, as I brushed away a happy tear. "Dembe's an amazing woman. She was taken away from all this but chose to come back to help in any way she can. I'm glad we can help her."

"You're an amazing woman too Ana, all you've done."

"It's only the start," I told him.

"Well whatever you do, wherever you and your work go from here I want to be a part of it."

I was unable to stop myself as I threw myself at him, so happy that he was here and sharing this journey with me. Crashing my lips to his, all talk ended except for four small words that meant everything, "Make love to me."

He pulled back, his eyes looking into mine, imploring me to be certain that this is what I wanted.

"Are you sure?" he asked seeing the nod of my head. "There is no protection here Ana, what if I get you pregnant again."

"There is always the risk, although if my dates are correct as they regularly are, now is not the time. Should it happen again whether by some miracle now or in the future though, I know you will be with me throughout, I won't be on my own" I replied, stroking his cheek with my fingers.

His lips met mine once more, as what few clothes we wore in this heat were removed. Under the late afternoon sun which faded away showing us the stars up above, Christian made love to me.

….

I had come to Africa, happy that I was helping others, bringing aid and watching the work that I had done in the garden here flourish. For now, the water continued to flow from the tap outside, each drop as precious as before.

I will be leaving in the morning sad to be saying goodbye to those here I call dear friends but I was also leaving happy. The love had always been there between Christian and me but the words had been spoken now and there were no barriers in our way and that love had never been felt more than when we had come together last night and the tears that had been shed between us of what we had now gained but also lost had flowed freely.

Christian did not hide his emotions from me, he did not push away his tears when they fell as we stood in the memory garden looking down at the stone that represented our child, one he had just placed a kiss upon next to mine. I hope the bulbs, the flowers that I had planted in this garden did grow, flowers not only for our child but all others that were remembered here.

"Are you ready for a party?" I asked as we walked back towards the building, hearing the music coming from the other side.

"I am, I never thought joy would be found in such a place as this, one that goes without so much but there is so much here I've learnt as I've cherished every smile I've received."

"This place will stay with you long after we go home," I told him, as he stopped me just before we entered the main yard where all the others seemed to be having some fun.

"It will, especially the moments we've shared."

Christian brought his lips down to mine with only the briefest of touches when I heard Jasper shout.

"Put her down for just a minute and come and join the fun" he called out laughing as he was being used as a horse by the children.

"You're only jealous as you never get the girl" Libby teased him before Fyor who was clinging onto Jaspers back laughed loudly when they took off after her.

"Come on Ana, let's go and have fun" Christian smiled as we joined the group.

I laughed, I danced and I cried, all things to do here on a final night. Sanyu got Christian up, showing him some real African dances while I filmed it all arm in arm with Dembe. I felt like I was leaving one Grandma to go and see another but I know whichever I'm with, the other will be just fine. I will be back here soon enough but until then I do so with the knowledge that all who enter those gates, will be looked after, loved and fed.

**Thank you for reading, reviewing and following my story. They are back to Seattle next chapter. **

**I know I said in an earlier chapter that my posting schedule will be Monday and Friday but as the world has gone mad, I may not be able to stick to that. **

**I will try but as a mother of four, two who have special needs and the schools now closed, my attention will be taken with them so please understand if the chapter's a day or two late, it will be there eventually. **

**Wherever you are in the world, please stay safe.**

**Until next time, take care.**

**Caroline. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everyone, I hope you're all safe and well. **

**This was originally going to be chapter twelve, jumping from their night away from camp in eleven where I had them making love on the flatbed truck to going home in this one. It all felt rushed though and parts that I wanted to write were missing because they didn't fit in there so that's why the last chapter was written and why there are two Ana pov chapters back to back before we go back to Christian in the next one. **

**Enjoy x**

APOV

"Are you sure?" I asked Christian on our flight back to Seattle.

"Of course, they're important so must be shown."

Nodding, I smiled as I emailed the photos I had taken on my trip to Michael who would upload them to the university website which then would be seen by many different organisations that not only shared a love of agriculture but also the charities that Dembe worked with around the world. I had done this on all of my other trips, documenting the results and receiving many questions back about our work. The photos I have just uploaded though were different from others that had come before because they also contained images of my team, of everyone who had gone with us, especially the man by my side.

"How long until the press gets hold of those photos" Libby laughed.

"About five minutes after someone recognises Christian" Jasper replied.

They spoke the truth but anyone other than WSU and the universities that I share the results with, the charities also, would have to pay for the privilege to use them, all proceeds being used to buy aid which would be sent to Dembe and other places like hers that are in need.

"We will all be back home before anyone other than Michael sees them. I've asked him not to release them until tomorrow morning. I just wanted to make sure you were ok with me putting them up" I said, turning to Christian.

"Yes, my days of hiding who I am are over Ana" he whispered before his lips met mine.

We ignored Jaspers groan and the girl's sighs and giggles at witnessing our kisses, something they had all seen in the past few days. Grandma was so happy for me, for us when I had called to tell her but the one who had really celebrated and I mean popped a cork was Luke when upon hearing our news during our call, his words of about fucking time could be heard as well as that cork before his panic that the champagne was now all over his hotel room carpet, something that made Christian and I laugh as he ran to get a towel to clean it up.

I loved my boys, both in completely different ways and I was so blessed to have them back in my life again.

We had a smooth landing back at the airfield we had left which felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed with Christian and me but with everything else, nothing had changed at all. I still lived just outside of Vancouver Washington, still worked at the university where I will be starting back in just a few weeks time, while Christian's life and job were in Seattle. We will work everything out, Christian assured me even if he had to fly back and forth.

"What are you doing tomorrow," he asked me as we pulled through the gates of my home, passed the shop and cafe and parked around the side of the house.

"Feeding the masses, aka the animals. Giving grandma a break and probably fending off the press if someone sends them my way wanting information on you, none they will get from me though."

"Please don't worry about the press Ana, if they do come calling, I will have security here sorting them out."

"Christian, this is a farm shop, open for business every day. Having security here will turn people away. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. You're the donor for the university, that's well documented and that's the answer they will get if I'm asked as to why you accompanied me on the trip."

"And when they find out we're a couple," he asks.

"We'll speak about security then if the press becomes a problem. I don't want to hide Christian any more than you do even though I know what the headline will be" I stated as he brought his hand to my cheek.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no more sorry. We've started afresh, what happened before this trip is not important, what we do and where we go from now on is. The press will soon cotton on as to what is happening when they continue to see us together."

"And they realise how much you mean to me…. That worries me on another front too" he stated, taking hold of my hands within his.

"How so," I asked.

"Being in the business I'm in, there is always someone who is disgruntled, always someone who sees the money I have and will stop at nothing to get to it, which is why my family, my mother and sister especially have security around. Getting closer to home has made me realise more than ever, how I lived my life before."

"You're worried about this," I asked.

"About someone hurting you, always. I just got you back Ana, I can't lose you again."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere. We have to keep our eyes and ears open, communicate with each other about how we're feeling. If I feel threatened then I will tell you and then if it will help you sleep a bit easier, you can position a guard somewhere around here, somewhere hopefully out of sight. Now with regards to tomorrow, the main thing I want to do is.."

"Catch up on your sleep" he stated, feeling like me a little jet-lagged.

"As much as I can. Susie who is one of my younger students, who finished her first year before we left has been here to help out with the animals while I've been away. I might ask her to stay on a bit, give us an extra pair of hands until school starts up again. You have to go back, run your empire" I asked.

"Tomorrow maybe, my company can run itself for just another day." 

"Christian Grey, you slacker" I teased.

"You know me" he smiled, placing a kiss to my lips. One that had started chaste but soon turned passionate until a knock on the car window broke us apart.

Outside, stood my grandmother, a beautiful smile upon her face.

I had missed that face, I had missed being in this old woman's arms as she wrapped me up in one of the hugs that I loved and had missed so much.

"It is so good to see you my girl, and look at the smile on your face" she laughed, touching my cheek with her wrinkled hand. "It is good to see you too young man." 

"You too Rose" he smiled as he too received a kiss upon his cheek.

"Your hand," I said, taking Grandma's hand into my own. When I had left for Africa the cast was still in place, now it was gone.

"All better," she said, squeezing my hand.

"The cria," I asked her as we entered the house, the shop and cafe closed for the day now as darkness had descended.

"Not yet, I think they're waiting for you" she replied.

I tried and failed not to look outside and hearing grandma's laugh as she told me to go, I was soon on my way out of the back door, climbing the fence into the alpaca's field.

I was quickly surrounded because once Barnard had come closer, the girls gathered around. I had been looking forward to seeing them, so excited the closer we got to home. I was also looking forward to the hot bath I would be taking, once I had told each and everyone one of them goodnight.

"Are you staying tonight son?" Grandma asked Christian as we sat on the porch drinking tea, the only sounds now coming from the critters awake in the trees.

"I'm not sure, I don't want to impose," he said, looking to me.

"You won't be imposing and if you have someone drive from Seattle to pick you up now, it will be the middle of the night before you get home. I won't have you doing that, I have a lovely couch" she told him.

At her words, I nearly spat my tea out, my laughter bursting forth at the look on his face. She was teasing him, Grandma had told me she would do just that, winding him up was just as good as a clip around the ear.

"The couch will be lovely thank you. Ana and I have slept on a bed around the same size for the past month, so I'm sure we'll fit on that."

Grandma's laughter echoed across the yard, scaring an owl in the trees. She stood, patting him on the shoulder before flicking his ear and then went inside.

"You deserved that" I laughed, as he pulled me closer to his side before I rested my head against his chest.

"What did I do" he laughed.

"When I told grandma that I had seen you in Seattle after visiting Kate, she told me if I spoke to you again to give you a clip round the ear, obviously she decided to do it herself" I giggled.

"I deserve..." 

"Shush."

"I.."

"I said shush" I replied, crashing my lips to his so he couldn't apologise again. He did try though and I suspect he would again but I don't regret what happened between us that day, only the days that came after.

"We've just made out on your back porch" he whispered against my lips as I was now sat on his lap.

"I know."

"No mistakes, no regrets ever again."

It was Christian who brought his lips to mine then, our kiss continuing until exhaustion caught up with us and we went inside, sleeping not on the couch but in my nice and comfy, spacious bed, the bath having to wait until morning.

…..

By lunchtime the next day, all local news agencies were using the photos, the donations for the use of them building up. I had spoken to Michael not long after I had woken up, his reaction to seeing the results of the work we were doing out there, just as excited as mine. That was the main reason we had gone out there, to show that food could be grown in such a place as that, he didn't comment on individual people in the photos, just that we all looked to be having a good time.

"Yes Sam, that is all the story they are getting, for now, although a statement may come at a later date" Christian spoke into his phone, stroking the top of Mopsy's head as he stood on the other side of the fence.

Me, I was in the field with them all, having cleaned out the alpaca's bed and the other animals as well. I stunk but this was a smell I was used to, one that was familiar to me, the smell of sweat and animals was home and one Christian would have to get used to.

"Problems," I asked when he put his phone away in his pocket and walked around to the gate before entering. Christian looked just as relaxed as I had seen him over the past month, dressed just the same with his jeans and t-shirt but this time with my dad's hat upon his head.

"No, just the press wanting the story of why I was with your group."

"You sponsor the program" I replied.

"Yes, I think they're interested as it's so out of character than how they usually see me though."

"It is something they will have to get used to" I smiled as he was now surrounded by alpaca's while I continued my work.

"What's the difference between an alpaca and a llama," he asked, trying to solve the problem I have. Four alpaca's who wanted attention and only two hands.

"Size mainly. If a Llama was stood beside these, you would know the difference immediately, not just with said size but ears, face shape, temperament too. They both descend from the camel family so can spit" I said, laughing when Christian tried to step away from them, his problem though he had one on every side. "They will only spit if they see you as a threat Christian. Believe me, you would have known by now because Barnard especially, wouldn't let you stroke him as you're doing now or let you near his girls."

"Do his girls include you?" he asked with a smile.

"Of course, why do you think he puts his nose to my cheek every time I'm close to him."

"You look after Ana for me when I'm not around then boy," he said, running his hand through the wool at the top of his head. "Their coats are soft," he stated, running his hand then over Barnard's neck and back.

"They are, Grandma got them for me, I think as a pet not long after I arrived here as I told her I had been working with some previously. Some people keep them for their meat as well as their wool, we just use their wool, milk sometimes too."

"A pet" he laughed.

"Yes, some people have cats and dogs, I have alpaca's, pigs, chickens, goats and a cow."

"You have me too," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I do, can I keep you."

"Forever, if that's what you want" he whispered against my lips.

"Forever then" I replied before his lips met mine.

Kissing in the middle of a field of animals, to me there is no better place to be.

….

"Hey, Boo, what are you doing," Luke asked me that night on the phone.

Christian had gone back to Seattle reluctantly only an hour ago after Taylor had picked him up. It was back to civilisation for both of us and with no hiding no matter what the press know now of our trip, I was looking forward to the days ahead.

"Enjoying a cup of tea on the porch" a porch I had made out with Christian on the night before.

"You and your tea. While other teens were drinking alcohol and cola, you were always with your tea." 

"And what is wrong with that," I asked him.

"Nothing, nothing at all. It's just one of those things you don't think of as important at the time but brings memories back."

"I know, Barnard likes to pop a few balls and watching him with one makes me think of the way you and Christian would throw the ball back and forth to each other over my back yard."

"Barnard, who the hell is Barnard and does Christian know you have another man in your life besides us two."

"Of course he does" I laughed. "And you know perfectly well who Barnard is, you were feeding him and the girls when you came to visit."

"I know, I can't wait to see them again, who knew camels could be fun."

"Are you trying to be funny, they're not camels" I complained knowing like always he was teasing me. As much as his teasing sometimes annoyed me back in the day, it was one of those things I missed too.

"I know" he laughed. "I saw the photos, every news channel I turn to, they're on there."

"Wars breaking out in the world, disease spreading and the headline is Christian Grey knee-deep in the dirt."

"Everyone expects war to break out somewhere, that's just the way this stupid world works, disease and famine too, although you're helping to eradicate the last one. Seeing a man who is usually dressed to the nines, pressed suit and shiny shoes in jeans and t-shirt, sweating as he's on his hands and knees in the dirt or playing with children, it's news to these people."

"That's the Christian we know, the kind caring man that everyone should see. It's a good job that I didn't post the photos of him playing football with the kids, minus his shirt otherwise the internet would go into meltdown" I laughed, hearing his laughter through the phone.

"I suspect there will be more photos of you both out there than just the ones released especially if you come next week."

"Next week," I asked.

"Yes, my game. Christian always comes to the home games, preseason too. I thought he would've asked you."

"He has Luke and I will be there, sitting by his side." 

"The press will have a field day with that as no girl apart from Mia has ever attended a game with him before" he laughed.

"I'll be sure to give them a show then so that leech that has already come forward saying that she was on the trip with him knows who he's really with, me because he's mine. They may think I'm just one amongst many but when they continue to see us together they will soon realise the truth."

"You go Boo. I've seen that news article this evening, I've also seen the messages left by two girls that were on your trip."

"Libby and Hannah," I asked.

"Yes, they've hit back at the bitch, calling her out on her lies, asking her questions she wouldn't know the answers too. Everyone knows it was Africa you went to but not the actual part so she had no comeback. I think Christian's press office has said the same but being called out by two who were actually there has done more damage to her than GEH's statement could."

"They're good girls, young women who have done well and will continue to do well for themselves." 

"You taught them," he asked.

"I did a few years ago, and I'm very proud of that."

…

The stadium was filled to capacity, the noise deafening even in the luxury box or was it a suite I was now sat in. Whatever it was, Luke's dad Andrew was here, he just like the Grey's welcomed me ecstatically and beside Christian, there were a few of those Grey's here too.

Carrick and Elliot were here, Theodore too. He had been very emotional when we had first arrived as Christian had told his parents, his grandparents previously about our trip and the memory garden that was there. Had our child survived and been a boy, there would've been two Theodore's up here now, I also suspect Tilly would have been cheering Uncle Luke on too. They are here, they live in their father's heart and mine and they will never leave us.

With me being here though that didn't stop the teasing between brothers or between father and son as at the moment they were all trying to wind Christian up at him bringing a girl with him when the other ladies had preferred to stay at home. In truth, they were happy we were together and I think from the look on Carrick's face, proud too that Christian was not hiding behind the mask he put on previously for everyone to see.

My boyfriend, yes that's what he is, was relaxed, laughing and with his hand in mine which he placed many kisses upon it, my forehead, lips too, he was happy to show the real him.

"It's a lot different than watching this on TV," I told Christian as the Seahawks scored and the whole stadium seemed to vibrate.

"Just a bit" he laughed. "You will have to come to more games."

"I look forward to it" I replied, placing a kiss upon his lips before my focus was back on the game.

At half time we were up, the touchdown my monster scored just before the reason for that. While the crowd were entertained, we forwent the rich platter of food the others were eating, instead Christian and I tucked into the hot dogs that Luke had arranged when I had told him about what I normally do and eat while watching his game.

I was startled, nearly choking on my hot dog when Elliot stood before us and started to dance around.

"What the hell are you doing son" Carrick laughed.

"Just giving everyone a show."

We looked then to the large screen at the other end of the field which at the moment had an image of Elliot gyrating his bottom on, one which had no doubt been on Christian and me moments ago. The crowd seemed to be enjoying the show, cheering when he wiggled his rear even more before he took a seat beside his brother, both of them laughing, myself too, as our faces were magnified on said screen.

We ignored the camera, having no clue really where it was, instead I rested my head against Christians side when his arm came around my shoulder before he placed a kiss upon my forehead. That is how we sat as play started again and besides the time when I needed to use the bathroom, side by side, hiding from no one was how we continued to sit throughout the rest of the game.

When the stadium cleared out, Seahawks fans celebrating our win, we stayed in the suite waiting for Luke to arrive. There are always interviews after, especially for the people who helped win the game, Luke being the player that he was, was always there and today was no different as we watched those interviews on the TV inside the suite.

"Great game Luke," one reporter said. "You were down the field faster than normal, have you been working out more." 

"No, I was channelling Boo."

I nearly choked on my drink at his answer as never before has he said that name in an interview.

"Boo, what's that" another asked.

"I know," Andrew said behind me with a smile. "You had Luke and Christian on your tail so many times, they were determined to catch up with you."

"It wouldn't have been good for their image to know a little girl could run faster than them."

"You still can" Christian laughed. "Playing soccer with the kids, you ran rings around me and them to get the ball." 

"What can I say, I enjoy running. I do it at the university enough getting from my classroom to the greenhouses."

"Professor, who would've known that the little girl with her head permanently in a book or knee-deep in mud would've become a professor in a university" Andrew replied.

"I should've" Christian said, placing a kiss upon my lips. "It would've narrowed it down then to the places I needed to look."

We continued to watch the interview, watching as Luke got up at the end when the inevitable question came.

"Luke, you had some celebrities coming to watch you today, what do you think of that."

"Who, Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran, Adele, they were here" he teased, knowing all too well who he was asking about.

"I was speaking about Christian Grey."

"Who is here for all of my games" he replied. "You've never asked me about him before."

"Christian Grey, who was here with a young woman. A woman who he was not only close to but was also in the photographs that were released last week and at the university graduation he attended months ago. What can you tell me about her, then."

"Now you know I don't give out any details of my private life so I'm not going to give you any details about my best friends."

"You said friends as in plural" a female reporter stated.

"I did, didn't I" he replied before leaving the room giving out no other information than that.

When Luke joined us in the box, as usual, I was pulled into one of his hugs before he swung me around, leaving me dizzy as he moved onto Christian, hugging his best friend too. We spent a few hours there before leaving the stadium, the place quiet and eerie now that the crowds had gone. We would find out the next morning as I woke up in Christian's apartment that some of the press had stayed on too, publishing photos they had obviously taken with a zoom lens. Photo's mostly of me wrapped in Christian's arms, a few of me hugging Luke too.

Despite the questions they asked Luke, they knew who I was from the images I had released as my name was on the document sent out. They would also know where we had known each other from a long time ago because of the statements released by both my boys after the graduation photo. Despite the attention, we didn't hide away when Christian took me to his favourite seafood place that afternoon before I also took a tour of his yacht.

Christian was relaxed, happy and so was I and no matter what the press tried to dig up about my life, we would not allow anyone to ruin that.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Until next time, take care. **

**Caroline. **


	14. Chapter 14

CPOV

Our relationship was out there for everyone to see and comment on, Mia had just told me after I had been woken by my phone.

I had slipped out of bed not wanting to wake Ana only to hear my sisters excited voice on the line. I thought she would've been angry, I mean I was with some of the comments left on social media that she told me about, especially the one that Ana was just another in a long line of women. That was before people started connecting the dots, putting us both in Africa together, at the graduation, the way we held each other as I had done with no other and the fact that I didn't hide what I felt for her.

I loved Ana, and I always have done ever since we were little. Now though she knew just how much I loved her and I knew how much she loved me.

"Christian" I heard Ana mumble just after I ended the call, before she emerged from my bedroom, rumpled hair and sleepy eyes, looking as beautiful as ever.

"I'm here baby. Mia called and I didn't want it to wake you up, it obviously did."

"Baby… I like that" she smiled, stepping into my open arms. Placing a kiss upon my bare chest, she looked up into my eyes. "I didn't hear your call, I could feel you weren't beside me though."

"I wasn't far" I replied, placing a kiss upon her lips.

"I'm glad because this apartment is vast and I think I'd get lost if I had to find you in here." 

"I will give you a tour later, now though you still look sleepy so I suggest we go back to bed."

"I'm not tired" she replied.

"Good, neither am I."

I picked Ana up, throwing her over my shoulder before carrying my giggling girl back to bed.

"You have me just where you want me, what are you going to do to me," Ana asked, seductively as she lay where I had placed her in the middle of the bed.

"Umm, decisions decisions, what will I do," I said to myself, my finger on my chin as if I was thinking to myself. I wanted to make love to Ana, that's all I wanted to do so placing a kiss upon her lips, I removed the t-shirt of mine she wore, leaving my girl naked before me.

"You're still dressed," Ana said, rubbing her leg up and down my own which was still covered with my pyjama bottoms. They were swiftly removed, Ana's eyes now on my very erect member. "I'm so glad..."

"So glad of what," I asked, enjoying her moans as I kissed up and down each leg, bypassing where I really wanted to be for a moment as I kissed her stomach, ignoring those delicious breasts before placing a kiss upon her lips. "You were telling me what you're glad of."

"You're lips at the moment" she groaned as I circled her left nipple with my tongue before biting gently and then moved onto the next.

"Ana, you didn't answer my question," I said, unable to control my smile when she tried to push my head away.

"Stop doing that and I might be able to think straight then" she complained.

"Alright, I will stop now tell me what you were referring to."

"No, I've realised what I've said now and I don't want to dredge up the past again."

"Tell me" I whispered bringing my hands to her face.

"I just meant that I was glad that I didn't get a look at your penis that first night, you're so big, it would've terrified me."

"It might've been the second of clarity one of us needed, then I wouldn't have lost you…. No, I can't think like that, or maybe I should."

"Christian, you're not making sense," she told me.

"If we hadn't made love that first time then our child wouldn't have been conceived. I know they're no longer alive and you had to go through hell back then on your own but they were alive if only for a matter of weeks and to wish away that night..."

"I know, it's that double edge sword, that makes us realise we can't always have what we want and what we do have, we cherish. Another way to look at it is if I hadn't have left, would we be here now?" she asked me and I had to think for a second before I nodded, then shook my head.

"I've always had feelings for you Ana but I pushed them aside as I didn't want to ruin what we already had. I would've told you, I know I would've at some point but my behaviour, how I chose to live back then, I think you continuing to see that would've ruined us. After you left, all that stopped, not the hiding behind the mask though because by that point I didn't even know who the real me was any more so it was easier to continue being the bad boy everyone knew, besides Luke though I just pushed everyone else away. I could never get close to anyone again so that's when once I had finished with college, my mind went back to Bobby Northern's party and BDSM."

"Do you still need…." she asked, worry marring her beautiful face.

"No, I lost interest in that lifestyle a long time ago. At the time it appealed to me because I could gain what I needed without being touched, without the worry of them getting attached. Everything was written and agreed in a contract, what I would give them and in return what they would do for me. I suppose it's a bit like the women who I paid to be by my side when I had an event I had to attend…. Shit, I don't want to be speaking to you about this Ana, especially when we're in bed together."

"Would you rather we get dressed, get up?" she asked.

"No, I would just like to forget that part of my life ever happened."

"You can't wish your past away Christian, any more than I can wish away mine. Life happens and we deal with what comes the best way we can. I'm part of your past just as you are of mine, despite what led me to leave, I don't want to forget a moment we spent together." 

"You're my future Ana."

"As you are mine Christian. So much has happened since I left Montesano behind and even though you probably think everything in your life was bad back then, there must be some good too and I would like to hear about that."

"I will tell you and you can tell me also what else you've been up to besides alpaca's, feeding the world and your Grandma. I know we spoke about a lot of things when we were away but I want to know everything especially which of the bitches husbands made you uncomfortable."

"Not going there today, Christian," she said, putting her hand against my lips.

Ana didn't seem uncomfortable speaking about them as she had done before, she just didn't want to, she told me.

"If you don't want to talk, what do you want to do," I asked her.

"Welllll, I have my naked boyfriend beside me, I'd like to have some fun and forget about the outside world for a little while."

"What kind of fun," I asked, my smile matching hers especially when she pushed on my shoulder so I was laying on the bed and it was her now hovering over me.

"A little payback, I think."

Starting at my feet, Ana placed a kiss upon the top of them before placing kisses on my legs as I had done her. Just like I had done to Ana, she missed the part that needed the most attention, kissing up my body before reaching my lips. Here she left a searing kiss before making her descent down my body again.

I admit I did take a shuddering breath when she kissed each of the scars on my chest. Never had there been any fear of Ana touching me, not when we were little and certainly not now. There was no fear either, only groans of pleasure from me when upon reaching my cock, she took me into her mouth.

"Ana" I panted, trying to keep myself together so I didn't lose control and cum in her mouth.

"How long," she asked.

"What."

"How long has it been," she said and I knew what she was asking me. How long it had been since I'd had sex.

"Two days ago, with you," I said, groaning loudly when she nibbled the end of my cock. "Ana, fuck."

"In a minute" she giggled, the vibration bringing me closer to the edge.

"Ana, if you're asking me how long it's been since I've had sex with anyone but you, then it would be close to a year."

"Really," she asked, taking her mouth off me, giving me a moment of reprieve so I didn't blow my load.

"Yes and like I said they all came with a contract. You're the first woman to sleep in my bed, in this apartment in fact as for BDSM I used an apartment below that is now empty. You're the first woman who has really touched me, the only woman I've ever loved too."

"I love you" she whispered, smiling at me before a giggle left her lips, mine too, to be having a conversation with my cock against her cheek. With her next words though, I pulled Ana up my body, flipping her over so she was under me.

"Say that again" I whispered, my hands cradling her face.

"Before Africa, the last time I had sex was over ten years ago on Ray's back porch."

"No one else," I asked.

"No, never."

"Why."

"Why? You want me to sleep with others" she asked.

"God, no never but Ana you're beautiful, you should have men falling at your feet wanting to be with you."

"I've had offers, none I ever wanted to take up. Trust is such an important thing for me to have to get close to someone and I never found anyone who I was completely comfortable with, that I could trust to open up to except my boys. With not having you, with losing the only piece of you that I did have, I shut myself down from all others and besides when I was with Kate, I kept to myself. Kate didn't know about our baby until after your parents ball so it was a natural thing for her to want to go out clubbing on a weekend when we were at uni together but her plan to hook us both up always ended with her leaving with someone and me getting a cab home alone. When I found grandma, I finally found stability and a career that I loved. There was never time for anything other than a fling and I've never been interested in that so any offers that came were politely declined."

"Kate, she's now dating my brother."

"I know, how strange is that." she laughed. I just hoped Elliot knew what he was doing because Katherine Kavanagh seemed like hard work… "Speaking of Kate, her birthday is coming up next weekend so I will be back in Seattle then. A girls weekend is what she was planning but now she's with Elliot, I have no clue if that will change."

"What does a girls weekend entail," I asked, not liking the thought of Ana being dragged from bar to bar, club to club.

"Drinking which I don't do a lot of so I will be the driver, either that or we'll catch a cab. Dancing which I don't do a lot of either especially considering most days I'm on my feet and don't enjoy being on them all night too. God, I sound like a bore."

"No, you don't Ana. You enjoy other things apart from drinking and dancing, real things grown-ups do."

"I can think of one thing I'd enjoy doing right now," she said, moving her hand between us, gripping my cock once again.

"I love your way of thinking Professor" I replied before crashing my lips to hers.

I made love to Ana, still trying to take in the fact that no other has enjoyed being inside her, enjoyed time in her company romantically. I would make sure no one ever tried to put an offer forward again.

...

Walking hand in hand with Ana into the Mile High Club, I don't think I have ever been happier than to have her by my side. The paparazzi were outside like they always are as this is the place to be seen in town. We'd bypassed them though, ignoring their calls when they recognised the car as Taylor drove us into the parking garage. Now, walking past table after table of Seattle's elite to our private dining room at the rear, I ignored all that tried to gain a moment of my time having no interest in anyone other than Ana.

"Why were they all staring," Ana asked as I held out her seat.

"I own this place, and most come here because they know I do just to try and start a conversation with me. I should've thought better of where I brought you."

"Why, did you bring one of those women here," she asked.

"No, they were paid to attend an event, nothing more than that and none of those events have been held here. Luke's been the only one I've had dinner with here, most times though I come on my own just to enjoy the peace of this room, enjoy the food and especially the view."

"It is beautiful" she spoke, looking out of the window to the city below.

"It is, especially with you here."

She blushed, her cheeks a delicate shade of pink. Ana had never been able to take a compliment without blushing back in high school, then it was boys trying to get her attention, boys Luke and I made sure soon kept away. Now Ana was blushing at my words and that did make me smile as I placed a kiss upon her lips.

It quickly turned into a passionate kiss as I pulled Ana from her seat, holding her tightly in my arms. No one would come in and disturb us, no one would enter until I called.

"I'm going to be all hot and bothered" she laughed when my lips left hers. "My mind will be all of a muddle so I can't eat."

"We can't have that then can we," I said, pushing her chair closer to the table as she once again took her seat. "I like to see you eat." 

"You do, I've noticed that. I also noticed it back when we were kids. That's why when I saw you looking I always offered you some of my food." 

"Yes, and I always refused."

"I used to worry that you watched me with hunger, that your belly was empty but then I remembered the feasts that your mother put on at every dinner and thought it was more to do with your early years."

"I didn't watch because I was hungry Ana, more that I didn't want you to be. The way that woman was, I didn't want you to be hungry like the child I once was," I told her.

"Well worry no more Christian, I eat, probably too much sometimes, or too less when I'm busy at work or home. It all balances out, so please don't worry about me when it comes to food."

"Ok, one less thing to worry about then," I said.

"What else is there to worry about."

"Now everyone knows about us, probably a lot but I don't want to suffocate you with security, then again I don't want to leave you without."

"We've spoken about if I need to have security, and if I do and they're not up to scratch I have grandma who has a shotgun and is not afraid to use it. Plus I have an army of alpaca's who will shit, spit and probably trample anyone who they think of as I threat."

I couldn't stop laughing at her words. It's probably the fact she was laughing too as she spoke them or was it thinking of that tiny old lady, showing any trouble makers who is boss.

"We would've all been in trouble if Rose had been around when we were kids, our ears would've been sore." 

"Yes, and I certainly wouldn't have had to put up with Carla's crap" she stated.

"I agree, she may be small but I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of something more than a flicked ear. God help anyone who tries to take anything from your farm, they would be crawling out in pain."

"Not necessarily," she told me. "It would depend if they are stealing for greed, or out of need."

I smiled, nodding, Ana never wanting to see anyone go without. I called the waiter in then, telling Ana to order whatever she wanted. Steak with asparagus and potatoes is what she chose and deciding I liked the sound of that, I ordered the same thing.

Being in Ana's company, hearing her talking animatedly about what she had planned for her garden at home, not just for this year but the next, it was hard not to get drawn into the excitement. What worked at home or at the university was then transferred over.

As we walked out into the main dining room at the end of our meal, we were speaking about my company, about what I had been working on at the moment and what ventures in the future I would invest in.

We had been so lost in conversation, our focus on each other that I had failed to notice a group of women sat together, until the elder of that group stood up, blocking our way.

Ana knew something was wrong as my grip on her waist tightened, my body half in front of hers to stop any of them getting to her. Ana as always would not hide away and with her hand around my waist, she faced them head-on.

"Christian, lovely to see you. Its been so long" Elena spoke, trying to show all around that she was on first name terms with me.

She was put in her place when we walked past, ignoring them completely as we stopped by the elevators, waiting for one to arrive.

My focus was completely on Ana, my hand coming to her cheek, that was until out of the corner of my eye, a hand went towards my arm before Ana gripped it tightly pushing it and its owner away.

"Don't touch him" Ana spat at Elena, shocking her as Leila and Susannah came to stand on either side of their mistress.

Brushing herself off as if Ana had said nothing to her, Elena's words were meant for me.

"I see you've been away. I thought when the press reported your jet taking off that you were away on business when in truth you've been making a fool of yourself playing in the dirt."

"I have been away viewing the successful work Ana and the university has been doing. Getting to play in the dirt was a bonus."

"You have an image to upkeep" she spat, looking around to see if anyone was around to hear her words.

"No, he doesn't," Ana replied. "Out there for the world to see is the real Christian. I would say it's a shame you weren't privy enough to get to know the real him but being an ex-business partner of his and nothing more, why would he show you."

"Ana's right, you never knew who I really was, only what I let you see," I told her.

"I know you, I've helped you."

"You provided a service and you were paid to do it, just like anyone who signed a contract or NDA upon the way. I've should've gotten rid of you long before I did when I stopped financing the salons after I found you were stealing from the business. It was easier to continue the charade then, but not any more."

"You'll be back, when you get bored of her, looking for someone to be on your arm, or play in your playroom."

"You have no clue" I laughed, turning as two men approached.

I thought at first that they were going to speak to me about business but their focus was on Ana, both having smiles upon their face.

"Professor."

"Yes," Ana replied, shocked that someone had recognised her for her work.

"It is you, I'm so sorry if we're interrupting" the younger of the men spoke, the older being around my grandfather's age before he spoke too.

"We're so sorry for bothering you, we just spotted you and thought we would catch you, thank you."

"I'm sorry," Ana said as for a moment we both forgot about the fuming women stood around having no clue what Ana and these men were speaking about.

The older of the two, Marcus who's eightieth birthday being the reason they were here today, had attended a talk Ana had taken part in last year and was now telling her how transferring the ideas they had gained from that talk had worked on their farm.

"I'm glad I could help," Ana said, embarrassed as always at being rightfully praised. The two men were soon joined by the rest of their family who was all over the moon to be meeting my girl before they happily went on their way.

With them now gone, I could focus again on the problem and get rid of it. Speaking to the manager who I had gestured to approach, I informed him that under no circumstances are these ladies, and I said that in the loosest of terms to be granted entrance to my building again. Olivia had been moved department, nearly losing her job because of her incompetence to remove that woman from my pre-approved list at Grey House, I would not hesitate to make sure the same happened here if I heard they had entered again.

With security then, they were ushered into the elevator, all the while I turned my back on them, pulling Ana into my arms.

"Bitch" was a word Susannah called out as the elevator doors were about to close.

Seeing Ana turn her head to look at the women, her hand now resting on my chest, a thing all of them noticed, the final words were hers.

"Bitch, no, didn't you listen, that's Professor to simpletons like you."

**Hi all, this is posted a little later than usual but as I've said before being at home with my children, that's the way it will have to be. Add to that my partner who works in the care profession is showing all the signs of this terrifying disease and is now in isolation, I'm unsure at the moment when the next chapter will be posted.**

**On a story note, I was asked if Ana lost more than one baby as I put there and them when speaking about the baby in the last chapter. There was only one baby but with them not knowing the sex, I didn't want to refer to the baby as it. **

**Until next time whenever that maybe, take care and stay safe.**

**Caroline.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone, I hope you're all safe and well. I apologise for the very late posting of this chapter, but my home just like many across the world has been a living hell. **

**My partner caught coronavirus through his job looking after the elderly and after a spell in the hospital due to having asthma and struggling to breathe properly is now thankfully back home and on the mend. **

**Trying to keep the children safe and entertained as well as being worried sick about him and also waiting to see if he had unknowingly passed it on to us had taken its toll and for a while, I just needed a break.**

**I'm back to writing now with the little time I have spare and I'm hoping like everyone else that this disease never darkens my door again. **

APOV

"Oh my god, what the hell is happening," Luke asked, his shocked words making me laugh.

"That is the start of a life coming into the world" I replied as I stood close to Cotton as her cria started to appear.

Flopsy had had hers a few days ago, a male, the day perfect then as it was now. I hadn't told Christian or Luke his name and I wouldn't until this little one was born.

"Don't you need a vet here?" Christian asked me.

"No, if she'd had problems during her pregnancy then maybe but they've both birthed before, Mopsy too, their offspring going then to a farm in Oregon where they're all doing well. These two though will be staying here, we'll maybe bring other girls in when they're older if this one's a boy too so they can each have their own herd."

"Do you have enough room here for more" Luke asked.

"Of course, these alpaca are spoilt, they have more room than they need," Grandma told him before everyone went quiet as the cria started to appear.

Thirty minutes was all it took before our new arrival was on the ground before us taking its first real breaths. An hour before he was on his feet looking like Bambi, all spindly legs and long neck.

I stood out of the enclosure, leaving mother and son to bond while Barnard and the others stood close by. With Barnard now being the alpha male and with me not wanting to get the girls pregnant again any time soon, it's been decided we get the poor old boy done. It's either that or separate them and with how close they are as a herd, I don't think that would do any of them any good. For now, though the family unit will stay together unless he tries to mount one of them.

"What are they called" Christian whispered in my ear, his arms wrapped around my waist, keeping me close to him.

"Well, do you want to tell them or should I," I asked grandma who laughed, gesturing for me to tell my boys.

"Flopsy's boy is called Mike, and the new member of our family is Sully. Sorry boy's, you will have to share your nicknames now." 

"I think we can handle that" Luke laughed as we watched the others move closer to the new arrival, welcoming him to the herd.

While Luke and Christian helped grandma bring out lunch, something they quickly offered to do when I asked them if they wanted to help get rid of the placenta, I watched Sully from a distance checking everything was all right. I would weight him, keeping a check in the days ahead that he just like Mike was putting on weight but seeing him nursing happily from his mother, I finally turned away and headed over to the table that was now filled with food.

"Stop, whatever is running through that beautiful head of yours," Grandma said as I took a seat, my head though kept turning back towards the alpaca's enclosure.

Turning back toward the humans here, I took a glass of the champagne that had been opened to celebrate the birth.

"What are you talking about, nothing is running around my head" I protested after taking a sip.

"That's hardly likely. I think you plan, decide what you're doing for the next week, next month while you sleep" Luke laughed, especially when I stuck my tongue out at him.

I knew what grandma was speaking about as the thoughts had been running through my mind, the main one being that I couldn't leave.

It's Kate's birthday tomorrow and Christian had driven down to pick me up. The plan was to spend the day here with me before we drive back and much to my delight, Luke had tagged along. I know grandma is very capable of looking after the animals, she was doing it and with many more long before I came along. I think it's because before I came back together with the boys if I wasn't away on university business or in Africa with Dembe, I only left here to go to work or the store so being away for longer or anything other than that, feels like I'm abandoning my duties here.

Being with Christian had opened my life up to so much more, I wanted to be with him as much as I could but I wanted to be here too. I was still finding that balance but first I had to just accept that I couldn't be in two places at once.

"How do you split yourself in two," I asked.

"Very painfully" Luke replied making me laugh.

"You have two lives, my dear, just as you did before. Your life away and your life at home. Just like when you were in Africa, England and everywhere else you have visited over the years, we miss you here but know it's only for a short time. Going to Seattle for a day or even longer than a weekend if that's what you want to do is fine Ana, you need no one's permission to live your life. If there ever comes a day when you want more space, a place of your own, that ok to want that too. Just know that if you ever do find that place" she said, looking to Christian more than me. "Those alpaca's will be going with you. I for one am not putting up with that boy's tantrums and mischief for more than a month on my own."

I laughed at her words, laughing harder still to see six faces now looking our way as my laughter echoed across the yard. If things progressed with Christian and me and we ever did move in together, we would need that space because I couldn't raise alpaca's on a balcony and to be honest, I think I would go crazy living without open space all around.

I weighed Sully, Mike, again too while Christian and Luke helped grandma with the other animals. Watching Luke try and feed the goats who were more interested in chewing on his clothes had me in stitches.

"What's this" he called out escaping their pen, thankfully with his clothes still intact.

"What's what" I called back before I knew what he was speaking about when he pointed to the old oak tree.

"A remembrance" I replied, looking over to Christian who was starting to walk Luke's way. With a comforting pat on my shoulder from grandma, we joined them.

Just like in stone back in Africa, the letters T.R.G. had been carved into the trunk of the tree. I watched as Christian ran his finger over our child's initials before he looked to me with a sad smile.

"Oh, sorry, now I know what it means," Luke said as we turned to him. He knew our child's names just like the other members of our family.

"I wanted a permanent reminder of them here, just like the pebble for when I'm away. Somewhere quiet, somewhere to sit and think, if you can find quiet with all the noises around here."

"I like it" Christian spoke, pulling me closer to him as I rested my head against his chest, the sound of his heart one of the soothing sounds that I loved. Another sound filled our ears then, the sound of scratching, the sound of a knife carving into wood.

"What are you doing son," Grandma asked Luke as he started to carve into the tree with one of the tools he removed from the barn.

"Just adding to it, don't worry grandma, I won't ruin it."

We stood watching Mike and Sully in the yard, trying to ignore for a second what Luke was doing to the tree. Hearing his nervous words for us to turn around, I was unable to stop the tears that now fell.

Above and below the T, R and G, now there was an A and a C. Surrounding it all, bringing our family together within, was a heart.

"That is beautiful son" Grandma spoke, placing a kiss upon his cheek. Me, I left Christian's arms for a moment, hugging my best friend tightly before my kiss to his cheek joined grandma's.

"You need to add to it," I told him as I brushed my tears away. "Uncle Luke has to be there somewhere."

"I agree," he said before getting to work.

By the time he had finished, surrounding the large heart was the initials of all the family we held dear including Luke's own. Rose for grandma, even though her name was within our child's own, she too had her own heart. Grace, Carrick, Elliot and Mia, their initials were all on here as well as an F and an R, for Franklin and Raymond, my dads.

"Have you just broken the tree" Christian asked Luke of the marks that it now bore.

"The tree will be fine son," Grandma told him. "That tree will be standing representing our family forevermore, a real family tree."

Looking back at the tree as we headed towards the house, I smiled, not so worried about leaving any more because my family will always be here.

….

I said goodbye to Grandma before I climbed into the back of Christian's car, one that Luke was now driving. The press had appeared often since I was back being told by grandma that if they were not in the shop to buy something they could leave, or meet her guard. When one had refused to leave the lot outside, still trying to speak to me a few days ago while I had been working inside, he was introduced to Barnard who Grandma had haltered as if taking him for a walk. Barnard who had not taken a liking to those who bothered those he classed as his own, had then spat at the man who was quick to leave.

As I left my home behind, I was unable to contain my giggles, I blame Luke who had laughed first at the sign that now stood outside.

_**All press and those who do not come to buy, enter at their own risk. **_

Along with those words was a picture of Barnard, looking down on all those who approached the farm shop and by the look of the photo, it was taken in one of his grumpy moods.

"When did that go up," I asked Luke.

"While you were with Cotton. We all know about the press being intrusive and what had happened. Elliot made the board and I had the poster made from a photo I asked Rose to send me."

"I think you speak to grandma more on the phone than I do" I stated, seeing his smile in the mirror as I cuddled closer to my boyfriend.

"I've adopted her" he stated, as my head moved as Christian's body shook with laughter.

"I think it's more she adopted you, both of you" I smiled, receiving a kiss upon my lips from Christian as they both nodded their heads.

…

Getting out of the car at Escala, I groaned stretching my legs. It was a two and a half-hour drive and although the scenery was lovely on the way, I was so over being in the car.

"I need to find somewhere safe to leave the helicopter," Christian said, taking my bag out of the trunk.

"I'll second that" Luke replied, before lifting me off my feet.

"Luke" I squealed as he hugged me tightly before spinning us around. "I'm going to puke."

"Christian she's all yours" he laughed, quickly putting me down, my head still spinning while Christian's hands steadied me.

"Fine by me."

"Are you off then?" I asked.

"Yes, I can smell him from here" Christian teased making me giggle.

"I'm going home, having a long shower because I smell like a farmyard before watching some shit TV. I have to be up early tomorrow for practice, so there will be no late night for me. You behave tomorrow young lady, no getting drunk" he said, tapping his finger gently on my nose.

"Me drunk, and I thought you knew me well Luke. When have I ever been drunk."

"Well there is that, ok have fun and stay safe without this oaf."

"I will do, love you, big brother," I said, hugging him this time before I placed a kiss upon his cheek.

"You too, Boo."

I watched as he hugged Christian before making his way over to his car. Waving until he was out of sight, Christian and I entered the elevator and was soon heading up.

Entering the apartment, I smiled to Gail, Christian's housekeeper chatting with her for a few minutes while he caught up with Taylor now he was back. I had seen Taylor sometimes when we've been out, keeping a distance until he's needed. I was surprised that he had not followed Christian to Vancouver to pick me up but with Luke there and how protective he was too, I suspect extra security isn't needed with the two of them around. I also know that when neither of them is close to me, there is still someone close by. We had agreed upon that, the two of them and although I know their names are Ryan and Reynolds and had seen a photo of each of them so I wasn't startled should I see them around especially when term time starts, only grandma had spoken to them as of yet although they were not needed to sort out the trouble as Barnard had dealt with it.

"Would you like some tea, Ana?" Gail asked.

"Please" I replied before Christian took my hand, telling Gail to hold the tea for a moment as he led me into his bedroom, bypassing the bed and into his closet.

"You've had a clear out," I said of the empty shelves and rails down one side.

"No, more moved things around, I wanted to give you some space to keep your clothes. I know you start up at WSU again next week so your visits here will be few and far between but I still wanted, if you'd like to, keep some of your things here."

"You're getting flustered Mr Grey" I teased as his words got quieter towards the end.

"Maybe, that's because my words, my mind gets muddled whenever I'm near you. So much I want to tell you, tell you a million times that I love you but there is never enough time in the day."

"Once a day is enough for words spoken from the heart. I'll take quality over quantity any day."

"So does that mean that now that I have you here, if I make love to you for hours on end, you would enjoy that more than if we have a few, say, quickies in the shower," he asked.

"No, shower, bed, it's all quality with you," I said before a squeal left my lips as Christian threw me over his shoulder and headed into the shower, the freezing spray drenching my clothes before it started to turn warm as each item was removed.

The tea was definitely on hold as Christian fucked me in the shower before making love to me on his bed. No matter how we come together each time is as memorable as the one that came before.

….

The music was pounding, or was that just my head, my body too as I tried to keep up with whatever dance my best friend was trying to teach me to do. I would rather ride Spot naked at this moment than move my body to this music but Spot just like all of my other animals was miles away.

"Shit my feet hurt, I'm getting old" Kate groaned as we took our seats.

"You are, how the hell can you dance to music like this" I shouted to her at the exact moment when the song ended and the next one was about to begin, in other words, everyone around heard me. I didn't care, it was nice to hear myself think if only for a second.

"I can't, come on," she replied, getting her jacket on as I put on mine before we thankfully left the club and the noise behind.

"Are you enjoying your birthday?" I asked, linking my arm with Kate's as we ignored the noisy bars we passed in search of somewhere a little quieter.

"I am, thank you for coming down."

"My pleasure, I wouldn't miss your birthday. I thought you would've wanted Elliot to come along though."

"I see Elliot all the time, I don't get to spend that much time with you, especially girl time and I need a little of that after this week in work. Now come on, we'll go in here."

Kate led us into a bar, one that looked like Luke would spend more time in than my best friend as it held screens showing various sports from around the world.

"This place is so not you" I laughed as she led us up to the bar, some of the patrons in jeans, us girls dressed in heels.

"This is Ethan's favourite place when he's home so I've been here plenty of times with him. Besides, I thought you would've been here before" she asked, confusing me.

I was about to ask her what she meant when the bartender came over.

"Katherine Kavanagh, what can I get you," he asked, smiling at my friend. Turning to me, he looked from my feet to the top of my head before a whistle left his lips. "Forget about your drink, who's your friend and what can I get you my lovely."

"Franco this is my best friend Ana" Kate replied, rolling her eyes. "Ana, meet Franco, the gayest bartender around."

"A pleasure to meet you, my dear, your first drink is on me," he said, taking my hand before placing a kiss upon the top of it.

"Hey, what about me, it's my birthday" Kate protested.

"You get a free drink every time you come in just like you will now, so stop your complaining Missy. Now, where is that delicious brother of yours" he asked, not asking what drink we wanted he just started to make cosmos, what Kate had been drinking all night.

"You can have one, besides if you feel tipsy, I'm sure Christian will come to your rescue" she teased.

"This Christian is he hot," Franco asked.

"Incredibly so."

"And you didn't think to bring him," he said, turning to Kate.

"With you here, hell no. Be careful, you don't want to mess with her guy."

"But I love messing with guys" he sulked as our drinks were placed down before us.

Leaving Franco behind with his words of holler if we needed something, we stepped out onto the terrace, easily finding seats.

You could hear the noise from all that was around us, but it wasn't intrusive like before. I could hear my friend at least without having to shout.

"What's Elliot doing tonight," I asked, taking a tiny sip of my drink. I wasn't joking when I told Christian I didn't drink often and that was usually a glass of wine with my meal.

"I think he was dragging Christian out, the two of them sulking together because they weren't invited."

"I don't think I have ever seen Elliot sulk before, Christian many times but that was when we were kids."

"I forget sometimes that you have a past with my boyfriend."

"Kate, I have no past with Elliot," I said, spluttering on my drink.

"No" she laughed. "I meant that you've known him for a long time."

"In terms of years that I've known the Greys, yes but if you class it as how long we've spent together over the years, it feels like I've not known them for long at all. I spoke to Grace this morning, she was checking that Christian had invited me to the hospital tomorrow."

"The gala, yes she invited me too. She said Elliot would probably forget and like Elliot he did, did Christian ask you."

"Yes, we were speaking about it yesterday morning and then Cotton started showing signs of giving birth so all talk ceased about it. It sounds like it's going to be fun."

"Yes, more time that I get to spend with my best friend, plan with you too" she laughed.

"What are you planing," I asked, seeing the mischief written all over her face.

"Well my parents attended last years and much to my mother's amusement, my father got dunked."

"Dunked?" I asked.

"Yes, a dunk tank. If it's there this year, I plan on getting Elliot up there, maybe Christian would volunteer too."

I laughed, knowing what she was speaking about as we talked not just about tomorrow when I would see Christian again but of the days and weeks ahead. She was busy at work, showing everyone that she wasn't just doing the job she did because she was the bosses daughter. We also spoke about plans that I had for a few fundraising events that I was planning once uni started up again, all she wanted a part in.

We were laughing so hard that we didn't notice someone approach or the silly face this person was pulling until we looked down from the raised terrace we were on to the street below.

"What are you doing here," I asked Luke who had a brilliant smile upon his face.

"I should ask you that considering you're at my place."

"What?" I asked, looking up to the name over the door. Sawyers, I had not even noticed when we had arrived, only noticing the peace. Now I knew what Kate was speaking about earlier too. "If this is yours, does Franco know Christian then."

"Of course, he drools from the second Christian walks through the door until the moment he leaves."

"It's a good job he's not here then, otherwise Franco would be someone else I would be fighting to keep away from my man."

"No fighting needed Ana, the whole world knows Christian is yours. I suspect Franco does too, he's just in denial," Luke said as he now stood before us saying hello to my friend.

"Its good to see you again," Kate said, smiling at him.

"You too, its always nice to see the lady who asked one of my best friends if he was gay."

He'd said that at the exact time I'd taken a sip of my drink, his hand soon patting my back as I choked as well as laughed. Franco soon joined us, checking everything was alright before Luke told him our drinks were on the house.

"Are you joining us?" Kate asked Luke.

"I didn't want to intrude, I just wanted to say hello."

"You won't be intruding," I told him, seeing Kate's nod,

"Oh good" he replied, mischief filling his face as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a photo of us together, one he sent to wind up the boys.

"You're so mean" I laughed.

"What, I'm doing nothing. It's not like I planned to meet you here, I'm just letting them know that you're in safe hands." 

"And they will be down here like a shot" I laughed and I was right.

A screech of tyres announced their arrival, all plans for a girls night, off. We didn't mind, I didn't especially as we had so much fun.

The brothers joked, winding each other up, brothers not just Christian and Elliot but Christian and Luke too. None was left out, we were all relaxed, laughing and smiling, talking about anything and everything long into the night.

Even though the press were tipped off, arriving just as the rain started to fall, our party simply moved inside. No one was granted admittance into the bar then, no one who was not already there or deemed a regular.

I had a pretty clear head when we left in the early hours of the morning, having switched from the cosmos, or Cosmo as it was to the bottle of wine I enjoyed with Christian. Kate though could barely stand, but watching Elliot with her I knew she was in safe hands.

There was no goodbye, no calling a cab as we'd all had too much to drink than driving would allow. We simply called on our CPO's before heading home, together.

**Thank you for reading, we have the gala next time. It was supposed to be part of this chapter as it will be in Ana's pov too. I haven't had time to finish it yet though. **

**When I started writing this story, I had chapters written up until they were back from Africa and back together again with the chapter summary written for the few that came after where it was then due to end. As always with my stories, a new idea pops into my head to continue it so it carries on. If I'd known what had been coming it might have been best to end it at the original spot due to lack of time but I will carry on with the new ideas now until it is done. **

**Until next time, take care and stay safe.**

**Caroline.**


	16. Chapter 16

APOV

"I was getting used to a large bed and now we're back to small again" Christian groaned, pulling me closer to him as I once again slept on his chest.

"You could've had the large bed all to yourself" I stated as I started placing kisses upon each of the scars on his chest, starting with the one closest to my lips.

"And miss the chance of spending the night with you, never."

Lifting my head, I looked to the clock on the dresser, the time just after 9 am. We were in the guest room at Kate's where I was supposed to be spending last night alone but after our groups merged, there was no way Kate was going to separate herself from Elliot in her drunken state and I'd been in no rush to leave Christian either.

Luke, I think had taken the couch unless during the night he had decided to go home.

The bed we were in now wasn't a single as Christian was making out but compared to the king-size bed he had at Escala, this was considerably smaller. It was cosy though, as was any other bed that we slept in due to how close we were when we sleep.

"Kate was telling me all about this gala, and what will be there. She's looking forward to going, as am I."

"Ah more wasted hours spent with Katherine Kavanagh. Are you sure we can't ditch her once we get there" he teased, jumping when I smacked his chest.

"Be nice."

"I am, I was the perfect gentlemen to her last night, I even said hello."

A giggle left my lips at the serious way he said it. I don't know if Christian and Kate will ever be friends, especially as Christian liked his privacy and Kate was just nosy. As long as they tolerated each other when I was around, that was enough for me.

"What's happening today, before the gala I mean," I asked him.

"Well, I would like to start my day, making love to my girlfriend but not being in my home or yours, that doesn't feel right. Instead, I will settle for a kiss, one that will see me through the day until we're alone tonight."

"I like that, and tonight?"

"You're all mine" he replied.

He kissed my lips, just a peck, groaning as I licked his own. Christian was just about to deepen the kiss when we were disturbed by a knock on the door.

"Put her down" Luke called out from the other side.

"No, I refuse to" Christian shouted back.

"Are you ok Luke" I laughed.

"Yes, Boo. I'm just heading home to get changed, I will meet you all at the gala later."

"Alright, see you then" Christian called out.

"You too, and put her down."

We heard him laughing, Elliot too who banged on the door as he passed. Knowing we would not get any peace together until this evening, we did what the others had done and got up.

…

The field beside the hospital was vast, one that had a redundant helipad on the other side. Every inch of the field seemed to be filled with people, fairground rides too, stalls containing games you could play, while others sold food.

"It's like a carnival," Kate said, just behind us as we walked through the throng of people in search of Carrick and Grace.

"That's the general idea, babe" Elliot replied as we continued our search.

We found them, Christian and Elliot's grandparents too by a small stage, one that had a DJ on, who at present was blasting music out. The music seemed to have moved from the noisy bars we visited before Sawyers last night following us to the fairground. To be honest though, despite the noise, this place looked more fun.

"Hello, my dear" Grace said, pulling me in for one of her motherly hugs. I had missed them over the years as I had never received any from _her._

"Hello, Grace, Carrick" I spoke, receiving a kiss upon my cheek from him.

They said hello to Kate, although there was no hug or kiss from the Greys. This was nothing to be alarmed about and Kate certainly didn't seem worried about it. I had a history with this family even though we had been parted for many years. Despite them being welcoming to my best friend, the closeness to her would only come with time.

"Where's Mia, she said she was coming. She seemed excited, too excited I think when I told her we would be here," Christian asked.

"She has volunteered to man one of the games, one she's hoping you two will take part in" Grace laughed, nodding to Christian and his brother, before smiling to Luke when he joined our group. "You too…. put me down" Grace squealed as Luke lifted her up before spinning her around and then continued to do the same to me.

"Why do I think I'm not going to like whatever Mia is planning" Christian grumbled.

"Ah, son just like you've done with everything else since Ana's returned, embrace it and have fun" Carrick laughed as we watched Grace take to the stage with two men.

We were welcomed to the Gala by one, told to donate big by the other. Grace then declared the Gala open and told everyone just like Carrick had told Christian, to have fun.

Fun was something we were all having, well until the witch arrived. A witch who was welcomed by none.

"Grace, Carrick, how wonderful is this" Elena Lincoln spoke, her words as fake as she was because she looked and was dressed like she would rather be anywhere else than here. Here being the middle of a field, instead of some fancy restaurant or ball.

I heard the elder Grey's let on although she was ignored by the younger generation. Christian especially was having too much fun to pay attention to her and soon so was I as his lips met mine, joined together after we had eaten a hot dog from opposite ends, meeting in the middle.

"You two, I can't take you anywhere" Luke laughed, finishing his own hot dog off.

I'm surprised I was able to eat anything and keep it down after being dragged by Luke onto the Ferris wheel before. Going up wasn't too bad, coming down again was much better but having the seat rocked by him while we were what felt like miles up in the air, I had no doubt that those on the ground, by their smiles and laughter when we descended had heard my screams.

"It's you who I won't be going anywhere else with again" I complained.

"What, I only went on a ride with my best friend. I made sure to take you on before you ate something, I've got to get points for that. Plus, you two were away in Africa for July fourth, I had to make up for some of the fun you missed out on."

"I forgot about Independence Day" Christian admitted. "Out there it's a whole different world that nothing outside of that bubble seems to exist."

"I agree," I said before looking to Luke "I'll let you off as long as you go in the dunk tank. You've been avoiding it and Mia all day, you too" I said to Christian.

"Me, what have I done wrong" he protested.

"You had a millimetre more hot dog than me."

"A millimetre, that's a crime" he laughed.

"Of course, it is, plus you've been avoiding your sister too. She's bound to find you at some point, it's best to get it over with."

"I'll do you a deal," Luke told me. "Christian and I will go in the dunk tank, as long as you do too, Three best friends together."

"Umm, you do know that Ana will get all wet," Christian asked him.

"Of course, if the target is hit. That's the point."

"And you're alright with your girlfriend, our best friend walking around with a top that will no doubt become see-through."

"I hadn't thought of that" Christian replied, bringing his hands into fists to hit the first man who would look at me.

"Don't worry, this top won't be see-through so calm down. To be honest, I could do with cooling down and it looks like fun" I told them. "The three monster musketeers together" I spoke, placing my hand out in front of me, to which the boys quickly joined mine. Raising them with a laugh from us all, we heard laughter behind us from Grace.

"I haven't seen you do that for years" she spoke, a beaming smile on her face. The one stood beside her though looked like she had swallowed something sour.

"We can only do it when we're together," Luke told her.

"I so glad that you are" she smiled at him, to one she always classed as a son too.

"Is this where all the fun is" I heard spoken from behind us, as Christian whipped his head around before getting to his feet.

I didn't know who this couple was that now approached but from the way Christian looked at them with a smile filling his face, they must be important to him.

"It sure is" Christian replied, shaking the man's hand before after the briefest of moments he kissed the woman's cheek. I thought it strange until he introduced them to me as to why he waited.

"Ana, this is John and Rhian Flynn."

"A pleasure to meet you," I said, knowing now who these two were.

His mentor and his submissive, although as I see them now speaking to my boyfriend, speaking to me they acted no different than any couple here. Christian had waited for permission to kiss Rhian on the cheek, as was right he told me in their world but that was more because of the friend he was to them and the knowledge of how their relationship worked. Even though Christian had not been in that scene for a while, he still respected that others are, respected them but not the woman who continued to try and insert herself into our conversation with not much luck at all.

"Are we doing this or what?" Luke asked, nodding to the dunk tank.

"You're going in" John laughed when he asked Christian.

"Of course," he replied.

"Please Christian, never let this one go," he said, smiling to me. "If she can get you in there with all the press around, she can get you to do anything."

"No worries there, I don't plan on ever letting her go" he stated before placing a kiss to my upturned lips.

As we started to walk away, the woman desperate for attention who was losing her patience at not being included called out Christian's name as he finally turned to her.

"What," he asked, his voice raised just as much as hers which seemed to embarrass her, highlighting her desperate need for attention.

"Are you really going to bring yourself to their level. Wouldn't you be best suited to writing a cheque" she spoke quieter now, nodding over to the dunk tank where Elliot sat upon it, two children, one who was in a wheelchair, laughing loudly as they took it in turns to throw balls at the target.

"Their level, that's my brother who's having fun and I'm going to join him" he replied as the children cheered when Elliot hit the water. "Everyone is here to have fun, if you don't want to join in, I would suggest you leave."

With that he turned his back on her, his arm draped over my shoulder as we followed Luke over who was now talking to Kate and a very soggy but happy Elliot.

"I know she used to hire girls for you but why does she still keep lingering around, thinking she has a right to demand your time," I asked quietly before we stopped to have our photo taken by one of the official photographers who had been walking around.

"She was a friend of my mothers, still is in that my mother tolerates her at occasions like this. I think she thinks my mother owes her something because when we moved to Seattle, she was the first to introduce herself. Not knowing anyone around, my mother welcomed the friendship at that time. With regards to me, she helped me with submissives and escorts as you said and in return for a while, I helped get her businesses, her salons off the ground. I have nothing to do with any of that now, I pulled my backing a while back, something I think she has told no one about as she certainly made it known to all that would listen that we were in business together at the time. If people found out, I pulled it because she was stealing, they would see her in a different light, the light I see her in."

"Are you sure it's not her children she was interested in to start with, not Grace. I've seen the way she looks at you."

"Ana" he spoke, turning me to him before we reached the others. "Nothing has ever happened between her and me, that would be..."

"Disgusting, sickening..."

"And every word in between. When I was mentoring with John, we visited a few clubs around the city, BDSM clubs and in one of them, she was there. We were both shocked to see the other there, and I was concerned at the time that she would open her mouth to my parents. I needn't have worried as she has more to lose than I did. BDSM isn't a crime no matter how some people would look down on it but with her, she likes them young."

"How young," I asked, worried for a second that she had tried to get to Christian when he was younger before I remembered his family were still living in Montesano when I left and there, she was nowhere in sight.

"They're legal as you have to be twenty-one to get into the clubs we were in but some of the subs I saw her with there, made me question if their ID was right."

"Please don't tell me she's been messing with kids because as a human being, never mind being a teacher, I will report her arse in a heartbeat."

"No Ana, not kids, although one looked like he was barely out of school. He could've been older and he just looked young, I don't know, I was young myself and didn't stay around to ask."

I looked back to her now, seeing her speaking to a man who had his back to us. I didn't like that woman at all, but now facing the dunk tank, I forgot about her as Luke took a seat.

"Who gets to throw the ball," Christian asked excitedly, picking one up.

"Only the children can," Mia said, taking it from him and gave the ball to a young boy.

The boy, stood with a frame, a woman nervously standing close by as if to catch him should he start to fall. The first ball he threw, was feet away from its target, the second further still. My heart melted then as Christian knelt down beside the boy, speaking quietly to him before he showed him how to aim the ball and within seconds the bell rang followed by a splash.

I laughed, seeing through the glass in the tank, Luke underwater. He was pulling funny faces which had the little boy in fits of laughter.

"Thank you," he said softly to Christian.

"You're very welcome, young man."

"Christian you're up" Mia shouted.

"Oh, wonderful, I'm so looking forward to this" he replied sarcastically but from the smile and the wink he gave me, he really was.

Handing his phone and keys to me which joined Luke's in my purse, Christian took a seat.

If I thought the press who were in attendance were interested in taking photos of the Seahawks quarterback, it was nothing to when Christian got up there.

I could see Taylor who as always was close by, I suspect others in his employ were around as well today with this many people in attendance. None we would know about though, they had all blended in.

"I bet you wish you could take this shot" I called over to him, seeing a smile appear on his face.

"I could not possibly comment on that Professor" he replied.

"Couldn't comment, or won't" I laughed, hearing his own.

I watched as a little girl came up and was handed a ball, she was tiny, maybe four or five. She had a feeding tube up her nose but she didn't let that bother her as she threw the ball.

"Close" Christian called down to her with a smile.

"I'll get it" she replied.

The next ball went a little further away, her last ball missing as well.

"Kate, hold this for me," I asked, handing her my purse.

"What are you doing."

"Helping" I replied. "She was close with all three, I'm sure a bonus shot is allowed," I said to Mia, stepping up to the little girl. "Can I help you?" I asked her and her parents, all who nodded.

I reached out my arms to pick her, hers she held up to me. With the ball in hand, we walked closer to the target until we were only a foot away.

"You're not allowed to throw the ball, Ana," Christian told me, a beautiful smile upon his face.

"Don't worry, I'm not….. Throw it now" I told her, nodding to the target which at how close we were, she couldn't miss.

She cheered as the bell rang before I rushed back from the tank as we both squealed, laughing as the water came over the edge before I placed her down in front of her parents.

"Again, again" she cheered.

"Well maybe you can get me in, I'm next" I replied, leaving the happy family as I took a seat.

I could see everyone from here, see my soaked best friends itching to pick up a ball and throw it my way. Mia was in charge though and she was determined to only let the children throw the balls today. They may have help and many came to throw the ball but with three children's turns gone, none who hit the target it was my boys who took charge.

The three who had taken turns, the little boy who Christian had helped and the little girl who I had too, now stood a few feet from the target, all with a ball in hand and an adult who was ready to move them quickly out of the way. I knew it was coming and I welcomed it on this hot day so as five balls hit their mark and the bell rang above me, I was quickly cooled.

"I need to get one of these" I laughed, climbing the ladder to the top of the tank.

"What, to wash off after a day in the farmyard" Luke laughed as I took his and Christians offered hands and with one hand in mine and their other under my arm I was helped down to the ground.

"No, fundraising at uni. I'm sure there are a few professors there I could dunk for charity."

"Let me know."

"Us know" Christian added to Luke's comment.

"Yes, let us know where and when and we'll all take part," Elliot told me before proceeding to soak Kate with his wet clothes.

"Can we please have a photo of this?" one of the press photographers asked.

We were soaked to the skin, hair stuck to our heads and a smile on each of our faces. None of us shied away as the photo was taken though not just by the man who'd asked and the press in attendance but also others around. Front pages around the country no doubt would be showing that picture tomorrow but none of us cared about that.

"That was hilarious" Carrick laughed as we joined them again.

"Your turn Dad," Elliot said.

"No thanks, who do you think Mia used as the guinea pig to try it out, me and then your mother had a go."

"You never went on that Grace," Elena asked, her voice filled with shock.

"I did, it was fun, refreshing too" she laughed.

"It's certainly that, although my clothes are stuck up in all the wrong places" I giggled.

"You would never get me" Elena spluttered.

"What, taking part, giving to charity," I asked.

"I wrote a cheque."

"Ah, the cheque. It's so easy to write a cheque and forget about it, think that's all that's needed to help out. You will find it's more rewarding, more enjoyable to physically do something that helps others and after you can think, I did that."

"I certainly did, I wouldn't have missed Africa for the world" Christian said, placing a kiss upon the top of my wet head.

"So, what do you say Elena," I asked smiling.

"If Grace says it's safe to do it," she said although she turned to Mia, willing her it seemed to say no it wasn't safe for her to do. Her words though had Elena heading for the ladder in a huff.

"I was only saying I'm not sure, with your ageing years and the lack of exercise you do..." Mia called after her retreating form, unable to keep her laughter in.

"Please let me have a go Mia," Christian asked his sister who just laughed as she shook her head.

"It wouldn't be fair, only children."

"We're all someone's child Mia," Luke said, having his hand swatted away as he reached for a ball too.

It was a teenage boy who stepped up after his sister had missed the target, something Elena found amusing, that rang the bell. Seeing her plunge into the water, emerging with her hair, coving her face, laughter filled the air.

"Well the witch might not be dead but she's all washed up" Christian whispered in my ear, making me laugh harder especially when Luke's screech of "_SHE'S MELTING" _filled the air.

She had smiled to the camera's, making sure that they knew she had taken part. No one bothered to help her down though, and I doubt she stayed much longer than that.

We all had a good time, enjoying every moment of it as we slowly dried off throughout the day before being dunked again, by each other this time as the sun went down.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Until next time, take care.**

**Caroline.**


	17. Chapter 17

CPOV

I've never underestimated the power of technology in the past, especially now as I see the woman smiling before me, one who was not in the next room or even the next state but was a few continents away, a few worlds away if you compared where she lived to where I did. I will never underestimate the power of people again either, especially those who have so little but can achieve so much.

"How is Beauty," Dembe asked me.

"As beautiful as ever," I told her, unable to control my smile when I thought of my girl. "She's started back at the university now, teaching the next generation how best to work the land."

"Ana was born to teach others, she has that, that…. She speaks from the heart, is passionate about what she talks about and has that natural ability, that's what I was trying to say before. The natural ability to pull people in. She gets them interested in what she has to say, even if they weren't before they entered the room."

"I agree, how are things there. The items that left here last week, have they reached you yet."

"Yes, they are filling many mouths and bellies, not forgetting the minds to how best to help themselves. I thank you, there are thousands here that thank you as well, Christian."

"It's Ana's work, I'm just helping as much as I can. That's why I wanted to speak to you, find out what more I can do." 

"You could pick up a spade, plant some seeds" she teased.

"I wish I could do that, spend some time in the memory garden."

"It will always be here Christian, whenever you want to visit." 

"We'll be back," I told her, probably sooner than either Ana or Dembe realises, if things go the right way.

I ended my video call with Dembe after we had spoken about the project her town was doing to get proper sanitation that could do with some more funds, funds I assured her they would have. Pulling the file I had been working on from my drawer, I headed over to the couch and spread the papers from the file out on the coffee table before me.

So much had changed since Ana joined me in my office and we had sat nervously on this very couch, so much had changed for the better.

There are still something's that never change though, some people who would like nothing more than to knock me down a peg or two and they are happy to take anyone with me on the way, the gutter press, the Nooz, in particular, leading the way. They believed the lies that were put out, revelled in the stories they published about me being with a different woman every night. Being with one woman, the only woman I have ever loved was of no interest to them so they continued to dig and were now being slapped with a lawsuit for continuing to write lies about Ana, those amongst others that said she was only with me for the money I had.

Anyone that knows Ana knows that she is interested in nothing like that and if I gave to her every penny I had, she would only give it back.

"You're so lost in thought that you didn't hear me enter, that's got to be a first" Ros spoke, making me jump. She was right as I had been reading and rereading the papers before me.

"Shit Ros, knock next time." 

"And miss you jumping, no thanks" she laughed. "T. R. is this a new company you're pursuing," she asked, seeing the initials at the top of the page.

"No," I spoke quietly, pulling the papers together before placing them into a pile on my lap.

"What is it," she asked as Andrea entered with my cup of coffee before I asked them both to take a seat on the chairs before me.

They knew about Ana, about my trip to Africa but up to this point, neither knew about my child. I wanted something in addition to the memory garden to remember my child by, something that in turn will help others. Don't get me wrong, I love the pebble, the initials on the tree that are there, I just wanted to add to it. To do what I planned though, I need Ana to agree.

"I want to set up a charity, one that helps the underprivileged including helping girls go to schools who live in far off countries, to helping those who need that bit of help here. I want to put food on the tables of those who have none, create jobs for those who are desperate for someone to just give them a chance. We have job openings in many of our companies, all with experience needed written in the advertisement, I want that removed. None of us started a job, knowing every detail. So many have the skills out there, they just need the opportunity, for someone to have faith in them. In Africa..."

"That place changed you," Ros said, smiling at me.

"More than you could ever know. I met people there, Akiki, he must be close to my father's age but he was still fixing things around the home, still carrying heavy loads and was always eager to learn more. Youth is something we've always looked for especially when it comes to IT. job opportunities, the bright minds of the future, the freshest faces straight from the classrooms. It shouldn't be like that though, age shouldn't be a barrier to achieving a good job even if someone has to take the time to teach them the skills first. Eagerness, punctuality and a thirst for knowledge are what I want to be looked at first when we employ people in the future."

"Are you sure?" Ros asked.

"Of course."

"Good, when I leave here, I will be employing a proper assistant."

"What's wrong with…. what's her name" I asked making her laugh.

"Paige. She's shit at her job and can't go to the copier without stopping for a chat at the coffee machine first. When you started this company, you wanted it to be fresh and new as there was nothing remotely like GEH around and the work we do. Bright minds you always told me and maybe I was wrong but I interpreted that as young and someone always on the go. A couple of months ago, when I was interviewing for the job of my assistant a man came in. He was lovely, very knowledgeable and didn't jump or run when I shouted at Clara who you know was leaving and told her to do her job. He just raised his eyebrows, ignored my tantrum just like Andrea here does with you and waited for me to continue. I didn't employ him as at the time, I didn't think he would fit into the company as well as some of the others I'd interviewed. It was that and the fact that he had just finished treatment for cancer and with how fast the pace can be here in this building, at the time I thought it might do him more harm than good."

"Call him, speak to him and see if he is still interested in the job if you think he can do it. I apologise if you've let people go because they didn't fit into the mould that I had set for this place, truth is it is all part of the facade to hide the man you see now." 

"We realised that a long time ago Christian," Andrea said. "We've seen you even when you haven't been able to see yourself." 

"She's right you know" Ros agreed, "Now who or what is T. R. that is written on those papers you're holding tightly in your hands."

"Theodore Raymond or Tilly Rose Grey, my child" I admitted, stunning them both.

"Your child" Andrea whispered.

"Yes, mine and Anas…. They're no longer here, Ana lost our child when she was seventeen. I didn't know until I found her again, didn't know she'd been to hell and back on her own. Even though they never grew to take their first breath, I want there to be something of them if only in their memory on this earth."

"I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry and how can I help," Ros asked.

"How can we help" Andrea added."

"I need to speak to Ana first as this is just an idea at the moment that has been running around my head but I would like to set up a charity, a foundation of sorts in my child's name."

"Anonymously," Ros said and I knew what she was asking.

To set up something through my company, something associated with me will bring forth questions of who T. R is. Anonymously would be easier even though most charities need publicity to survive. I had more money than I would ever need though and could fund anything I desired.

Would that be hiding though, I didn't want that, I'd done enough of that throughout my life. I needed to speak to Ana, hear her thoughts on my plans because T. R. wasn't just my child.

"I'll let you know" was my only reply.

I left work, heading home to an apartment that was too quiet. I planned to leave early after a meeting tomorrow, arrive on campus and surprise Ana before she left for the day. One weekend in Seattle and one weekend at her home was how we were managing things at the moment, something Rose loved. While I was there and Ana tended to the animals, the shop as well as going through her students work, Rose was finding all the little odd jobs she thinks as a man I should be able to do around the farm, the home. As of this moment, apart from trying to fix the outdoor tap that was still leaking, one that gave me more than a shower much to the ladies amusement, I got stuck in and fixed and mended it all.

I was unsure at the moment if Rose just enjoyed having a man around the house or if she was making me prove in the little things that she asked me to do that I could look after Ana. Not look after her in the monetary sense but in the lifestyle, Ana chose to live. To spend my life with Ana even if that was knee-deep in the dirt or shovelling animal shit, I welcomed it all.

"Would you like a glass of wine with your dinner?" Gail asked, placing my meal before me.

"No thank you, just the water" I replied as she quickly returned from the kitchen and placed the cooled bottle of water and a glass before me. "I will clear away once I'm finished, go and enjoy dinner with Taylor, Gail."

"Thank you" she replied, not needing me to repeat that she was relieved not just for this evening but until I returned from Vancouver on Sunday.

I was eager to speak to Ana with no interruptions from anyone but as she was back at work now and once the day was done would still spend time in the greenhouses before going home to spend time with the animals, I would wait for her call.

Thankfully I didn't have to wait long as her breathless voice came down the line.

"Ana, are you alright, what's wrong," I asked, worried at how out of breath she was.

"I'm fine, I've just been running around the yard."

"What, don't you get enough exercise during the day going back and forth between buildings."

"I do, but we had an uninvited visitor here."

"What's happened, are you ok," I asked.

"We're fine, now. I don't think I've ever seen grandma move so fast. Remember that image of grandma with a shotgun, yeah I just saw that now." I wanted to laugh at that image but I was too worried about what had gotten them both out of the house in the first place. Thankfully Ana quickly continued explaining. "I'd put the alpaca's to bed, made sure all the other animals were alright and I was just making a cup of tea for grandma and me when I heard a racket from the barn. I opened it up, nearly getting knocked over by Barnard and the girls in their need to escape. Mike and Sully are alright, I think Barnard was protecting them all because in the hayloft of the barn was a coyote looking down."

"Shit Ana, are you alright."

"I'm fine, grandma's fine, it was just a shock seeing it in there. A blast from the gun in the air had it running. There was a little blood and none of the animals is injured so I think it must have come from the coyote and it had gone in there while the alpacas were in the field, maybe to lick its wounds, or more like lying in wait as even injured I doubt they would miss out on an alpaca buffet."

"All the animals are fenced in" I stated, knowing that area very well by now.

"They are and while they're in their enclosures, nothing can get in. The barn has other ways in, the main door we use to place hay, alfalfa and other supplies in is usually left open most of the day even though it's closed off on the alpaca's side. I need to go around the whole property, grandma said Robert's cattle had damaged one of the fences connecting our properties while I was in Africa but it had been fixed. I will go around checking everything tomorrow hopefully before I go to work. You know if there is something that needs fixing, grandma will assign it to you, your job for the weekend."

"Bring it on" I replied, hearing my girl giggle.

"I love you."

"I love you, Ana. I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and cuddle you in bed and make plans for when I get you back here."

"You know grandma can be deaf when she wants to be, has selective hearing too to what she doesn't want to hear. I'm sure if she heard any noises coming from our room, she would act as if it hadn't happened."

"Please Ana" I laughed. "She would grill me on my intentions regarding you before flicking me in the ear."

"Knowing grandma, she probably would" she laughed. "Now, how's work."

"Busy as always. I have something I want to speak to you about when I see you, about a decision we both need to make."

"Sounds ominous, should I be worried," she asked.

"No, god I hope not anyway."

"Well, I look forward to the conversation then, in between a few kisses here and there."

"I can't wait Ana" I replied, wanting nothing more than to hold her now.

….

Rising above Grey House, I waved to Taylor, hovering for a second before I turned in the direction of Vancouver. This was the perfect way to travel to Ana's, the quickest way and as I flew high above the city before me, I smiled remembering our journey here last weekend.

Ana had flown many times in a plane but it was her first time in a helicopter. I think she squealed and laughed for most of the way, especially those few seconds I let her take the controls.

I'd found a place close to the university where I could leave the helicopter, a helipad on top of a small building that was no longer used. Landing her perfectly on top of this building, I picked up the car I had left here, setting off in the direction of the university, knowing I will have to navigate the whole campus to get to Ana on the other side.

Ryan would be here somewhere, I had informed him about my plans before I left, with Reynolds they were Ana's CPO's. They kept their distance, thankfully being allowed to stay in a security office close to the greenhouses where Ana liked to spend most of her day. They looked out upon her unless she was moving between buildings, only going back to the security office once she was safely inside. My donation to the university had grown just so there would be no complaints from them at her having security here. I doubt I would've heard any though because Ana was too important to them, not just for the department she worked in but at the university as a whole. Her work had been read by people all around the world, some who have offered to fund the research too just so they can have quick access to the results as soon as they come in. They would never turn down a penny here even though other donations could never top mine. Paying the amount I do also gives me unrestricted access to wherever my girl maybe.

Spotting Ryan as I passed the security office and hearing about what Ana had told me about the coyote she had come face to face with the night before, I wished her CPO's had been there to deal with it, both though staying at a property down the road. I think they would've ruined Rose's fun though who the more I come to know her is more than capable of dealing with any uninvited guest, animal or human.

Parking as close to the greenhouse as I could, I walked the short distance, making sure I didn't disturb any classes that were going on inside.

"Christian" I heard my name called as I turned around to see Jasper with a smile upon his face as he approached.

"Jasper, how are you," I asked as he reached out his hand for me to shake, before quickly pulling it back.

"I'm fine, sorry, gardeners hand" he stated, holding up his filthy hand to me.

Holding mine out for him to take, he laughed, shaking my hand.

"I didn't know you were working here, last I heard on the trip you were going back to working at the garden centre."

"I do on the weekends but there was an opening here, an assistant of sorts. I get to help the professors teach and when the students act up, I sit back and watch the masters at work."

"Have you been in Ana's class yet?" I asked him.

"This morning, yes and I'm in one of her afternoon groups too. As with previous years, Ana likes to take on the ones who some class as challenging, she doesn't mind being assigned those who need a little more help. The schollies, the rich kids call them. Those on a full scholarship who wouldn't have been able to be here if they hadn't have gotten that. I myself was one of those challenging schollies once upon a time."

"You turned out all right" I laughed as we entered the greenhouses.

"Yes, thanks to Ana and that never-ending patience that she has."

"What's this year's group like then," I asked.

"Most eager to learn, a few quiet ones, as well as the usual, know it all's. Those are the ones who got in after each schollie had been offered a place in her class. Those that had daddy pay for their course. Everyone knows of Ana's work around here, all who signed up for this course wanted to be in one of her classes and because of numbers and how many can fit in the greenhouses safely, many didn't. Professor Richards has already had many wanting to transfer, many parents calling up that they want their brat in Ana's class and they should have priority over those they class as getting a free ride. Getting here without needing a scholarship is a free ride as far as I'm concerned as they never had to fight for their place."

"I'm sure Ana will have everyone working to their best, even if she has to knock some down a peg or two upon the way," I told him, making him laugh as we walked through the greenhouse to one where at the other end, the students were filing out.

There were a few that stayed behind wanting those last few encouraging words about the work that had been set for them, hearing Jasper say he will see me around, he too left before there was only Ana and me who at present was at a desk sorting through papers the students had left behind, a desk that had a large filled pot in the corner, one that made me smile.

"Tillandsia" I whispered when I was a few feet from Ana, making her spin around so quickly I had to catch her before she tripped and fell to the floor.

"Christian" she squeaked out my name before her arms came around my neck, holding her to me.

"Hey baby" I whispered, placing a kiss upon her lips. "Miss me."

"Always" she replied before crashing her lips to my own.

I had missed Ana this week, missed everything about her, from her beautiful smile to the taste of her lips on my own. It had been too long since I had kissed her last, five whole days since we had parted on Sunday night. It was a cough that broke us eventually apart, a cough and a chuckle from a friend. I had to remember where I was then as Jasper told Ana he was leaving for the day before his words of _nothing's changed_ reached my ears. I also had to remember to hold Ana in front of me until my arousal faded away.

"You're a minx" I teased, taking her hand to which, I placed a kiss upon it.

"Excuse me, it was you who kissed me first, and in my place of work," she laughed.

"I apologise" I replied with a smile and she knew I wasn't sorry at all.

"You're early."

"I would apologise for that too but I won't. I had nothing on this afternoon that couldn't be moved or dealt with by another so I decided to come early, surprise my girl as you said Friday's are an early finish for you."

"Consider me surprised" she spoke, placing a kiss upon my lips. "So happy you're here too."

"Me too Ana, do you still have work to do," I asked looking at the papers.

"No, I have these papers to look over, mark, which I will do over the weekend."

Ana put away everything that needed to be put away as I held the papers she had been sorting out when I had approached. Making sure to find Professor Fielding on the way out who still had his final class to teach and would lock up this evening we headed over to the car or cars.

"I didn't think this through" I laughed, thinking what I could do with my car so I could drive with Ana.

"Where were you hiding this one," she asked.

"Where I leave Charlie Tango."

"Why don't we take it back then, we can use mine over the weekend and then I can drive you back when you have to go home."

I liked that idea, knowing that the journey was shorter to the helipad than it was to her home. Quickly dropping it off, we headed home.

"Did you get to look at the fence?" I asked.

"Yes, at first light. I found where it got in, it's going to need fixing. The structure, the wood of the fence is sound but the wire that keeps everything out needs replacing. The hole, it's not in the part where Robert said was broken so I need to go around the whole perimeter, check every inch of it to see if there are any more gaps, my job for the weekend as well as everything else that needs doing."

"My job for the weekend Ana" I stated, making her laugh. "How's Barnard."

"You mean now he's had his nuts chopped," she asked, making me wince.

"Yes, poor boy" I groaned.

"Up until last night, he'd been quieter than normal, not pushing his way to the front of the group for attention as he used to do. Last night though, it was like he was back to his old self, guarding his family. I suppose that's what to some he is now, no longer used for breeding but as a guard. To me though, he's my pal, my Barnard."

"I don't think anything would stop him from protecting his own Ana, none of you."

"I know, I do sometimes regret having him done but having to separate him from the others would've been more painful for him. If we had a big herd, one where we kept the boys and girls separate and he had others to bond with it would've been easier and the operation wouldn't have been needed but we kept the group small intentionally, they were meant to be just pets after all" she smiled.

Arriving home, Ana's home, well my home for the weekend, we passed the shop and drove around the back like we usually did. Ana told me on the way that the barn door the alpaca's use she locked this morning, the field shelters sufficient enough to keep them warm and dry should the weather turn. It had been calm though, warm enough that should they need to spend the night in them also, they would be safe until the perimeter fence is fixed.

I was happy to see the animals, excited to see the alpacas were just as happy to see me as I was them. Mike and Sully had grown even in the days since I had seen them and were happily by their mother's sides. There was no panic surrounding the girls and the cria's but Barnard was another story altogether, he was on guard.

He approached me cautiously at first once he had checked nothing else had entered with us. Running my hand from the top of his head down to his back, I smiled when he booped his nose to my cheek.

"Now that is trust right there" I heard grandma say behind us as she approached the fence.

"She's right you know. Barnard would never put his face to yours if he didn't trust you" Ana agreed.

"Well I'm very honoured" I smiled, putting my face close to his to which he once again touched my cheek. "We're in this together" I whispered so only he could hear. "We'll protect our family, together."

All the alpacas had been greeted before I left the enclosure, Mike and Sully making me laugh. They had certainly found their legs and liked nothing more than running around, keeping their mothers in sight at all times though. They also loved just like Mopsy was doing now, to roll around in the dust.

"You should see them with the hose" Ana giggled, laughing at the alpaca's antics.

"Hose?"

"Yes, when the weather gets too warm, we have to hose them down. Their bellies, their armpits, are they armpits if they're for legs" Ana said, looking to grandma who just shrugged with a smile. "Whatever they are, they love them being hosed down and I'm sure the cria's will too."

"You don't wet their backs," I asked.

"No, their wool is maybe four, five times warmer than sheep's wool and with it being water retardant, hosing down their backs will give them no relief at all. The pool" Ana said, pointing to the far corner where it looked like a children's paddling pool resided. "Barnard will get in there and cush down submerging his belly and legs under the water."

"I would love to see that" I laughed.

"You can fill it up over the weekend," Grandma said. "You could also help by..."

"Fixing the fence" I added, seeing her smile as we left the enclosure and I kissed the old lady on the cheek.

"Now I get attention" she laughed as we had bypassed the house and come straight to the animals.

"I save the best for last."

"Smooth talker" she laughed. "Come, I've made some iced tea."

…

The iced tea was nice and I'd had many glasses of it over the course of the weekend and like in Africa I certainly built up a sweat. I repaired the fence, many parts of it some that just needed a nail or two and other parts that needed replacing completely.

I had just finished my last part, a complete section that I had just replaced while Ana had been not only working in the shop but marking the college papers when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You have my blessing son."

"What, to fix all your fences," I said to Rose who was standing by my side admiring my work.

"That and to make my granddaughter yours forever if that is what she wants."

"Thank you" I replied, looking down to the old lady, smiling as she too had sweat and dirt on her face. No matter the age, no matter the place whether here or Africa, we all got stuck in.

We left the fence line behind, certain now that nothing else could get in unless it could jump the fence. Anything that tried, I'm sure would meet the barrel of this old lady's gun, only after getting cut up on the top wire.

"Dinner's on" Ana called out, emerging from the house, no longer in her jeans of the day but in a beautiful summer dress.

We will be in September tomorrow, Ana's birthday now only days away. The plans for that day have already been made and are known to everyone who will be in attendance, everyone but my girl.

"Thank you, dear" Rose spoke, walking into the house to wash up.

I wanted to pull Ana towards me, kiss her senseless now we were finally alone with not a chore or a task to distract us but I couldn't. I was filthy, she was clean and I didn't want to do anything to ruin the beautiful sight before me.

"I need to clean up" I whispered as I now stood inches away from her.

"You do, you smell as I normally do" she giggled. "Go clean up while I plate dinner up then you can kiss me like I know you want to do once grandma has gone to bed."

"Kiss you like last night," I asked, placing a chaste kiss upon her lips, keeping my clothes, my hands away from her though.

"And the rest" she smiled, kissing me back before I stepped away.

"I look forward to it."

I went up to our room, putting the shower on as I stripped out of my clothes. Being in here now, thinking of the room I had walked thought brought memories back of last night. I shouldn't have let my thoughts go there, thinking of Ana's body as I made love to her, trying not to make too much noise. Rose, I think has bat hearing despite what Ana said of her being dead to the world once she was asleep. From the smile or was it a smirk on her face as we went down to breakfast this morning, she knew.

Once I was clean, I turned the water to cold needing the shock to get rid of my arousal at the thought of Ana's body against mine in here. It did the trick until I was getting myself dry, pulling boxers from the drawer which were right next to Ana's panties causing thoughts of removing Ana's to once again fill my mind.

"I need to get out of here" I groaned, closing the drawer before I quickly got dressed and left the bedroom.

Joining Ana and Rose for dinner, a meal my girl had beautifully cooked my thoughts after went to the papers I had brought down with me, ones that had been on my mind all day but to this moment I had been putting off.

"What's on your mind," Ana asked as we sat on the porch, Rose inside the house now catching up on some mind-numbing TV.

"I wanted to speak to you about something."

"About what's in that file," she asked, looking back through the door and to the file on the table.

"Yes," I replied, getting up to retrieve it before I joined Ana once again placing the file in her lap.

"What is this."

"An idea," I said, nodding for her to open the file.

I watched as Ana opened it, taking out the papers from within. She read each one of them, each one a different idea or part of the charity I wanted to start.

"Christian this is wonderful, this could help so many people, not just here but across the world."

"I want to do something, I want to be a part as much as I can with the charities that you set up, with the work you do but I also want to do work in areas not just with feeding people but with jobs for these people too. I know I've only just put money into charities before, signed that cheque with no real thought of where it would end us and who it would help. Seeing the other side of that money, who it does help, maybe I was afraid to look before because I knew I would see a malnourished child just as I was."

"I love you" she whispered, placing a kiss upon my lips. "It's ok to look Christian even if what you see is your greatest fear. It just means we work harder to achieve your goal, helping them. With regards to setting a charity up, whatever you want to do Christian, I'm with you."

"I love you, Ana, so much" I smiled nervously before I pointed to the top of the page and the initials that represent two names.

"T. R." she whispered.

"Yes, I wanted to set up this charity, a foundation of sorts in their name. To do that though will no doubt bring questions especially if it's associated with my company, my name. I just want to do something, something like you've done to keep their memory alive, something to acknowledge they were here if only for a short time. I don't want to hide the fact that I'm a father, even though our child is no longer here."

"You don't have to Christian. If you want to do this then do it, you have my complete support."

I took the papers from Ana, pulling her onto my lap before I kissed her until we needed to take a breath. I know questions will be asked as to who T. R. was once this charity was set up, would we tell people, that would be up to us.

All I know is that their life will be celebrated and many will be helped upon the way. If people have a problem with that, especially when it came to teaching girls, with the struggles Dembe originally had, then tough. Every child has a right to learn no matter the sex, like a flower, they have a right to grow and flourish. Those that never have a chance to do that will never be forgotten, they will always be remembered I will make certain of that.

**Thank you for reading. **

**We have Ana's birthday next chapter and all the fun that comes with that.**

**Until then, take care. **

**Caroline.**


	18. Chapter 18

APOV

A challenging class some say my students are and I have to admit, some here within my group are more challenging than most.

I have those who want to learn and are a pleasure to teach, then I have those know it all's who think it's their place to teach me. I'm always one to listen to people's arguments, their suggestions on what may work best with the plants, the crops before us. I'm always one to try out what they suggest, never dismissing their opinion, what results in their own homes and gardens, their smallholdings and farms, they've achieved. Some in this group, two in particular if I'm honest I have no clue why they're even here.

There's Henry, he reminds me very much of Edmund, he wants the qualifications without doing very much work. Then there is Ashley, she was late to join my class due to illness, the others already settled into their groups so I thought that was why she took a while to make friends. She's quiet, gives very little input in the group unless she's complaining to others about the dirt under her nails. This isn't high school, this isn't a set class that you have to attend, you choose to be here but with the way she spends her time wistfully looking out of the greenhouse windows, I think she'd rather be anywhere else.

I try to engage them both in my class along with the others, encourage them in their work as this is only the start of the year and we have a long way to go from here. With the lack of interest on both of their parts, if they continue as they are now, for the first time, I'm about to fail or they will if they don't sort themselves out.

"Are you having trouble, Ashley?" I asked, walking around the many benches in the greenhouse where my class were testing the ph of various soil types so they would know what would grow best within them.

"I'm still trying to get my head around everything" she admitted shyly.

"What are you struggling with."

"Honestly, as I said, everything. My daddy asked me to take your course so I could help him out at home."

"But this is not what you want to do," I asked.

"It is because I will always do my best to help daddy out as it's only the two of us now. Truthfully though, the course I really wanted to take was more to do with hair and beauty but there is always next year for that."

"If you need help, just ask. I'm also sure the others would give you any help you need too."

"Thank you Professor Lambert" she replied.

"You're welcome."

I felt a little better after speaking to Ashley. She was just like James who had graduated what feels like a lifetime ago even though it was only months. He too had taken this course to help out a parent and just like he is now doing very well, I'm sure with a little help and encouragement Ashley will too.

I was just sitting down to have my lunch, in what I call the sanctuary, a small area of grass behind the greenhouses, hidden from the rest of the world by a row of bushes on each side that formed a squashed triangle with the greenhouses as a base when my phone rang.

"Hello big brother" I answered, hearing Luke's laugh.

"I will never tire of hearing that, how are you doing Boo."

"I'm good, busy as always. I'm sorry I didn't get to your game last night, Grandma and I watched though. You will have to tell them to stop putting it on a school night."

"I'm sure they will change the whole schedule around for you, I would if it got you here."

"I know you would, now how are you," I asked.

"I'm good, I've just left the gym, now I'm having some lunch. I called because I wanted to speak to you about your birthday."

"Birthday, what day is that," I asked, teasing him.

I had hated my birthday when I was with her, she never made an effort, only Ray did. The boys did too though when they heard from Ray that my birthday was a few days away. They had filled Ray's workshop with bunting and balloons, they had even made me a cake too. It was a special day, a perfect day made better because she preferred to stay in the house, refusing to join in. That was her tantrum as she wasn't the most important person of the day.

"Stop thinking of that blasted woman" I heard Luke say as I must have gone quiet.

"I'm not, I'm thinking of balloons and cake in Ray's workshop."

"That cake was a work of art," he said, making me laugh as I thought of my lopsided cake.

"It was, the best one I've ever received."

We spoke about my birthday, or more like he did, telling me not to plan anything as it was all being sorted by Christian and him. He assured me that Grandma was included, the Grey's too and I was to relax and enjoy it.

"Will you be bringing a girl to this, whatever it is we're doing?" I asked him.

"Naaa, Ana, I don't know anyone good enough to be there."

"Can I ask you something."

"Of course Boo, you know that."

"Even if it's personal," I added.

"Yes, that too."

"You're still single, I know what you were like in high school but I thought that was just a phase and you would settle down when you were older. With Christian while I was gone, I saw the hangers-on, the ones hanging off his arm but with you, nothing."

Hearing a sigh down the phone, I quickly retracted my question telling him he didn't have to answer.

"I met someone a few years ago Ana. She was, or so I thought, lovely, beautiful and had a heart of gold. We were together for two years."

"I followed your career, hanging onto every piece of information I could find about you but I never heard or read about any serious relationship."

"That was the way we wanted it, or she did. She wasn't one for the limelight, preferring a meal at home to one of the celebrity hotspots around town. Being away a lot, we spoke most nights about what we wanted to do when I got home, we even spoke about a future at one point, agreeing that we couldn't keep our relationship hidden forever."

"What happened," I asked, wanting more than anything to hug my best friend at the moment as I could hear the pain in his voice.

"I caught a bug, one that was going around the team. I was due to play in Chicago but ended up never going as I was too sick to get on the plane. She didn't know that so when I went to her place to pick up a few things I'd left there, a jacket, some paperwork for an upcoming advertisement campaign I may need to postpone, I let myself in with the key she'd given me only to find who I thought was her ex there. I didn't say anything as I stood at the bedroom door for a few seconds as he fucked what I thought was my girl. Her shoe, hitting the lamp smashing it to pieces informed them that I was there."

"The bitch, who is she, where does she live," I asked angrily, my sandwich forgotten now.

"Easy Boo, it's in the past. She no longer matters to me."

"I can hear the pain in your voice, Luke. It may be in the past but I know more than most that the past can still hurt."

"I know Ana and even though a part of you is not here, your past has joined the future and has been healed. I don't want her as part of my future, thinking about it now, how manipulative she was for me not to see that it was my money she was interested in, that's what makes me angry. She tried to contact me afterwards, said she was being blackmailed to be with him and that he was going to reveal our relationship to the world. I was open from the start, I wanted everyone to know about us and I think that the real reason that she didn't was because she was still with him."

"Do me something, Luke."

"I'm going to say, of course, I'll do anything for you, only because I can't say no to you Ana. Don't make me regret it please."

I smiled at his nervousness, having no clue as his voice didn't give anything away as to how he was feeling with what I asked next.

"You don't have to tell me her name but I need to ask, have I already met the gold digger. When I've been out with Christian or you, the Grey's ball, have I come across her yet."

"No, not that I know of anyway. I'm sure Christian should he see her about would give her a mouthful too."

"Good, if I do see her though, meet her at one of the events you and Christian have asked me to attend, please let me know. I don't want to be speaking to her unknowingly, plus I'd like to introduce her to my drink."

"Don't waste good alcohol" he replied with a laugh before he changed the subject, asking about how his namesake Sully and his best friend Mike were doing back at home.

My afternoon classes were much easier than this morning's had been and despite the light starting to fade as I entered my home, I felt happy and relaxed.

….

"Happy birthday."

"Mmmm" I replied, not knowing in the morning fog that was my brain, if I had heard the voice properly before my head shook as the chest I lay against moved with laughter.

"Happy birthday baby, Ana open those beautiful eyes."

I opened my eyes slowly, lifting my head from Christian's chest as I looked at him, seeing his beautiful smile.

Christian placed a kiss upon my lips, moving us until I was under him before slowly he entered me, his words of love and happy birthday filling my ears.

I would never tire of coming together with this man, the way he makes me feel, the way only he knows how I feel inside. I would never regret shouting his name as he pushed me over the edge, following quickly after, never worrying about who might hear.

"I love you, love you, love you" he declared, his body shaking as was mine.

"I love you, it's only ever been you Christian and that will never change."

His lips met mine then as he continued to move inside me even though both of us had had our release. That was the first of many times that early morning before we showered and dressed, the first of many I love you's I would hear throughout the day.

…

"Grandma what are you doing," I asked, stepping out onto the main balcony where she had been pacing for the past few minutes.

Grandma had come to Seattle last night with us when Christian had flown down to pick us up. Her squeals and laughter had been louder than mine when he had first flown me but now she was quiet, deep in thought as she looked around the area out here.

"Did you say something dear," she asked, turning to face me.

"I was asking what you were doing, you were doing laps out here."

"I was just seeing how many alpaca I could fit in this space."

"What" I laughed. "None because if there was only room for one, it would do no good because you can't split the herd."

"I know, I was just teasing" she smiled, placing her hand to my cheek before she touched the shawl that I wore.

"It's very beautiful, thank you," I said, pulling the shawl up to my cheek, feeling how soft it was.

Grandma had made it for my birthday and with the colours, I would say she had taken some from each of the alpaca's when they had been sheered earlier this year. It was lovely and warm, especially as there was a strong breeze today up here what feels like miles above the city below us.

"You're very welcome my dear. I was just trying to see the places I had heard about before and not yet been able to visit. The aquarium, the Ferris Wheel on the seafront, the Space Needle is obviously there, you can't miss it."

"Christian's place," I said, making her laugh.

"Which one, the aquarium, the Ferris Wheel or the Space Needle."

"The Needle" I replied.

"He owns the Space Needle."

"The restaurant at the top, I'm not sure about the whole building, I'll have to ask him."

"Ask him what" Christian said, joining us.

"If you own the whole Space Needle," Grandma asked as we all looked that way.

"I do. I enjoyed eating there when I first started my company as you could see the whole city around."

"I'm sure you could see it from Grey House too" I stated, knowing how tall that building was.

"I can see most of the city from there, that's for work though, with the Space Needle I get to relax and enjoy the view."

"It's nice to see you relax," Grandma told him. "We don't get to see that often."

"That's because as soon as he arrives you give him a list of jobs to do" I laughed.

"We all have to get stuck in, too much to do there. I wonder how Barnard will react to Robert this morning with neither of us being there" she smiled mischievously, knowing exactly how he will react.

Barnard knows Robert but he has only been around him with one of us there. With Barnard having the snip recently, with him still unsettled from that and how protective he is of the girls, the cria's too, I expect there will be some spitting going on.

"I think there is a hazmat suit somewhere in his wardrobe which he has been saving just for today."

My comment brought laughter and we would no doubt hear stories of Barnard's antics when we got back home tomorrow. For today though I've been told to enjoy it and relax and I planned to do just that.

…

I raised my hand, shaking my wrist to Christian seeing the smile come on his face. He had given me a beautiful charm bracelet, a charm for everything we had shared so far, things that mean something to us. A flower, a tree, a pebble that contained tiny initials, a helicopter as well as many more, one of them also a boat. That boat now bobbed on the water proudly before us as we walked down the jetty towards it, containing those I deemed, close.

Luke approached us, pulling me in for a hug before, as usual, spinning me around. I was worried for a second that we would end up in the water that surrounded us but a steadying hand from Christian not forgetting grandma, I was dizzily put down.

"Do you want us to take an early bath?" Grandma asked him before flicking his ear when he had hugged her too.

"If it was a bit warmer, maybe but today I will settle for staying dry" he replied.

Christian helped me onto the boat as Luke helped grandma. Once onboard, I was wished a happy birthday many times over by those here. Grace and Carrick, Kate and Elliot, Mia and grandma and granddad Trevelyan too. Those that were here that was a surprise to me, not that this whole trip hadn't been a surprise anyway before I got in the car, were Libby, Hannah and Jasper.

"Where are we going," I asked after I had been introduced to Mac who would be sailing us today when Christian wasn't at the wheel.

"I thought we could sail down the coast, have lunch on the water, maybe dinner too before back home in time for bed."

"I can't wait" I replied, taking a seat while Christian helped Mac.

"Isn't this wonderful" Grandma laughed as we started to move away from the dock.

"It certainly is Grandma" I replied as she squeezed my hand.

Leaving the marina behind, everyone's focus turned to me. I had been wished a happy birthday by all but now it was time for gifts I was told.

I received a Seahawks jersey from Luke, one with his number on the back and above it in large letters was BOO. I also received a necklace from him, from him and Christian, a joint gift I was told. In a way it was tied to the bracelet but hanging from the necklace wasn't charms but letters. A for Ana, C for Christian, L for Luke, three best friends always together. It was the last two letters that brought a tear to my eye, a T and an R. Seeing I was about to cry, more gifts were sent my way to distract me from my tears.

"Ana, come with me," Christian told me, taking my hand as drinks were passed around by the staff on board. "Everyone hold on," he told the rest of the guests.

"Hold on?" I questioned as I followed him towards where I knew the wheel was and found myself stood behind it with Christian behind me.

"Yes once those sails are out, we'll soon pick up speed," he told me, placing a kiss to the back of my head.

We watched the sails being unravelled or whatever they called it, we could feel the boat start to move as the wind took hold. We were soon moving across the water, all talk from the others ceased as they enjoyed the ride, although I did hear my grandmothers laughter just like when we flew.

"How often do you get out here," I asked Christian as he took the wheel from me for a moment so I could tie my hair up to stop it whipping him in the face.

"Not very much, I think the last time I was out on the water was just before I saw you."

"Saw me?"

"Yes, when you picked Kate up after that dreadful interview" he groaned making me laugh.

"It's beautiful out here on the water, you need to do it more often" I stated.

"I will, as long as you're here with me."

"I'll be here, as much as I can," I told him, placing a kiss to his lips, one he deepened.

"Hey, no kissing at the wheel, we'll end up hitting something" Luke called out before I held my arms out to my sides, showing him that there was nothing around, the closest thing the land which we had left far behind.

"You come and sail her then" Christian called to him. "I'm too busy wishing happy birthday to my girl."

Luke happily came over to take the wheel as Christian took my hand, leading me into the cabin and out of sight of the others.

I had a lovely tour of the boat even though I had been here before, an excuse to stop many times in each room to kiss my boyfriend upon the way.

Lunch was lovely, dinner under the stars was too. Grandma seemed to be having a lovely time speaking not only to Christian's parents but his grandparents as well.

She wasn't shy in asking questions about Christian, how he was now and also as a child. She wasn't shy in answering questions about me either, most that had me either blushing or groaning as I buried my head into Christian's side.

Luke spoke up, telling many a story about me both back then and now. He didn't go into too much detail about some, knowing stories returned would be worse than those told. I did notice something else throughout the day about Luke, he seemed to be getting on very well with Libby.

She's a lovely young woman, passionate about the work we do and would do anything to help anyone. She also loved books, she loved research and had the brains to have an in-depth conversation with others for hours, never shying away to get her point across. All qualities I remember Luke liking in a girl so who knows, maybe they will never see each other again after we're back on dry land as we will be in a few minutes, maybe they will keep in touch, or maybe Luke will have finally found the love of his life. Whatever it is, it's nice to see him smile.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Luke asked as Christian helped grandma in the car.

"Yes I am, even though it could stir up questions, some we may not want to answer."

"I'm here if you need me, both of you" he replied as Christian now stood at my side.

"We know Luke, this is important though, to both of us," I said, looking to Christian and receiving a smile.

The foundation in our baby's name goes live through Grey Enterprises tomorrow and questions will no doubt be asked as to who it represents. Theodore, Grace's father who is well known in Seattle would be the first answer most come to until they remember he's a Trevelyan, not a Grey.

Whatever comes our way, no matter what questions we eventually answer, our child's life will be celebrated in the only way we know how, by helping others.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Drama is just around the corner. They can't expect it not to be but love will always prevail, in my stories anyway.**

**Until next time, take care. **

**Caroline. **


	19. Chapter 19

APOV

I waved emphatically to each of the smiling faces that I saw on the screen before saying goodbye to the old woman there.

I was just finishing up my video call with Dembe, an update on what is going on but also checking in and chatting with my friend. She had excitedly told me about the corn that now grew, a food most had never seen. She was also happy to inform me how much enjoyment the children had been having at watching my alpaca's through the camera I had set up at home.

As I turned around, I chuckled at the mostly stunned faces before me.

"That is how a little can achieve such a lot" I spoke to my class who for the first time had been shown the work I'd done in Africa, seen for themselves through the magic of technology how the crops out there had grown in such a barren land.

"Professor, how is it that crops can grow in that… I was going to call it soil but it looks more like dust, dirt" Ashley asked quietly as she engaged with the group for the first time.

Ever since our conversation when she had admitted why she was here, Ashley had spoken to me often during class but this is the first time she'd asked out. My other troubled student Henry, just grunted as if her question disturbed his nap.

"You have all learned, well most I would say" I spoke, looking to Henry before I gave the rest of my class that did want to learn the attention they deserved. "You have studied, learned how to find out the Ph level of different soils, learned what will grow in each but when you have tested soil, dust, dirt that states that nothing will grow in it, you have to manipulate it over time so something will. You could take a bag of compost with all the perfect nutrients in, dig it into the ground but quickly with no nourishment in the soil that surrounds it, what you've dug in will soon become just like all the rest. Start small, one area, treat that, make that one area flourish and eventually, it will start to bring nourishment to the areas around it which are then treated as well."

"Professor, we've been learning about what results can be achieved with the land here at the university. Will we learn how to help the ground flourish, I mean my back yard looks as barren as that" a young man asked, pointing to the now blank screen.

"Well, my work on that has already been published through the university, and read and downloaded not just in this country but around the world" I smiled, knowing unless he lived in the desert, his backyard couldn't possibly be as bad as the land at the orphanage when I first started. "The knowledge of what you ask about is already out there for you to read. Do not worry though, it is one of the main parts of the course I teach. By the time you graduate, you will not only have learnt and grown crops which naturally grow in the land here, but you will learn how to manipulate the soil to grow crops all year round. Believe me, eating fresh corn cobs in the summer will be worth all the hard work you put in."

I heard laughter at my words, received many smiles too as the bell went signally the end of the day. I was soon on my own, picking up the papers that had been left on my desk to mark. I wouldn't be heading straight home to do that though, I had some work to finish in the greenhouses.

Eventually leaving the campus that night as the light started to fade, I had no clue to the storm I would be facing when I left the next day.

…

I got up as I normally did, early. I fed the animals while grandma made breakfast, also making sure that the shop was stocked up before we sat down to eat.

I had been messaging Luke back and forth during the day as we threw about ideas for a charity event we had briefly spoken about on the boat for my birthday. One idea in particular I liked was a ball. One that not only brought in Seattle's business money side, people who Christian knew, but the celebrity side of it also, the Seahawks, the Mariners as well as those on tv. This would not be a ball where people just opened their wallets to attend, no, they would have to do something in the community, something to help others to earn their seat and in the process, be sponsored. Their own wallets and purses would only be allowed to open once they were in and with some of the auction prizes we had been speaking about, I suspect they would be open all night.

When in class, my lessons throughout the day had gone just as they had in the days prior, the students listened and learned as I taught.

It was in my last class of the day, as we were in the far greenhouse, moving a banana tree that had been struggling to grow now it was shaded by another when we all heard the noise from outside.

"Is someone having a party?" Jasper asked, calling out over the noise of raised voices.

"I don't know" I replied. "Stay here and put the banana in and I will find out what's going on."

I left the greenhouse before he could protest, heading through the large room of glass that connected them all before colliding with Penny who had come rushing my way as I stepped out into the autumn sunshine.

"Ana, go back" she pleaded.

"What" I questioned, struggling to hear over the noise what she was saying.

It took me a few moments before I could figure out what was happening, before I could hear a single voice in the noise and find out what was going on. It was as I heard that single voice, all others became clear, their words and questions especially.

"You were asked to leave," Michael said, standing next to the Dean. "Ana go back inside," he told me but I couldn't move for a moment as their questions filled my mind.

_T. R. Grey is Christian Grey's baby, you got pregnant to trap him, didn't you? _

_We know you got rid of the baby when he didn't give you any attention._

_At the age of seventeen, are you sure he's the father with how much you slept around?_

_Is that why he's with you now, are you pregnant, did you trap him again._

I felt myself being lifted from my feet before a scream left my lips. I was about to hit the person who was moving me before I looked to his face, seeing it was Ryan.

I had seen him in the crowd, pushing them back with Reynolds too. Now I let him take me away as I was unable to stop the tears streaming down my face.

I expected some to question who T. R. Grey was and for us to explain in our own time, our child if we had to. Some of the questions they were asking though, some of the information they had, could have only come from one person, her.

A car had pulled up behind the back of the greenhouses I think I was told as back on my feet I was led that way. Campus security was dealing with the mob out front but out here, there were a few too. A few of my students had also gathered after being let out of class, none were looking my way though but at their phones, shock filling all of their faces.

"Ana" Jasper whispered, approaching me.

"Look after them," I said, nodding to the students, having no clue with what was going on if I would be able to return soon.

At present, I didn't even want to think about things like that as I got into the car and only once the car started to move did the real tears flow.

….

CPOV

It would've been comical as Taylor and Welch crashed through my door together, both trying to squeeze past the other if it had not been for the serious looks on their faces.

"What is it," I asked as Taylor produced a tablet, one that contained a story he said was spreading like wildfire over the internet.

I knew there was a risk, questions would be asked when I started the T. R. Grey foundation. I was so stupid not to realise that those in the past, those or one in particular we thought was gone would show their face, that one being _her._

"It started with a photo of you and Ana as children on Twitter, tagging not only the news agencies, newspapers from Seattle, all of Washington but has been repeatedly tagging agencies across the country. From that picture which didn't name any names as it didn't need to, you could tell it was you both on there, a story has broken which has revealed a lot more than that."

"I need to call Ana," I said, dialling her phone which just rang out.

"Sir, I received a message from Ryan just before I came in here, he has her and the press were there also. It seems they had been tipped off, told they would be in the perfect place to gain an exclusive before the story broke if they turned up."

"And they did blindly," I asked angrily.

"It's about you, whatever it is, to them, it would be worth publishing."

"When did the story break," I asked, tossing the tablet back to him having only read the headlines before getting my keys from my desk drawer, those for my helicopter, not the car. I was going to Vancouver, to Ana and if any press did get in my way while I was there, I was in the right mood to land on top of them.

"The photo about fifteen minutes ago, the story, that's only just gone out," Taylor replied rushing after me as we headed up to the roof. "The press office looks for anything with yours and now Ana's names tagged into them and pick up anything that does to look into further. It wasn't them that ALERTED ME" he shouted now over the rush of wind.

"WHAT."

"AN URGENT CALL CAME IN FROM KATHERINE KAVANAGH," He said, causing me to turn around. "HER NEWSPAPER WAS ONE OF THOSE TAGGED INTO THE ORIGINAL POST, SHE'D TRIED TO GET HOLD OF ANA BUT WAS UNABLE TO AS HER PHONE MUST BE OFF SO SHE CALLED HERE."

"I WANT ADDITIONAL SECURITY DOWN AT ANA'S" I called to Welch getting inside the helicopter with Taylor soon taking the seat at my side. Before we left the ground, I had him call Ryan's phone.

It had only been minutes since they had entered my office but without hearing Ana's voice, it felt like years.

"Where are you," I asked Ryan who sounded like he was in the car driving, it was the sobs coming from close by though that broke my heart.

"I'm close to RoseAna's sir, just a few minutes away now."

"Ok, please put Ana on," I asked, hearing a few words spoken before the heartbroken voice of my girlfriend filled my ears.

"Christian" she sobbed. "They were asking about our baby. They knew how old I was and said that I'd got pregnant to trap you."

"We know the truth Ana, we know what happened between us. Besides your age and that we share a child, the rest is a lie."

"I know" she whispered before letting out a sob.

"Ana, I'm on my way."

"Christian, they're here as well" she cried. "They're blocking the way into my home. Oh shit..."

"Ana, what is it, speak to me."

"Grandma, she's on the porch. She has the shotgun out and she's aiming it at those around, shouting at them to leave."

"Ana, baby, listen to me. Get out and take grandma inside, let Ryan and Reynolds deal with the press" I told her, eventually hearing her ok as a reply. "Please put Ryan on."

I could hear her pass the phone back over to him before my instructions were given for the police to be called, for them to do a quick sweep of the back of the property where the animals were to see no one had gone around there and for him to then with Reynolds, stay out front with guns drawn if they have to until back up arrived.

Ending the call was hard because I wanted to speak to Ana, know she was inside and alright. Alright, I don't think either of us is that especially with the lies floating around the internet but getting to her now, was a priority.

"Sir" I heard Ryan say before I was about to end the call.

"Yes."

"Professor Lambert is inside, taking a very reluctant grandmother with her. I think she was hoping to stay outside so she could shoot someone." I had to smile at his words, knowing Rose wouldn't hesitate if it protected the only family she had. "Professor Lambert said her phone and purse are still at the university in her locker so once back up has arrived, I will leave and retrieve her things."

"That's fine Ryan… Please look after them."

"Will do Sir," he replied.

…

For every mile we flew closer to Vancouver it felt like we were being blown twice that backwards. I was impatient to get to Ana but even though I was travelling faster than I normally did, it was far too slow for me.

Seeing the landing site come into view was when I think I took my first real breath. I was one step closer to Ana, one minute closer to holding her even though I knew once I did tears would be shed.

The car was where it always was kept, filled up with fuel like it was for each time I visited. Arriving at the farm, you could see Barnard's angry face looking down on the many people who were gathered here, being held back by the police in attendance.

It was one of these police officers who knocked on my window as we stopped, probably getting ready until he saw who it was to tell the occupants of the car to turn around. He didn't though and it was his actions of letting us through that had camera flashes going off, the light bouncing off the car and hopefully blinding those who held a camera in the process.

Stopping outside, I left Taylor with Ryan as I ran for the door of the house, ignoring the questions that were being shouted my way. They knew nothing about my love for the woman inside or the child that we lost. They knew nothing of the circumstances that surrounded that, they only knew the lies.

As I entered the house, I followed Ana's voice toward the back and the kitchen where she was speaking to someone on the phone. As she heard my footsteps that had been quiet on the carpet now echoing on the stone floor, Ana turned my way and quickly abandoned the phone to grandma before she rushed towards me.

I caught her, her sobs filling my ears, her tears soaking my shirt. I was unable to stop my own tears at seeing the woman I love in such distress as she cried in my arms.

"The lies" she sobbed.

"I know Ana."

"Very few people knew about what happened and the only one who would say something and make it worse by lies would be her."

"I know Ana, when I find her" I replied angrily.

"You can get in a queue for her son," Grandma said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

I held one arm out to grandma, knowing she too needed someone at the moment and as she stepped under that arm, her arms going around Ana and me, many tears were shed.

…

Ryan had retrieved Ana's phone and purse from the university, having to fend off the many questions that were asked there. They were not private questions as the press who had left now Ana had done had asked, they were questions of concern, of to how she was from her colleagues and friends.

"Upset" was the only thing he could say, it was the only thing any of us could reply.

Ana had been speaking to Luke when I had entered and I had just finished a call with him, my family too before that as I watched Ana with Mike, Sully and the others, checking especially that the younger generation was doing alright. Out of all of them, it was Barnard who shadowed Ana, on alert to a danger he didn't understand at sensing Ana's distress just as he had been with the danger he had faced in the barn, the coyote who had thankfully been unable to return.

Luke had touched upon Ana and I giving a live interview, one unedited, one that no one could say was full of lies and was staged, one that would reveal the real truth.

Asking Ana to go back to that painful place, one she had been in all alone was a lot to ask of her. To not ask though, the press and questions would only continue or get worse as the speculation continues.

"You've not asked her yet son?" Grandma said as she stood at my side as we watched Ana, my arm coming around her shoulder as I kissed the top of her grey head.

"About the interview?"

"No, about being your wife."

"No, not yet. I'm sure you would've been the first to know if I had. I've designed her ring which I was due to pick up tomorrow and I was going to propose when she came down this weekend. I had it all planned, asking her to marry me surrounded by flowers on the boat, it will have to wait now."

"Love should never have to wait, son. A ring is important yes, especially as a symbol to show others your love, to show the world that you're committed to each other. To show each other how you feel though, that's done with a touch, a smile, with words spoken that mean something to you both."

"I love her so much." 

"I know son, that's why the pain she feels at the moment, you also feel in here" she spoke, placing her hand over my heart, one that was breaking more with each tear Ana brushed away.

I realised as I walked to Ana to speak about doing the interview that I hadn't flinched when Rose had touched my chest. She just like Ana had a beautiful heart and I knew there was nothing to fear here.

…

"I'm nervous" Ana whispered, resting her head against my side as we sat on the porch, trying to ignore all that was going on around us.

"Don't be, this is just us having a chat like we usually do," Kate said, smiling at her friend.

I never thought I would ever see Katherine Kavanagh in a good light but after what she had done yesterday, trying to warn Ana, getting through to Taylor to warn me what was going on, what I thought of her had changed.

Yes, she was nosy and prior to Ana and me being together, she probably would've asked, as she did in that interview anything to get a reaction from me. Now though like me, she wanted to see that smile back on her friends face and that would only happen once the truth had been revealed.

We were here to do that, Kate would be doing the interview as Ana had asked her to, knowing if she had to speak about these things, she would rather do it to someone she knew even though there will be countless people watching as it was filmed live. Luke was here also, the moral support we both needed on this Saturday afternoon and my family were around the property too.

"Boo, do you want a drink," Luke asked, coming from the kitchen.

"A strong whisky" she replied.

"You can have that later, we all know you barely drink. You would be pissed during the interview if you had that now" he told her.

"I know, I was only joking. I will have a strong cup of tea please."

It was my mother who made the tea, telling grandma to take a seat as she too seemed as nervous as her granddaughter. Ana was about to speak about things she had locked away so long ago and to see Ana hurt, hurt Rose too.

When Ana had her tea in hand, my coffee placed on the table in front of us, we watched as Kate spoke into the camera, her words broadcast not only on Kavanagh News's website and Grey enterprises, but this interview was also beaming live across the world thanks to social media which already had more people tuning in to hear what we had to say than the story that had originally been put out.

The camera turned as Kate introduced us and then just as it had done what felt like so long ago, the interview started, hopefully with no gay questions this time, although come to think of it I would rather answer questions like that than hear the pain in Ana's voice as she started to speak.

"We met in Montesano when we were children" Ana spoke as I squeezed her hand. "Luke lived on one side of me and Christian the other."

"You were the rose between two thorns," Kate asked, as we heard Luke scoff off camera.

"No, she was Boo between two monsters" I replied, seeing a smile appear on Ana's face as she looked first to me and then Luke. Two monsters who will always be by her side, through the good times and bad.

"Yes, my monsters" Ana agreed. "We were thick as thieves, always sat on one porch or another, chatting, singing, laughing long after the sun had gone done on the few days we were allowed." W_hen she'd forgotten I was even out there_, Ana continued although it was so quiet, I doubt anyone else heard.

"You've heard the rumours, that you got pregnant to trap Christian, that when you didn't get what you wanted, you chose to end the pregnancy," Kate said angrily.

"If anyone is at fault about that night and what happened after it's me" I spoke up, feeling Ana squeeze my hand as she shook her head. Placing a kiss upon my hand she looked to Kate and then the camera.

"To know the truth, you need to know and understand how life was back then for both of us…. I grew up in a house of fear most of the time, the only light back then was the only man I knew as a father and my boys, Christian and Luke. My… mother, if you can call her that, to her, I was a burden, one she did not want to be around and when I was there, she took pleasure in my misery. She had no qualms about pulling me away from everything I knew, it was like some sick game to her. I had been dragged from pillar to post and when I finally left, it was through fear of her, and the men she brought into the house. Now I know some will say that has nothing to do with what happened between Christian and me but to go through that abuse, it plays with your mental state, makes you cling and hold onto that light."

"I drank a lot back then" I stated. We were in this together and we would tell it together, I would not have Ana doing this alone. I would not have people thinking she had seduced me when it was the other way around "I wasn't exactly the easiest person to live with back then. I was adopted when I was young and for a long while, that affected my mindset and the way I lived. Despite now having the best parents anyone could wish for, I was terrified people would find out that I was born the son of a crack addict and prostitute, acknowledge with the scars I have that I too had been a victim of her abuse. I felt that I needed to prove I was better than the boy I'd been born to be, needing to fit in so I became someone who I was not."

"What do you mean," Kate asked me.

"To anyone who wasn't family, a best friend," I said, feeling Ana squeeze my hand again. "They saw only the mask that easily slipped in place. Everyone's seen that mask, many have written about it too thinking that's the way I chose to live my life, a different woman every night on my arm, to share my bed. That was another lie. They were all paid to be there, paid to put on a smile and then quickly sent home at the end of the night. Whether as a boy or a man, whether with pennies or billions in the bank I found it hard to banish the lie, finding it easier to continue as it had become to norm to be someone I was not."

"Can I ask about T. R. Grey?" Kate asked quietly, knowing out of all the questions that she'd asked previously that speaking about them would be the most painful of all.

"T. R. Grey, was, no is, our child" Ana spoke softly. "Theodore Raymond, or Tilly Rose, which we don't know because I lost them before I had a chance to even realise, they were there."

"How old were you," Kate asked Ana.

"Seventeen."

"Were you two together."

"No, not in the sense you're asking. As I said we were best friends back then, along with Luke. What we shared then was only one night" Ana stated.

"A night you created your child."

"Yes," Ana whispered. "It was a night of need for both of us, a night we both needed comfort and things went further than they should've done with how emotional we both were but there were no regrets."

"From you," she said, receiving Ana's nod before turning to me. "And you."

"I have so much regret in my life but I don't regret creating our child. The actions after yes, but I will never regret them. I was an idiot at the time, telling the one person that I loved most in the world that what we had shared was a mistake. I'd gotten so drunk and high after, that when I woke the next morning remembering very few details, what I did remember brought nothing but panic. That panic and shame caused me to stay away from Ana, ignore her which in turn upset her so much that she felt she had no choice but to leave."

"No choice," Kate asked Ana.

"Have you ever felt so low that if that cliff edge was before you, you wouldn't hesitate in stepping from it. As I said my boys were my light and thinking I had lost that, along with the constant mental abuse from a parent who should love and protect you, I didn't know where else to turn. I felt the pain she caused me could in no way compare to the pain I felt inside at losing those so close to me so I agreed to live with her, just one of the many mistakes I made upon the way…. I miscarried my baby, our baby as her words of disappointment, of being called a whore filled my ears. If I'd felt low before, it was nothing to how I felt then."

I know the cameras were still recording as I pulled Ana to me, her tears, her feelings still raw as the day our child left our lives, she told me as she cried. I could hear Rose's sobs, my mother comforting her.

If these people spreading lies over the internet, the press fuelling the fire with articles that didn't report an ounce of the truth, if they wanted to know what really happened, they knew that now. I hope wherever Carla is, she's watching this and is wallowing in misery to know that no matter how many tears she causes, she will never be better than the beautiful woman in my arms. She's only done this because her daughter is happy, only done it because like always she's jealous of the person Ana became. I will find her wherever she is and make her life a living hell but being addressed as she is now after Kate asked what Ana would ever say to the person who started this, has got to hurt too.

"I know who started the rumours, Carla whatever your name is now. I say that as you have been married so many times, changed your name to so many others trying to change mine too over the years that I doubt you or especially the poor man you have pulled in this time has a clue as to who you really are. I will not call you mother as you never were that to me… I know it is you with some of the details you revealed, those you knew would cause me the most pain. You can bring my tears forth, bring back memories of a painful time but no matter what you say or do, you will never beat me. With the love of others, my grandma who you told I had died at birth, Ray, my dad who even though I know is no longer on this earth he's still with me and lives here, along with my birth father" Ana spoke, putting her hand over her heart. "I've flourished, I've grown, I have a life of knowledge, one of peace, all things you never gave me. I have my boys back now and because I was weak in mind and body, something you played on, I allowed you to rip me from their lives once before, something I will never let you do again. Now, these are my final words to you Carla as I will never utter your name again. Wherever you are, stay the hell away from me. I will not allow you to dirty my child's name, a name we're both proud of, a name that heads the foundation Christian has set up, which will help many people here at home and across the world. You are not worth my time or energy to even think about because believe me if you continue your lies, it will not be me you will be dealing with."

"No, it will be me" Dad spoke up, coming into view of the camera which brought a smile upon Ana's face.

Carla would know who the man was with no introductions and she would also know just how much of a powerful lawyer he is.

After ending the interview, Kate asked us how we were both feeling at speaking out and what was next for us both.

"Big plans" I stated as Ana looked to me.

"More plans," she asked seeing my nod. "What are they."

"Plans for the future, our future," I replied getting to my feet before taking Ana's hand to help her up.

"Where are we going," she asked as I led her across the yard to our family tree. Under it, feeling those who were gone from sight surrounding us now as well as the family we had here, I got down on one knee.

I didn't have the ring with me yet but that didn't matter, I had the next best thing.

"Christian" Ana whispered, her hand coming to her lips.

"It took me ten years to find you Ana, ten years to tell you the truth."

"And what's that," she asked.

"That I love you, that I've always loved you and I want you to be my wife."

From my pocket I brought out a strand of Barnard's thick hair, one thankfully he had not protested to me taking when I had cut it from him. I had tied it into a makeshift ring, one that I now held against the tip of her finger.

"Anastasia Lambert, Professor. I love you more than I can say sometimes, my words getting muddled as you know" I spoke seeing her beautiful smile. "I want to spend every day with you, wake every morning with you even if that means I have to get up early and shovel alpaca shit just to be by your side."

My words brought her giggles, her words following too.

"You can only do that if you have the right equipment, especially dads hat."

"Of course, never forget the hat…. I want to give you the world, even though I know you would give it right back. I know you have no need for material things, all you want is to celebrate life, I want to be by your side for each accomplishment you make and be there to hold and encourage you if life gets hard. Ana, Boo, I love you and I would be honoured if you agree to become my wife."

I didn't have a chance to get up as the first yes reached my ears as Ana dropped to her knees in the dirt in front of me under the shade of the tree.

"Yes, yes I will be your wife" she spoke, giggling once more as I pushed the ring onto her finger.

My words of her real ring is ready to be picked up when we get back to Seattle were soon muffled as her lips met mine as the crowd around us celebrated, no doubt with the ones up high.

Only after did we find out that a camera Ana had previously set up on the alpaca's enclosure, one that was broadcasting through the university website and to Dembe in Africa so the children there could see the alpacas back here had captured my proposal. There were no worries about that as there was no more hiding to be done, our love, our child's life was out there to celebrate for the whole world to see.

**Thank you for reading.**

**I know some of you would have wanted the big hearts and flowers proposal but I felt that didn't fit this Ana and Christian and the way and where he did it after listening to Grandma's words, was personal to them. **

**Until next time, take care. **

**Caroline. **


	20. Chapter 20

APOV

One day of classes I had missed after the interview and I refused for it to be two. That one day was only so extra security procedures could be implemented both at home and the university.

As far as I was concerned, I didn't see anything different with security, it felt the same as before all of this happened as they kept their distance or stayed out of sight.

The only difference I did notice when I was walking to the auditorium where I planned to speak to all groups today, was that many stared.

Thankfully my focus went from everyone around to my phone when it rang.

"Hello."

"Hey Boo, where are ya."

"Where do you think I would be on a Tuesday during term time," I asked Luke, unable to control my smile especially at his following words.

"At the salon, having your nails done, hair. You could have a pedicure too."

"Luke" I laughed. "You more than anyone should know what happens if you try and touch my feet."

"So very true" he groaned. "I think I was walking funny for a week. I was only trying to tickle your feet after you soaked Christian and me with the hose" I heard him say as I greeted Ashley and Darla, another girl in my group who were heading the opposite way.

"Are you not attending the class?" I asked them.

"Of course, Professor, I've left my work in the car," Ashley replied.

"Ok, don't be late."

"Who was that," Luke asked as the girls continued in their direction and I continued in mine.

"Some students of mine."

"Oh right. You're not getting trouble from anyone there are you." 

"No, I've had many people stare since I arrived not long ago but apart from the girls, no one has said anything to me. I have nothing to hide Luke and neither does Christian. Our child is a part of us both and they will not be hidden" I told him.

"I agree, now I have a problem. Something I want to speak to you about before you start your day."

"And what's that," I asked him, taking a seat on the small wall just outside the auditorium doors.

"Do you remember when we were kids."

"Vaguely" I teased. "It's so so long ago."

"We're not that old Ana, well you might not be. I feel ancient now, thanks."

"What were you asking about" I laughed.

"Christian asked me to be his best man."

"Did you expect him not to?" I asked.

"No, and I would've been pissed had he not done so. No, I'm kidding, I wouldn't have been if he had wanted Elliot but instead, he asked me."

"Elliot's his brother, yes Luke but as that saying goes, friends, best friends especially, are the family we choose. You're his brother just as much as Elliot is, being a best friend also gives you that added advantage above everyone else."

"Which brings me back to my problem."

"Which is," I asked.

"When we were kids and we told you, no boy would ever get near you unless he had our approval, that if Ray couldn't when you got married, one of us would give you away."

"Yes," I replied, smiling as I thought of how protective of me they were then and how nothing, despite the years we were parted, had changed in regards to that.

"Well, Christian can't give you a way to himself and with me being his best man..."

"That leaves Grandma" I stated, having already asked her yesterday when it was just the two of us at home while Christian was with Taylor and someone called Welch sorting security out.

"Grandma's going to give you away," he asked.

"She is that, and I can't wait."

I looked down to my hand, my finger which now wore two rings. One made of platinum which shined with diamonds and the other just as pretty, made of fibre, Barnard's fur. Both were special to me even though I know one won't last that long. Barnard would only be too happy to let Christian make another in the future though, I would only have to ask.

I could sense the relief in Luke's voice that he hadn't let me down. He'd needn't have worried though as I know whichever part, he plays in my wedding he will always be by our side.

His words of support were what was running through my mind when I stepped out onto the stage of the auditorium, one filled with students of all classes that were teaching all aspects of agricultural. When the questions came after, those too made me smile as they were about the slides my students, in particular, had already seen and had now been shared with all and where we go forward from here.

Bigger, is where we go, taking a larger area of barren land and making that flourish, something the original albeit generous budget wasn't able to do. Speaking of my plans with Christian to look for some areas in the States as well as expand overseas, the budget had been expanded to whatever was needed. Only I knew that though and it would be released as to when needed, otherwise, I could see some here at this university, some in other departments seeing available money and spending it on useless things like new uniforms for the cheerleaders even though they only had them last year and not essential things like growing food to eat.

Walking back to the car after my last class, I could sense my CPO's were close. I had nodded to Ryan in the security office that I was leaving for the day as I passed and it didn't take him long to follow. When I arrived at my car though, at this time of day mine was not the only one here. Ashley was here and by the look of it she was on her phone having a heated conversation with whomever she was speaking to.

I nodded to her when she noticed me, pretending not to notice how red her face was. My focus went to my own phone then when it started to ring.

"Good evening Mr Grey."

"Hello, beautiful" he replied.

"Not that I'm complaining but I didn't expect to hear from you yet," I told him.

"I know, I'm waiting on a video call from the Philippines so I'm going to be late getting home this evening."

"Ok, why don't you call me when you're free then and not the other way around."

"I will baby," he said before I turned when I was spoken to.

"Goodnight Professor Lambert" Ashley spoke quietly, walking past me as if she was heading back to the building.

"Goodnight Ashley, do you have an evening class," I asked, wondering if she had taken on the beauty class she originally wanted to do.

"No Professor, the work I left in my car this morning, I've forgotten again, it's still in my locker along with the assignment you set today. I want to get started on it tonight."

"Alright, I will see you in the morning" I replied before going back to Christian. "Sorry about that."

"It's ok, you're still at work. Who was that?" he asked, just as Luke had done earlier.

"One of my students," I told him before getting into my car.

"Have they been giving you any trouble, Luke said that some were staring at you."

"No, I think some are expecting the press to invade campus again, there's always some who love the drama. With security ramped up, unless you have a staff or student pass, you're not getting on campus."

"Does that mean I can't meet you after work again?"

"No, you're fine. I have a pass just for you saying VIP. I will give it to you when I see you Friday night."

"Friday, it's so far away" he complained making me laugh.

"I know it is but we did have an extra day together."

"I know Ana, I just miss you when I'm not with you and when I am the time seems to fly by. I've been looking at something."

"And what is that," I asked.

"A property, one for after we're married as it needs a bit of work."

"Where is it," I asked nervously, wanting nothing more than to live with him, wake every morning with him but I was worried about leaving grandma on her own.

"Not far from where you are" he assured me. "Don't worry, I will travel, you won't have to unless it's the short distance to grandmas or the university. There is room for Grandma to come with us, a cottage also should she want her independence that once it's been renovated would be perfect. I suspect though with how much she loves her home, she would rather stay there so that's why I found somewhere close."

We both heard a beep then, Andrea's voice following over the intercom to let him know that his video call would start in a few minutes. Telling Christian, I would speak to him later, I ended the call.

Back at home, I spoke to Christian that night after dinner, spoke to him while I was in the middle of the alpaca enclosure. Like always when I was in here recently, I'd taken photos of the animals, Mike and Sully especially, a record for me to show already how much they had grown. It was in here that I also watched Barnard closely because like every day since the coyote had paid us a visit, he was on guard.

"What is it boy," I asked when I had finished speaking to Christian. I would speak to him later like I always did when we were apart, once I was in bed.

Barnard, of course, couldn't answer me with words but with the whines, the spit aimed towards the corner of the property, he wasn't happy about something.

Stroking the back of his neck to reassure him, I left the enclosure heading in the direction of where Barnard was looking. Picking up a broken piece of fence post that Christian had removed over the weekend in case I came face to face with a coyote or some other visitor, I walked along the fence line, seeing nothing.

The area beyond my property was mostly open fields, empty now the cows had headed in for milking. There was a line of trees on the east side and as I looked along them as far as I could see, just like with the field, I could see nothing out of place.

Maybe he's still on edge from our visitor, whatever it is though, he's not normally like this.

"Problem" Grandma asked me.

"I don't think so. Barnard's on edge but I can't see anything out there" I called to her.

"He's been like that all day" she admitted, entering the enclosure. "Maybe he's warning anything that may be out there not to come close."

"Maybe" I admitted.

Barnard's emotions if you could call it that, his lack of hormones since he was gelded has meant he's been all over the place sometimes. Maybe he's still adjusting to it, still trying to get a handle on how he's feeling inside. Whatever it is, he's not happy about something as even with Grandma speaking to him now, his focus is still on the area where I was.

"Is that where the coyote got in?" Grandma asked of the section I went back to which Barnard was still staring at.

"Maybe, Christian did replace this whole area" I replied, turning my back on it as I joined Grandma in the enclosure.

I stayed outside until the animals were safe and secure for the night, Barnard finally relaxing enough to have some fun with the others. When it was me tucked up safe and secure in my bed, it was Christian's voice down the phone that lulled me to sleep, just like it does every night.

….

CPOV

A voice through a phone, why could that one voice play on my mind so much.

It wasn't the voice of my beloved that I was thinking about, although she is on my mind, in my thoughts every second of the day. No, it was a voice that I'd heard when I was speaking to Ana, one that I'm sure I've heard before but couldn't place.

Thoughts of that voice disappeared from my mind when a grim-looking Taylor entered my office, followed by an even grimmer looking Welch.

"What is it," I asked, waiting for one of them to speak.

"Sir," Taylor spoke up. "We've been looking into who released the information on Ana, sorry Professor Lambert..."

"No Taylor, if Ana has told you to call her that, then please do so. I will only get in trouble if I try and forbid it."

_Wrapped around her finger_ Taylor mumbled under his breath with a smile. I didn't correct him though as I happen to agree.

"Thank you, sir," he said, words that I should hear this time. "As I was saying, we've been looking for who released the information on Ana, her mother in particular and this is what we've found."

He put the file he'd brought in down in front of me, each page as grim as the next. The many husbands she's had, the poor souls dragged into her games, her lies only to be left with nothing once she'd moved on. She had a police file as long as my arm, charges of theft and extortion to prostitution too. It was the last page that gained my attention most, the look on their faces matching mine.

"Is this right?" I asked them.

"We believe so, Sir. We struggled to find the information initially as she'd changed her name again but there was no marriage to match it" Welsh replied.

"I need to get to Ana," I told them both as once again my helicopter was needed and again they were coming with me.

….

I was as agitated as Ana had told me Barnard has been for the past few days. Willing first the helicopter to fly faster through the rain that now fell and then the car to speed as we headed towards Ana's home where I knew she would be at this time of day.

We entered the parking lot of RoseAna's just as the last car was leaving, the closed signs now being changed on the door. Parking around the side beside Ana's car which was still warm, I entered the kitchen, startling both women inside.

"Son, you scared me" Grandma spoke, her hand over her chest.

"I apologise, I needed to come and see Ana, see both of you."

"What is it," Ana asked, as I wrapped her in my arms, having missed her so much in the few days since I had seen her.

"Son, what's wrong," Grandma asked also, seeing how tightly I was holding her granddaughter.

"Do you want me to" Taylor spoke up from the doorway, being gestured inside by grandma, Welch too.

"Please" I replied.

"Welch and I have been looking into where the story came from that was released, looking for your mother to warn her to stay away" Taylor stated.

"What, Christian?"

"I didn't want her upsetting you again Ana, she's already caused you so much pain. I didn't want her interfering with our future."

"Have you found her?" Grandma asked, her voice tinged with anger, hatred for that woman.

"In a way" Welch spoke up.

"I don't understand" Ana whispered.

Taylor walked forward, handing Ana the papers he had shown me in the office, ones I'd thought I had left behind in my haste to get here.

I watched as Ana read through the papers until she got to the last page, her eyes widening just as mine must have done.

"What is it dear," Grandma asked her.

"Is this right?" Ana asked, a question I had asked myself in the office.

"Yes, we've checked and double-checked. I've read the police report and was able to see in that, the final photo of her too" Taylor told her wincing.

"These papers say that Carla Stuart is deceased, she died of a drugs overdose three years ago."

"If she's gone then who knew those details, who else knew what went on," I asked Ana.

"Christian" Ana whispered, her body shaking in my arms. "The only other person who knew what happened was her husband at the time, Stephen Morton, husband number three."

**Thank you for reading. **

**I'm not sure if that's classed as a cliffhanger, a little one maybe. I will have the next chapter up as soon as it's finished, hopefully later this week.**

**Until then, take care. **

**Caroline.**


	21. Chapter 21

APOV

Seeing Christian appear in my kitchen had shocked me at first until the shock was replaced by worry and then panic at what I'd just read.

Carla was gone and only one other person was there and had known what I had gone through when I was seventeen. Just the thought of Stephen Morton made me shake as I now did in Christian's arms.

"Ana, baby, talk to me."

"You asked me to tell you about three and six" I whispered.

"Only because I wanted to make sure they stayed away from you."

"Six, I was only there with him for a short time before I left but when I left Ray, she had already set up home with three. His name as I said is Stephen Morton and he took as much pleasure in making me as miserable as she did." 

"Sweetheart, sit down," Grandma told me as I continued to shake, terrified of going back to that dark place again. I sat down on one of the dining chairs Taylor pulled out for me.

While sat down, I looked around all that was here, all waiting for me to speak except Welch who had excused himself to step outside to make a call, wanting from what bit I could hear of his conversation, information on Morton. I could feel Christian's hand tightly in mine, I could feel Grandma watching me too and like when we had spoken about my past before, I felt a need to protect her from the truth.

"I wasn't in a very good place when I left Montesano and she took advantage of that as you know."

"What happened with him Ana, you've told me a few details but not much," Grandma asked, taking a seat also.

"Because I wanted to spare you."

"I don't want you to spare me, sweetheart. I may be old but I can still handle the truth, still protect you as you should've always been."

"I know you can" I smiled sadly. "Do you really want to know everything."

"Yes."

I took a deep breath, feeling Christian squeeze my hand, letting me know he was there for me as I started to speak.

"Leaving Montesano was one of the hardest things I'd ever done as although I was leaving pain behind, I had no idea where I was going. It was a dirty motel we spent the first night in, Carla and I. I knew she was with someone else, she had left Ray for him but until we arrived at a small run-down house the next night after driving all day, I had no clue who this person was."

"Was he mean straight off?" Grandma asked.

"There was certainly something off about him, the way he smiled at me, looked at me as if she had just brought him the greatest prize. When he spoke to me at first though he came across as polite and for a very short time, I wondered if, as I wasn't in the best headspace right then, if I wasn't imagining things. It was after" I spoke, a tear falling down my cheek.

"After what" Christian asked.

"After I'd lost our baby, it was after then when I was back in that grotty home again that he started behaving differently towards me. Little touches when we passed, invading my personal space and then I woke…"

"Ana, breathe, you're hyperventilating," Christian told me.

I couldn't breathe, I felt the room was closing in on me and I needed to escape so I could catch my breath. I stumbled to my feet, running for the door and out towards the alpaca's, collapsing in a heap on the ground halfway.

I could hear the ruckus coming from the animals at my distress, the spitting, the screeching as they looked for a threat. I felt arms around me then, holding me tightly. Christians soothing words to try and calm me down, filling my ears.

"He was over me... He was in my room, standing by my bed at first, stroking my hair. That was before his hand came over my mouth to stop me from screaming. He called me a whore just as she had done and said if someone had already had me, then anyone could."

I didn't realise my words had become a screech, matched only now by the animals in the yard. That upset me more than the story I'd had to tell as it was me that distressed them.

"Shh, shh Ana, he can't touch you" Christian whispered in my ear as he held me on the now muddy floor. The rain continued to fall around us, over us but neither of us moved.

"Ana, sweetheart, you're going to get sick" Grandma said, trying to sound strong but I could hear the emotion in her voice. I felt numb inside, as numb as my body was now starting to feel before I was lifted from the ground and carried back into the house.

"Why is he doing this" I whispered. "If she's gone, what does this achieve."

"I don't know baby, it can't be money otherwise it would've been the press he'd gone to."

"That man is dangerous, even if it's just in the lies he's spreading. I don't want him near my granddaughter" Grandma barked at all the men that were here.

"He won't get the chance, Ma'am," Taylor told her.

While they continued to speak, Christian took me up to our room and into the bathroom. There he stripped us of our clothes before we entered the shower, where he washed all of me. In here with my body now warm again, the tears started to fall.

It was later that night when we joined the group, my tears all gone for now. I had told Christian everything while we had been in that shower, followed by the time we lay on the bed. He knew every excruciating detail of my time with her.

"Are you alright?" Grandma asked me as we sat out on my favourite place, the porch, the rain, soothing now as it hit the metal roof above us.

"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't tell you it all a long time ago. I thought giving you details but sparing you the worst would be best."

"Your pain is my pain, Ana. You're my blood and I want to know about anything that hurts you."

"I promise no more secrets unless it's about a gift I'm going to give you" I smiled, as she took my hand, squeezing it gently before it joined her other, wrapped around her cup.

"Those secrets I can just about manage but if I know something's hiding here, I have to peek."

"And that is why your gifts for Christmas and birthdays are never kept in the house" I laughed.

Talk turned to a happy subject then, my wedding as Christian and the others, Ryan and Reynolds included seemed to be having a meeting inside the house.

"Location," Grandma asked.

"Either here, or at Grace and Carrick's place."

"A home wedding" she smiled.

"A quiet family wedding is what we both want."

"Where here, though," she asked.

"Beyond the family tree. We were thinking late spring, early summer before the grass is cut. It will be like a meadow then, we can cut the areas that are needed, an aisle, room for seating but leave the rest so we have our wedding flowers surrounding us."

"That's a beautiful idea, sweetheart. Having it here, you will have additional guests too" she smiled, pointing to all the animal areas where most were now asleep.

"Very welcome guests" I agreed.

We spoke more about, colours, cake flavours, all things I had previously spoken to Christian about, although he knew nothing about my dress. I had a few ideas of the dress that I wanted, pictures I would show grandma soon that I had found online, and in the bridal magazine, I'd left in my locker at work. No pictures would be shown today though, not with the groom in the house.

…

I couldn't find it, it had been here on my desk in the greenhouse when I'd left last night but now, it was gone.

"Professor, have you lost something" Abigail, one of my students finally asked as they had watched me frantically search.

"Um, no its nothing" I lied, facing my class now, before I gave them instructions of what we would be doing today.

My mug was what was missing. A simple thing that some wouldn't give much thought to whether it was here or not. To me though it had been a precious gift, given to me by my students that had graduated earlier this year.

"Professor, are you sure we can't help you find whatever is lost," Ashley asked, her voice loud this time over the noise, no longer the quiet student she was just a few weeks ago.

"No, it's fine, please get on with your work," I told her.

There was something different about Ashley today, her hair, that's what it is. It had always been long and brown, held back in a ponytail but today, she had left it down with a clip to one side, styled, just like mine.

Come to think of it now, when I look at her this isn't the first time I've noticed that about Ashley. Her clothes, the way she walks, talks, it was like she was trying to copy me.

"Stop it Ana" I mumbled to myself. I was probably imagining it, still on edge and seeing everyone and everything as a threat, which I've done ever since Christian had burst into my kitchen earlier this week. He's still here, working at home or trying to when grandma doesn't get him doing something. Yes, my mind was all over the place and I know my mug will turn up, probably under the leaf of a plant I had been working on in the botanical greenhouse, just like where I had left it when I'd been working before.

"What are you looking for" I heard Christian ask as I was bent over, looking under the large fern leaves that filled the borders that edged the winding path through the botanical greenhouse, my favourite greenhouse out of all that was here.

"My mug," I said, getting back up again. "Oooh, headrush" I groaned.

"Steady" he smiled, his hands coming to my hips. "Have you planted it."

"Planted what," I asked.

"Your mug" he replied.

"No," I laughed. "It's just missing. I've left it in here before when I've been working, you'd be surprised what you find hiding under a leaf. Penny found her greenhouse keys in here a few weeks ago, they'd fallen out of her pocket when she'd been teaching a class."

"Where did you last remember seeing it," he asked me.

"On my desk, in greenhouse three where I mostly teach."

We headed back towards that greenhouse but still, I couldn't see it. If it hadn't been a gift, I wouldn't give it a second thought, I'd just go out and buy another but it had been a gift and I wanted to find it. I'll look again tomorrow, ask the other Professors who had already left for the day if they'd seen it.

Leaving the greenhouses behind, Christian and I started making our way back towards the building that held my classroom, where his car was parked. There were still many students around, those who were attending evening classes, those who had finished for the day and were catching up with friends. It was a group of those day students who we had to walk past to get to the car but just as we approached and the group parted to give us some room on the path, I felt Christian stiffen beside me.

"What is it," I asked him, immediately looking where he was as I started to panic that Morton was here.

"I should've asked Ryan before now" he mumbled.

"Christian, what is it," I asked him again as two of my students approached, Darla and Ashley.

"When I heard her..." he spoke before he was interrupted when the girls reached us.

"Professor," they both said to me, but their focus quickly shifted to the man by my side. Darla was all smiles at Christian, in truth I think she had a crush but Ashley, her actions alarmed me because her head was slightly bowed.

"Ana, come on," Christian said, his arm tightening around my waist as he tried to steer me away from these women.

"Christian?" I replied, my feet standing still, refusing to move on their own. It was his name that was uttered by another that not only pissed me off especially with the words that followed but angered the man by my side.

"Christian, it must be nice to be able to call you that, Sir."

"Don't speak to me, don't speak to her" Christian spoke angrily shocking Darla, Ashley though only smiled.

"I have to" She laughed smugly. "She's my teacher."

"Not if I have something to do with it, she's not."

With that, my feet were propelled forward, Christians arm at my back before I stopped us once we had reached the car before he could usher me in.

"She's one of them, isn't she," I asked, looking back at the group to see _her_ stood staring at me. If I had been closer, I'm sure I'd see a smile upon her face. "A submissive."

"Yes," he whispered, bringing his hands to my cheeks, cradling my face. "When I spoke to you on the phone, I can't remember what day it was.."

"You asked me who it was I was talking to, and I told you it was my students."

"Yes. I asked Ryan this morning to take photos of those that were around, students of yours. He told me after final class would be best as that's when they all leave together. I should've asked him before now but with everything that's happened recently, finding out who owns the voice I'd heard before, one that could've just been from a business meeting wasn't a priority. It should've been, I'm s..."

"Shush, don't you dare say you're sorry. You can't control everyone around you Christian, Luke asked who it was too" I stated.

"What, when."

"When I was speaking to Luke last week while I was here, he heard Ashley's voice and asked who it was."

"Ashley, that's the name she's going by, is it. When she was with me, her name was Ashlyn."

I blanched at his words finally getting into the car, the details coming together in my mind that I didn't want to see or acknowledge, that he'd had sex with her.

"Ana, she was a contract, that's all she was to me. She came to me via Elena, maybe three years ago now."

"Elena, is she the reason she's here," I asked, turning to face him. "Ashley or whatever her name is joined my class late, she was sick or something. She was older than most of my students this year but then she's not the oldest I've taught as anyone who pays the tuition fee can join the course if there's a place. To think I was worried about her failing as she's shown no interest in the class I teach."

"If this is some sick revenge from Elena, it will be her that will be paying for this."

The tyres squealed as we left the campus behind, both of us quiet now, both lost in thought as he drove us home.

I had to teach this woman although I didn't want to, I couldn't just remove her from my class without good reason. What was I supposed to tell Michael, that it was a conflict of interest as she'd had sex with my fiancé, that would expose them both.

I didn't know much about the world of Dominants and submissives, only it was a world where things to most are kept secret. Exposing the real reason as to why I didn't want to teach her would hurt Christian more.

I found come the following Friday morning as I entered the greenhouse, the perfect reason to remove her from my class that had nothing to do with the man I loved. There in pieces on my desk was my mug and as heartbreaking as that was, I welcomed it and the video footage off the camera's Ryan had installed the week before after gaining permission from the Dean. Some of the plants and trees not just in the greenhouse I taught but others as well had been intentionally damaged and we wanted to know who was doing it. The footage we had shown Ashley, Ashlyn or whatever her name was, rifling through my drawer's in greenhouse three and taking my things before smashing my mug she brought out of her bag, down onto my desk. There was also the footage of her damaging what I and many others, took a pleasure to grow.

Upon being shown the footage by Michael, the Dean and campus security, upon her locker being searched only to find various items of mine including a hair slide I'd worn weeks ago, one I thought I'd misplaced, even my bridal magazine that I'd left in my locker, one I'd marked the pages down of dresses I'd liked. It was also the set of greenhouse keys she must have had cut herself, taking a copy from Penny's that ensured her removal from the campus, her place on the course cancelled and her student pass revoked.

I doubt I've seen the last of her, with the screaming she did as she was told to leave. At least I don't have to see her every day now though, and I could finally concentrate on those who wanted to be taught, well except Henry who lasted to the end of the month before quitting after being told to learn or fail, to which he decided to fail.

My classes were calm now, enjoyable, everyone learning just as they were supposed to be. They would not always be like this, as taking the rough with the smooth, it's all par for the course when you choose to teach.

**Thank you for reading. **

**Until next time, take care. **

**Caroline.**


	22. Chapter 22

CPOV

Three people were on my shit list, two had been warned to stay away but the other, his location was unknown.

Elena Lincoln, I had been unsure if she still had anything to do with Ashlyn Bordoff as they didn't exactly get on when the latter subbed for me. Finding out that Ashlyn had visited her salon in the days before her removal from the campus, confirmed that they were still in touch. Elena had protested, of course, stating her innocence saying Ashlyn had only visited her as she was in need of a Dominant and it was Elena who had helped her find others before. I didn't believe a word she said.

Ashlyn had had charges brought against her for what she did at the university and if I hear of Elena Lincoln even muttering Ana's name, I would make sure the same would be brought against her, for theft. I hadn't forgotten how she had stolen money from the salons when I used to help her out with them, I had the proof just waiting to be used should she step out of line and I have a feeling it's only a matter of time until she does.

Whether working together or apart, the plan hadn't worked. Ana knew all the gory details of my time when we were parted, I kept nothing from her even though she winced when I listed the names of those who had submitted to me, none she thankfully knew, their faces neither. She did pick up on the fact that they all had similar features, long brown hair, petite. What could I tell her other than the truth, that I settled for second best at a time when all I wanted was her. I was unsure if my words upset her, or seeing those photos hurt as Ana didn't say much before she moved onto the next. Ana may have beautiful long brown hair, she may be petite but she's nothing like any of those women. She's the strongest person I know that's why Luke and I nicknamed her Boo.

When Taylor had shown us the files he kept on them, an insurance policy he told us it had been for so they knew not to speak of our time together. At the beginning when he'd first come to work for me, we'd had a conversation about those who I planned to have visit me in the apartment below, ones who would be with me for a short time. He'd told me he would make sure that they would never be able to speak of what happened between us otherwise it would not only embarrass them publicly but ruin them financially too. They'd all signed the NDA but with what he was showing us now, with photos, information, should they open their mouths and speak to the press, once what he had gained was revealed, they would never be able to show their faces or work in this city again.

I never knew my CPO could be so shrewd when it came to protecting those he was paid to work for or was it that he was also protecting a friend. The more I opened myself up to those I worked around, the mask long gone from my face, the more I knew above so many others, who I could trust. I'd always trusted Taylor, I had to otherwise it would've never worked but ever since Ana had come into my life, I listened to his advice more, trusted his judgement on how to keep her safe. Welch was another in that sense with regards to Ana, the protection, the trust but as Taylor knew all the details of my life before Ana, Welch only knew the details of who was important to me now.

"Mr Grey, Barney Rubble is here asking to see you" Andrea stated, her words bringing a smile to my lips as I heard my head of IT's protest through the intercom.

"Send him in" I laughed.

Within seconds, Barney entered my office, hands full of laptops, two, tablets, there were three of them as well as a phone or two.

"Hey boss" He greeted me.

"Hello, Barney. Are you having a garage sale and going round the offices to see what you can collect," I asked, seeing shock fill his face.

Barney was still getting used to the real me. The me who didn't shout at him constantly to get things done, the me who was patient now, realising that real results take time in what we all want to achieve.

"I'm going to ignore that and the Barney Rubble comment from her highness out there" he complained. "All this is what I've been working on, for your foundation and to aid the work Professor Lambert has been doing."

"Take a seat," I said, to which he did but only after putting the devices he'd brought with him onto my desk.

All these are what we'd manufactured over the years in our telecoms department, all selling out and used until the next model was brought out. Picking the tablet up that had been the first design that we manufactured, I was pleased to see it in perfect working order, still able to do everything that the later models can do even if it's a little slower.

"You know, no matter how old or archaic some may see them as now, I still love the products we've created" he stated.

"I know you do, your office is filled with them."

"Yes, and it's these tablets, phones, the ones that no one wants in the modern world because everyone always wants the newest things, that I've been working on. If you look at these devices now, there are a few modifications."

I picked back up the tablet that I had held before, seeing nothing out of place on the front. The back though was completely different, filled now with what looked like tiny mirrors.

"Solar," I asked him.

"Yes, you said you wanted something that would give you not only a better signal but also didn't need to rely on an electricity supply. With you wanting these devices to be sent off to the orphanage in Africa, as well as many other places on that long list you gave me, with the weather there as it is, I figured using the sun would be best." 

"It's a genius idea Barney, have you managed to incorporate it into all these devices."

"I have, I even video called my mum in Miami on this, once I had completed some modifications," he said, picking up the first phone that we manufactured, which compared to the devices of today, looked like a brick.

"How did it go," I asked.

"Mum said to tell you, hello, and it's the best picture quality she's seen. I wanted to know, now we have the technology, where do we go from here as I've only been able to get a limited number of these devices back."

"Could we incorporate it into our new products?" I asked him.

"We could but it's how long they would last in a desert environment. Technology now is made to be thin, phones, tablets, everything now is made for convenience, easily breakable, easily replaceable whereas earlier models were made to last. That's why I went back to these instead of building something from scratch."

It was amusing hearing him speak about the technology of the past and that of now. He was right though with what he was talking about so we would just have to see if we can get some of our earlier devices back.

"Andrea, can you asked Maggie and Jordan to come up to my office," I asked, through the intercom.

I could see the startled look on Barney's face as he was probably wondering why I would ask others to come here. He was very particular, my head of IT was, he didn't like others coming in to interfere with his work. They wouldn't be interfering in the devices though, hopefully only bringing them in as Maggie and Jordan were who was running the T.R. Grey foundation for me.

Within minutes the two entered my office, Maggie taking the chair beside Barney while Jordan collected one from my adjoining conference room.

With all three of them sat at attention waiting for me to speak, I told them of my ideas. Those ideas being to do a phone drive, through the foundation. Asking those who had held onto, whether that's as a collector's item or inadvertently forgotten about at the bottom of a drawer, their phones, tablets and for them to send them back to be modified to help others. Most won't do that without gaining something themselves so that would be getting a discount on our new products when they come out in a few months. They want the new, we want the old, as I see it, everyone wins.

"Mr Grey, I have a more detailed background check on Ashlyn Bordoff," Welch said, entering my office just as I'd finished my lunch.

I was just washing up in my private bathroom, so I called for him to take a seat, stating I would be out in a moment.

It took me a few extra minutes to get to him because at present I held in my hand the rose I had given to Ana on a drunken night so long ago. The rose had long since died, it's once delicate petals, fragile now, brittle and although Ana had seen it and told me to throw it away, I had been reluctant to as although it represented a dark time in our lives, it had also been a reminder to how far we'd come.

"I don't need this reminder any more" I spoke to myself, holding the rose over the open bin. Knowing I had a future to look forward to and Ana was at the centre of that, I let it fall from my hand, joining the tissues, the rubbish below.

Leaving that part of my past behind, I stepped back into my office and took the papers from him.

"She had a reason for joining Professor Lambert's course" Welch stated as I started to read the extra details that had been added since her file was put together by Taylor over three years ago.

"Her family, they have a farm?"

"Yes, out in Nebraska."

"I'm sure there are colleges closer to there that teach agriculture and soil science, closer than WSU."

"There are, but there is only one that has Professor Lambert. With Barney's help, I've looked at the student list for those that are on her course, they have come from across the country, some from Canada, Mexico and even further afield just to be taught by the best."

"The other students?" I asked, knowing whatever list he's looked at, couldn't have been received through normal means. Even I wouldn't have been given access to the private information of others, no matter how much money I offered.

"Clean, a few speeding tickets here and there, we all have them though at some point. But out of all of them, there was nothing that would be a cause for alarm, from student or teacher." 

"You did a background check on the other professors as well," I asked.

"You said anyone close to her on a daily basis."

That I did and I'm glad he's been thorough with his work.

He left me to read through the background check before me again as I committed to memory all the details that I read. I hoped to god that I didn't or more importantly Ana didn't have to see this woman again but if we did, I would make her life hell.

It was late afternoon when a much-needed distraction arrived in my office, one I had been waiting for all day. Ana had been in Seattle since yesterday and while I had spent the day in the office, working away, she had been out seeing the sights with Luke.

She was giggling when she entered my office, Luke laughing too at some joke that was unknown to me.

"What," I asked, as I rose from my chair, stepping around my desk so I could pull Ana into my arms.

"Just one of your staff, we shouldn't laugh," Ana replied, laughing even more.

"Who, what am I missing."

"Ros" Ana giggled.

"Oh god, what's she done. If she's tried hitting on you, I'll fire her arse" I complained, remembering how Ros had looked Ana up and down before whistling the first time they met.

"Ros has no interest in me and you know it and believe me the feelings mutual, I'm not into girls. She only does it to wind you up anyway. Besides, that's not what we're laughing at." 

"What are you laughing at then," I asked, placing a kiss to her upturned lips.

"Ros, handling the press and the group of women outside, that have just followed us as we walked from the restaurant."

"Where were your CPO's," I asked.

"Right with us Christian, so calm down. We went to Chippers which is just down the street for lunch, it would've taken longer for one of them to come back and get the car to us, so we decided to walk back as we'd walked there with it being a lovely day. Ros, she was like some Army Major, barking orders for them to get off the property. The women were alright, they quickly had a photo with Luke and went on their way but the press, they looked a little worried when she threatened them with her whip."

"Ros has a whip?" I questioned.

"I have no idea" Ana laughed.

"There must be something about having a R.O.S in your name as Rose is just as scary when she's angry" Luke stated and I had to agree.

Luke left us then as he had a game this evening one Ana and I would be attending. With him out of the office and having Ana finally to myself since I had left early for a breakfast meeting when she'd been barely awake. With my lips on hers, we made up a little of the time we'd lost.

"I should leave you alone for the day more often" Ana stated breathlessly, my lips now nibbling at her neck.

"Please don't, I missed you this morning." 

"I missed you too, don't forget you're the one who left" she replied.

"And tomorrow it's you who will be leaving."

"I know, back to work on Thursday. I'm just glad they granted my leave and Michael could cover my classes."

"Ana you worked through summer even though you were in Africa at the time. That's still work." 

"No, that's fun. It was a pleasure to go over there, I can't wait for the next time we go back."

"I was thinking about that," I told her, pulling her onto my lap once I had sat back down in my chair.

"About what."

"How would you feel visiting Africa on our honeymoon."

"Really" she smiled.

"Yes, I was thinking we could go somewhere romantic, somewhere where it's just the two of us for miles around and then go and spend a few weeks with Dembe before coming back home again."

"I'd love that Christian" she spoke, placing a kiss upon my lips.

Unable to control my smile, I just hoped that what I was about to show her, she would love too.

"It's just an idea, one you will need to tell me if it will work or not as I'm still learning about all this," I said, giving Ana the details for the property I'd found.

"Christian, this is on the other side of Robert," she told me excitedly. "I didn't know they were selling."

"It's not on the market yet, it's supposed to be at the end of next week. I'd called all the realtors in the Vancouver area, stating what I was looking for and one of them called me back with this."

"I've been here quite a few times, they mainly deal with sheep although there is a large pond on the property that I know they hire out to those who love to fish."

"That would have to stop Ana, I don't want strangers coming onto the property. I know people visit your home because you have the farm shop but."

"No one goes around the rear of the house, imagine Barnard's reaction if they did" she added.

"Never mind having a guard dog, we'll have a guard alpaca instead" I laughed.

"Yes, and I suspect that you will want human security as well considering this farm," she said, lifting the papers up. "Is at least four times bigger than the one at home."

"It will all be sorted out before we move in, don't worry about that."

We spoke more about our wedding, the date, May 25th, the venue, her home. We spoke about everything but her dress. We now had a honeymoon destination but the precise details of where we would be going before we visited Dembe would be left to me.

….

Standing in this stadium, the feeling never got old. That feeling of pride that Luke achieved his dream, the feeling of pride also to have Ana with me.

We'd shared hot dogs just like we always did, a beer or two as well to celebrate each touchdown Luke scored. Ana who didn't drink much was tipsy if that's the best way to describe her at the moment, as she sat laughing, in between two of her friends.

"She ditched you then" Elliot teased, smiling at Kate who laughed at something Ana had said.

"No, never. It's nice to see her with her friends because either I'm monopolising her time or she's working on something or other."

"I don't think she minds giving you her time, Luke either. Kate said she was out with him today."

"How, oh the internet."

"Of course, if it's not your movements being recorded, it's Luke's. I'm glad they've stopped reporting Ana as his girl, making out like in the early days that she was sleeping with both of you, that's just gross."

"That's just the press who have nothing better to do. According to some a girl and a guy can't be best friends, spend time with each other without something going on. Anyone who sees those two together, takes a real look at them, can't deny that the only relationship they share is that of siblings. Besides Ana's mine and although I love Luke, I'd fight him tooth and nail for her affection if things had turned out_ that_ way."

"You have no worries there" he laughed. "Although I've never seen you fall out, so watching that would be entertaining, fun."

"You will have a long wait for that brother" I smiled, patting him on the shoulder before he nodded to the girl sat at Ana's other side. "Yes."

"She's nice, she was very shy, polite when Ana introduced us to her on her birthday."

"She is at first when you get to know her but as you can see once she's past that phase of nervousness, she's as loud as all the rest" I laughed when Libby shot to her feet, screaming just like Ana as Luke dropped the ball just behind the line.

Ana saw it at her birthday, how close Luke and Libby had been, how relaxed they were with each other. I saw the smiles the week after when we'd met up for dinner at the Space Needle and I'd brought Libby up in the conversation.

They were together, I didn't know if it was love yet as that's not something you come out with to your best friend. Who am I kidding, Luke would've been asking after the first date had he not known previously how I felt about Ana.

I was happy for him, for them. Libby was lovely and what put her above others, especially the bitch he was with last, was that she didn't shy away when the cameras were on them. She was proud to stand by his side, just like the beautiful one who was now stood by me, placing a kiss upon my lips.

"You taste of..."

"Alcohol" she giggled.

"No, you taste of Ana, my favourite flavour" I stated before devouring her lips, not caring who saw us now.

….

Leaving the stadium, I had Ana wrapped under my arm as we walked back towards the cars. Elliot and Kate were ahead of us, Kate sat on his back as he ran with her, her laughter reaching all of our ears. While Luke and Libby were just a few steps behind, looking back, I could see the smiles upon both of their faces, just before his lips met hers.

"We used to be like that," Ana said, bringing my focus to her.

"What do you mean, used to be," I asked.

"Well it used to be little innocent kisses, now you devour me with each one" she laughed, bringing her hand to my cheek.

"I'd like to devour you when we get home" I stated, "I know what you're wearing underneath that dress."

"Would you now, you'll have to catch me first."

With that, she took off towards the cars with me in pursuit, her steps faltered though when we were close to them, causing me to grab hold of her so I didn't knock us over. What had made Ana stop was now surrounded by our security, Ashlyn.

"What are you doing here," Ana asked her.

"I was watching the game, it is allowed you know."

"My my, where did the quiet girl go" Libby stated and from what Ana had told me previously about her, I had to agree.

"She has a voice, I was just pretending not to use it" she laughed.

"Go away," Ana told her. "Get away from the car."

"I've filed a complaint about you. You had no right to remove me from your course just because I fucked your man."

"You removed yourself from my course Ashlyn" Ana stated, calling her by her real name. "You were removed for stealing, destroying my property and for causing damage to the greenhouses and what grew within. Most of that was recorded so make your complaint, you don't have a leg to stand on."

"You made daddy mad, so angry, you're lucky he left early otherwise I'm sure he would've had some choice words for you" she laughed.

"Do I look like I'm scared. Go away little girl, go and copy someone else's style, their hair. Did you think I didn't notice how you liked to dress like me, wear your hair like me as if Christian would find you attractive" Ana spat, laughing herself at Ashlyn this time. "Go away and find someone else to play your games with because I have no time for people like you."

Ashlyn looked at each of us, a sneer on her face. Had she been here just to see the game or had she come knowing that we would be here. Knowing she was outnumbered and with the stomp of her foot like a child, she walked away heading in the direction of a small car that was parked on the other side of the lot.

"I want her followed, I want to know where she's going and I want you to pay her a visit Taylor once she gets there and remind her of the NDA, she signed years ago."

"Will do Sir" he replied, "But the cars, how will you get back."

"I'll take them," Luke said, "Sorry mate, you're going to have to ride with them," he told Ryan.

Hearing Elliot's protest that being driven by him was second best, we got into the cars, hearing the squeal of tyres as Taylor took off after Ashlyn.

"I'm sorry" I whispered in Ana's ear as Luke started to drive.

"About."

"Her."

"Christian, what's that saying, you have to kiss plenty of frogs to find a prince. Well with you, you had to navigate many trolls to find the Princess."

"No, I found my queen" I stated, kissing Ana passionately all the while Luke and Libby's laughter filled our ears.

Ana's not just my queen, my fiancée, she's the mother of my sleeping child, my world and I will do anything to protect her.

**Thank you for reading. We have a time jump next chapter as Christmas approaches and Ana comes face to face with her past. Writing Christmas in spring ****is always weird, but it's still fun.**

**Until then, take care. **

**Caroline.**


	23. Chapter 23

CPOV

October had been just as busy at work as November and now at the beginning of December, things still haven't slowed down. So the days I got to spend with Ana were cherished and perfect, just as the day is now.

"Barnard and the boys can have that barn when they grow bigger, the girls that one and we can split the pasture" Ana spoke excitedly pointing to the buildings which formed part of our new home.

We'd owned the property a few months now but both being busy with our jobs, this is not the first time we'd been here but it was the first time we or should I say, Ana, had time to plan where everyone would go.

"The fences will need an upgrade, I don't think any of the animals will appreciate being surrounded by barbed wire, I know I certainly wouldn't," I said, pulling a piece of sheep's wool from the barbs, wincing at the thought of alpacas skin against this.

"Well, I happen to know a fencing expert, someone who's had plenty of practice in the past six months."

"Six months, is that all it's been since I've had you back," I asked, wrapping my arms around her waist, bringing her focus to me and not the barns. "So much in my life has changed."

"For the better?"

"Do you really have to ask, Ana?" I said as she shook her head, a beautiful smile appearing on her face.

"Well, if you count from your interview with Kate, we're close to seven."

"God, that interview" I laughed. "Who would have thought that after that day, I would actually like Katherine Kavanagh."

"Kate's lovely, once you get to know her or more once you realise that she will never tell or sell a story about a friend."

"Yes, I bet her fathers livid about that" I replied.

"No, Eamon's fine. Besides, it's his wife who wears the pants in that relationship, who like her daughter loves me so if he did go behind their backs and wrote an article about either of us, he would have them to deal with."

"That might be fun to see" I laughed as we stepped into the barn out of the light snow that had started to fall. In here just like the animals will be, we were lovely and warm.

….

Back home at RoseAna's that night, I was checking in with Taylor while Ana warmed up in the bath. She had put the animals away for the night while I had caught up on some work, this for the charity ball Ana, I and not forgetting Luke were throwing in just a few weeks.

It had been fun to hear and watch the reports of how people were earning their seats at reportedly, Seattle's highlight of the year. You had women who usually sat at home, shouting orders for their staff to fetch them this and that, volunteering in soup kitchens and homeless shelters, their husbands fixing up the homes of the poor and elderly, while others cleaned the streets.

Luke's Seahawks team, the Mariners too had been working their way through the elderly care homes in the area, giving the buildings inside and out a fresh lick of paint, replacing equipment and carpets too as well as learning a little ballroom dancing from some of the residents along the way. Everyone seemed to be having fun while they went about their work, giving them a new insight not only into how the lesser off people of this city live but also how giving a little of their time can help others so much.

Many would've earned their seats by the help they've given but there will also be those who they will share their tables with that give their all, in the homeless shelters and soup kitchens, the care homes every day of the year.

Ana, Luke and I wanted to earn our seats also even though we were hosting the event. So we retraced Ana's steps from the previous year, hiking the same route she'd taken, raising money once again for the cancer charity in Ray's memory. Each step we'd taken, each blister that had now thankfully gone away, was worth it especially to see the smile on the face of those who need the money when the cheque was handed over.

"Sir, Elena Lincoln has tried to gain a seat."

"And what the hell did she do to help others" I replied.

"She said she was giving free haircuts, providing wigs for cancer patients."

"What, really," I asked.

"That's what she said, but she has no evidence to show it. I think she thought she could just pick some random cause and we would not ask for information. I mean others have recorded their work like you asked, sent their videos in to be shown on the T. R. Grey foundation website where anyone can see them. We checked with the cancer charity she said she was working with and they have no clue as to who she is. They work with another salon, one in the centre of Seattle that discreetly helps those in need all year round and they too have nothing to do with her."

"Have they applied for a seat?" I asked him.

"No, this is just something the like to do regularly to help out and seek no reward for doing it."

"Contact them, ask them if they want to attend, if they do they can have her place because she certainly won't be attending. Now with regards to the others."

"As you know, Miss Bordoff was last seen boarding a plane to Florida two days after I had followed her home and warned her of the consequence should she continue. Barney is still keeping a check on the airlines for her name but nothing so far. Hopefully, she listened."

"Hopefully but she wasn't the brightest pebble on the beach so who knows when or if she will pop up again. Morton?"

"Location still unknown sir. His last job as a car mechanic, he walked out of earlier this year, a few months before Professor Lambert and you were reunited. The address to where he's registered living has been empty since then too."

"Why would he just up and disappear," I asked.

"I have no idea, sir. Unless he recognised Ana's face and knew about her work previously, I don't believe he knew where she was until she was thrust into the limelight with you."

"I've put her in danger" I stated.

"No sir, he has. There have been no more stories come out."

"Because there is no more to tell. He can say what he wants now, tell more lies but I believe now with the interview we put out telling the truth, only the delusional will believe him."

I ended my call with Taylor as Ana entered the bedroom in her pyjamas, hair wrapped up in a towel. Taking the hairdryer from her, I dried her hair, making sure I got every tangle out.

"Do you still have work to do?" she asked after placing a kiss to my lips in thanks.

"A little, I have a few more reports to read through and sign off on then I will be all yours."

"Ok, I'll leave you to your work. Would you like a cup of coffee, tea or a glass of wine."

"Coffee please" I replied, placing a kiss to her lips before she rose from the bed and was out of the door.

It was maybe fifteen minutes later when I turned off the laptop that I realised Ana hadn't returned with my coffee. She's probably been chatting with Grandma because I've noticed that once they get started talking about a subject, it takes them a while to stop.

With speaking to Taylor about Bordoff and Morton earlier, I looked over their background checks that I'd left in my briefcase, committing the details to memory this time. I'd read them before when all of this started but I felt I needed to read them again.

Reading Morton's first, I had to fight to push aside the anger I felt at this man. What he'd done to Ana, how he'd made her feel, he needed to feel that pain. It was on the first page of Ashlyn's check that my breath caught though, a conversation coming to mind that was only months, not years ago.

Leaving the stadium after Luke's game and coming face to face with her near the cars. She'd said her dad, her daddy was what she'd called him, he was angry at Ana. I remember Ana telling me it was her dad who had told her to take the course. If it was her daddy that had asked her to do that, why did the papers before me state that her parents were dead.

With that thought alone, I left the bedroom to get Ana's thoughts on this, my steps faltering at the top of the stairs by my ringing phone that I'd left behind. Rushing back to the bedroom to get it in case it was important, it was Ryan's voice I heard on the line and it sounded like he was running somewhere.

"Sir, stay in the house" he spoke.

"What."

"Sir, I saw something small on a branch of the large oak that overhangs the back of the property. I thought it was an animal, a coyote getting ready to jump down so I've been watching it for a while but it's not animal, it's human and has jumped down into the yard."

Rushing to the window, I wanted to scream as I saw the back of Ana as she entered the barn. Running faster than I have ever done before, I was out of the door, and the house, telling Grandma who was watching TV, to stay where she was.

…..

**APov**

**Fifteen minutes earlier. **

"Grandma, tea."

"Please dear" she called from the living room where she was watching, I had no clue what, on TV.

"What are you watching," I asked, taking a seat on the arm of the chair beside her as I waited for the kettle to boil.

All I saw at the moment was men and women walking around in their underwear, none of them uncomfortable with what they saw.

"It's a dating show. First, they get to chat to each other, then the girl gets to choose the two she likes and then they go off together to a room. The boys remove their underwear while the girl gets to chose which one she wants to go on a date with after taking a closer look at their bits. It works the other way as well when the guy gets to chose the girls, but that's next weeks show."

"Grandma, you're watching porn" I laughed.

"No, I'm not," she giggled. "Apparently, a couple from the first series are married and have a baby on the way, the presenter announced."

"The first series, you're saying this crap has been commissioned for more than one. I knew TV shows went downhill when they started showing reality TV but this takes the biscuit."

"You Missy are not allowed to judge. You can watch your gardening and nature programs, I'll watch my tits, abs and ass."

I kissed her head, laughing as I went back into the kitchen now the kettle had boiled, wishing now more than ever for Christian to come down the stairs so he could see what grandma was really like. He thought she was a sweet old lady, he doesn't know the half of it.

I placed grandma's tea down, going back to finish making my own and the coffee when I noticed the light was on in the barn. I thought I had turned it off when I left but then again after being covered in cria shit while checking Sully's temperature, with it light outside at the time I wouldn't have noticed it until now as it was now dark out there.

"Grandma, I'm just going to the barn, I've left the light on. I don't want to come back and find you watching porn."

"All right dear, although I make no promises" she laughed.

Putting my coat and boots on, I left the house and made my way across the yard. Only getting closer to the barn did I start to move faster, hearing the apparent distress from them inside. Had Sully taken a turn for the worse, he'd been drinking from his mother when I'd left.

I opened the large barn door, stepping inside out of the falling snow. Now I was here, I could not only hear but see the distress too.

"Calm down" I spoke, gaining the alpaca's attention. "What's got you all riled up," I asked, opening the gate that separated the feed area to their living and stepped inside.

It was Cotton who was most in distress which made me panic as she was Sully's mum. Looking around them all to see where Sully was, it was me who started to panic as I couldn't see him.

I stepped further into the barn, looking in the stalls and around the large bale of hay I kept for them in here. It was here I found something but not the something I was looking for.

"What, where….. What are you doing in here, where's Sully" I asked the figure that was kneeling on the ground with her head bowed, a figure that didn't reply. "I asked you a question, where is my alpaca and how the hell did you get in."

"The same way the coyote got in" The woman on the floor replied, lifting her head to look at me for the first time.

"Ashlyn," I whispered.

"Yes, that's me. Did you think after all these months I would just go away?"

"Why are you here, how did you get in," I asked again, "And why are you kneeling on the ground."

"I needed to test the security around here, needing to find the perfect way in. Injuring that coyote, watching as it desperately looked for shelter, watching it scale the tree and jump down in your yard and still no one came running, gave me the perfect way in. With all the security you have around the front, I'm surprised you didn't have the same around here, then again with spitting Llamas, you don't need any" she spat herself, pulling alpaca spit from her hair.

"Where's Sully," I asked, looking around her but still not seeing the cria.

"With Daddy" she laughed.

Walking towards her, I pulled her by her hair, dragging her to her feet. I was in no mood for games, I wanted my alpaca back and I wanted him back now.

"Where is he."

"As I said, he's with Daddy. He's very angry with you, at what you did."

"I don't care."

"You should," a man spoke behind me, a terrifying voice I had heard many times before.

Turning around as I pushed Ashlyn away from me, I came face to face with my past that held a now bleating Sully as he had removed his hand from around his mouth.

"Please, he's a baby," I said, ignoring her and holding my arms out in the hope he'd give Sully to me.

"What, you don't want to lose another baby" Morton taunted, his words feeling like a smack to my chest.

"No, I don't. Please, the reason you're here is to obviously see me. You have my attention so please let him go."

I could see him pondering what to do, see his pleasure in prolonging my agony. It was his reaction to Sully's diarrhoea that now covered him which had the cria's feet hitting the floor, who thankfully was now back with his mother.

It was as I looked to the alpacas who were at the other side of the Barn, Barnard in front on guard that I took in the way my boy moved. He had an injury to his front leg, one that was bleeding and causing him obvious pain, one this man must have given him as he took the cria away.

"Ah, aren't they cute," Ashlyn said, looking to my animals.

"You hurt him."

"He was in the way" Morton spat before he looked to Ashlyn and told her to kneel before his full focus turned to me. "You could've been perfect, better than my pet here" he spoke, stroking her hair. I could see from Ashlyn's slight movements that she was not pleased to be told someone was better than her. "I should've been your first but you had to whore yourself out to others, I'm lucky that I'll get to be your last."

"What are you talking about," I asked him, removing my focus from Ashlyn.

"You, did you think I was interested in your mother for her, no, I was only with her to get to you. I seduced her, filled her head with the perfect life I could give her, give both of you should she persuade you to come along. I had plans to make you submit to me just as my pet is doing now but you had to ruin it."

"What did I ruin, nothing. It was you, and her that tried to ruin my life."

"You ruined it by giving yourself to.."

"Me. If you're going to blame someone, blame me" I heard Christian say, his voice filling the small space as he entered the doors I had left open in my haste to check all in here was ok.

It was a scream that left my lips before my words of _Christian, please go _as the gun Morton pulled out was now aimed our way.

"No, stay, come closer. I did expect you to be miles away in Seattle but you getting to see what I'm about to do will save me a call. Should we expect security to come rushing in as well" Morton asked.

"No" Christian replied. "They've all retired for the night" he stated and I could detect the lie as he entered, the alpaca's part of the barn, leaving the gate open to which much to Morton's frustration, they escaped, well except for Barnard who refused to leave.

I know Christian wouldn't have come in here without telling someone or I suspect he was informed of an intruder as there are cameras all around. I know what he's doing and although I love him for doing it, being the target of Morton's anger especially with a gun aimed our way, is not what I want him to be.

"All the better. It's good to see you Christian, long time no see."

"What," I asked breathlessly, how did Christian know this man.

"I have no…."

"No idea what I'm talking about, no maybe you don't. We used to frequent the same places, back in the day, the same clubs and now I know, we share the same taste too. Petite, brunette, mine submits to me very well, as you well know. It's a shame I didn't get the chance to break Ana in too but you got to her first."

"Ana has never been yours" he spat at him. "Why are you doing this" Christian asked tuning to Ashlyn who didn't speak because she hadn't been told to.

"Answer him pet, tell her also how much you enjoyed sharing her,... fiancé, is it now."

"I'm here because daddy asked me to be here, he looks after me so I look after him too. I was with, Sir, three years ago, and fucking, as you will know, he's one of the best."

I knew her words were said to hurt me but they didn't. I knew everything about Christians past, about the women, those who submitted and those who were just paid to be there. Few under contract he had slept with the way she was continuing to try and goad me about now, describing in detail what she had allowed him to do to her, but only one he had ever made love to, that one being me.

"Now, I think it's time for us to leave, we have a lot of time to catch up on. I'll send her back once I've had my fun if you pay up, although you might not want her by then" Morton laughed, his gun aimed at me now, aimed straight at my chest. "Ana, come here."

"No" Christian spoke, stepping in front of me. "I'll pay you whatever you want."

"Always the saviour" he laughed. "You'll take a bullet for her."

"If I have to, you're not taking Ana away from me."

"Really, shall we test that theory," Morton asked, his finger on the trigger, ready to shoot.

"NO" I shouted causing Barnard to once again spit at Morton. "No, please leave Christian alone."

"Quiet," he told me. "Now fucking move Ana, otherwise Grey here and this stupid animal will be full of holes."

He gestured for me to move, my grip on the back of Christian's shirt as tight as his was on mine. I would not allow anyone to separate us again, I refuse to but with a gun now close to my forehead before its moved in the direction of Christians, I whispered my words of love to him, along with words of what I was going to do.

Through the small door at the back of the barn is where we exited, heading in the direction of the perimeter fence, not the house which was the opposite way.

I knew this area like the back of my hand, knew every rock, every plant and every tree. It was my family tree that I passed close to, stepping over the gnarled root that bent up over the ground a few inches before going back under. It was this root that he tripped over in his rush to keep up with me as he told me to continue towards the fence.

I heard Ashlyn's cry of concern, asking if he was alright, she herself holding a gun shakily, one she had been aiming Christian's way as he followed despite being told to stay behind. With the distraction in place, Morton scrambling to get up from the floor and reach the gun he'd dropped, I moved closer, kicking, punching, using every move on him I had been taught by my boys so long ago.

I could also hear grandma's voice as my legs were taken from underneath me, the breath knocked out of me for a moment before the weight that had been on top of me was quickly removed. Christian now continued where I had left off, making sure he caused just as much pain to Morton as he had caused me.

I hadn't noticed in the commotion that Ryan and Reynold were here, both having been in position that once a clear shot had been achieved, they would've taken it. Unfortunately, with alpaca's now running around the yard, a clear shot without hitting one of them would've been hard. Ashlyn who had been quickly incapacitated by Christian was now a crying mess on the floor being stood over by grandma with her shotgun in hand.

"Sir, Mr Grey, you're going to kill him" Ryan spoke, pulling Christian off Morton.

"Its nothing he doesn't deserve."

"Yes, let me at him" Grandma spoke, walking closer to Morton, the end of her gun now touching his nose.

"Ma'am, please "Reynolds pleaded, not sure whether the old woman would shoot.

"You hurt my granddaughter, I should fill you full of holes." she spat at Morton, and for the first time, I saw fear in his eyes.

Christian, Me and now grandma as she hit Morton in the side of the head with the gun instead of shooting him had all had their turn as he lay just like Ashlyn was, a trembling mess on the ground. The bully had been beaten, he would rot in prison for a very long time once we'd finished with him and as the sirens filled the yard, the police putting those in cuffs who had come to cause pain here today, Ashlyn would too.

"I'm sorry" Christian whispered, his voice filled with emotion as I knelt on the ground next to Barnard, trying to check out his leg. My boy was in pain despite still trying to stand and defend his family as he had done in the barn. The vet had been called and would be here shortly.

"What are you apologising for," Grandma asked.

"It's a Christian things grandma" I spoke up, trying to lighten the mood even though my head ached. "He apologies even when he's done nothing wrong."

"Habit" he stated.

"One you need to get out of, now what was it you were apologising for," Grandma asked him again.

"My past."

"We all have one of those," she told him, stepping back so the vet could get closer.

"It wasn't just your past that showed up today, Christian," I told him, holding Barnard's head in my hands, soothing him while the vet checked his leg. "Grandma's right, we all have a past, it's the future though, that's important."

We were all silent as we listened to the vet, telling us thankfully that nothing was broken, Barnard was just cut and bruised. Just, that was bad enough as I shed a few tears that someone had hurt my boy.

With the vet now gone and Barnard reunited with the herd, talk went back to what went on. Grandma had heard Christian on the phone to security as he ran down the stairs before she was told to stay put, no chance of her doing that. Ryan had spotted a small dark figure curled up in the tree on the cameras that had been installed and only when it jumped down into the yard did he realise it was a person, not the coyote he thought it might be. He had alerted Christian immediately, who in turn had panicked when he had seen me head into the barn. When Morton had got in, I'm not sure, probably after her, not seen by my CPO's as they left the camera's behind and had rushed to join us. Christian kept Morton talking so they could get into position but they were not needed to take him down, after all, we had done that very well ourselves. It had all taken minutes, from her being seen to me being in the barn, minutes that could've changed things forever.

Once the statements had been given, the police now gone and calm had settled over the back yard once more, did we have more time to speak.

Christian told grandma about his time as a dominant, blushing when especially after I saw her watching that program earlier, she wanted details of what it entailed and where you go to train.

Grandma as always was teasing my boy, Luke too when she spoke to him on the phone, asking if he was into kinky things too.

"As Ana said before, it's the future that matters, the past is just that, the past. You remember things, special things, sometimes painful things too but you leave behind what is not important to you, and hold dear to the memories that are."

"Thank you, grandma," he said, as grandma got up from her rocker, telling us she was off to bed.

"I don't judge son, we all find our way of coping with things until we find we don't need those ways any more. Besides, did you think I lived as a nun when I was younger? I was a party girl in my earlier years, I could've probably put you, boys, to shame."

With that, she left us alone, needed laughing from all of us bursting forth.

"Are you ok, baby?" Christian asked, pulling me closer.

"I am, despite aching all over. I feel…. free, like I can live my life without wondering if he's ever going to appear. I know we'll have a court case to go through, you can guarantee he won't go quietly and is likely to try and reveal more details of my early life as we go. Like _her_ though, there is no more power in his words, no more pain as the truth has already been revealed."

"I agree, coming out from behind the mask, finally living as myself and not someone I'd invented just to show others, I finally know what it's like to be free. More than anything since you've come back into my life Ana, I know what it's like to be me."

**Thank you for reading. **

**There are a couple more chapters of this story to go, but thankfully the drama is done. **

**Until next time when we have all the fun of the charity ball, take care. **

**Caroline. **


	24. Chapter 24

CPOV

**After every storm comes a rainbow, **that's a saying I've heard spoken before and it is certainly true of today.

Last night, this area was crawling with not only my security but police, not forgetting the stressed Alpacas running around too. I had spent a couple of hours on the phone to my dad also, who with his team were now pressing for the strongest charges to be brought against Morton and Bordorf, plus a restraining order for one, Elena Lincoln too.

I had no secrets from my parents any more, they knew all about my past, not just with the women I hired but the submissives too. Those secrets had not been revealed last night but at dinner at my parents a week after the interview we gave, with Ana sat by my side.

This morning though the calm had returned, just the way I liked it. It may be cold, the snow falling gently from the sky but there was a peace here, one before I had found my Ana again, I had never felt before.

I watched Ana from my position in the goat shed, not caring that my companions were more interested in chomping on my clothes than the food I had just put out, once I had cleared their muck away.

It was grandma who was able to pull my attention away from my girl, who was crossing the yard with a small stool and bucket in hand, toward the large shed where Spot the cow lived.

"You've had your chomp, can I have my clothes back now," I asked, the kid that was helping his mother eat the bottom of my coat.

Gently extracting myself from them and their pen, I decided to follow grandma to see what she was up to. When I reached her, she was sat on the stool by the side of Spot and looked like she was going to milk her.

"Have we run out of milk" Ana called over laughing.

"No, just de-stressing" grandma called back.

"Are you ok grandma?" I asked her.

"I'm fine son. When I was younger, a lot younger than your angel is now" she spoke, looking to my child's initials on the tree. "My father took me out into the barn and taught me how to milk a cow. Spot, old girl that she is doesn't get milk now as it's been many years since she's had a calf. I just find it relaxing, sitting here, listening to the tractor in the distance, hearing the sounds of nature all around me, and this old girl seems to enjoy the connection too. Peace is what I call it, our own little piece of heaven on earth. Spot was the first animal I purchased when I came here, I got her with her mother when she was only a calf. Moop, God rest her soul is buried on the far side of the yard, with the other few we've lost over the years. Do you want to try" she asked, nodding to the teats below.

A year ago, I would've looked at those teats, backed away and made an excuse. Today though, surrounded by the sounds of nature even on this winter's day as the snow continued to fall outside of the shelter we were in, as I sat down, following the instructions from Rose, I found nothing but calm as I milked a cow.

…

"I'm in all of a muddle" we heard from our bedroom, heard the hurried footsteps pass our door.

"Grandma, calm down" Ana called out, opening the door only to close it again, telling me she was no longer out there.

"Is she alright?" I asked as I tried to make sure my bow-tie was on straight in the large mirror of our walk-in closet.

"I think she's panicking, here let me" Ana replied, straightening my bow-tie. "There, perfect" she spoke before placing a kiss upon my lips.

"What is she panicking about," I asked, my hands coming to rest on her hips, feeling the thousands of sequins that covered her red dress.

"She feels out of her element, just as I did when I attended the ball at your parents earlier this year."

Tonight, was the charity ball for the T. R. Grey foundation and we were here at Escala getting ready. Rose had eagerly said yes to attending when we had asked her about it, but now maybe she's regretting it.

"Do you think she would feel more comfortable staying here?" I asked. "I don't want her uncomfortable, Ana."

"No Christian, she is looking forward to this. I think it's just the fact that she's not used to being surrounded by so many people. She will know your parents there, your grandparents, siblings, Luke, Kate and Libby too. Once she's sat down chatting away with them, she will be fine although I just hope the press behave when we pass otherwise, she might have a few choice words for them, you know what she's like."

"I do" I laughed, knowing with them she can give it back twice as hard as they can ask questions of her. She did that after the break-in, asking one snotty female reporter personal questions back as they continued to ask personal questions about us.

Leaving the room, hand in hand we went in search of grandma finding her out on the balcony, the alpaca blanket Ana had made which normally lay on the back of the couch, wrapped around her shoulders.

"Are you alright grandma?" Ana asked from our position at the door, trying to stay out of the cold.

"I'm fine dear, I've finished having my wobble" she spoke, looking to us both. "I have to admit, although I could never live in an apartment, there is a beauty with being up here especially at this time of year. Lights adorning the windows and Christmas trees, excited children, and adults inside these homes."

"I do admit, I rarely come out here" I spoke, leaving Ana inside who had gone to get her wrap while I joined grandma on the balcony.

"You don't."

"No, usually by the time I get home from work, I'm either too tired or finishing yet more work. This place although it is where I live, it has never been a home. Not like your place."

"Or your new property, that will make a wonderful home for you both, and for any future siblings for my sleeping grandbaby."

"It will be, don't forget there will always be a place for you there too," I told her.

"I know and when the time comes and I choose to put my feet up and send all the animals your way, I might join them so don't rent out that cottage just yet."

"It will be waiting for you" I replied, placing a kiss upon the top of her newly styled curls.

Leaving the apartment, we headed down in the elevator, being joined then by Taylor, Ryan, Reynolds and various others that had been arranged to be our security for the night.

I have to admit it was fun to watch as Rose took Taylor's arm as he helped her into the car when I guided Ana around to the other side. It was fun to watch her dishing out instructions to the others too as she made sure they knew what they were doing tonight.

"Who's in charge" Taylor mumbled after closing the door once Rose was inside.

"Do you really need to ask" I laughed, taking the passenger seat as he took his place behind the wheel. Once everyone was in their cars, back and front of ours, we were off towards the Fairmont Olympic where the ball was being held tonight.

We had hired the whole hotel, ballrooms, restaurants, bedrooms, the lot. We hadn't done this just for security reasons, having all areas guarded throughout the night or for privacy as many who had earned their seat were high profile people, many who had personal security themselves, just like us. The main reason we had hired the whole hotel was for those who help others all year round to enjoy themselves, their families too and to be pampered as they deserve to be.

The Senator, the Mayor, to name but a few had tried to get in without doing anything only to be told they had to earn their seat like many others. What they did, everyone would see this evening when before the event everyone's recordings would be shown.

When we were a few blocks away from the hotel, Ana's phone rang.

"Hey brother," Ana answered smiling so I knew immediately just who it was.

"Hey sister" he replied as Ana put it on speaker. "We should dance to that" he laughed.

"Dance to what."

"Hey Brother," he told her.

"Fine by me, are you there yet."

"Yes, we're close. I wanted to check where you are so we can all go in together, only so we don't have to go back out again to do group photos for the press."

"We're a few minutes away Luke, so either wait in the car or..."

"I'll wait in the line" he replied.

"What line, what do you mean," Ana asked.

"The line of cars waiting to drop people off at the front of the hotel."

"Sod that, I can see the line. Get Terry to drive down the side of the others and stop near the entrance of the hotel, ignore the protests of others and we'll follow you in" I said as Taylor did as I asked.

"Fine by me" Luke laughed as we heard him relay instructions to his driver. "See you soon."

We were soon behind Luke's car, watching as someone from security approached ready to tell them they couldn't stop there. As soon as they saw who it was, the camera's now flashing away as Luke offered Libby his hand to help her from the car, security backed away.

We soon joined Luke and Libby, the flashes momentarily blinding us. As usual, it was Rose who stole the show, telling them she had enough problems with her eyesight as it was, without seeing flashing lights.

"Come on Grandma," I said, offering her my arm while Ana took the other and then slowly, we walked towards the main doors of the hotel.

Only when we reached them, as was planned grandma escaped inside being greeted by my grandfather who would escort her to her seat, did we turn towards the camera's as a group and the blinding flashes started again.

We spoke to some of the press, using them to our advantage to speak about the foundation and why we were here. Some asked about the videos that were made, the tasks that had to be done, all took amusement from my answer when I told them, come 9 pm when all participants were inside, would the videos be released for the whole world to see on the foundation's website. There would be no charge for them or anyone else to view the videos on there, to have a chance to show them on their news outlets, then a donation to the foundation would have to be made. Big or small, those donations too would be made public just to show who else is supporting the cause tonight.

"Have you seen any of the videos?" Libby asked Ana as we stepped inside the hotel, leaving the guests who had arrived after us, their five minutes in the limelight.

"Some" she giggled. "A few of the Professors are here tonight and their videos are hilarious."

"Which ones, who," Libby asked, just as excited to see those videos as Ana had been as these were people, they both knew well.

"You know Professor Fielding, how some say he looks like Gandalf or Dumbledore as he has his long white beard which has more mud in, than the pots he's planted by the end of the day."

"Yes," Libby replied laughing.

"Well, he decided to dress up as a wizard, Dumbledore more than Gandalf. He went to the local children's after school centre and read Harry Potter to the kids there. His video was sweet but Michaels" Ana laughed. "He, he" she spoke unable to get her words out, her laughter so infectious that it made those around smile.

"He did what," Luke asked as we walked in the direction of the ballroom.

"He wanted to do something for the hospital, the same one that had saved his daughter when she was a child. So, he with the help of some of the students who thankfully won't be here tonight had taken a hospital bed, made it up complete with a patient and pushed it from the hospital, around the campus and back again collecting donations along the way. The students were supposed to get a mannequin, instead" she giggled. "They got a blow-up doll, one Michael tells me he had no clue about as he doesn't know about those type of things. Besides that being funny, they were also dressed as nurses, superhero capes on their backs as that is what he classes them and the doctors as for saving his daughter. And to finish, still in those nurses' uniforms, they did a parachute jump."

"My god, he certainly wanted to attend the ball" I laughed.

"He did, or he secretly likes dressing as a woman in real life and he took the opportunity and ran with it. Whichever it is, he's certainly earned his seat" Ana smiled proudly of someone she classes as her friend.

We entered the ballroom, saying hello to those we knew along the way, those we would associate with normally, others, the rich and famous who before this night I had not shared the same space with, they were greeted with a smile, a nod and a thank you for coming.

Making our way towards the stage at the front, we stopped for a few moments to greet my family who was already seated with Grandma and Kate. I could see on the screen at the back of the stage, the videos already playing causing much laughter from those around, even from those whose turn it was to show how they participated.

"Grey" I heard behind me, turning to see the Senator and his over-done-up wife. Her make up must have been put on with a trowel, so unlike the natural beauty, I held to my side.

"Senator, thank you for coming. Mrs Price" I said, greeting the wife. "You already know Luke of course but this beautiful woman is the incredibly intelligent Professor Lambert, my fiancée."

"Professor, it's wonderful to meet you" he spoke, shaking Ana's hand. "I've read so much of your work, coming from a farming background myself."

"You still farm now," she asked him.

"I do, I have a farm upstate which has been in my family for generations. It's run now by our son as unfortunately with my duties here, I cannot give it the time needed. It's the perfect place to escape to though when I'm not working, although Margie much prefers city life than tending the land."

"I was once like that" I stated looking to the wife. "Now when I'm out there instead of stuck inside the city, I know where my real home is."

"Well, we will leave you to your other guests. I look forward to reading more of your reports in the future Professor" the Senator smiled before he ushered his wife to their seats.

"Who knew that the usually smartly dressed Senator would prefer to live in jeans and boots to thousand-dollar suits" Luke stated. "Sounds like someone else I know" he laughed looking at me and I couldn't disagree.

When the videos came to an end, Ana, Luke and I took to the stage, all with a microphone in hand. I thought Ana would be nervous doing this but giving speeches before, she took it all in her stride, welcoming all that had come.

"We all have the power to help just one person. You've all proved that from watching these videos tonight, many helping more than just one" Ana spoke. "A little of your time, a kind word, even a smile can brighten someone's day as many of you have learnt."

"Through the foundation, my brother set up is a platform to help others on a larger scale, whether that's helping those with the skills to get the job they need, people who some would've normally written off" Luke added.

"Young, old, we all need opportunities to live, to grow. To eat and to be able to feed those that depend on us. Through Ana's work and now with the T. R. Grey foundation, a foundation that represents our child" I spoke, taking Ana's hand in mine to which I placed a kiss upon it. "Our child may not have been able to take their first breath but in their memory, we can make sure that for those that have, help will be there for them so they thrive."

"So please, as you have earned your seat by helping others in your communities, we ask you now to dig deep to help those others further afield. Here in our own country and those in need around the world. We all need a little help from time to time and sometimes all that is needed is a helping hand" Ana ended before we handed over to the Master of Ceremonies so the night could begin.

Retaking our seats, my dad opened the champagne that had been placed on our table, a toast he gave to a successful night. Our meal was brought out then which looked delicious but tasted even more so especially because I knew where everything on that plate had come from. The Steak, that was from Roberts farm, the vegetables that adorned each plate Ana had grown with her beautiful hands. She had picked it as well, the apples that had grown on her trees that filled the pie for dessert, not forgetting some of the cheese that filled the cheese board at the end had been made by Ana and Rose too.

To say that some were surprised especially as to what she had grown in the space the smallholding Ana and Rose had been reported as having, considering it had filled hundreds of mouths tonight. It wasn't just from there, she had taken with permission from the university greenhouses, food that had been grown there under her tutelage along with bringing others in from the community where she lived that sold their items at RoseAna's, especially when it came to making all those apple pies. Every single plate was cleared with many asking for Ana's help so that the same project could be achieved in their communities.

"Grandma, you're wringing your hands together which means you're nervous, why," Ana asked Rose.

"I wish I had never brought it" she mumbled as she looked over to the stage.

"Her rug" Ana whispered of the rug Rose had made with the alpaca fibre, one Rose complained looked dull and inexpensive next to the other items up for auction.

"Grandma, out of all that's on offer, your rug is what I'd buy the most. You put all your love and energy into that, took the time to make it instead of handing it off to others. That's what this whole evening is about, going back to basics, making something out of nothing, all in the aid of helping others. I doubt I'll be the only one bidding for it" Luke told her, earning a kiss to his cheek.

"I agree and I don't think I'll have much trouble selling it," Ana said, getting to her feet, joining the MC on stage when he called her name. "I hope you're all full and are enjoying yourself" she spoke to the crowd.

"Stuffed thank you" was called from the front table on the opposite side of the room from ours.

"I'm very happy about that Marcus, it's lovely to see you here and I'm glad to see the family are well" she spoke addressing the old man she had spoken to at the Space Needle months ago when he was celebrating his birthday. I'm not sure what they had done to earn their seat here like the others, I suspect thought as they are busy enough on their farm, that Ana had just sent them an invitation anyway.

"Very, thank you" he smiled up at her.

"Good, now. We've been very blessed this evening to have been donated many lots for tonight's auction so I hope despite emptying your wallets and purses to place a donation in the envelope that was beside your nameplate, you've saved more for what is still to come. If not, a cheque will do" she added, making all laugh.

"She's not shy up there on her own" my grandfather laughed.

"No, she's a natural, speaking to others, encouraging them to achieve their best" I replied to him.

"She wasn't always like that" Luke added as the auction started. "Ana was always quiet, shy around anyone that wasn't us." 

"She was until she found her voice" grandma spoke. "Away from the negative influences of that woman she's able to be herself."

"I think you had a lot to do with that grandma," I told her.

"I gave her a home, a family, one where she could be herself, create a life, even make mistakes without the worry of negativity heading her way. All she needed was to be allowed to be Ana, the person she was with you two" she smiled, looking to Luke and me before back at her granddaughter, a smile and pride filling her face.

It was at the seventh lot that the smile slipped from Rose's face, replaced by worry and panic. I think if she had half the chance Rose would've removed the rug from the stage.

"This next lot is my favourite as it was made with beautiful hands. This was handwoven by my grandmother, made on a loom which is older than I am. It's made from Alpaca fibre and by the colours I would say from Flopsy and Cotton. Because their fibre is stain and water-resistant, a kitchen could be a perfect place for this. Being flame retardant, in front of a roaring fire, especially at this time of year, there would be perfect as well."

"Does she want a job?" Elliot asked.

"She has one, more than one" Kate replied.

"I mean, she could sell snow to Eskimos, look," he told her, as many hands went up to try and purchase the lot.

"A perfect product deserves the perfect price" my mother spoke as her hand remained up until she was declared the winner of the rug, at fifteen thousand dollars.

Rose was gobsmacked, unable to comprehend how much her rug had made so she had to take a large drink of her wine. My mother and she were deep in conversation then about the rug that had just been sold and if she could make others for around my parents home.

The evening had been a brilliant success, Ana in bare feet, leaving her shoes beside the table by the time we'd all danced to the last song. With Rose now tucked up in bed, Ana joined me out on the balcony, both of us wrapped tightly under the blanket, the heater that was close to us, giving a little warmth as the snow continued to fall feet away from us.

"Two days until Christmas" Ana spoke happily.

"Yes, and then we have the new year, I'm looking forward to that."

"You are" she replied.

"Yes, I'm especially looking forward to spring as then, I get to marry the love of my life."

"I can't wait Christian. I never thought when we met at the university that first time, your parent's ball after, we would be where we are now."

"I know, we were so mad at the other. So many misunderstandings happened when we were younger and all it took was..."

"Luke" she smiled.

"Yes, Luke and to sit down and get out all that we were feeling not just now but back then. I can't change the past Ana, no matter how much I'd want to, especially wanting to be with you when our child left this earth. I can be with you every step of the way now though and throughout our future."

"I want that, and one day I'd like more children, a sibling or more than one for our sleeping child."

"When," I asked.

"As soon as possible. I think we've waited long enough for the things we want, I don't want to wait any more."

"Like I asked, when. Your shot?"

"It runs out in February, who knows what could happen then, maybe I could be pregnant for our wedding, get pregnant on our honeymoon, making love on the hill."

"Sounds perfect to me, now though if you're not tired, I'd like to get some practice in" I spoke, getting to my feet and held my hand out to my fiancée.

"You don't need any practice" she laughed. "You're perfect at what you do."

"Which is," I asked.

"Taking my body to heights it's never felt before, plus making me scream."

"Sounds like a challenge" I laughed, picking Ana up bridal style, as I said, I'm getting in practice for what is to come.

Practice makes perfect and we practised making our baby all night until the sun came up.

**Thank you for reading.**

**I was asked if there was such a program as grandma was watching and the answer to that, unfortunately, is, yes. Some TV channels will do anything to get viewers but thankfully I didn't have to be one of them to hear about it, it was my shocked mother who told me, after stumbling across it one night when she was struggling to sleep. That's what she told me although, personally, I think she's as bad as grandma and is a regular viewer but she'd never admit to that. **

**We have a time jump next time for our final chapter, a wedding and a honeymoon too. **

**Until then, take care. **

**Caroline.**


	25. Chapter 25

APOV

I wandered down the aisle of cut grass, my hands gently touching the meadow flowers that were at both sides of me now. Entering a space where tomorrow would be filled with chairs, with our family and friends I looked forward to the antique arch, white roses climbing up it, which in just over twenty-four hours I would marry Christian under.

The weather was said to be perfect tomorrow, a warm spring day. Should it change as it has been known to do at short notice around here and a spring shower should come, we would be ready for that and move into the marquee that had been set up to hold our wedding reception. I doubt we'd need to though as if tomorrow is like today, jackets would be shed too.

"It will be perfect" I heard behind me as I turned with a smile to greet the man who at 2 pm tomorrow will be my husband.

"I know it will be. I can't believe tomorrow I will be your wife" I spoke, stepping into his arms. "The time has passed so quickly."

"It has, thankfully" he replied, bringing his lips to my own.

I would never get enough of this man, one who I felt I've waited for all my life. I loved all of him, his mind, his body, his smile but more than anything I love his heart.

We'd kissed many times before out here, kissed many times also inside the house. We had shared many kisses in what will be our new home too as we had planned, and with the help of Elliot, renovated it.

My days left living here now numbered one as once we were back from honeymoon we would be moving into our new home. There was no sadness as such at leaving this place as I will return most likely every day.

"I think someone wants attention" Christian whispered in my ear upon us breaking our kiss to take a much-needed breath.

"Who," I asked as he nodded over to the alpaca enclosure, seeing Sully looking at us through the fence.

Whereas Mike was always up to mischief and would try and escape any chance he got, Sully was a mommy's boy, never straying too far from her. He also liked to follow me around when I was in with them, booping me in the head just as his father liked to do when I was bending down to do something.

They had both grown so much since their births, no longer Bambi trying to walk on spindly legs. They had all been sheered recently, and after shedding their thick fleeces, I sometimes forget how skinny they all can be.

"Sully" I called over to him, his full attention I now got.

When I called his name it usually meant a treat was coming his way, either that or he was going on the halter. He didn't like that much at first, especially if that meant a trip to the vet but now, he associates it more with a walk around the yard. It's all part of our preparation for when we move them to their new home once we're back from Africa.

Today though the call of his name meant lots of attention when we reached him, Mike too who refused to miss out. A treat also went their way, all of them in the shape of a horse treat, although the younger ones only got half.

"How do you think they are going to do tomorrow," Christian asked as we left the alpaca's behind and headed back towards the house.

"I'm not sure. Barnard will be on guard, having so many people around he doesn't know, that's why I stated that all who are coming do so an hour earlier so by the time of our wedding, he might have calmed down somewhat and knows they are not a threat. With you and Luke out here, showing no fear of those that are arriving, that will help calm him too. The only children who are coming are John and Rhian's boys and you said you've spoken to them."

"I have, they can't wait to see the animals. They think it's the coolest thing ever to have them at our wedding and want them to come to their birthday parties."

"They would eat everything, the goats certainly would" I laughed. "That's why the marquee is on the opposite side of the yard from where they all will be."

"Tomorrow is going to be perfect Ana. Who knows, hopefully, we will make a baby while we're in Africa."

"I hope so" I replied. "I think creating a child in the place where we came back together again would be perfect."

Looking back at the marquee, the rose arch, before we entered the house. I looked forward to tomorrow and the days that would come then. I would embrace whatever came our way.

…

"Ana, sleeping beauty, it's time to get up. In six hours, you're getting married" Grandma whispered, her words waking me from my slumber, bringing a smile to my lips.

In six hours, I will be Professor Anastasia Grey.

I will be sad to lose the Lambert from my name but that is something I will always be. I am my father's daughter, grandma's granddaughter, nothing will ever change that. Grey is my future, with the man who at present was probably pacing the hotel room where he had stayed last night.

"Morning grandma" I mumbled. "How are you doing."

"It should be me asking you that" she laughed.

"I know" I replied, sitting up in my bed as grandma sat beside me. "Are you sad that I'm leaving."

"Sad, no, never. You're getting the future you've always deserved, one of happiness. Will I miss you, of course, Christian too but I know you both will be minutes away from me should I need you. Besides, I will still see you when you work at the shop and for many dinners too either here or at your new home. We might not be living under the same roof any more Ana but we'll always be close."

"We will grandma. Thank you, for everything you've done for me over the years."

"Hey, no tears, you'll set me off" she spoke, brushing my tears away. "You have nothing to thank me for Ana, I'm just so blessed that you came home."

I pulled grandma to me, hugging her tightly as we both ignored the tears that fell.

I was ushered towards the bathroom and a steaming bath once we'd been able to compose ourselves for a few minutes. The tears will be back throughout the day, of that, I have no doubt.

Whilst sat in the bath, I was able to speak to Christian who although he was nervous, eager as I was for the time to pass quickly until two, he was so excited about our day.

"I will see you soon Ana, I left something for you with grandma."

"I have too" Luke called out from somewhere further away.

"Did you hear that?" Christian asked before telling Luke to get out of the bathroom where he must have snuck in, to make the call.

"I could hear his voice without the phone" I laughed, making Christian laugh too.

"I'd better go before they all confiscate my phone, men's time they're calling it although I'd much rather be with you. I will be waiting for you Ana under the arch of roses."

"I'll meet you there. I'll be the one in…. Whatever colour I chose."

"Tease" he murmured.

"Always, I love you."

"You too Ana, always."

With that, we ended the call as I continued to soak in the bath.

…

"You look so beautiful" Grandma spoke, standing beside me as I stared at my reflection in the large mirror before us.

"Grandma stop crying" I laughed.

"I can't" she smiled, bringing her hand up to the slide in my hair, one she had worn on her wedding day.

It had a butterfly on it, the bracelet from Luke that adorned my wrist, matching it. I loved them both, I also loved the locket from Christian. It was platinum to match my ring and inside it contained photos of us, one from when we were kids taken as we cuddled up on Ray's porch, a blanket over us to keep us warm as the rain fell close by. The second was of us kissing both on our knees, taken moments after he had proposed under our family tree. Our initials adorned the front and on the back was two letters, T. R.

There was enough room to have the initials of any future children we may have but for now, those two letters were there, resting over my heart.

"I'm ready" I announced, smiling at the old woman who had given me so much more over the years than just a roof over my head.

"You are, my dear. You've been ready for that man for such a long time, you just had to find each other again."

"Time to go" Kate announced as she went to my bedroom door to open it, she too trying not to cry as grandma still was. I'm not even married yet and the tears have arrived so god only knows what everyone's like during and after the ceremony.

Kate looked beautiful in her pale pink flowing dress as she turned to us both once the door was open. She was my maid of honour today and besides my boys and grandma, there was no one else I wanted more than her by my side.

Looking to grandma, we walked towards the door, leaving the window behind where I had spent most of the morning, peeking behind the curtains to see what was going on outside.

I had seen Christian out there, his family too as well as our friends and those who we were close to, arrive. I had seen Luke both outside and in when he had visited me in my room before I started to get dressed, an hour ago. I'd hugged him tightly, his hug tighter still, our friendship one that will last forever. I may be marrying our best friend, Christian may be moving away from him to be with me but he will always be an important part of our lives. We were the three monster musketeers and that will never change. Married or not, living near or far, I will always be their Boo.

When we arrived downstairs, we were greeted by Marco who was the wedding coordinator we had hired to manage the details of our day. He knew what we wanted and was adamant that we would receive all that we wished for and nothing would get in the way. I think it's Christian who has made sure of that, making sure we both had the wedding we wanted with no interruptions from those who were camped outside.

There had been no formal press announcement about the day of our wedding, no details sent out of where and when it would take place. The only clue that has given anything away is that the farm shop is closed, the gate locked and guarded and has been for the past couple of days.

They've taken that as a clue and ran with it, camping outside on the street. They will gain no pictures from out there except of the people that have been arriving this morning. Only one official photo will be released for free, others we may put out, the proceeds of them going towards our foundation. If anyone tries to get around the back of the property, through the field behind, they will be met by Robert's hundreds of cows or maybe his bulls and likely trampled in the process.

"Ready," Marco asked as Kate made sure my veil was in place, the train on my dress perfect.

"Yes, eager to get out there and be married" I laughed nervously.

I watched as Marco opened the door as Kate squeezed my hand before she left me to walk outside. She had checked me over quickly as she passed as I nervously stood by grandma's side.

"This does go beautifully with your dress" Grandma whispered, touching the bottom of my veil. "I was worried the colour would look faded, old."

"Grandma, it perfect, you looked after it well and I made sure my dress matched," I told her of the antique veil I wore, one she had worn herself when she had married my granddad over fifty years ago.

"Ready," Marco asked, gaining our attention and then we too were on our way out of the door and towards the man who not only filled my past but would do my future too.

Leaving the house, the porch behind, we walked towards the start of the aisle, the bottom of my dress brushing past the lavender I had planted many years ago, the smell soothing, a smell that meant home. It was the first thing Grandma and I had planted here together and I would make sure I planted it everywhere in my new garden once we were back from Africa.

Walking down the aisle, I smiled at all who were here before my eyes were on what waited for me at the end. My best friends, both who I loved so much, both who had large smiles on their faces as we approached.

My boys scrubbed up well in their suits, not like when they would come home from school after gym, covered in mud. Not like how I had seen them earlier this morning as they had fed and mucked out the animals, something to do to keep the nerves at bay. I envied them then for being able to do that, embrace the calm that those animals bring. Now I couldn't wait to be close to them both for another reason entirely, especially Christian as I couldn't wait to be his wife.

Reaching them, grandma placed my hand into Christian's before receiving a kiss on the cheek from us both. Once Luke was back in position after escorting grandma to her seat, the ceremony could begin.

While the priest spoke, Christian looked into my eyes. The only time our focus from the other was broken was to laugh when the priest asked who gave me away. It wasn't just Grandma who spoke up, but Luke too.

With each word spoken, ones filled with love we came closer to those we craved to hear. _I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride. _When they did come, Christian brought his hands to my face once the veil had been moved out of the way and kissed me as a husband should a wife, not caring as we poured all of our love into the kiss, who should see.

Only releasing each other to take a much-needed breath were we embraced by our family.

…

We had photos taken with everyone here, the humans and some animals, the alpaca's definitely getting in on those. Roberts cows seemed to have come closer to the fence to see what was going on so if anyone would have gotten into that field, they would likely have been crushed or found themselves vying for a place with a cow. Not one person was reported out there, although we heard noise from the front when the photo was released.

Anyone else outside of our bubble was forgotten though once the food had been eaten, the speeches done much to Christian's relief and the music began.

"Come on sis, my dance" Luke spoke up over the music, pulling me from where I had been very comfortable sitting on my husband's lap.

The first chords of Hey Brother rang out then as I was spun on to the dance floor, my laughter no doubt heard by all, my squeals too.

"I'm going to miss you," I told him as the song changed to a more sedate one.

"Are you going somewhere I'm not?" he asked.

"Well, I won't see you while we're away and then I'll be getting the animals settled in their new home plus being back at work."

"I'll come to visit, don't worry about that. You have a guest room perfect for me in your new house and I will be making plenty of use of that."

"Libby too," I asked as he looked at his girlfriend who was now dancing with Christian.

"Yes, Libby too" he smiled."

"I'm happy for you Luke, who knows it could be your wedding we're at next, or maybe Kate's and Elliot's" I laughed as they spun past us, nearly knocking Carrick and Grace off the edge of the dance floor in the process.

"Who knows" he admitted. "I have an added advantage if it is."

"What do you mean."

"Well if it's my wedding, I won't just have a best man, I can have my best woman by my side as well."

"We'll always be there for you, Sully."

"I know, I love you Boo" he replied, before spinning me around again.

When the music changed again, we all swapped around and I was back dancing with Christian. Being in this beautiful man's arms is where I should've been for the past ten years but we have more years than that to come.

"Happy," he asked as we stepped outside of the marquee, away from the music inside.

"More than I've ever been" I admitted, bringing my hand to his cheek when we had stopped by the fence of the alpaca's enclosure.

Bringing my lips to his I was able to kiss my husband with no distractions, no music blasted in our ears, no one trying to pull my attention away from him or so I thought. On our cheeks, we felt the cold air, followed by the damp nose. As we pulled apart, we both turned, laughing at Barnard's face which was so close to ours.

"I can't even have five seconds alone with my wife" Christian laughed.

"I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that" I laughed, watching Christian run his hand down the back of Barnard's neck before he was booped again on the side of his head.

"I don't mind Ana, this is the life I want. One with you, with Grandma and all these amazing creatures here."

We stayed outside of the marquee being entertained by the alpaca's, the goats, long past midnight being joined by others. Luke had Libby wrapped in his arms, Elliot was just as bad with Kate. Carrick and Grace, the Trevelyan's too were sat out on the deck having tea with Grandma. Many had already left an hour or so ago, those with children they had left at home. Mia, Jasper and Hannah filled the dance floor now with a few others that had come from GEH. We left them to their dancing while we embraced the peace outside, standing under our family tree.

"When do you think we'll add to it," I asked him.

"When the time's right" he replied, smiling as he placed a kiss upon my lips. I'd been off the shot a while now and although I know it can take time, I was as eager as the man stood beside me was, to add to our family. "Although I do think we should start trying tonight" he declared, making me laugh.

"Trying, we've never done anything to stop it" I laughed.

"I know, maybe your little egg and my tadpole are waiting to join up on special territory," he said, making me laugh even more. "A hill, overlooking family is maybe where they come together just like we did."

"I look forward to their meeting then" I replied. "Until then, we can continue practising."

"I agree, practice does make perfect" he declared before sweeping me off my feet and carried me towards the house, where we would be saying goodbye to them all for a little while.

…

Our wedding night had been spent in our new house, which although still needs a little work doing to it, the rooms that we needed had been completed. We'd christened our new bed and that was only after making love in front of the open fire. Now though we had left that behind and were on our way to the airfield wherefrom we would be soon on our way to Africa.

Arriving at the airfield, we could see Taylor who was instructing the men loading the hold with supplies that would be going to Dembe, Ryan was here too. They were both coming with us, although not as security as when we have visited Dembe before we had never encountered any problems. They are coming with us to distribute the supplies then I presume, they would be heading back home.

Where Christian and I would be heading off to, being dropped off during the way, security would already be there for us, organised by a man called Zane who works for Welch and comes from the area where we will be visiting, wherever that is.

"Are you ready Professor Grey?" Christian asked, taking hold of my hand after helping me from the car.

"To start our life together, I've been ready for a long time" I replied, bringing my hands to his cheeks, before placing a kiss upon his lips.

"Me too," he said, before lifting me, a squeal leaving my lips before he carried me towards the steps of the plane, and up, all the while the kisses continued.

It was at the top of the stairs when we heard it, the beeping of a car horn as it drove into the airfield, stopping beside the car we'd just left. Taylor wasn't on guard, he wasn't startled by the arrival, nor shocked by who got out of the car.

"Are you here to see us off" I laughed, looking down at Luke as he offered Libby a hand out of the car.

"No, we thought we'd hitch a ride" he called up to us as I looked to Christian, who was as surprised as I was.

"Hitch a ride where" Christian asked him.

"To Africa of course" our best friend laughed. "You've spoken so much about it, I thought a tour myself was needed and I have a perfect guide" he announced, kissing Libby.

"Where about in Africa. I only ask because you know I love you man but you're not coming on our honeymoon with us," Christian told him.

"No, thank you, hearing you two would be just gross. I thought, or more like we did, that we would distribute that aid you have stored in the belly of the plane while you're off doing stuff, I don't want to think my best friends of doing, plus I get to finally meet the wonderful Dembe."

I looked to Christian, his smile matching mine. To have Luke with us, a part of this trip as he had been part of our lives for so long is perfect.

"Come on then" Christian laughed as Taylor turned to us, announcing his departure.

They had obviously planned this, Taylor and Luke, it just made me wonder what else they had planned for this trip.

As Luke and Libby joined us on board, I hugged them both as they entered the cabin before they took their seats. Seeing them together a thought did cross my mind, one that was accompanied by a giggle.

"What," my husband asked me.

"I wonder."

"Wonder what."

"If Luke knows about the beds," I said, seeing a brilliant smile once again fill his face.

"If he doesn't, he will soon find out. Besides I found those beds at Dembe's very comfortable." 

"That's good because married or not, we'd still be sharing that tiny space again once we get there."

"I can't wait" he spoke as the door was closed behind us and we too took our seats.

An adventure awaited us all in a foreign land and like every time I left my country for theirs, I couldn't wait to embrace it.

….

_Three years later. _

We walked into the offices of T. R. Grey, her hand tightly held in mine. Looking up at the photo that filled the wall behind the reception desk, I failed to hide my smile.

It was of the little girl who was happily chatting away to anything and everything, taken at sunset on the beach. It was one of her in the distance at the water's edge but more prominent was the footprints she had left in the sand. Beside her footprints on the wet sand looked like another set had been left, although she had walked alone at the time. Was her sibling with her, I'd like to think that, think they were always by her side.

Phoebe Hope Grey, we believe was conceived on a hill in Africa, one very special to us both. It was where Christian and I had made love for the first time when we had come back together again and where we had celebrated that coming together more than once when we visited Dembe on our honeymoon.

"Mama, me draw," Phoebe asked, looking to the colouring pencils and paper that were in the reception area.

"For a moment sweetheart, then we'll go and see Daddy." 

"Uncle Lukey too," she asked.

"Later you can see Uncle Luke, Uncle Elliot and granddad too," I told her, laughing at the little happy dance she did.

Phoebe had them all wrapped around her finger, her daddy especially and she liked nothing more than getting up to mischief with her uncles.

"Ana, here you go," Jordan said, taking my focus off my daughter for a moment.

"Thank you."

I had come here to pick up and sign some papers, having both the T. R. Grey foundation and the program I set up many years ago, now run through the same offices here at Grey House. The charities had gone from strength to strength, the balls, the events we ran every year more popular than ever.

It was all a lot of fun but not as much fun as what went on at home. We had 22 alpaca's now, Barnard having his own small herd of boys which Mike and Sully were a part of. The girl's side, we had three cria's all born to our new girls in the past few weeks alone with Nola the llama Christian bought me for my birthday last year, her cria still yet to come. Most women have flowers, chocolate or jewels for their birthday, me, my husband buys me alpacas, llamas, chickens and pigs.

Signing the forms Jordan had given me, I returned them, taking the papers that contained the survey that had been done for the property we recently purchased in Arizona. It was a ranch, one we planned to renovate, not only the buildings and the grounds but would also start the process of making sure produce would grow.

Last year I had a student in my class, Matthew who although had special needs, had the drive and the will to succeed. I cried when he walked onto that stage to receive his diploma, cried with his mother who throughout her son's life had faced nothing but obstacles in their way. Matthew wanted to tend the land, raise animals just as I have done but without the funds and living in a small apartment despite the knowledge he'd learned, he didn't have the space to fulfil his dreams. Christian and I are going to help him fulfil them, giving him and his mother the space to live, others too, give them the independence, that chance that they need.

"We need to get started on this," I told him. "Top priority."

"We already have the crews ready to go on the property. We can clear the land but will need your expertise to get the soil ready to grow."

"You don't need me, besides by the time it's finished, I'll be a little busy. Hannah wanted a project, a challenge, see if she'll take it on."

"Will do boss" he spoke before heading back to his office to get on that call.

"Phoebe, come on, let's go and see Daddy" I called out, taking one more look at the photo on the wall. It wasn't the only copy of that photo, we would see another shortly when we entered my husband's office upstairs.

Walking into Christians office, he was on the phone, quickly ending the call as our daughter climbed onto his lap, showing him the stick people she'd drawn. She had his full attention as she told him about her day, that attention turning to me as she ran off to play with her doll, his arms coming around my waist to rest on my growing stomach.

"How are you both doing," he asked, placing a kiss upon my neck.

"We're doing fine. Your son likes to let me know he's here, just like he's letting you know now" I replied, knowing Christian could feel the kicks I could.

"Are you going to be ok tonight."

"Christian" I sighed, turning around to face my overprotective man. "I'll be fine, there's no way I'm missing the game."

With Phoebe and now with our son, Christian has been so protective of me throughout my pregnancies, not like he isn't the rest of the time. He panics for the first three months, only calming when I reach my second trimester. He's by my side every step of the way, feeling at first, he had a lot to make up for because of how my first pregnancy turned out. He has nothing to make up for, yes it was a horrible time but our child is still with us, in our hearts. We have three children as far we're concerned, one may be sleeping eternally, another is running around the office, and the third much to my amusement seems to have the hiccups.

"I can feel them, does he have hiccups," he asked.

"Either that or he's gained Uncle Elliot's arse and is farting all the way" I laughed.

"I hope not. Phoebe's diapers were bad enough as it was without the release of gas as well."

"It's all part of being a parent. You get the kisses and cuddles but you also get to deal with the shit" I whispered so our daughter couldn't hear, she heard his laughter though.

"I look forward to it all, even the dirty parts" he replied.

"Do you know what I'm looking forward to, what I'm craving now."

"What baby, a kiss."

"Always," I told him. "But what I'm really looking forward to tonight is a hot dog."

"Dog dog" Phoebe cheered making her daddy laugh.

"You can both have as many as you want," he told her as we watched as she told her dolly they could have one too.

We stayed in Christian's office until he was ready to leave, my daughter taking over the final meeting when Ros came in. It wasn't a planned meeting, she had only come in to speak about a business they were in the process of purchasing but as usual talk of work ceased as between Phoebe and Ros, talk of dolls and tea parties started.

…

Arriving at the stadium that evening, we were escorted to our suite, security all around us. We'd had no problems since Morton and Bordoff, both who were rotting away in jail but Christian never takes any chances with our safety so just like when we were dating, our CPO's are a constant feature wherever we are.

Elena Lincoln is still hanging around this city like a bad smell but no one goes near her, the business at her salons long since dried up with Grace making sure of that. A few words spoken, a few rumours started about her preference for younger men, boys and people couldn't desert her quick enough.

"Son, if you make me walk any quicker, I'm going to demand you give me a piggyback," Grandma told Reynolds who was trying to escort her through the crowd.

"Yeah, piggyback, piggyback daddy" Phoebe called out, bouncing in her daddy's arms.

"You can have your piggyback with Rasher when we're back home again," Christian told her, holding on tighter still to our daughter.

"Bacon too," she asked him, cheering when she received a nod.

I don't know if it was some sick joke of my boys to name our pigs, Rasher, Bacon and Gammon as when they arrived on our farm to join Heather, Lavender and Nutmeg, the female pigs we already had I was told they'd already been named and I wasn't allowed to change them. They weren't the only ones with some crazy names. We had Homer and Marge, our cockerel and one of our hens, then there's Bart, Lisa and Maggie too, goats this time. We had Donald, one of the ducks obviously that made a home on our pond, not forgetting Daisy, Huey Dewey and Louie as well. They were but a few of the animals that now lived on our farm, a few amongst many that I know won't be the last.

Entering the stadium, we made our way up to the private suite, a place we'd visited many times. Grandma was adamant about coming to Luke's home games when we did, not that we'd leave her behind anyway. She lived with us now, in the cottage on our farm. She's still independent as ever, still goes back to RoseAna's to work every day where Hannah now lives. It was a fall she had about a year ago that made her take up our offer to live with us, one she still doesn't remember much of, apart from she was coming down the stairs before waking up at the bottom. The cottage is all on one level now and close enough she can be with us and us her within minutes should need be. I will always be there for her whenever she needs me as she has always been there for me.

"Grandma, I hope you're going to behave yourself tonight," I told her as we removed our jackets on this warm evening, saying hello to the Greys who were already here.

"Me, behave. I'm always on my best behaviour until someone tackles that boy."

"That's the idea of the game Rose," Carrick told her, always amused as we all were at her antics.

"That may be but I still don't like to think of him getting hurt."

As Christian set Phoebe down, she bypassed her grandfather's open arms, running out to the balcony of the suite with the men in hot pursuit. She was looking for Uncle Luke, her favourite I think but I'd never tell Elliot that. Only when her daddy told her Uncle Luke would be out soon enough did she turn to give Carrick the hug that he craved.

"Always second best" he grumbled happily.

"No, he's just the one who sneaks her candy when he thinks we're not looking. Do that, come to think of it don't, she'd come looking for you too" Christian told his father.

"I've already told him, he's not allowed to do that with this one" Libby spoke, rubbing her stomach which was even larger than mine.

Luke and Libby got married just over a year after Christian and I did, with his best man and best woman by his side.

"You look ready to pop Mama," I told her, as we tried, which caused a lot of giggles from us both, to hug each other.

"I am, I'm hoping the excitement of the game will bring on labour but usually they just give me kicks of excitement as if they're cheering their daddy on."

"It sounds like madam over there. The roar of the crowd and she was kicking away, this little man seems to be more sedate at the games, so far anyway."

"Do you still not know?" Grandma asked Libby of the sex of the baby.

"No, we wanted to wait."

"Not as impatient as Mr Grey then" Grandma added nodding at Christian.

"Excuse me Grandma, who was the one who every day asked us what we were having just so you could know what colour to knit. We found out just for you," he told her.

"Well us grandma's need to know these things," she said, huffing as if that is the end of that conversation and he should say no more which made my husband laugh.

Our hot dogs were delivered right before the game. There was no longer posh food as I called it ordered as it turned out to be a waste. Beer and hot dogs the staple for Grey's to watch the game now, although Libby, Grandma and I stuck to tea and Phoebe her juice.

The game as always was a riot to watch, not just down on the field but up here in the suite. From Grandma shouting at anyone who went close to her grandson, to Luke's happy dance when he scored a touchdown, one my daughter did too.

No longer did anyone shy away from the cameras that were around, no longer did my husband hide who he really was. The man of old, the one he was before I returned to his life, that man had long been forgotten about in the minds of others, never reported on any more.

On show was the man I always knew him to be, the one who laughs, shows emotion but above all else, shows his love for others. The way he holds me, our daughter, the way he treats an old lady and those others like Taylor and Ros who've always been around. Yes, he can be seen as tough in the business world but that's all part and parcel of getting things done.

Some reporter called him a farmer's husband, but he's not, he's the farmer just like me. It's just a small part of who the man sat by my side holding our tired daughter is.

He's my husband, the father of my children, my best friend, my Mikey, my monster, my world.

In truth despite our early years, Christian's finally the person he was always meant to be and so am I.

_~~ The End ~~_

**Thank you for joining me on their journey, it's taken me a lot longer than planned to get to the end but it's been a lot of fun to write. **

**Take care and stay safe everyone. **

**Caroline. **


End file.
